Explaining it all to Eden was hard for Grant. She hated telling her that she could not sleep with her because she was afraid she would hurt her. Eden took it well. Just hugged her and told her it would be OK. Fabio agreed to take the upstairs room with her and told her he would stay as long as he was needed. His man could wait.
Grant went to make up the bed in the spare room and Bull fallowed her. He stopped her and carried her up the stairs. Sat her on her feet at the bottom of the bed and hugged her. She wrapped her arms around his middle and started crying. He let her. He knew she felt guilty and it was going to bother her too to be away from them.
"I'm so sorry babe. I am. You know how much I want to be with you and Eden. Its killing me but If I hit her I could hurt her bad. Its bad enough Fabio has a black eye. I bet he is going to wear a cup to bed tonight."
"Maybe but its OK. Does he seem mad? No. Why? Because he loves you Sam. Your his friend. He would do anything to not see you like that. I'm not going to sugar coat things it was bad. It was like you had a demon in you. I understand why your making the decision to do what your doing but know that this is temporary. If it was any other man I would be putting up a fight but its Fabio and I trust him and you. He is a good friend. So let me make the bed for you. Your not moving your stuff in here. Your room is our room. Your just sleeping in here. Everything else is the same. Cuddling in bed before sleep, showering, breakfast, sex. All in our room got it?"
"Yes Will. Sex sounds good. If only I could"
"love we still can. You cant have intercourse but Eden and I can still make you orgasm. Same as you helping us. We can do stuff just not everything yet. I bet Eden would love to feel the connection. Were going to have to make sure we don't loose that. I have missed us in that way love. I missed the touches. So what do you think?"
"I think I need figure out logistics to make my woman and man scream my name. That's what I think. Also about the meds. I'm not going to use them right away. I want to try a bath before bed. Lavender oil warmer. I think looking into a weighted blanket too. Its on the things to try. I think getting things back to normal. Not changing things unless we have to is another big one. Finding our routine. I know tomorrow is doctors for both of us then Eden had rehab on her knee. Maybe we can do dinner out. Fabio too. He is part of us for that stuff as long as I need him here. I wont let him be alone."
"I agree. He can be part of everything but the baths but knowing Fabio he would take one with you and honestly I would not blink an eye. Hell I trust all my partners. None of them would touch you or Eden in a way that was anything other then sisterly. So after dinner we tell him were bonding and we see what we can do to relax."
Grant nodded and kissed him brushing her fingers over the front of his pants. He pushed his hard on into her hand rubbing himself against her. She winked at him and sat down in the rocker. He made the bed for her adding an extra blanket knowing she was always cold. He was glad the bed was pushed against the wall. It would stop her from falling off of it.
Eden yelled for them to come down for dinner and they went. Both starving. Grant caught Eden at the sink and turned her around and kissed her. Whispering in her ear that later she was going to make her feel good. Very good. Eden made her promise. Grant did. After a dinner of stuffed shells and garlic bread the trio made there way up stairs. Grant being able to climb the whole flight. She was out of breath and had to sit down but she still did it.
Once in there bedroom they took there time taking each others clothes off. Kissing skin as it was revealed. Biting gently, licking new places, changing the speed of what they were doing. By the time they were done each of them were sated and tired. Relaxed and calm.
Bull helped Grant get dressed in one of his shirts and a pair of the panties he bought her. She kissed Eden goodnight then walked with her to the bedroom across the hall. When they walked in Fabio got up off the bed and folded back the covers. Grant kissed Bull and held him for a few moments. She turned around and got into the bed. Feeling like a child banished from there parents room for the first time but this was self banishment. Bull talked to Fabio for a minute or two then left and came back with a smile of his face. He handed her the bear he bought her in the hospital. Her and Eden both kept them on there night stands. She kissed him one last time then rolled over not wanting to see him leave to go back to there bed with there woman. Fabio climbed in and snuggled up next to her. Yes it was another man but to her it was her best friend so it was not odd. He flicked the TV on and went to sleep.
