Dark Mind has oficially hit 1k! Holy shit, thank you guys so much. Never in a million years would I have imagined that this book would get this much attention.
These past few days, and week in general, have been very tough not gonna lie. So many stuff has been happening, and I've been trying to be positive but life doesn't seem let me. And it royally sucks, to feel like everything is spiraling out of control and I'm helpless, I can't do anything about it. When I saw this yesterday, I think it was the first time in a while that I actually felt myself geniunly smile, and not just fake one. I consider this a reminder, that even if the sun doesn't shine today, it will shine tomorrow. And if not tomorrow, at some point it will happen. To all that are struggling like me, let this be your reminder.
From the bottom of my heart, thank you. This small detail means a lot to me and the support I have received from day one continues to shock me.
This chapter is one of my favorites, and is very special to me due to the meaning. I hope y'all like it.
-Ali
Edited
Tyler pov
I coudint stop thinking about the lady from the cemetery as I touched the silver wings that hanged around my neck and held J's hand for dear life. The old woman, my mothers look alike, told me to have faith, but I could not stop thinking in the what ifs. I felt like I was drowning, so many thoughts and emotions.
Maddy came back, with Sebastian. I went from sad to mad in a second. I almost punched him in the face had Madelane not interfered. She shot me an angry look and went to sit on the couch. I coudint help but scoff.
"What was that?" She asked.
"You know, I don't understand you. One minute, you're literally a mess because of what this asshole did to you and the next you're all cozy with him?! What the actual hell Madeline?!" I said turning so I could face her, my voice raised. I let go of J's hand and stood, my arms crossed over my chest.
"Watch you're mouth, Parker." Sebastian growled as he tried to put his arm around Maddy but she shook him off.
"Fuck off Sebastian. Nobody gives two shits about what you have to say." I growled back, my anger rising.
"It is none of you're damn business, Tyler. So stand the fuck down." She seethed at me.
"Like hell it ain't. I had to helped you get through what this asshole did to you. So why does he get a second chance but I dont?!" I shot back and in a flash she was in front of me.
"What about you this morning? Why do you care when I mean absolutely nothing to you? Having second thoughts huh?! Well good! Because I will always remind you of what an asshole you are." She spat, fury in her eyes, pointing a finger at me.
"Tyler back the hell off before I kick you're ass." Sebastian stood too and pushed Madelane behind him.
"Fuck off Sebastian, don't go confusing yourself as to where you stand." Madelane tried to push him but he violently shook her off and she fell to the ground.
"You're fucked up Madeline. After you bring him inside and all, you have the nerve to tell him 'dont go confusing yourself'?! You both deserve each other, fucking hypocrites." I said and suddenly Sebastian took a swing at me, taking me completely off guard and landing a solid punch on my face. I was about to punch his smug ass face back wen we heard someone shout.
"Enough!" A voice called from the door and we all looked to see Aunt G. She looked tired, and disappointed.
"What has gotten into all of you? Do you even realize what you're doing?" She asked us. Nobody said anything.
She looked at Sebastian. "I think its best if you wait outside." She told him and without a word he left. Madelane was about to go after him, but Aunt G wasn't having it.
"Sit down Madelane." She told her in a hard voice. I swear I saw her shrink and then she reluctantly slumped on the couch.
Aunt G made her way towards me, inspecting my face. I felt something warm on my lip, no doubt blood. When she went to touch it, I flinched away.
"And where have you been all day?" She demanded.
"Nowhere important." I murmured as I sat next to J's bed, turning my back on both of them.
"I cannot believe all of you would stoop so low. Have you no respect? Fighting in front of my niece? Tell me, are you're problems more important than her life? If these were her last moments, if she were to die any second, would you all keep acting like children? Both of you, take you're problems outside because I will not tolerate this from either of you. You're both behaving like spoiled, little brats." She scolded at us, standing in between us with her arms crossed.
"Tyler-"
"Madelane, how is it that you talk with Sebastian and somewhat resolve you're problem with him, but when Tyler tries to you shut him up?"
"After what he did to me, he does not have the right to even direct a word in my way." She said coldly.
"You said the same about Sebastian. I suggest you act your age Madelane Stacy." Aunt G matched her coldness and I'm pretty sure Maddy flinched.
"And you, look at me when I'm talking to you!" Reluctantly, I stood and turned around to face her. "Jealousy will get you nowhere. Throwing a tantrum when life does not go the way you want it to will not solve anything, Tyler. Do you know how worried I have been? What if something had happened to you?" She told me, her eyes flashing with concern.
I lowered my head. "I'm sorry. Today is not the nicest of days for me." I mumbled.
"Like you're the only one who has it hard." Madelane mumbled.
