seventeen . . . casualties in the field
( january 27, 2150 — arkadia )
CULLEN WANDERED OVER to the rover, where she noticed the legs of Raven Reyes sticking out from underneath its metal build. There were tools cluttering the floor, and another creeper in sight for Cullen to snag and prep for her weight, before she slid underneath the rover beside Raven.
"What's up, Birdie?" Asked Cullen, eyes moving from where Raven's hands worked against the frame, to the girl herself. As always, there was a twisted look of concentration masking Raven's beautiful olive features, presenting her as the true mechanic that ruled over her heart. "Didn't you fix this thing a few days ago?"
"I'm just prepping it for today's run." Raven answered, gritting her teeth together as she tightened something with a wrench. Even after dividing her time between Medical, mechanics, and Guard training, Cullen still didn't understand what Raven was doing with her hands. Whatever it was, Cullen was sure Raven was doing it sufficiently, it just all seemed like jumble to her. "Why are you here?"
Cullen grinned. "Sound a bit more excited, why don't you?"
"You know what I mean, Ace." Said Raven, sparing Cullen a quick glance. The tough mechanic demeanour melted away, and was replaced with a look of genuine interest. "You never come in here."
"I was in here two days ago." Cullen remarked. "You were teaching me how to fix the door to mine and Monty's residence."
A look of remembrance passed by Raven's features, before she swiftly shook her head. "I mean, you don't come in here when Bellamy's in here."
Her mood dulled once again as a result of Raven's statement, because she found it to be completely true, but she didn't allow Raven to see that. "Kane thought it'd be a good idea for me to come out with you guys today. He said I need more time out in the field."
"Isn't that just Kane's way of making you actually deal with your problems?" Raven simpered, returning back to her work.
"Yeah." Cullen grumbled, and rotated her head so her eyes were looking up to the base of the rover. "I think he thinks if I spent more time with Bellamy, things will automatically be resolved between us."
"Someone better tell Kane that's not how forgiveness works." Said Raven.
Cullen fidgeted, her eyebrows drawing together. "I forgave Bellamy. You know I did."
Raven stopped, again, and narrowed her woodland colored eyes at her friend. "If you forgave him, why do I still want to stab myself with a screwdriver every time I'm with the two of you?"
The statement had Cullen clamping her lips together, a mixture of unresolved problems and awkwardness plaguing her stomach. Raven did have a point; like always, she seemed to know Cullen's problem before it was even there. She had told the Vander female on numerous occasions that if she had completely forgiven Bellamy for what he had done, their friendship wouldn't have turned into two strangers knowing a lot about each other in a somewhat anonymous fashion.
Cullen pulled a face. "You shouldn't say things like that, Raven. It's the reason why your only friend is Sinclair."
As Cullen rolled herself out from beneath the rover, Raven's sweet laughter followed her, making Cullen shake her head out of stubbornness — it seemed like that no matter how right Raven was, Cullen would deny her accusations in attempt to avoid ripping open the stitches she had used to mend her heart back together. She herself believed she had truly forgiven Bellamy; that everything that had happened between them had been placed in the past, to never be revisited again.
She frowned deeply as she stood from the creeper, bending over to pick it up and put it back in the place she had found it, before she moved to start clearing up Raven's mess of tools. There wasn't another mechanic in sight, and Cullen knew Raven enough by now to know the Reyes girl didn't always clean up after herself when making a mess. And, Cullen didn't mind being Raven's personal maid. At least not then, with Bellamy and Gina, a woman he had been dating for around two months now, fifteen feet away from her.
They were talking about something — something Cullen assumed to be private, considering how closely together they stood — so she made finding the hammer in her hand extremely interesting. She also made an attempt to focus her hearing on anything but their conversation; from the hushed sounds of Monty trying to get through to Jasper's drunk brain, to Raven's wrench working on the metal of the rover. Anything she could find was better than eavesdropping on Bellamy and Gina's conversation, until something Gina said caught Cullen's attention.
