My legs lead the way to the only safe haven they know. I guess we are going back to the one place secluded enough to hide both of us, the depot. Nerissa follows me blindly, lost again in her thoughts, dodging trees completely absent-minded, and tripping over exposed roots. I would give everything to know what she's thinking right now. She looks devastated, however, the pallor in her cheeks is what's scaring me the most. Her condition is only going to get worse now, that the adrenaline is slowly leaving her body. My mind races like crazy looking for a place closer to our location, but even Matt's house is all the way in the other part of the city. Good thing that the forest stretches beyond the fringe and almost near the train station.
The epinephrine in her bloodstream is keeping her numb for now, but soon she will succumb to immense pain from her sore muscles and stinging cuts. She looks like Hell! There is blood everywhere on her clothes, her beautiful face, on her bare arms. Gosh, from the way she looks she could have been hit by one of the bullets. I cringe at the gooey stain that covers the right side of my shirt. We've both been hit pretty bad.
'Have a seat on the chair over there.' I point her to the stool near the counter, as soon as we enter the attic.
She has been silent the whole time and I hate that I have to leave her alone, even for a few of seconds. I count my steps until I return with the medical kit, giving my mind something else to think about. It's harder than I thought, when the smell of her still lingers in the air from yesterday. I didn't expect her to ever step foot in here, not to mention coming twice in 24 hours.
The sound of the medical supplies hitting the wood breaks her reverie. She looks dazed, still, her breathing has returned to normal now, that she's out of danger. I must admit she's handling it better than I have predicted. I can feel her gaze following me across the room, but she doesn't say anything when I offer her a glass of water. It's time I start taking care of my injuries first, otherwise, I won't be of any help if I pass out or they get infected.
Without wasting any more time, I take off my ruined shirt and throw it on the floor. There is one nasty cut in my abdomen that needs urgent care, shard still in, but not life-threatening.
'Will you please pass the disinfectant and the bandages?' I break the ice, not really knowing what to make of her radio silence. Is she still upset or is she still in shock?
Nerissa leans forward, casually tossing the sterile bottle over to me and doing the same with the gauze roll. I grin at her little show. No one could possibly be so calm after what she's been through. Then, I grab the glass shard and slowly pull it out of my burning wound. My training guides my hands to drag it out straight and not cause more internal damage. However, halfway through, my vision starts blurring and my legs turn to jelly. I close my eyes and grab the cold counter to steady myself, hissing in pain when I finally get the sharp glass out. This will definitely leave a scar, the thought pops into my mind, as I put the bloody sliver down on the metal tray.
After I cleaned the throbbing gap in my abdomen and bandaged it, I do the same for another few superficial cuts on my arms. As I screw the cap to the antiseptic bottle, I lift my gaze to her only to find myself lost between land and water. Nerissa's stare is making me more receptive of our closeness, silently following every single move I make, and blushing when she locks her eyes on my bare chest. Her innocence is driving me insane! I take a few steps towards her, closing the distance between us, our eyes still fixed on each other. She eeks as I grab the chair from under its seat, and drag it conveniently closer to the margin. Our bodies are only inches apart, her legs softly touching mine. Suddenly, breathing gets harder and the air heavier.
'This is going to hurt like hell.' I warn her while I soak a clean cloth in the bluish liquid.
My hands are trembling not because I feel weak, but rather due to my inner battle I'm struggling to control. How can I concentrate when these juicy lips are right in front of me?
The bandage turns blue and the air pungent, however, neither of us seem to mind it. I gently press it on the deepest cut near her collar bone, watching her delicate features shrink in pain. Her breathing quickens, suppressing a painful cry as she closes her eyes. I stop immediately, giving her enough time to gather her strength. After the worst has passed, she nods her head in approval letting me know I can continue. I clean all her injuries meticulously, taking my time to inspect every inch of her exposed skin. I close the gap between us even further, until we breathe the same air. Slowly, I tuck one of the reddish locks behind her ear, hoping my heart won't break out of my chest. Her skin reacts straight away to our proximity as thousands of small bumps cover her body. She lifts her glance and I lose myself where earth and ocean meet, our bare arms lightly touching. Nerissa escapes a shy moan, breaking all my barriers, and leaving me paralyzed as I rest my forehead on hers. I want her and I want her now! I scream in my head while I pant heavily with desire.
My entire body is burning, a deliciously flame sparkling hungrily as I wet my lips, urging to let me kiss hers. She slowly raises her mouth to mine and I can't control myself anymore. My whole purpose gets erased as I start kissing her deeply, ravenous like my own life depends on it. Her hands move unsure towards the back of my neck, her fingers entangling in my messy hair and pulling it gently.
'Oh, sweet torture! What are you doing to me?' I whisper in her ear, completely surrendered to her feverish touch and unearthly beauty.