Something inside of me snapped and I looked at her. "Madelane, don't talk without knowing what the hell is going on. Because if you did know, you woudint be treating me like shit right now. Yes, what I did was wrong, stupid and you can call me a monster all you want for it. If you want to compare me with my father then go ahead, because a year ago, on this day, he pushed the bottle of pills into my mothers hands and she downed every single last one of them. A year ago today, she left ogerdossed without giving two shits that she was leaving me behind. Ever since then, nobody has truly cared about me until Juniper showed up, until you showed up, until Sebastian and Aunt G came along. I dont want to loose that love, but I cannot handle someone being genuinely worried or interested in me. Its no excuse I know, but all I'm asking is that you try and see it from my point of view. I'm sorry, okay? I'm fucking sorry. So shut the hell up and let me fucking be as I am!" I said in a rush as the tears fell down, and my voice cracked.
I purposely fell down, my legs not being able to hold me any longer. Aunt G was by my side in an instant, comforting me.
"I just want to be a good guy, with a good life, I want to be strong. But lately my emotions have been making me weak." I managed to say, wiping my face angrily.
" You are not weak, Tyler. You are by far the strongest person I know. To have whistood all those years of pain, and be who you are today, it takes a lot." Aunt G told me as she helped me up.
"Breath in and out slowly, softly, everything is going to be okay. We are here, we won't leave you or let you leave us, you will not be alone ever again." Her soothing voice said as she rubbed my back while I breathed in and out.
"You really love my niece don't you?" She asked me with a warm smile once I had calm down.
"More than anything. She taught me how to love again, you all did actually." I looked at Maddy, who haddent uttered a word.
"I'm sorry I hurt you, I'm sorry I said I didn't care about you. That was bullshit. Since as long as I can remember, you've been there for me. You're important in my life, Maddy. You're love helps me heal, just like Juniper's love, and Aunt G's, hell even that boneheaded boyfriend of yours." At this she laughed a bit and a few tears came out.
"Can you forgive me?" I asked with uncertainty.
She shook her head and came towards me, throwing her arms around me and squeezing me tight. "No, its me who has to apologize. I forgot what today meant for you, and instead I made it all about me. I'm such a horrible friend, I'm so so sorry Ty. I never meant- I didn't mean- I should have-"
"Its okay, its okay, I know." I assured her as I hugged her tight. Madelane was, and forever will be, the little sister my parents never had but life decided to give me anyways.
"I love you. The only reason I was hurt is because of that. I was angry, but the truth is that there is nothing you can say will erase the fact that I care about you immensely." She told me, her voice slightly muffled.
"I love you too Mads, always will." I murmured back at my best friend.
"See? Now that wasn't so hard was it? About time you both came to you're senses." Aunt G looked pleased with herself as we all laughed lightly and sat on the couch.
"Madeline, about Sebastian, I know it isin't my business but..." I trailed off and she took my hand in hers.
"You can tell me, I won't be mad." She said as she squeezed my hand.
"Are you sure you want to get back together with him?" I asked, cautious.
She sighed. "He told me what happened, that he was drugged and didn't know what he was doing or thinking. He couldint think straight, therefore he coudint speak properly. But I'm just torn, I don't want to let him go but it feels wrong letting him in."
"You love him, its normal. You just have to let yourself actually feel that love. Don't reject it or deny it, embrace it. Listen to you're heart, not you're doupts, or fears, or insecurities." Aunt G placed a hand on her heart, smiling sweetly at her.
"Listen to my heart huh?" She asked.
"You can never go wrong with that." Then she stood. "I'm going to bring our boy over, k? Hopefully he's calmed down by now." She winked and left the room.
Mads and I were silent for a moment.
"What is you're heart telling you, Maddy?"
She sighed. "He's a good guy. What happened was something he regrets, because he ended up hurting me. My heart is telling me... to forgive him, because he would never purposely put me in harms way." She looked at me. "Does that sound silly?"
I laughed and kissed the top of her head. "Not at all sis, not one bit."
She laughed softly. "I'm glad were back to this." She said with a small smile.
"I am too." I said honestly.
"And Ty, you're mom is beyond proud of you, and even if you don't feel her, she is always, always watching over you."
I was about to respond when the monitor started beeping like crazy. We looked and saw Juniper convulsing, just like last time. She was having a seizure!
"She's coming back!" Madelane exclaimed.
As soon as the words left Madeline's mouth, all the lines on the monitor went flat. The prolonged beep, the one that signals the patience death, rang through my ears.
No...
The atmosphere changed and I felt the panic, the desperation sink in. One minute it was just us, the next Maddy was screaming and a bunch of nurses swarmed the room.
"HELP! SOMEBODY HELP!" Madelane screamed down the hallway while I just stood there staring at Juniper's convulsing body, at the flat lines on the monitor.