Another night, another night terror. This time Fabio was prepared. He held both her hands in one of his and rubbed her back. He placed the bear up close to her chest wanting her to feel the comfort of it. She screamed just like last night so he upped the volume of the TV trying to mask the noise she made. Bull heard it anyway and stepped in to the room but said nothing. The last thing he wanted to happen was her to wake up and see him and feel guilty. He took of his shirt and passed it to Fabio who put it under her nose. Fabio began talking to her about random things. Harmony's wedding, the bakery, Hawaii, the ocean, pineapple. All things familiar to her. Eden, Bull, Okie, Mark. After a half hour she calmed down and fell back into a deep sleep. Fabio heard the other man leave and wondered to himself how long his friend could watch this happen before it really started to take its toll on him. He decided that he was going to ask his friend to not come in. To not watch Grant go threw it. Its sucked for him as her friend he could imagine how bad it would be for him if he was her lover. When he sure she was settled he let himself drift off.
The next morning Grant woke long enough to eat a bowl of cereal in bed then went back to sleep in the bed she belonged in with Eden by her side. At noon Bull woke them up to get ready for there appointments. When she asked if she had another issue as she put it Fabio told the truth but also told her he had a few ideas to help with them. He was going to order the stuff..
The doctor told them both the same thing's they were told when they left the hospital. Relax, rest, sleep, eat and move around. Edens physical therapist put a different brace on her knee. This one allowed her to bend it. She could take it off in the shower, bath and bed time. He showed her some exercises she could do that would strengthen her knee. Afterwards they went out to dinner then stopped at Bull's moms house. She took to the ladies like they were her own. She promised to come visit with Bulls sister soon.
After dessert with Fabio the trio went upstairs but instead of the bed they went to the tub. Bull sat down and pulled Grant into his lap as Eden took the other end. The took turns messaging each others feet and legs and just talked. Half way threw Grant asked Eden to snuggle with her. Bull understood there need to connect so he got out and went Into there room and got out clothes for Grant for bed and then went in and made her bed. Spraying his cologne on the bear. He wanted her to associate the bear with him so when Fabio left he could take over, with hopes that the terrors would go away.
Grant walked in and pulled him into a hug. Kissing him, using her mouth to tell him how much she loved him.
"what if they don't go away. What if the medications are not enough. What if they continue. How the hell is this, us supposed to work if I cant sleep next to the two people I love most in this world. What about us having a family? How does that work?. I hand over my baby to you and Eden and go sleep in another room so I don't hurt it? Will I'm scared. I hate not being with you two. I almost wish Eden could see one so she knows. So she is as scared of me as I am of hurting her. So she understands why I cant be with her at night. How we were so scared of her hitting my chest in her sleep when really it's me that's the monster who hurts people." She told him trying not to choke on her own emotions. Ones that were foreign to her.
"Samantha Kai, don't call you dare call yourself a monster. I cant imagine what your going threw but your not alone. You have me, you have Eden, you have Fabio, you have a lot of friends and family that love you. We all know you would never hurt anyone."
"But I did. Have you seen the shiner Fabio has? Come on now. I cant do this. Please kiss me goodnight so I can let my demons come out to play. There bound to no matter what I do." Grant told him kissing him. Bull let it go for tonight not wanting to stress her out more then she was. Bull kissed her then tucked her into bed with her bear. Fabio was in the bathroom taking a shower and would be out before she fell asleep.
That night was one for the books. The terror lasted almost an hour but this time she talked and yelled to someone. Telling them to back up. To get away. To not come closer. Fabio took mental notes of what she said. After it was over he washed her face and arms with a cool cloth then went back to bed.
The next morning Fabio pulled her aside and suggested that she see if she could make an appointment with Melody as soon as possible and then told her he was going with her. She was able to get one for later that afternoon. He filled Bull in on what he though was going on but would soon find out.
At Melody's office Grant took the recliner again and Fabio pulled over a bean bag chair to sit at her feet. Letting her know that he was close to touch.
"So whats going on? You did not tell me on the phone Samantha. How are you? You look tired."
"I don't really know honestly. My friend here asked me to make it. He just told me he had an idea as to what could be behind the night issues. I am tired. It feels like there taking a lot out of me. I have also lost my appetite honestly. I don't want to eat. I just don't feel like it." Grant told her being honest was the key to getting rid of the shit that was going on.