Cupping her face in my hands, I look at my reflection in her yearning gaze. A powerful feeling of caressing her wounds takes control over my body, and I softly brush every cut and bruise on her face, her shoulders and down her arms. Then, I hoist her up and start kissing her again, our bodies pressing into each other harder and harder. She wraps her legs around my waist, tightening the embrace and responding to every single one of my kisses. The blood in my veins starts boiling and I can feel my stomach churning with lust. It feels so good that we forget about everyone and everything for a while.
She deepens her kiss and moans with pleasure when her back meets the cold wall. Our hands explore unseen territories, greedy to find out what the next moment unveils. I find the hem of her top and start pulling it up. My heart beats so fast, it could stop forever any second from now. It wouldn't matter. I would gladly die a happy man, for I am certain I have reached bliss. But then, the precious moment breaks into a million pieces, when her shaky hands find their way on my chest and push me gently away. We are only inches apart, both gasping for oxygen.
'We have to stop this!' She blurts out, panting and distancing away from me. 'This is wrong, Roone, very wrong. We are breaking the law.' She continues, avoiding eye contact and nervously walking back and forth.
I stare at her speechless and wounded. I've never longed for something so bad before.
'What if you got infected, too?' She exclaims, her voice tuned down from before. 'What if we both go insane and never find Susan. What about my parents? If there is a chance, they might be alive I can't risk speeding the infection.'
Dammit. She's right. It doesn't matter that I am immune to the bloody virus, if she is not. Could she be infected? I can feel my pulse quickening. She just proved she can feel like the rest of us, still, I don't see any trace of the illness in her eyes.
'Nerissa...' I take a step towards her, wishing I could hold her in my embrace and ease her pain. This is not her fault. I should have known better.
She shies away, protecting herself against my touch and taking a big, long breath before speaking again. I watch her resigned, letting the pang of guilt pierce my chest. It's the first time I feel the real weight of this mission on my shoulders. Then, with her face pale and swollen from crying, Nerissa takes a painful glance in my direction.
'What about Nathan? He's counting on me, too, you know?!'
Now, that's it. Watching her lips mention Blondie's name sends me over the edge. I can understand her reserve and, damned, she has some good points, yet her attachment to Nathan I cannot digest. At all. I try to reach inner peace in one inhale, but of course, I fail miserably. The truth is, she would be far better with him. It's my fault I let things go this far and I better stop fooling around. Instead, I decide to stop being the good guy from now on and focus only on my damn job. No more loose ends.
'Fine!' I say, picking up my T-shirt from the floor and pulling it over my head. 'Then you have to go. Do you have somewhere else to spend the night?' I ask, my tone flat and averting her saddened stare. You can't have it both ways.
We are back to business. Bothered or not, I still have to figure out what the heck is going on. I must find the others and fill them in about the notebook. They've been lied, too. Heck, we've all been told there is no cure to the virus, that once activated the infection spreads rapidly and the subject dies in a few weeks. Something doesn't add up and I better find what is going on, and fast.
She finally nods saying only one word.
'Ilya's'.
'Great.' I reply coldly and disappear after a small door. This time I don't feel sorry for leaving her alone.
I admit, I dragged it as long as I could, but how much time can one spend looking for a spare of clean clothes and a towel? Besides, there's nothing in my closet that can fit her tiny body. My black hoodie will do it, I guess. God, I'm pissed off more than I like to admit, but I won't let her know that, ever.
'You have to wash off all that blood first. It's not safe to be seen like that.' I utter as soon as I open the door.
She grabs them in a hurry and runs to the bathroom. I can tell she's upset, but this time it's not my fault. I'm done with chicks like her.
While she takes a shower, I open the notebook and flick rapidly through its contents, until I find the end of her mother's notes. Her scribbles are hard to follow, yet when I turn the last page to read more of it, a half-ripped photograph sways to my feet and lands softly on my boots. I bend to pick it up, having my eyes focused on the smiling faces the whole time. It's a group photo, however, in this half, there are only two people – Amanda and Ethan, Nerissa's parents. I open my eyes in surprise trying to make out the overexposed background.
'What the..?' I let it out after I recognize the surroundings. The photograph was made on Terra 2, not far from the Colonies, at the same lake we used to sneak out and blow off steam.
I flip it over, more by habit rather than by a hunch, only to discover the same handwriting as in the journal. Some of the words are illegible, covered with dirt or smudged ink. I squint my eyes, as I try to decipher the hidden letters that could either unravel a breakthrough or turn the whole paragraph into complete nonsense. It appears the nanites, which are highly chemically reactive organisms, are changing their bio-engineered purpose when dopamine levels are high. The same concentration results from pure love, when our hearts expand to make room for another. With a new generation of nanoids, stronger and smarter to fight the battle, the virus doesn't have a chance.
Does this mean they really found a cure? If that's true, it makes total sense why Iron Guard has taken Susan. They want her to synthesize a cure for them. But then, all of a sudden, a strange thought hits me. If they had the cure all this time, why the heck they sent us here? And what on Earth is Nerissa and the others' role play in this?
This piece of information changes everything, the whole mission, the virus, herself.
...
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