"Sir, I have to ask you to leave, now!" A nurse snapped me out of my shock state.
"JUNIPER! NO JUNIPER, PLEASE!" Madelane was screaming as the paramedics pushed her out.
"She's not receiving oxygen, her heart is slowing down!" A nurse said as they all rushed around Juniper, trying to push her body down, and checking all the machines she was hooked on.
"Bring the defibrillator and charge it to-" I didn't get to hear any more as I was pushed out the room.
"Save her." I heard myself say as the door was shut in my face.
"What's going on?!" Aunt G came rushing to our side, with Sebastian right behind her. Sebastian rushed to Maddy's side and engulfed her in a hug as she kept crying and held onto him for dear life. I glanced at Aunt G's eyes and saw that they held so much fear.
I didn't respond, coudin't respond. How the hell was I supposed to tell her that J was- I coudint even bring myself to.
"No." She said, and for the first time since I met her, I saw the woman go chalk white and begin to weep.
"She started convulsing, sh-she was having a seizure and.... I'm- I'm so sorry Gloria." I managed to say.
Madelane threw her arms around Aunt G's still figure. Gloria slowly returned her. Madeline sobbed as Aunt G stroked her hair. She was crying too, her eyes shut, her face tight with pain. The two woman's held each other tightly, both feeling the same pain and fear.
I'm pretty sure my face displayed the uneasiness, how 'unwell' I was feeling, although unwell was far from the it.
Then Sebastian was there, beside me. Wordlessly, he gave me a bro hug, using more force than was necessary. But I didn't mind, I in fact needed it.
"My girl's dying." I managed to choke out as the silent tears kept on coming. The whole thing was unberable, I can't describe you exactly what was going on other than the fact I thought I was dying, or about to faint, or both. Like something was detaching itself from me, and it hurt so much.
"She's gonna be fine man, your girl's a fighter, and she won't go down without a fight." He said in a gruff voice.
"I'm right here man, I'm not leaving, I'm right here bro." He added. Any other day, we would have laughed at how cheesy and how clingy we were being. Sebastian and I were never like that. But in that moment, I was just glad to have him, to have a brother.
And just like that, my world- although it felt like it was falling apart- it somehow felt less lonely.
•○●•○●•●○•●○•
Juniper POV
After the blast, it felt like I was in deep sleep. The sound of water running is what brought me back to my senses. My eyelids felt heavy as I opened them and shielded them from the unexpected illuminated scenario. When my eyes adjusted to my surroundings, I almost gasped.
It was a lake, the lake.
I stood up slowly, my bare feet touching the soft grass. This place... held so many memories. Now that I actually remember what happened here ten years ago, I didn't know how to react. I felt so sad, so torn. The wind picked up and ruffled my hair. Then something yellow caught my eye, and I looked down at myself to see I was wearing a yellow sundress, the same one I wore when the cops interrogated me after JJ's death.
Pain shot through my head, making me hiss and close my eyes tight as the memories rushed at me like a blow of water (the irony, I later thought). JJ and me in the water, me on the shore watching him, the wave coming and taking him full force, his arms waving up and down for help, his panicked pained expression morphing into a sneer, his blue eyes going to black-
I gasped and opened my eyes, my arm reaching out to grab him, to save him...
"Jason..." I whispered as I began to shake, to tremble. Tears started blinding my eyes and pouring down my face as the grief engulfed me like a second skin. The only relief was the weren't bloody, they were clear, transparent.
My brother was gone, and I wasn't going to see him again.
"No.." I whispered.
Something pulled me to the very edge of the lake, where I sank to my knees as I started seeing the silouetes of people in the water, weeping silently. Then, as I were in my dream, I saw myself in the water. I saw my six year old self splashing at my Jason. He looked so young, so carefree, so happy. It broke my heart. I faintly heard splashes, my laughter and Jason's. My heavy sobs echoed around me and I hugged myself tightly.
"Jason, I'm so sorry." I whimpered as my tears fell in the lake, creating circles in the water.
I felt a hand touch my shoulder and I took my time in opening my eyes. And when I did, when I saw the reflection of the person beside me, I quickly lifted my head up and... there he was. I touched the side of his face, not believing my eyes. He gave me a dashing smile and leaned into my touch.
He wore a white buttoned up shirt, baby blue shorts and some sandals. Thanks to having my memory's back, I recalled this was the outfit he wore on June 25th.
He had a smile on his face, not a sly one but a genuine smile that reminded me of how he used to be, when other Jason wasn't around or in control. His blonde hair was falling over his face slightly and it reminded me of how I used to always push it back, claiming I wanted to see his eyes. When I looked at his eyes, they were full, sparkly, baby blue. They held so much happiness, but most of all, love.
