"Why's everyone looking at me?"
I tugged at my jacket, or rather Harry's jacket as I walked, if I'd known it was going to be like this I wouldn't have come today.
"Because you were on the news for like two days in a row." Harry muttered and I flushed.
All the looks and the pitiful smiles were only adding to my already bad day. As if it wasn't bad enough when I realised I'd missed four days worth of my birth control this morning.
Now I had to wait two weeks until I was safe again, not that I was planning on having sex with anyone.
But I mean, I swallowed as I glanced at Harry, I wouldn't say no if he asked.
That was followed by me realising I'd left my coat at home half way to the University, Harry grumbling about 'not turning round now' and me worrying I was about to die of hypothermia.
But again, I wasn't going to say no when Harry thrust his jacket at me and glared until I put it on.
"Well everyone's already staring so, might as well."
I glanced up at Harry in confusion just as his arm landed on my shoulder and I stumbled a little bit as I was pulled closer into his side.
My face heated until it rivalled the sun and I was sure I looked like a tomato too, my lip being sucked under my teeth as we headed into the building.
I didn't know what possessed Harry to do that but I wasn't going to complain. Just like last night when Ollie stayed the majority of the afternoon and evening.
Harry wouldn't let me sit anywhere that wasn't the sofa he was on. Much to Ollie's displeasure.
But once again I couldn't complain or be annoyed with my best friend, he just rambled on about work, letting me know there were some new paints he thought I'd like, how much uni work he had and how excited he was for Christmas.
Ollie was a treasure.
"Why are you limping?"
Harry suddenly rounded on me making me stumble, his arm falling from my shoulder as he tried to make sure I didn't smack into his chest.
"I-uh-what?"
I watched as Harry's eyes rolled upwards but didn't go the whole way as he pinched the bridge of his nose before dropping into the seat Tom had occupied only a week before.
"You're limping." Harry stated as if I was stupid and I suppose I was, "I want to know why."
"I'm just sore, I gu--"
"Why?"
"I don't know." I mumbled, my eyes staying pointed away from Harry's face considering it was like thunder right now. "I just woke up like it yesterday. And I mean one of the tests I had done at the hospital wasn't exactly easy."
"What test?" Harry narrowed his eyes at me and I swallowed.
Why was he so suddenly so interested? And angry?
"A rape kit."
Harry didn't say anything once I'd answered and I was glad for it. I was also glad when people started filing into the classroom, although I hate the way the majority looked at me. I didn't even really want to be here.
I wanted to be at home, in bed, still sleeping and preferably with Harry by my side but I had to settle with him being across the hall. Hence me not sleeping at all well.
I just felt better when he was near me and I slept better too, sue me.
"Were you?"
I blinked as I briefly thought I had imagined Harry speaking once the lecture had started, and although Colin had done a double-take on me, he simply smiled and carried on like nothing had changed and I was grateful.
"What?"
"Were you, y'know," Harry mumbled, "Raped?"
I didn't like the tone of his voice and even though I knew the truth it still made me sad to know that Harry might be thinking of me in a different light.
"No. I wasn't."
"Good."
I rolled my lips together as Harry nodded, I couldn't help it but it stung knowing that if I had been, he'd look at me differently.
But neither of us said anything else as Colin carried on teaching and I carried on taking notes; trying to not let my anxiety of Harry being weird and being back near the place I was abducted from take over my body.
"Poppy!"
I jumped and stopped walking as someone called my name, almost fearing the worst but I turned slightly and I caught Harry glaring at me from the corner of my eye and once I'd realised who it was, I turned properly.
"How are you?" Tom asked tentatively, his eyes darting between Harry and I.
"Why do you care?" Harry grunted before I could even open my mouth and I nudged him discreetly.
"Because she's my friend, don't be so fucking rude to me. I thought you said he wasn't around."
I swallowed awkwardly as I shifted on my feet, why did Harry always have to be rude?
"I never said that," I tried to placate the situation, "you asked if he was my boyfriend."
"Why's that any of your business?" Harry drawled and I rolled my eyes.
"She said you weren't." Tom snapped, his eyes narrowing at Harry who didn't seem bothered by Tom's growing anger.
"Are you the one sleeping next to her at night? Didn't think so."
I flushed as Harry spat at Tom, his loud voice attracting the attention of several people and I shifted on my feet. Harry wasn't doing that either.
This really was a bad day.
"Don't talk about her like she's some sexual object." Tom hissed and I pulled a face as I tried to ignore the two of them.
My nerves and anxiety had been building all day and now finally I felt like I was a living wreck, my eyes darting around us, as people looked at me, looked at Harry and Tom and I swallowed, feeling like I was trapped in a box that was gradually getting smaller and smaller.
"Why don't you try not talking about, or to her at all." Harry snapped back, his attention fully on Tom until I tugged on his sleeve.
"I want to go home." I mumbled, feeling like I was going to suffocate despite being out in the open.
I could see the spot where it happened last week and it wasn't doing me any favours. I could still see Harry falling to the ground, the noise echoing around my head, the feeling of arms around my middle.
The bruise around my eye, even now covered in make up felt like it was burning at a thousand degrees, screaming out for everyone to look at it. The panic clawing up my throat as everything happened again in front of my eyes.
