h.
"You have to open your presents now!"
My eyes rolled without meaning to as I glanced at Flower, her eyes wide and excited as she stared at me and I knew I would have to even if I said no.
I hadn't been lying when I said I'd missed her, it was a fucking weird feeling. But it was always there whenever she wasn't. I had to admit I didn't really like it.
I didn't like being so dependant on somebody else, not that I even was. I could leave her right now and not feel a thing.
Maybe.
"I said not to get me anything." I muttered finally, her own pretty eyes disappearing as they rolled before she stood, the even prettier white dress falling to mid thigh as she grabbed the presents off the table and I almost reached out.
Almost but didn't.
Her soft skin always felt like heaven to me and I wanted to be touching her forever but now, now she had said those words that seemed to come so easily to her everything was different.
She said it to Ollie, to Max, probably to Eleanor and Liam and even though she had every right to, I don't think Flower knew quite what those words meant.
She certainly didn't if she was saying them to me.
Me and her weren't the same.
I blinked as three presents were deposited into my lap and case in point, we were different because these presents were perfectly wrapped with sharp lines and neat triangles and there definitely wasn't half a roll of tape holding it all together.
"Is there going to be more glitter?"
I watched Flower's cheeks turn red and she shook her head slowly, her eyes darting about slightly before she focused on my shoulder. She wouldn't look me directly in the face anymore and it was fucking obvious.
I reached for the bigger one first only to have her let out an adorable squeak and I raised an eyebrow, moving my hand to the second biggest and caught her smiling out the corner of my eye.
"Use your words, you're a big girl." I muttered, only half joking.
Flower did have a terrible habit of just using facial features to express herself and it was, frankly, fucking annoying.
Unless she was smiling, then it was fucking adorable.
I ripped the paper apart, my eyes widening a bit as the Packers mug came into view and I briefly wondered if this was her way of telling me to stop using her mugs.
They were just fucking mugs, Flower.
"Do you like it?" Flower asked quietly and I looked at her to see her brows furrowed delicately and her teeth chewing on her bottom lip.
I forced myself not to roll my eyes, she was really fucking insecure, and instead tugged her lip out from under her teeth and nodded.
I actually really liked it.
"How'd yeh' find it?" I asked as I put it on the coffee table, next to my other mug from her.
"I just googled it and found their website." Flower smiled shrugging.
"And why'd yeh' choose their away colour?"
"I can change it if you don't like it!" Flower rushed out, the worried look back on her face and this time I did roll my eyes.
"Didn't say that did I?" I spoke slowly, "Asked why you picked this colour..."
"Yellow's nicer than green." Flower blushed and I had to look away, something about her going red and shy did things to me.
"This one next?" I asked, almost teasingly making her nod and the colour of her cheeks intensified.
I ripped the paper off the small and thin gift to find an envelop and I smiled at the way she'd written my name with a heart attached to the end of the y.
She was cute.
I pulled out the piece of card flipping it over to see a coupon written out in almost perfect writing. Of course she had nice hand writing, Flower was practically perfect.
"It's a bit of a joke." Flower said quietly and I glanced at her, my eyes flicking to her necklace before looking back at the coupon.
This coupon is good for one (1) cooking lesson with Poppy Carmichael & Harry Styles.
"Think m'gunna need more than one lesson."
I smiled at her as Flower's cheeks heated and her laugh bubbled out of her mouth, the sound was intoxicating. Everything about her was intoxicating and I'd never wanted to make anyone smile and laugh before.
Now I never wanted Flower to not be smiling, especially not at me.
"You can have as many lessons as you want." Flower hummed as I dropped the coupon inside my new mug and looked at her, she was fucking beautiful, and not in the shallow looks only kinda way.
I mean she was fucking hot, in that weird adorable way that made me want to ruin her and have her under me dripping and begging my name but she was also beautiful because she was nice.
Flower was easily the nicest person in the world and most definitely in my life, there was no way she could love me.
"Can I open this one now?" I asked suddenly, in an attempt to distract myself from my thoughts and I picked up the weighty box and Flower nodded.
I wasted no time in ripping the paper away, somewhat worried that there'd be more glitter but there was no glitter to be found only a white box with an apple logo and a picture of a brand new phone.
My lip twitched as I stared at the box, was she having a fucking laugh?
I pulled the lid off the box, deciding to humour her and I could see Flower's teeth chewing her lip out the corner of my eye again but this time she had every fucking reason to be nervous.
My teeth ground together as I stared at the brand new untouched phone, my angry face reflecting back at me.
"It's an eleven, sixty four gigs and I got you a black one because I thought you'd like that better."