He stroked my cheek and brushed my tears away. "Don't cry Krissy, you know how much it pains me to see you suffer." His voice snapped me out of it. He was real, he was here.
"JJ!" I cried and threw myself in his arms. I coudint hold my emotions toguether, coudint hold myself together.
"Shhhh, its okay sweetheart. Everything is going to be okay, my little girl, my beautiful Krissy. I've missed you so much." He murmured in my ear softly as I kept crying.
"Jason I'm so sorry! This is all my fault, if it weren't for me you would still be alive, living you're life, doing what you wanted to do when you grew up. I took that away from you, I'm so sorry JJ, I- I'll never forgi-give myself for this." I said between cries, feeling horrible, so disgusted in myself.
"What are you saying!? Krissy, Juniper look at me!" He exclaimed and forced me to look at him.
"Did you wish or cause you're disorder?" He asked.
"N-No but-"
"Did you magically send that blow of water my way?" He fired again.
"No b-but Jason-"
"Did you ask for mom and dad to medicate you? Did you know what was really going on? Were you aware of what was happening?"
I dropped my gaze to the ground. "No, I did not." I answerd, my voice low and quiet.
"Juniper, my death was not you're fault. No matter how bad you want to pin the blame on yourself, you cannot control everything. You didn't kill me Krissy, you coudint have had done something like that. Your filled with compassion, your heart is far too kind. And these" he held my hands tightly in his "these are not the hands of a murderer, of hateful person. These are my sisters hands, ones that would never do any harm to anyone no matter how bad they deserve it." He said softly as he held me tightly against him.
I clung to him, not wanting to be separated from my brother.
"I could have s-saved you. I could have called mom and dad, they could have done something." I whispered.
"The blow took me away, it would have dragged whoever got in too." He murmured and stroked my hair.
"Its not you're fault." He said to me and that's when the pieces clicked.
Jason was right, for so long I have wanted to blame someone for his death and the easiest target was myself. Because I was the one with him the moment the current dragged him under. But there was indeed nothing we could have done. The blow came too hard, too strong, and even if I had told my parents, JJ would have been long gone by then.
"It wasn't my fault." I murmured.
Jason laughed, the sound close to a melody, one that I would have on repeat forever.
"That's what I've been trying to tell you, dummy."
We were quiet for a few moments, the sound of nature being a comfort. I pulled away from him momentarily, looking at the water, my brain racing with thought after thought.
"Why? Why didn't you say anything? You could have told me, I could have adjusted, I would have understood. Jason, if you had talked about this with someone other than Dr. Glass, or if he had taken your case more seriously-"
"Juniper." He said and I looked up at him. He opened his arms and I snuggled into him once again, placing my head on his chest and my legs on his lap while he put his arm around me. He took my hand in his and I took a moment to enjoy how close he was.
"I spent a week in the institution, the one you were in. Dark Jason, he took over the whole time. Everyone thought I was doing so well, but inside I was screaming for them to help me, to free me. But it never happened. And once I regained control, he had already threatened to murder Dr. Glass, murder you. Dr. Glass and I could not take that risk." He explained softly.
"You could have done something! Its the law, you could have been in an asylum, they would have cured you-"
"You woudint be alive, Krissy. I- He could have killed you, and I would have never forgiven myself. Believe me when I tell you we tried everything, and the outcome never changed." He said as he pulled me impossibly closer to him.
We were quiet for a moment.
"What happened, after the current dragged you away?" I asked tentatively in a small voice.
He didn't answer immediately but when he did, his voice was full of despair.
"When I tried to cross the border, to go to that big blue paradise in the sky, it was like a barrier stopped me. I tried for what seemed like years, I even tried to go to hell, but nothing. My spirit stayed in this world. Slowly and unnoticeable, Dark Jason tugged at the corners of my mind, fed off my desperation until I lost control, and he took the reins. I was stuck for years, trying to fight him but I grew weaker and weaker. All I could do was watch as you suffered, all because I wasn't strong enough. "
I hugged him tighter, squeezing his hand.
"Some things are just beyond our control. The past already happened, and what matters is that your here, your free. I'm lucky I even get to be with you right now." I said.
"I'm free, because of you. You didin't give up on me, after everything I put you through. Why?"
I looked up at him and tried to give him a smile.
"Because I love you, because I saw the good within you behind all that darkness. Because at some point, I saw my brother, the one who cared, the one who loved me. I saw glimpses of that guy and I wanted to help him. I knew you were fighting, I had to try and do something about it."
"Even if you destroyed yourself in the process?" He asked.
"Yes. Your my brother, I would give anything for your happiness. I would give my life just so you could have yours back without even thinking twice about it." I said honestly, the words feeling so accurate and right.