"Got you something, though." Gina said to Bellamy, quickly detaching herself from his arms. Cullen moved around the toolkit, and began unloading everything, before reloading it in a neater format. When Gina returned, Cullen could see out of the corner of her eye that she held something in her hand — something resembling the shape of a book. "You said your Mom used to read this to you. Thought you'd like it."
There was a pause on Bellamy's end, before he said, "I do. Thanks."
Giving in to her curiosity, Cullen glanced over to the couple, before her eyes dropped down to the book Bellamy now held in his hand. The Iliad, in its most familiarized beauty, was the book Gina had gifted Bellamy. The Iliad, a book Cullen hadn't gone a day of her life from the ages of ten to nineteen without thinking about, or reading, or reciting one of the passages to her family. The Iliad, which Cullen distinctly remembered was in the drawer of her bedside table when the events in Mount Weather went down.
It was strange how one object meant so much to Cullen — so much so she was willing to get defensive over the fact it practically belonged to her. However, she kept quiet, and quickly diverted her eyes away from Bellamy and Gina, and back down to the toolbox. She stacked each thing she had unloaded back into its newly organized frame, before planting her hands down on the bench she was standing behind.
She closed her eyes for several seconds, taking deep breaths, when the sound of a pair of boots walking in her direction started her back up again. It was Bellamy, a loaded bag over his shoulder, and The Iliad still presently in his hand.
Before she could stop herself, Cullen spoke, "How so many brave souls, sent to Hades, were lost. For due to a great love many heroes' lives were lost."
Bellamy stopped, hard eyes now strained solely on Cullen's face. "And so a fair city, once filled with joy. Was terribly destroyed, the once proud Troy."
Cullen smiled, and allowed her eyes to linger upon Bellamy's for a few more seconds, before she dropped them to the ground. She smiled again. "It's my favorite book. I was the only one in the entire mountain that seemed to read from the Mythology section." She loosened her tense frame, and dropped her hands from the bench. "Be careful with it. The spine's fragile, and some of the pages are tearing away. But I guess that's my fault — I read it so much it lived in my room with me."
"You can have it." Bellamy stepped forward, extending his arm to offer Cullen the book.
"I couldn't. Gina went searching through my bedroom to find that." Said Cullen, hoping desperately that there was no residue bitterness in her tone. "Besides, if you keep it, I'll always have someone to recite an ancient Greek epic poem with."
He nodded, stiffening the smile that curled against his lips. He dropped his arm back to his side, and walked the rest of the distance towards the rover, before saying, "So you know Greek and Roman Mythology?"
"I used to read it to my Mom. It was more interesting than everything else they had in the mountain." Said Cullen.
She watched as Bellamy lifted the bag from his shoulder, his mouth opening to reply as he dropped it onto the hood of the rover. It made a loud clattering sound, startling not only Cullen, but Raven, who was still underneath the vehicle needlessly tinkering with it's frame, too. Her loud call sharply killed Cullen and Bellamy's conversation, as she rolled out on her creeper.
"Hey! Take it easy."
"Good morning to you, too." Bellamy remarked, eyes landing on Cullen one more time, before he began unloading the bag. Out of curiosity, Cullen joined him by the hood, peering at what he had packed.
Guns — one for everyone, minus Jasper. They were all officially trained and legally allowed to use them, including Cullen, who accepted a new chamber of bullets from the Blake man, before he tossed Miller a gun as he walked by.
"What's the point if we can't shoot 'em?" Miller remarked, though went on to check that all of the gun's systems were working.
"We can, just not to kill. That goes for everyone." Bellamy glanced around, though Cullen didn't listen to his warning. She had yet to shoot her gun at something living, and didn't plan on doing so unless absolutely necessary. "Where's Octavia?"
"We're going outside the wall. You honestly think she'd miss that?" Miller rhetorically asked, before settling in beside Cullen.
Everyone was silent for a few seconds, checking their own weapons and ensuring they had everything they needed, before the blissfulness was disturbed by Monty throwing a bucket of cold water at Jasper's face. The impact startled Jasper, who had been leveling between consciousness and becoming of a somewhat sober mind, and made the boy emit a growl type noise.
"Sorry. Was that too cold?" Monty's voice was dripping in sarcasm, with not a bit of remorse for what he had done.