Flower's voice was small and I exhaled through my nose as I tried hard not to snap at her.
"I got myself one too, but mines purple."
"How much was this?" I forced out through clenched teeth, turning my eyes to her and I watched as Flower visibly flinched backwards.
"That isn't important. It's a gift."
"Tell me right fucking now how much this was, Poppy."
I watched as her eyes widened and a glossy sheen coated them and I swore to god that if she started fucking crying I was leaving and going back to Ireland and never fucking coming back.
How could she been so fucking clueless?
"It's not important H, I wa-"
"Don't fucking call me that."
I shoved the top back on the back before dropping it into her lap and leaving the room. I had to get away from her before I did something stupid and something that I'd regret.
I slammed the door to my bedroom shut, the noise echoing as I stood in the middle of the room seething. I felt like ripping my hair out or ripping something to shreds but I couldn't because this wasn't even my fucking house.
I groaned as I sank to the floor, my hands forming fists and releasing over and over again as I tried not to be angry with Flower.
She meant well but she just didn't fucking think.
If I wanted a new phone then I would have bought myself one. Now there was no way she wasn't sat down there totalling up the presents I had given her compared to what she's bought for me.
I'd given her a fucking candle and she'd bought me a fucking brand new iPhone.
She'd told me she loved me and then fucking made me open a brand new iPhone, how could she ever fucking love me when she must know I couldn't buy her things like that.
My candle and a fucking necklace didn't even come close to what the phone cost and now she knew she'd made the wrong fucking choice.
I couldn't give Flower anything she didn't already have, fuck I couldn't even afford half the stuff she already has!
Me and her were just not the same, we came from different worlds, she had everything she ever wanted and I had nothing.
Except her.
My eyes closed as I lent against the end of my bed, although it was barely my bed considering one, it was Flower's house and two, I spent my nights in her bed. I groaned as I tugged at my hair, the thought of her forcing out everything that didn't concern her.
The way Louis had told her to shut up on Saturday almost had me sinking my fist into his face, she was delicate and she shouldn't be talked to like that and...
I... had done the exact same thing.
My chest felt like it had caved in as a mental image of Flower sitting downstairs crying because I had been so horrible to her. It was Christmas and I....
I fisted my hair as I cursed myself out internally, why was I such a fucking dick?
Flower was pure and delicate and she was the nicest person in the world and she was an angel.
And I treated her like she was just like everyone else, but she wasn't. She better than everybody, certainly better than me.
The small wrapped present suddenly felt like it was made of steel and was burning a hole through my pocket and I pulled it out turning it over in my fingers. Flower's sad face when I had lied and told her it wasn't hers...
She made me want to give her the world.
And the fact she had referred to herself as Flower...the word scribbled crudely in my five year old handwriting on the sticky tag, she thought of Flower as her name.
I didn't even know why I'd lied, I knew she would love the key more than any of the monetary gifts. I knew what she liked and the things she loved, Taylor Swift, cats, the colour pink, so much so she used pink glitter, me.
"Harry you fucking prick."
I pushed myself up, cursing myself as I realised I'd overreacted. I fished my phone out of my pocket and looked at the small device, it was seven years old and barely worked, plus the screen was so small I struggled typing.
I opened the bathroom door, popping the sim card out and dropped my phone into the sink, the hard crack as the glass back hit the ceramic basin made me snort and I turned the tap on, the stream of water splashed onto the screen.
The sink filled as the phone sank to the bottom of the pool of water and I stared at it, nothing was really happening.
I thought it would have been more dramatic than this.
I smacked the tap off and left my room, I couldn't hear any crying and the thought sent my heart into overdrive as I descended the stairs several a time, my eyes landing on Flower leaning against the counter, her eyes glued to her phone.
Her new purple phone and I watched as her fingers flew across the screen and I felt a little bit better, at least she wasn't crying.
How could I have been such a cunt?
"Do I need a new number or do I get to keep this one?"
Flower jumped at the sound of my voice and I watched in slight amusement as she fumbled with her phone, her pretty eyes wide as they looked at me and the sim card I was holding up.
"Jesus Christ." Flower breathed out, holding a hand to her heart and I smirked, now she knows how I feel when she creeps about.
"M'sorry." I mumbled as I crossed the kitchen to stand in front of her, her head tilting so she could look at me and I smiled, she really was the cutest.
I watched as she frowned a little bit and I knew the wheels were turning in her head as she tried to figure out if I was going to snap at her again and I really wanted her to know that I'd never do anything to scare her.
"Shouldn't have flipped out on you like that. You did something nice, because you are nice. Nicest person in the world and m'sorry Flower. I just," I paused, licking my lips. Did I really want to tell her?