"You would give your life, for a monster like me?" He asked me.
"No, I would give my life for my brother. Jason, deep down were all monsters. We've all done shit that makes us bad people. But we learn from our screw ups, we become better because of them, they don't define who we are." I told him.
"You know, you should follow your own advice. Follow your voice, trust your own advice, just like I trust you." He said with a light chuckle.
"I'll try." I said sniffling.
"I missed this, being and talking with you." I admitted after a moment.
"I missed you, seeing you happy, being able to hold you while I feel nothing but endless love, no hate, just love." He kissed the side of my face. "I'm happy I got to be with you before you go."
"What?" I aked, my head popping up.
He suddenly sighed. "Pretty girl, you have to go back. "
I shook my head. "No." I said in a final voice.
"Krissy, this is not up for discussion. You have to go." He repeated and I shook my head rapidly.
"No! I'm not leaving you, I just got you back!" I said desperately, the thought of leaving JJ tearing me apart.
"You've always had me, and you always will. But the real world needs you, darling." He said as he tried to calm me down.
I pulled back to stare at him and spoke as if he hadn't talked.
"I won't ever see you again. It hurts JJ, it pains me not to see you ever again." I said desperately with tears in my eyes.
"Krissy, remember when I told you that one day I would have to leave you? Well, that day is today. Little sister, I will always be with you-"
"No! Please don't! I can't loose you again! Jason, I just can't!" I cried as I hugged him tight once more.
"Darling, it's okay. It's okay." He soothed.
I shook my head violently. "No! It's not okay! It wont- wont ever be okay anymore! Your gone Jason, your dead!" I sobbed.
"Everything is going to be okay, I promise." He murmured as he stroked my hair.
I pulled away to look at him, admiring his facial features, dazzled by those eyes and that smile that I missed so damn much.
"Let me stay with you, take me with you. I'm as good as dead. I've been in a comma for two month's, and I've heard the doctors saying that the odds are not in my favor-" I started to ramble but Jason cut me off, caressing my cheek.
"You know I can't do that." He whisperd with a sad smile.
"Why?" I asked.
"My time is up, yours is not. You have a whole life ahead of you, so many things to do, see and experience. You have people waiting for you, Aunt G, your best friend, that boy who loves you immensely. There are so many things left for you, a long journey which you have yet to begin."
"But you won't be there to see it, its not fair." I whispered.
"Life is not fair, Krissy. It is often harsh, cruel, and maddening. People come and go, its our cycle, the way the world works. Our mothers give birth to us, watch us grow and spread our wings, then we fly so high that we know nothing but happiness. And then we fall, and die. We all find comfort in knowing that we lived enough, saw enough, experienced and did enough in our lifetime. We find comfort in the fact that although we are leaving the people we love, we will see each other again, and in the meantime we will watch over them, protect them." He said to me softly as my cries turned into hiccups.
"How will I know your there? I won't see you, or hear your annoying voice." I said and this made him laugh a little.
"I will be with you, every single day, follow you to the ends of the earth if I have to, but you will never be alone. You will always have me, and even though you won't see or hear me-" he placed my hand on his chest and I could feel the steady beating of his heart, which was ironic since he was, well you know. "- my love for you, which is something I could never explain or put into words, it will always make itself known and felt." he said, and his eyes seemed to glow with care. I nodded, knowing I had no choice but to agree. Deep down, I knew JJ was right.
He pushed me away gently and stood, lifting me up while holding my hand. He smiled in awe and gave me a twirl.
"Look at you, all grown up, a little woman. You are everything I expected you to be and more. I could not be prouder." He said and I managed to smile.
"You're fierceless, noble, smart, selfless, brave and strong, not even Dark Jason could make you flinch. You made him flinch, you killed him and gave me my peace, something I will always be grateful for." He then lowered his head.
"I'm so sorry, for everything I did to you. I hurt you, I almost killed you." He bowed his head a little, his shoulders sagging.
I shook my head. I took his face in both my hands and forced him to look at me.
"JJ, that wasn't you. That was the other you-"
"But the only reason he became something in the first place was because of me, because of the hate I harbored against you." He concluded, his blue eyes momentarily losing there shine.
"Honestly, I would have hated me too. Besides, it was because you repressed the hate that it came out that way, morphed into something else. Its not you're fault." I said softly.
His eyes twinkled. "You are so hypocrite."
I pouted. "Am not."
He just laughed and pulled me in for a hug.
" You're the light to my darkness, little sister, and you forever hold a piece of my heart with you. You will never be alone, I am always with you, just look for me in you're heart, in our past, and in you're mind. You are my everything and no matter where I am, that will never change. I love you, my sweet little girl, my darling Krissy. I always will." He said softly in my ear.
