Jeong-Hui
"Bye!" I waved to all the boys as they walked out the door.
Right, when I closed the door my mind freaked out, "Su-Bin! What did I do!"
"What?" Su-Bin was caught off guard from my sudden change of emotions.
"Before you woke up, I talked to Dong-Min and he told me that I confessed my feelings to him!" I sad rapidly cringing on what happened next, "And I said, "no" over and over again cause I was scared!"
"Wait, calm down. What happened?" Su-Bin asked.
"Ok so yesterday we went to the party and I blacked out and apparently I confessed to Dong-Min when I was drunk," I said.
"Hold up you blacked out yesterday?" Su-Bin said shocked.
"Yeah, I don't remember anything," I turned to look at Su-Bin shocked expression, "Did I drink a lot?"
"You drank less than half of the bottle! And you forgot everything?"
I rubbed the nape of my neck nervously laughing, "I don't drink..."
Su-Bin sighed, "Just go on with the story."
"Oh right. So this morning, while you were asleep, he told me how I confessed to him and I freaked out and I said no, he didn't even ask me anything!" I cringed scrunching my face.
"Wait but why did you say no. You like him and it's obvious he likes you too."
"I got scared... I don't know how to explain it but it's like my head is telling me to stay away from a relationship," I looked down trying to figure out my confusing feelings.
Su-Bin reached over to hug me, "Does this have to do something with Si-Woo?"
"You don't know what happened. Do you?"
"No, but you don't have to tell me if you don't want to."
"You're my best friend so you should know," I gave her a small smile before sighing but I immediately looked away not able to look at her, "Si-woo and I went to secondary school together and we weren't friends but we talked time to time, it wasn't until spring after secondary school when we began talking more. I had just a few weeks until the end of the first trimester of college and I was stressed, my father just passed away, and I got in a fight with my mother so I had no other place to go... He let me stay in his apartment for a month while I was able to get this apartment and I was able to get my life together. We kind of ended up dating but there were lots of red flags... He would get fired from every job because he would be drunk and would constantly curse; he would start getting aggressive and starting trying to get into fights with me; he would force me to stay home only letting me going to get food, go to college, and work; and until recently he tried to make me..." I choked up.
"He tried to make me do more than I wanted to... one day that he was angry he told me to go to sleep and in the middle of the night he tried to sleep with me even when I didn't want to." I stopped talking trying to force my voice to not shake or crack. "I was able to get away but the thought that if I stayed there for longer I wouldn't be the same still scares me to this day. Before that night I wanted to leave, but I kept remembering that month in spring that he let me stay over at his place when he was sweet and it seemed like he really loved me. I stayed cause I thought he would change and go back to how he was but he never did."
Su-Bin stayed quiet the whole time and it wasn't until I looked into her eyes when I noticed she was crying. "Why are you crying?" I tried teasing her but the tears pooling in my eyes caused my voice to crack and waver.
Su-Bin cleared her voice wiping some of her tears, "It's just... for the longest time I felt like you didn't like me cause every time I invited you to parties and lunch you would never come or just stand me up and for a while I hated you. I thought you only used me for school work and I felt so much resentment towards you and I regret it so much now. The worst part is that, if I knew you were acting weird I should've talked to you and not hated you behind your back."
I held Su-Bin's hand as I looked into her red, puffy eyes, "I'm sorry for leading you to feel that way. I wanted to tell you everything but I felt so ashamed and I felt that when I told you about the relationship you would tell me it's my fault just like how I thought it was my fault."
"Jeong-Hui, you're my best friend, my only best friend, and I would never blame you for something you felt you couldn't escape from. If you want my advice, listen to your heart. In the end, if he does reject you, at least you've gotten your feelings across. He's moving to Seoul anyways if he doesn't like you back he's leaving but if you want him to leave without knowing than go right ahead just don't regret it."
I pouted, "But he's leaving... even if he happens to likes me back he's moving away..."
"Jeong-Hui if he likes you back then move with him," Su-Bin said in a caring-tone.
"But..." I stopped talking to think of the things I would leave behind, Si-woo? My mother, who hasn't tried contacting me for years? My apartment which still reminded me of Si-Woo? Su-Bin...
"But I don't want to leave you..." I said.
"Well, I just graduated college so there's nothing really holding me back," Su-Bin shrugged.
"What about your family?"
"Well... right when I graduated college my mom and dad were thinking of moving back to Busan but I think they would be okay if I moved in with my aunt and uncle," Su-Bin grinned, "Don't worry no matter what, I'll support you."
I began tearing up, "Su-Bin you're such a good friend!"
Su-Bin smiled, "Of course I am!"
"What about me?" I dramatically pointed at myself, "I'm a good friend too. Right?"
"No," Su-Bin teased laughing.
"Come over here you, butt!" I yelled while laughing, chasing her as she ran around in circles.
After collapsing of laughter, Su-Bin got up, "Get up we need to get your outfit ready for your date!"
"Date!?" I asked flustered.
"Yeah, the amusement park thing!" Su-Bin said happily.
"That's not a date!" I pouted, "It's not a date if everyone goes."
"Okay, I'll work some things out," Su-Bin talked to herself smirking.
"Wait, what?" I asked furrowing my eyebrows in confusion.
"Nothing," Su-Bin said giggling.
"Tell me what you say!" I yelled giggling along with her.
"Nope!" Su-Bin stuck out her tongue.
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So I'm freaking out, it's so much fun. I have to start school tomorrow but since I moved recently tomorrow just happens to be the first day of my new school. I don't want to jinx myself but I have hope I'll be able to post weekly.
Also if anyone has any tips on how to make friends or just survive high school alone help me. I'm usually really loud and happy but only with people I trust and befriend but I get really shy and serious with people I don't know... so I'm scared of not having any friends.
Anyways Stan Talent, Stan Astro make lots of friends! Thanks for reading! Cya <3