Jasper's scream rippled through the air as he took hold of Monty by the collar of his jacket, and turned them one-eighty degrees, forcefully slamming Monty's back into the front of the rover. Cullen winced alongside Monty, who visibly had the air knocked right out of his lungs due to Jasper's violent outburst, which was already being intercepted by Bellamy as the Jordan boy started stepping away from Monty. He seemed to have realized his mistake fairly quickly — Cullen would have never thought Jasper would get violent with somebody.
"No gun for you. Not till you're sober." Bellamy stated, firm authority in his voice.
"Don't want one." Jasper grumbled, mockingly saluting Bellamy, before driving his hand forward and slapping him upside the head. Cullen winced, again, and was roughly shouldered out of the way as Jasper moved past her and Miller to get into the passenger seat of the rover.
Several people sighed — Cullen being one of them. She had grown so used to Jasper's quarrelsome behavior, yet every time she witnessed it, it was like the beginning of it all over again. She had recognized it in herself that she had become something close to Jasper's personal punching bag, constantly taking hits from his emotional trauma for whatever reason she thought she deserved it. His words and blatant refusal to be anywhere near her didn't hurt Cullen all that much, but she made an effort to circle her shoulder, getting rid of the dull ache Jasper had inflicted onto her.
"Let's do this." Bellamy ordered, and everyone began moving again.
Cullen passed Monty at the front of the rover, and spared Bellamy a side glance as she made her way to Raven, nonchalantly helping the female into the vehicle. Raven would be the first person to refuse help, but after proving to Cullen on multiple occasions that it pained her hip the most whenever she had to get into the rover, the Reyes female allowed Cullen to help her.
No one made a big deal about it as Raven groaned her way into the driver's seat, before smiling gratefully down to Cullen as she closed the door. Cullen, who was unfortunate enough to witness the brief intimate moment shared between Bellamy and Gina, quickly hurried her way towards the back of the rover, where she climbed in in front of Monty, leaving the seat beside her vacant for Bellamy. He climbed in after her a few seconds later, and helped Miller pull close the doors.
Raven turned in her seat. "She's too good for you."
"Shut up." Bellamy replied, eyes flickering down to Cullen.
"Careful. Monty might melt her." Jasper's hostile voice spoke.
As Monty opened his mouth, Cullen said, "Enough, Jasper." In return, he scoffed.
"Raven, take us out." Bellamy concluded, and Raven nodded in admission. She twisted the keys that started the rover, making the engine roar to life. She flipped a switch, and the door in front of them slid open to reveal Octavia, sitting on top of her horse, Helios.
"Guess we found her." Miller laughed, and Cullen grinned alongside him. She couldn't think of a better place that suited Octavia more than when she was on her horse — she looked so noble, and although Cullen knew the truth, so natural. She blended in with the Grounder community perfectly.
"Try and keep up!" Octavia called, before galloping away on Helios. Raven was close behind her, starting to drive the rover down the dirt road to the gates of Arkadia. They were swiftly pulled open, and Raven suddenly had no limit to how fast she was able to drive.
They drove for a while, the rover following the quick gallops of Helios. Riding in the vehicle wasn't Cullen's favorite thing, as it was known to bounce along the dirt roads and plains of grass callously. She had learned not all vehicles were designed like the rover was — all other vehicles had been burned in the Nuclear Apocalypse ninety-eight years prior, and it was the sustainable design of the rover that kept it alive. Cullen supposed it was both a blessing, and a curse: without the rover, they'd have to walk everywhere, and that wasn't the most ideal situation. However, with the rover, Cullen shortly learned her motion sickness was very easy to trigger.
She clung tightly onto the handle that was situated on the back of the driver's seat, and shook her head at Miller, who always laughed whenever they rode together. She would have made a comment about his coy smile if it weren't for Jasper's singing sounding from the passenger seat.
"But the day, after today."
Monty reached around the head rest and tugged the white earphones from Jasper's ears. "No way. If you're gonna ride shotgun, you can't just disappear."