"I love you too JJ, so much. Your the reason my heart beats, you made me the strongest version of myself I could ever be. My mind will always remember the moments we were toguether, and my heart will always recognize your love, and who you really are. Thank you for everything."
"Darling, it is I who must thank you. I owe you, big time." He teased and I laughed lightly.
In the distance, I heard commotion. People talking all at once, a persistent beep, cry's and screams.
Jason gave me a knowing look.
"You have to let me go." He said.
"I don't know how." I whispered.
He just smiled. We sat on the edge of the lake, me in his arms as he sang to me.
As his voice surrounded us, and the sound of the river flowing consumed me, eyelids grew heavy, and the commotion outside of my body became louder. But I blocked it off, focusing on my brother, my blood, my heart, the guy who's love saved my life.
"And now I'm closin' every door
'Cause I'm sick of wantin' more
You were good to me
You were good to me, yeah
Swear I'm different than before
I won't hurt you anymore
'Cause you were good to me." his voice turned into an echo as I fell asleep with his lullaby, his love, and the water running.
▪■▪■▪■▪■▪■▪
I woke up with a start, gasping for air that I coudint quite have, my chest feeling tingly. I began adjusting to my surroundings. I was in a hospital gown, in a grey room, with a bunch of machines behind me being checked by the nurses. Wait, why was I in the hospital? What happened? I heard sobs outside of my door, and my heart sped up as I recognized the voices. I opened my mouth to shout at them, tell them I was okay, but it came out as a wheeze. I tried to breath, but there was something poking at my throat. Wen I tried to tug it off, a doctor stopped me.
"Juniper, everything's okay. My name is Dr. Alvarez, you just woke up from the comma you were in. You are connected to several machines, and that tube is helping you breath." A man that looked like a French painter explained to me as the nurses rushed around my room.
I kept looking at the door, hearing Maddy's cries, Aunt G's whispers. Dr. Alvarez game me a sympathetic look. "They will not be able to see you until you are out of intensive care. But I will notify them that you are okay, you have my word." I nodded slightly.
I was about to try and talk when he gently pushed me down. "Were going to do a few tests on you, okay? And the sooner we do, the sooner we can get that pipe out of you. Deal?" He said and I nodded my head so quickly I got dizzy.
~•~•~•~•~•~•
I stayed in intensive care for almost a week while they preformed test after test to see if everything was okay. All of them came back clear, positive and good. Then I was sent back to the hospital, to complete my treatment. I was able to say goodbye to Aunt G, since everyone else had left because Gloria forced them to rest. I remember how hard she squeezed me, how brilliant her smile was, how happy she looked.
I spent five days at the institution, and I actually enjoyed it. I was constantly watched because, hello I had just gotten out of a comma. Anyways, I talked with everyone, went to therapy, did exercise, played boardgames nonstop, laughed with all my new friends and at the end of the day talked with Madelane, Tyler and Aunt G. Over every call, Ty and Mads would argue about who got to talk to me first and I coudint help but laugh. The hospital was okay, but I missed them so much.
Annabelle left a day before I did, and on the day my mother came to visit me. Apparently, my therapist had suggested it, called it "passing the page". Claire looked horrible, to say the least. She looked tired, worn down and beaten. She told me she hadn't come to fight, she was just glad I was okay. She apologized, for everything she did to me, for all the psychological trauma I experienced because of her actions and ignorance. I just stood there taking it all in, shocked to my very core. I didn't say anything, not like she would let me talk, but beause I didn't feel like I had anything to say to the woman who gave birth to me. Claire stopped being my mother once she turned her back on me.
I'm sorry I wasn't the mother you deseverd, the one you wanted. I will spend the rest of my life amending all the damage I have done to you. I wish you the best, and I hope someday you will find it in you're heart to forgive me.
Those were her last words, and then she was gone. That was the last time I heard or ever saw Claire Thompson.
As the days went on, I kept remembering bits and pieces of when I was in a comma. I would sit on a chair, next to the window, and just remember Jason, and the last moment I spent with him on the lake. I sent a silent thank you to the being responsible for that little gift.
In those four days, I didn't hear any voices, or see any shadows. It felt weird at first, because everything was to quite and I expected the worst was yet to come, but after a while I quickly adjusted. And when I went to sleep, I slept soundly and peacefully.
I often thought of Jason, and it made me a little sad. But then I would go through our memories toguether, the ones where he smiled and laughed, and it helped me heal a little. The feeling of sadness never lasted long, and it was replaced with gratitude, happiness and love, nothing more and nothing less.
I knew he was around, he promised. Wherever I went, I felt his happiness, his joy, his love. Its something I can't really describe. I just know that, looking back at it, he went through the whole process with me, silently giving me his comfort and support.