But this time I was watching it. I was watching Harry being hit, watching a girl that looked like me being grabbed, the fear on her face burnt into her skin, water streaming from her eyes as she tried to escape.
I was watching all the things I should have done last week but didn't.
"Poppy..."
"Poppy!"
I jumped as hands were suddenly gripping my face, brief fear ripping through my body as if my vision had come to life once more until my unfocused eyes found Harry's furrowed brows as he stared down at me.
"Flower." Harry murmured and I blinked, nodding in response to my name. "I asked if you were okay?"
"I want to go home."
My voice sounded distant and I felt like I was miles away from it but I saw Harry nod before his hand was around mine and we were walking. I was vaguely aware of Tom being left behind, still standing in place but I didn't do anything.
I didn't understand what was happening, I could see my hands, I could move my body; clearly evident by the fact I was now in Harry's car, with him driving and giving me looks every so often but I just did not feel...here.
If that was even possible.
"Flower, are you okay?" Harry asked again and I vaguely realised he was driving way over the speed limit, the realisation somehow comforting; as if everything was normal.
Harry was here, Harry was driving almost dangerously, Harry was normal and Harry was here.
"I--"
I started but never finished as a sudden rush of exhaustion hit my body just as Harry unlocked the gates to my driveway. I could tell I was home but that wasn't enough, I didn't know what I needed or even what I wanted.
I just needed something.
The contents of my stomach fell out my mouth in quick succession as I lent out the car door, the digested food from my body splashing on the gravel as I heaved and wretched to get everything out of my system.
"Jesus Christ." Harry muttered as I threw up again.
This time there was no food, just liquid. Green bile pouring from my mouth as I practically fell out of the car and landed on my hands and knees. Nothing but the sound of my dry heaving as I stayed there on all fours.
"Are you done?" Harry asked and I wiped at my mouth as his boots came into my eye line and I blinked up at him.
Definitely wished he hadn't seen that happen.
I nodded as I pushed myself up, sharp grovel jutting into my palms as I tried to balance myself. Harry gripped my arm as I wobbled and I smiled absentmindedly, I felt better but there was still a churning or maybe yearning inside.
"S-s-Sorry." I mumbled as I wiped at my mouth again, hyper aware that I probably looked disgusting. My teeth started to clash together as my entire body came over cold as I waited for Harry.
One hand still wrapped around me and the other hiking my bag up over his shoulder as Harry fumbled for the house key and I, without thinking, closed my eyes whilst I was waiting, feeling my head grow heavy and droop forward causing me to stumble and Harry to grab me completely.
"Don't apologise Flower." Harry grunted as he manoeuvred both himself and me inside the house, his long leg kicking the door shut behind us.
"M'jus' glad yeh' didn't spew in m'car."
I snorted at his statement, only to regret it as the acid by product that hadn't come out my nose ran down the back of my throat and I almost wished I had a gag reflex.
"What are you doing now?" Harry asked and I blinked slowly.
"Bed." I stated as I took a step towards the stairs.
"First, teeth." I amended.
I trailed up the stairs, the feeling of being above my body back as I was aware of Harry close behind me, the heat of his hands radiating through his jacket on my lower back even though he wasn't touching me.
I had changed and brushed my teeth without even knowing it and the first thing I knew was I was standing in the middle of my bedroom, looking at Harry who was looking at me.
"Alrigh'?" Harry asked slowly and I nodded just as slowly.
"Better."
Harry regarded me evenly as he nodded and I wasn't sure if he was treating me like a child or a wild animal.
I wasn't sure if I liked either option.
"Um," I started only to pause and swallow, licking my lips. "Can you, uh. Is it okay if you stay, with me?
"We live together."
I almost laughed, as Harry spoke in his usual monosyllabic tone.
"I mean, sorry, like um, can you stay in my bed with me? Please?"
I saw Harry eye up the clock on my bedside table and even I knew it was only five o'clock but I didn't care. I needed this. I needed to get into bed and not leave until I felt better, until everything inside me was better.
I had almost half expected a witty response or some crude remark about it but Harry simply nodded and gestured for me to get into bed which I was all too happy to comply with.
I crawled into bed as I watched Harry disappear into his room and I pulled my quilt right up, settling down into it. Everything was always better in bed.
I was jostled about and blinked my eyes open to find Harry making himself comfortable alongside me and I realised I must have drifted off, how long had Harry taken?
"Thank you." I whispered, my voice barely audible to my own ear but I watched Harry's jaw twitch before he looked away from his phone screen and to me.
"Wha' for Flower?"
"Being nice."
A yawn split through my lips as I spoke and my eyes closed as if in an automatic response.
"M'always nice to yeh' Flower."
"I like it when you're nice." I mumbled, aware that whatever I said made Harry laugh, the sound dancing around my ears as the bed shook slightly.
"Yeh' well you make me wanna be nice."
"Should always be nice, treat people nicely."
I curled further into the middle of the bed, my arms wrapping around something thick and I dropped my head to rest on whatever the hard thing attached to it was. I was too tired to be bothered whether or not I looked ugly.
I'm sure Harry would tell me either way in the morning.
"M'good with jus' bein' nice to you Flower."