Jasper nodded, and removed the headphones from the iPod, only to reconnect it with the rover's system. His actions made Monty sigh, the Green boy going to snatch the device from Jasper's ownership when Bellamy caught his wrist from across Cullen's lap, and shook his head. Bellamy stated that it was a long ride to Sector seven, and that having the music playing wouldn't be the worst thing — especially with the silence that was damaging the atmosphere.
The tune to 'Add It Up' by Violent Femmes started blaring from the rover's speakers, seeming to instantly put everybody in a better mood. Cullen leaned back against her seat, eyes switching from where Miller was air drumming, to Raven nodding her head to the beat. A small smile perked up on her lips as a memory of the song replayed in her mind. It was from Maya's thirteenth birthday, when Julian and Vincent done out one of the common rooms for her party. Cullen, Maya, and their friend Janice had made up a dance to this song that night, and Cullen vaguely recalled the dance moves in her head as Jasper started singing.
"Why can't I get just one kiss? Why can't I get just one kiss? There may be some things that I wouldn't miss, but I look at your pants and I need a kiss." He looked across to Raven, and she grinned widely. "Why can't I get just one screw? Why can't I get just one screw? Believe me, I know what to do. But something won't let me make love to you." Miller reached across to Monty and pinched his bicep, resulting in blossoming smirks from both Cullen and Bellamy. "Day after day, I get angry and I will say that the day is in my sight when I'll take a bow and say goodnight."
Raven started driving faster, overtaking Octavia and Helios. "Don't shoot, shoot, shoot that thing at me. Don't shoot, shoot, shoot that thing at me." Jasper stood from the passenger seat, and started to climb his way into the back of the rover. Cullen tucked herself closer to Bellamy to give Jasper room, as the smile on her lips only grew larger. "You know you got my sympathy, but don't shoot, shoot, shoot that thing at me." Jasper's head was suddenly poking out of the moon roof, hollers of genuine joy shouting through the air.
The blissful moment could have continued if it weren't for the navigator on the dashboard beeping. Cullen's attention snapped towards it as Raven killed the music, and grabbed hold of the device.
"Tracking beacon from the Ark." Said Monty, before he hoisted himself into the empty passenger seat. Raven pulled the rover to a sufficient stop.
Jasper dropped back down into the rover, a small frown on his lips. His brown eyes were soft, and Cullen immediately looked away — his expression resembled the one that always softened Cullen's attitude towards him, and she didn't need that today. "Hey, that was the best part."
Bellamy ignored him. "Who is it?" He asked Monty, who was already typing away at the navigating system built into the rover.
"Farm Station." Monty revealed.
"What?" Miller's tone had dampened. "After—After four months? How?"
"We'll find out." Cullen assured, offering him a hopeful smile. She remembered Miller mentioning his boyfriend, Bryan. He was from Farm Station.
"Where are they?" Asked Bellamy.
The door at the back of the rover opened, revealing Octavia. "Don't tell me I missed the party."
"Sector eight." Said Monty.
Cullen's eyebrows drew together. "That's Ice Nation." She said, eyes flickering between the Blake siblings. "We weren't granted permission to go past seven."
"So?" Octavia asked.
"Protocol says we go home, let the Chancellor decide what to do next." Continued Raven.
"Screw protocol." The man beside Cullen declared, capturing her attention. He looked down to her, before across to Miller, and then to Monty. "The Chancellor's not from Farm Station. Monty is. So is Miller's boyfriend. It's your call."
"Let's do this." Monty agreed, and looked to Miller.
"Do you have to ask?" Miller smiled, hopeful eyes glancing to Cullen — everybody was looking to Cullen, who had the most authority out of all of them. She had been entrusted with Kane's personal radio, and she assumed that meant something to Bellamy's team of scouts, who awaited her permission? — Her word that she wouldn't rat them out?
"I'm not gonna stop you guys." Cullen assured, and looked over to Monty. "We're getting your family back."
Bellamy nodded, and passed his sister a teasing look. "Try to keep up." He mocked her words from earlier.