So, back to the present, today I was finally being discharged. I was finally seeing my family again.
After I packed my stuff in my duffel bag, I went and changed out of my pajamas and into my army pattern sweats, a t-shirt, and my combat boots. I brushed my curls, leaving them flowing down my back freely. When I came out having packed my bathroom necesities, my roomate was sitting on her bed reading a book.
As I packed my stuff and zipped up my bag, I sat on my neatly made bed tying my shoelaces.
"Well what do ya know? Bitch here is going to boot camp." Alice teased.
"Shut the hell up." I glared at her with the best mean stare I could muster. Alice saw right through it, snickering at me.
"Sooo, you nervous to see your bae?"
"Does not being able to eat anything without wanting to puke answer your question? Or the fact that my stomach feels like there's a million somethings flying inside it? Or how my heart wants to leave my body with how fast and hard its beating?" I said as I finished the not on my laces.
"Awww, you are just too cute. That guy makes you a softie." She gushed.
"Yep, I hate it and love it at the same time." I said with a sarcastic smile.
"Ima miss your snores, and your annoying ass voice." She said as she stood up and hugged me.
"Last night you laughed like a hyena in your sleep." I said back as I hugged her back and she laughed.
I took her hand and squeezed it tight. "I left my phone number in one of your fuzzy socks, the ones I borrowed the other day. When you get out, text me so I can save your number. Lets hang, take care okay?" I said lowly for her ears only.
"Alrighty, you too bitch. Also, say hi to lover boy for me. Tell him he's lucky your taken and my parents raised me right." She joked.
I was laughing when one of the new nurses, came in.
"Juniper, the social worker wants to see you. Make sure to bring your stuff."
I nodded and gave Alice one last hug before heading out. My social worker made me sign some papers, talk to me about my up coming check up therapy sessions I had to assist and send me on my way with the security guard. Once outside, they unlocked the gate and I was free!
It was really windy as I walked outside the security gate and down to the parking lot where I immediately spotted a familiar black BMW that sent my heart into overdrive. Then the door opened and Madelane came out, with the brightest smile on her face. She screamed at the same time I did and ran towards me, tackling me and causing both of us to fall to the ground.
"Madelane your breaking my bones!" I complained with a whine, a huge smile on my face.
"I don't care! Your okay, your actually okay!" She kept saying and I cannot describe how happy that made me. I was there, with my sister, alive.
I was alive.
"Silly girls." I heard Aunt G mumble as she helped us up. Once I was back on my feet, I threw my arms around her.
"I missed you, old hag." I muttered and she just laughed.
"Group hug!" Madelane exclaimed and practically squished us completely.
"Madeline, I'm going to murder you!" I said breathlessly as the three of us laughed.
I heard a deep chuckle behind us and my heart started beating like crazy.
"Mind if I join?" Tyler asked, his green eyes looking brighter than ever under the light of the sun, his smile so wide and genuine. He looked so alive and well, his evident excitement was contagious.
With my duffel bag forgotten on the ground, I ran up to him and jumped into his arms, wrapping my legs around his waist as he held me tightly against him.
"My shirt never looked better."
I giggled and sighed in content. "I missed you too, Ty."
~•~•~•~•~•~•~
After that, went to eat at Abby's and I got to see Tessa and her boyfriend. And then Sebastian showed up. I punched him in the stomach, remembering what I heard Maddy say while I was in my comma. Then I helped him up, apologized, and told him to be careful with what he drank. Besides that, all of us talked for hours nonstop, about everything and anything. And we laughed, boy did we laugh. It felt right, it felt good.
Afterwards, we went to the stables and mounted the horses. We came back to the house a while later and drank smoothies while we talked, just the four of us. I briefly told Aunt G, Maddy and Ty about everything that happened, during my comma and out of it in the institution. Aunt G told me how she was going to open the ranch for other kids to come, something that I found amazing. Madelane said she was starting to rebuild her relationship with Sebastain, and this time they were going to do it the right way. And Tyler briefly told us about the encounter with his mothers look alike. I told him it was a sighn, and that I was glad his mom talked some sense into him.
It felr nice to be home.
"Don't have to say a word, whichever way you turn, nothing to worry, I'm watching over you.
I'm never far away, don't have to be afraid
Look up I'll always be watching over you
I'm right here even when it seems I'm so far out of reach.
Take my hands, I got you safely in my arms
Hold on to me." I sang softly as I looked at star lit sky. It was pretty warm tonight, compared to other nights.
I looked at one in particular that shined with all its glow. Through my sadness, I smiled.
"You sound like an angel when you sing." Tyler told me, coming outside to join me on the balcony. I gave him a smile.
"I hope you sing like that to our children." He added.