"OK Mr.?"
"Please call me Fabio. All my friends do and you think you can help Sam, then your my friend"
"If you say so Fabio. I will do my best to try to help her. Its seems that she has a lot of people who love her"
"Whats not to love. If I was not gay I would try to be with her. She is amazing. A great friend and fellow kinkster."
"ohh OK then. So whats going on"
"So I'm sleeping with Sam. That sounds bad but its not. The last three nights she has had the night terrors but last night was different. Previously she just screamed. Last night she said some things. I think she is having flashbacks in her sleep because last night she just didn't lash out like before. Last night the words were clear. Her eyes were open, she seemed to be looking at something. Not like the night before where her eyes went all over. She was stiff like she holding something. I think it was her gun. I know the stance well."
"OK can you tell me what she said, Sorry Samantha not trying to talk like your not here. Just need the info. Were getting somewhere I think. Your pal is smart." Grant smiled at the doctor and went back to rubbing Fabio's neck. Touching him calmed her.
"Yeah she was yelling step back, don't do it, please I'm begging you, there just kids, let them go. Please don't do this. Give them a chance. Then she went silent for a moment, her chin hit her chest and she muttered see you in hell cunt. This was towards the end of it. The beginning half was like normal. Then it was like she remember something."
"Wow. Samantha does that trigger a memory that you have?"
"yeah, one I wish I did not have."
"Can you tell me what happened"
"Yeah I guess. Remember there are things I cant say due to my career. My team and I were in a sand pit in the middle east and It was up to me to make sure no one came near my team as they did what they were needed to do. A woman dressed in black with a baby on her back and a toddler holding her hand came down the street. She would not listen to me when I told her to stop. It was apparent that she had a bomb strapped to her chest. I told her over and over to let them go. There were fucking babies. I took a shot to warn her. She got closer. I shot her arm that had the toddlers hand it it. She had no hand to lead the child closer to us. He fell back and started crying but she advanced. I had no choice but to take another shot. She was getting too close to my team. When I took the shot it made the bomb go off killing her and the baby. I made my team cover me as I ran towards the little boy not wanting him to get hurt. I picked him up and cuddled him to my chest and brought him back to the V. We took him to the base with us and I got my ass chewed and got shit jobs for a few months due to it but what ever. We ended up handing the boy over the elders of a nearby village. I pray for that little boy every day. I loved him more in the few hours that I had him with me then his mother ever did. She tried to kill him. It kills me that I could not save his sibling. Although every team member thinks what I did was right to take him with us, it was not right in the eyes of the corp. I took risks I did not need to according to them. Well according to me I did what was right and I would do it again. Every part of it by the book. By the training I received other then taking him with us. That part was from me. The part of me that knew I had to do something for him."
"You did right by him Samantha. Sounds like you had to make some hard choices while in the Marine Corp. I cant imagine. I think your friend is right about what's causing your terror's. I think you should start taking the medications. At least for the next few weeks. I know you told me you did not want to but hear me out. If your don't get sleep that's going to cause stress which is going to make them worse. I think we should also add a antidepressant. It sounds like you could use something to help with it. Not sleeping with my wife at night would bother me too. I can imagine it's taking its toll. How does that sound?"
"Wait wife?"
"yeah you caught that huh. Figured I would share that with you. Make you feel more comfortable. I don't judge relationships or people" Melody told her as she got up and picked up a picture off her desk handed it to Grant.
"Thank you. You both look happy and stunning. I like her suspenders. I need to know where she finds them. I hate manly ones. Your wife and I dress alike." Grant told her smiling.
"I got them for her for her when I found out she was pregnant with our son. I'll write down the site. They have amazing clothes for woman who want to wear something other then dresses. So are you OK with the medications short term?"
"Yeah I'm willing to try them. When do you think I will be able to sleep with them again?"
"Soon but don't push it. I will see you day after tomorrow. Are you OK with it just being us? I think you may feel more comfortable with answering some of the questions I have if no one else was around to hear the answers. We can bring who ever in if needed."