"I just worry, I don't know, I can't buy you things like that. I mean, fuck,"
"It's alright Harry." Flower spoke up making me blink at her, Harry? "I should have asked, I just thought it'd be a good present. I don't want you to spend money on me, I don't expect it, like that candle is seventy pounds! That's too much for a candle!"
"But you- you do like it yeh'?"
"I love it Harry! But it's still more than I wanted you to spend on me. I wanna spend money on you because I like you and you're like my best friend." Flower's cheeks grew red as she spoke.
"Harry?" I questioned making Flower frown again.
"That's your name..."
"Thought I was H?"
"But you told me not to call you that?" I could hear the sadness in her voice and I hated myself now more than ever.
"And you listen to me?" I asked pointedly, "Knowing I talk a lot of shit?"
Flower's laugh slipped through her lips and I smiled, dropping my head to press our lips together, swallowing the sound immediately as she dropped her phone to the counter and wrapped her arms around my neck and I pulled her flush against me.
My tongue ran along her bottom lip, the taste of her lip balm sending me into overdrive as I gripped the back of her neck, moving her about as if she was a doll and Flower, predictably, gasped and my tongue slipped inside and I groaned against her lips.
She drove me crazy in every way imaginable and she always tasted how I imagined summer to taste.
"My turkey!"
Flower pulled away from me suddenly with a jerk and I almost whined before I caught myself, watching as she pulled open the oven and her words made sense.
"Tha's a fuckin' big ass bird."
I licked my lips as Flower fussed, my tongue catching the last remnants of her fruity flavour, the baking tray making a solid noise as she put it down on the counter and my eyes immediately zeroed in on the roast potatoes.
Yes.
"I thought Max and my Father were going to be here, and maybe you when I bought it." Flower admitted, before she glanced over her shoulder at me.
"Do you want lunch now? It'll keep if not."
"M'always hungry Flower." I said making her smile.
I pulled myself up onto the island as I watched Flower bustle about in the kitchen, dividing the vegetables equally between us and even though I demanded more potatoes and got them, there were still a lot left over.
I offered to help cut the turkey and make gravy but she had declined, and turned her nose up at the idea of gravy and I paled, if Flower didn't like gravy on her roasts...could I really like someone like that?
I watched in silence as Flower fussed about, the domestic side of her shining through and I knew she liked cooking and doing things like this. The shifting in my gut and the sudden tightness of my jeans had me glancing down at myself and I swallowed.
Apparently, I liked it when she was domestic too.
Fuck.
"Where do you want to eat?" Flower asked, her soft voice breaking through my panicked thoughts of trying to hide the fact I was rock hard, from the weirdest circumstances.
I thought about it for a minute.
"If we eat in the lounge will you have decorated the dining room for nothing?"
"No, it's okay if you wanna watch TV." Flower smiled but I caught how her shoulders lowered a little.
"Dining room." I stated firmly, watching as her lips rolled together and she turned away a little bit and I knew she was smiling and didn't want me to know.
Flower held out a plate towards me and I rubbed my jaw, eyes flicking down slightly, it was obvious.
"You go ahead Flower, I need to get...cutlery" I stalled, making her blink.
"There's already cutlery on the table." She smiled unhelpfully and I exhaled through my nose, of course there was.
"H...are you okay?" Flower asked, and I opened my eyes unaware I'd even closed them to find her heading towards me.
"M'fine." I snapped, forgetting myself for a moment and standing as I snatched the plate from her hands.
"Oh."
She sounded so small and soft and surprised and it did not help me as I exhaled, turning away from her.
"Your lunch is getting cold." I said as I left the kitchen only to pause in the foyer, as I realised I had no idea where the dining room even was.
I jumped as a small hand touched my hand before linking its fingers through mine and pulled me to the door on our right and I blinked, I hadn't even noticed a door there and I'd literally decorated the arch alongside it.
"Do you need to...deal with that?" Flowers soft voice reached my ears as I looked at the places she'd set.
"S'fine." I waved it off as she took a seat which left me at the head of the table, it wasn't fine actually. It was hurting.
Arguably this was the longest I'd gone since having Flower around, usually, this was taken care of the minute I realised. But this was different and annoying and I had to try to start thinking about anything other than her.
Potatoes, Niall, death, my grandmother, my grandmother dying...
I shoved a whole potato in my mouth and almost groaned at how good it tasted and I glanced at Flower to see her cutting her food up into tiny little chunks, her eyes glancing at me every so often and that really was not helping.
"I can deal with it...if you want?"