"Our children? What makes you think you will be the father of my future children?" I asked teasingly.
"The fact that I would kill any other male that got close to you with those intentations gives it all away." He growled playfully, hugging me from behind as we faced the stars.
"No need to be possessive, you know I'm all yours." I said with a little smirk.
"No, you know your mine." He said as he put his head on my shoulder.
"Stand down, wolfy. I'm wearing your shirt right now, not anyone else's." I said and he chuckled.
"My shirt has never looked so good." He practically pured and I smacked his wandering hands slightly, earning a laugh from him.
We were quiet for a while.
"So if we had a girl, I'd want name her Celine. My mother was always talking about how she wanted her granddaughter to be named Celine Nicole." Ty said after a moment and I decided to play along to his little pretend game.
"But If we had a boy, I'd name him Henry. Henry Jay, in honor of a very special and brave boy I met." I said, smiling.
"We would live in the outskirts of town, in a quite neighborhood surrounded by trees and clear so you could see the stars at night." He said, making lazy circles on my stomach.
"You could be a teacher, just like you've always wanted to be." I added.
"What about you, Dr. Thompson?" He teased.
"I don't know, everything that happened made me realize that I have a lot to say. I want to use my voice, and give my advice to others. I want to continue being selfless." I laughed, snapping out of my haze. "That sounds silly, sorry you had to hear that."
Wordlessly, he turned me around so I was facing him. "It doesn't, it sounds amazing actually."
"Truly?"
"Baby, all you have wanted is to help others. You don't have to be a doctor to do that. You said so yourself, you have a voice. Use it, put it to good use. Maybe you could even right a book."
I laughed. "If I do, I owe you ten bucks."
"Your on, but is that before or after we have kids?" He teased as he kissed my forehead.
"Tyler Parker Anderson, what makes you think I'll even let you?" I scolded and joked.
He suddenly hauled me over his shoulder as if I weighted nothing, and with blinding speed. I squealed as he dropped me on his plush, soft bed and hovered over me.
"I can be very... persuasive." He muttered with humor.
"Well, you should persuade your hormones if you want to live and not die by the hands of Gloria Thompson. It's a miracle she even let me sleep over in the first place mind you." I said, suddenly breathless.
"Precisley, so why not make the most out of it?" He said, his hands grazing my sides and making the shirt I was wearing -which was his but I claimed as mine- hitch up a bit. I shivered as he touched my bear skin. When he found the spot, I tried to get away because I knew what would happen next. Pretty soon, I was laughing histarically and begging him to stop as he tickled me.
"Yield!" He exclaimed over my laughs, which sounded like Nightingale when she neighed in complaint.
"Stop! Please! I yield! I yield!" I said between breaths.
He laughed and let me up. We cuddled together and I sighed in content.
"All jokes aside, do you think we will still be together in the future?" He asked with a nervous edge.
"Honestly, I can't see myself with anyone but you. I have faith, and a feeling. For now, I'll gladly enjoy this." I admitted as I looked at him.
He said nothing, just kept looking at me.
I laughed and threw my hands in the air. "What?!"
He smiled. "I just can't believe your here, and that I get to have you, here you sing and laugh, see that dazzling smile." He said softly and my heart warmed.
"I'm so sorry for what I put you through." I said as I placed my hand on his cheek, my thumb brushing his cheekbone.
He touched the pendant, two big silver wings, that hung around his neck. He wore it everyday and refused to take it off. Just like me with the bracelet he gave me.
"What matters is your here, and made it back to us. You have this glow, its beautiful. You look happy." He said softly, tracing circles on my stomach with his thumb.
"I am happy, like JJ would have wanted for me to be. He likes you, by the way. Your on his list of approval." I told him with a smile as I propped my chin on his chest.
"I'm glad you got to talk with him, babygirl."
"Me too, I think we both needed it." I said softly as he pulled my body impossibly closer to his.
"Everything feels so right." I mumbled.
"Everything always feels alright when your around." He admitted, his green eyes filled with love.
He leaned into me and gave me a long, slow and lingering kiss that sent my heart into overdrive and made little shivers go through my body.
"I love you." He whispered once we pulled away.
I smiled. "I love you more."
As I lay in Tyler's arms, something made me look at the window. There, just moments ago where I was sitting on the ballusters, was JJ. As if sensing eyes on him, he turned and met my eyes. His blue orbs twinkled like the stars above him. He gave me a little wave and he returned his attention to the sky. I blinked, rubbing my tired eyes. My vision adjusted, and he was gone.
You may say I'm going crazy again, but I know otherwise. That was a sign, that he would stay true to his promise, and that everything was finally going to be okay.
With that thought, I snuggled closer to Tyler as he turned the computer on and we began watching Netflix.