And they were driving again, following the navigator to where Farm Station was located. If they were in Ice Nation territory, Cullen didn't know how they were going to approach contact with them without testing the Commander's coalition, but she kept quiet. She knew how important it was for Monty to find his family, and Miller his boyfriend — and she'd give anything to either of her friends. To any of her friends, for that matter.
♥️
THEY WERE DRIVING for about six and half more hours before they reached a destination that was close enough to the beacon. Octavia had signalled for them to stop, and when Raven finally parked the rover, they all climbed out of the vehicle, eyes sharply looking around for Ice Nation warriors.
"These woods must be the border." Bellamy assumed.
"So where's all the ice?" Jasper asked from behind Cullen. She craned her neck to look at him, narrowing her eyes in slight annoyance at his question.
"Much further North." Octavia answered. "Azgeda stretches for a thousand miles."
"Good thing we only have to go two hundred meters." Monty informed, eyes focused on the navigator in his hand. Cullen walked beside him, her hand resting on the handgun attached to her hip.
"Slow down." Bellamy stuck an arm out, stopping the Green boy from walking further. "Remember, the rules of engagement are nonlethal force. Tight formation on my command. Raven, you stay in the rover."
Raven scoffed. "Yeah, right."
Bellamy's gaze immediately landed on Cullen.
"I got her." Cullen issued, unclipping her handgun and moving to stand beside the Reyes girl. Bellamy sent her a nod of approval, ignoring Raven's glowering glare; Cullen flashed her an apologetic smile. "Sorry, Birdie, gotta listen to the boss."
"We need every gun we've got." Octavia stated.
"They're coming." Monty informed, diverting everybody's attention to him. Cullen, out of consciousness, removed the safety from her gun, and gripped it comfortably in her hands. "Hundred and twenty meters. One-ten."
Sounds of approaching footsteps perked Cullen's ears, unfamiliar words making her gun raise into the air; Bellamy followed in suit.
"They're our people. What are you doing?" Monty hissed.
"We hope they're our people." Bellamy's voice was gruff, and unwilling to debate.
"They weren't speaking English." Cullen informed, eyes wildly scouting the woods in front of her.
Octavia removed her sword from its holder on her back, Cullen and Raven spread out to the left, while Miller took the right. Bellamy stood centered, Jasper close behind him, and everyone watched as three warriors appeared on white horses, spiking everybody's defenses.
"Ice Nation?" Bellamy asked his sister.
"Yes." Octavia said, dread in her voice. "White war paint."
The warriors came to a stop fifty feet from them, clad in layers of armor and white face paint, making them look even more terrifying than the Grounders Cullen had previously encountered.
"Stay calm." Octavia instructed as she slipped her sword back into its holder, and raised her hands in surrender. She slowly approached the warriors.
"Chon yu bilaik?" (Who are you?) The front warrior questioned Octavia.
"Skaikru. Lufa au oso kru." (Looking for our people.) Octavia answered.
Another warrior shook his head. "Lufa au Wanheda." (Looking for Wanheda.)
The first warrior that spoke climbed calmly from their horse, and Octavia angled her chin towards Bellamy. "They think we're looking for Wanheda."
"Who's that?" Bellamy asked the question everybody was thinking.
"I don't know." Octavia responded through clenched teeth.
"The light. That's the beacon." Said Monty, and Cullen dragged her eyes down to the warriors hip. There was a bright red light, something Cullen was sure didn't come with their loaded black armor, and it made her tighten her grip on her gun.
Jasper stalked past Bellamy, and Octavia, and made a direct b-line for the warrior that carried Farm Station's beacon. The two warriors that still mounted their horses raised their loaded bows, enabling Cullen and Miller to raise their guns.
"Hey, get back here." Bellamy ordered.
"Jasper, what are you—" Monty started.
"Jasper!" Cullen snapped, eyes following the boy as Octavia reached out to catch hold of his sleeve.
He dodged her grip, and continued to stagger forwards. "It's ok. I got this."
"Tell them we observe the Commander's truce." Bellamy ordered his sister. "Do it now."
"Oso observe Heda's ginteik." (We observe the Commander's truce.) Octavia announced as Jasper stopped in front of the warrior.
