Neliue POV
Getting into my room, I lay down on the bed, I try to take in deep breaths to not let my tears fall but I guess it isn't worth it. I can already feel the waterworks forming up. "Oh my god, how will I even tell them that he's never coming back? how will they even take it? I don't think they will even understand?" I just think they're still to young to have this burden on their shoulders. I'm not trying to underestimate them, God knows I'm not, maybe I'm scared, scratch that, I'm freaking terrified. This is too much for them to handle. I choose not to do this to them.
"I also can't go back now or get him back in our lives, especially when the kids are here now." I can't forget all the things he did to, the way he battered me everyday when he was drunk, I remember every whip lash, every punch, every kick to the stomach. The tears are full on now, making their way down to my cheeks. I remember everything like it just happened yesterday.
Flashback
The doorbell rings as I was sitting down on the couch flipping on some stupid shows on the TV. I leave the remote on the couch as I go to open the door for James, I knew he was the one coming home right now, obviously, we are the only people who leave in the house plus the staff but they only come in during the day and they most certainly don't come in at work at 2am in the morning drunk.
"Honey you're home." In the state he's in, my voice comes out squeaky but today I'm so happy to let it bother me. Maybe the news will change him. "He's going to love the news." I thought.
I help him get in the house. One of my arm on his shoulder, his on my waist. Even now when he's this drunk, I don't fail to notice how his touch sends shivers down my spine.
He roughly gets my arm from his shoulders. "What the hell, if you could just let me help you, you can barely walk by yourself." I yell at him
"I fucking know how to walk, who do you think I am? A toddler that needs help in walking?" I flinch, his voice was higher than mine, scarier even considering the cold look he gave me when he said it.
"You're such a nuisance, I don't even know why I married you, can you just leave me alone." He says this out loud.
He's never talked to me like this, even when he started getting this drunk after we got married, it hurts me to hear him say that. It feels like a knife was cutting it's way through my heart.
Now in the living room I still try to help him get on the couch, he yanks me back and I fall on the floor. I wince as the floor gets in contact with my butt. In instinct I hold my stomach. I think I've already started being super duper protective. Motherhood has started kicking in.
"Ok fine, do what you fucking want, I don't care about what you want anymore." I cry because this is happening to us. We were so in love, I don't what happened to us, what happened to him. He changed so much, I can hardly recognise who he is right now.
"Don't. Raise. Your. Voice. At. Me." He says each word on clenched teeth, taking very domineering steps towards me, now back on the couch, him standing close to the coffee table.
As stubborn as I am, I don't hold my tongue anymore, this has been going on for far too long now. "No! You don't raise your voice at me because I'm not the one coming home drunk, beating me up like a fucking rag doll and having your way with me." "This is what you've been doing since we got married six months ago, i'm so tired James, tired of this marriage and you." I yell back at him.
"You know what? I love you, so damn much it hurts, hurts but not like the way you're doing to me right, I can't do this, I love myself too much, now that I have a ba......" I stop for a second realising what I was about to say. I can't tell him now, bad timing especially now that I'm trying to figure out if I want to stay or leave. "I'm leaving you James, I'm getting away from you." I get up and take my way towards the direction of the stairs since he seems to be in a trance.
I don't too far anyway, I think he recovers from his trance quickly. Immediately I'm yanked back, my back hitting the coffee table first, my breathing stops for a minute, to take in the pain, before it even goes away, I'm roughly pulled up and thrown on the couch, the arm rest hitting my chin, I feel the sound of bone cracking and the pain shoots up immediately. I think I also burst my lip, the taste of blood made known in my mouth. My head is throbbing like a bitch and my eyesight is fuzzy as fuck. I can't clearly see a damn thing. The unbuckling of a belt is all I hear since I can't clearly see but my mind is able to register what is about to happen. It has happens so many times its not even hard to know what is about to happen again.
Protectively, I clutch my stomach and swing my back on my left side, I know the angle is going to merely help me protect my stomach but that is what I've got right now. It will have to do. Today I'm not even scared for me, but for the baby i'm carrying. I can't risk anything happening to it, I wouldn't live with myself. I can't even start to fathom that, it hurts just having a thought of it.
The first whip gets on my back and another and another. In the middle of it I loose count, I don't even feel the pain anymore I'm used to it. Been there, done that. As fast as it came, as fast it went. I don't know when he stopped because later I hear footsteps, him not even taking a glance to the piece of work he made. He staggers to the stairs and I hear the door slam shut.
My face is wet, my body numb from all the pain. As I lay down on the couch, I knew this time it was different,I could feel it, I had to make up my damn mind, not only for me but for the one that is inside me.
"Tomorrow little one, tomorrow we are going to start another journey, just me and you my love."
End of flashback.
I drift off to sleep.
Desired visual of the room☝ and Nels room in MM.
1173 words people🙆🙆 so freaking happy.
Next update prolly on Friday.
Oh and I have 24 reads already🙉🙈🙊 Thanks for that.
Song:- Red flags- Andra Day😭
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