THANK YOU
SOO MUCH FOR PEOPLE WHO HELPED ME AND SUPPORTED ME TO BE ABLE TO POST THIS YOU'RE ALL WONDERFUL <3
A little bit later, I sat with Lyniz, we were fixing the tumblr i made for her. We sat for a while and listened to Mara and Phil fighting outside the door.
It was always either making out or fighting with those two.
"I don't understand why you would just let her back into your life!! She looks like a dirty whore, and I bet she's a drug addict!! She's no good for you Phil."
"Mara stop trying to tell me what's wrong or right for me! You don't know anything!"
They fought for another ten minutes before I stopped listening, I look over at Ly and her face was red.
"Im not a whore. I wouldn't ever do something to hurt Phil, or you."
"I know you're not a whore, or a drug addict.
That's just Mara's stupid imagination."
Then I noticed Lyniz's eyes drop, she fiddle with her hands a bit.
"Are you serious?" I felt myself getting a bit angry, I raised my hand to put it through my hair and she flinched away and her eyes filled with fear,
She had thought I was going to hit her.
"Oh my god Ly I'm so sorry I would never hit you I promise, just talking I swear." I pulled away and I hugged her, whispering "I don't want any secrets between us."
She told me all about the Seven months of addiction. She did everything. Heroin, Cocaine, Acid
, LSD, she was almost clean now, though, she still thought about the rush. Im proud of her trying to stop. She also told me what she didn't stop. She didnt stop Marijuana, cutting or Ripping herself, and she didnt stop hating herself,
I just don't understand how someone so perfect would hate themselves.
Then it was time for my secrets.
"It all started when I found you, nearly dying. The image of you laying there was stuck into my mind and I drank nearly every night to forget it.
It added on to my other problems, I have been cutting for a year or so, and burning. I've been trying to stop so much since we got you back, I haven't drank since the night in the hotel. I haven't cut either."
I paused for a minute and her hand interlaced with mine.
"But I'm really afraid of myself now, I had gotten kind of chubby with all of the alcohol. So I've been throwing up when everyone was Asleep, and I know it's weird for boys to be so obsessed with weight, but i only have ten more pounds to lose." I wiped the tears that had begun to fall, "Im just terrified I will not stop after."
For the rest of the night Lyniz and I promised eachother, we would always be here and help.
And that night I didn't Throw up, and I didn't weigh myself. I didn't give a second look to my razor or lighter.
And that night I felt free again.