He snatched the beacon from the warrior's chains, and daringly looked up to him. The warrior towered over the boy, who didn't seem to shrink back out of threat like a normal person would have — no, Jasper simply hardened his shoulders and straightened his back, as though opposing a threat on the warrior. Cullen gritted her teeth together, focusing the aim of her gun in the center of the warriors forehead.
"This belongs to us." Said Jasper, before turning to leave. The warrior roughly grabbed at the back of Jasper's t-shirt and pulled him against his chest, presenting a knife to his throat — the action raised Bellamy, Monty, and Raven's guns.
"Where ste Wanheda? Yu na nou buk au." (Where is Wanheda? You can not run.)
"Let em gyon au." (Let him go.) Bellamy ordered.
"Oso dula op nou get in chon Wanheda ste!" (We don't know who Wanheda is!) Cullen excused in an estranged voice.
"Beja, oso na help choda." (Please, we can help each other.) Octavia pleaded, before the unimaginable happened.
Jasper began smiling. With a knife pressed to his throat, his life in the hands of a person who saw them as the enemy, Jasper began smiling out of amusement, and Cullen lowered her weapon. Her attention was solely focused on Jasper now, her lips parting as the oxygen was sucked from her lungs — how does someone comprehend this situation? Jasper was smiling; on the verge of laughter; and all Cullen was able to do was gap unknowingly at him. She knew it was one thing to drink himself into oblivion every day, but to smile when his life was being threatened?
"Yu fig raun dison laik leyos?" (You think this is funny?) The warrior demanded, only for Jasper's smile to blossom further. Even when his knife began slicing in the flesh of his throat, Jasper continued to smile, terrorizing Cullen further. She didn't even flinch when Bellamy shot the warrior, and then Raven after him, and Miller after her. All she could see was Jasper's inhumane grin.
"Hold your fire!" Bellamy ordered as the warrior that he had shot began to stand up from the ground. He wielded his knife, and had his eyes set on Jasper, who stood motionlessly, one hand pressed firmly against his wound.
"Jasper get down." Octavia warned, and Jasper did as such. She emitted an aggravated sound as she launched her sword into the chest of the warrior, sending him crippling down to the ground, red blood leaking past his lips.
Cullen, who seemed to become completely senseless to the situation, watched as the warrior continued to bleed out. She only realized her mind wasn't present when Bellamy's chest knocked into her arm, his hand curling around her hip to wrench the radio she carried from her equipment belt.
"Come in. Repeat, Cullen, come in now." Kane's voice sounded through the radio that Bellamy was now addressing as he walked back to the rover.
"I had him." Jasper said to Octavia, who was checking over the now dead warriors.
"What the hell were you thinking?" Miller demanded.
"We got the beacon, didn't we?" Jasper remarked. Cullen blinked across to him before her eyes caught Octavia's, the girl silently beckoning for Cullen to help take Jasper to the rover.
She moved towards them, tucking her handgun into its holder before looping Jasper's arm around her shoulder. She and Octavia walked in sync to the front of the rover, where they propped Jasper up against its frame.
"We had to shoot three Ice Nation scouts." Bellamy said into the radio. "Covert, Sector four. Copy. Can you tell me what's going on?"
"When you get here. Over and out." Were Kane's final words over the radio.
Cullen's mind tracked back to Sector four on the map she was analyzing earlier that day, but nothing of significance came to her. She turned to Bellamy, who was already looking to her for answers. "There's nothing in Sector four. The only reason Kane would be there is if somebody asked him to be."
Bellamy didn't bother to respond before he was storming around the rover, eyes focused on Jasper. "Take him home." His rough voice commanded.
"I'm fine. Thank you for asking." Jasper sarcastically remarked.
"Shut up." Cullen hissed disapprovingly.
"Miller, get one of their horses. Raven, since you can't ride, you're on the back. Cullen, Monty, you're with me. Let's go." Orders fell from Bellamy's lips as though he was a natural at giving them. If Cullen wasn't so focused on her temperament towards Jasper, she would've admired the Blake man for the amount of authority he held in his tone.
They were moving again, Cullen passing Raven one last look before she climbed into the back of the rover, slamming the doors behind herself.