Warning: Swearing
Waking up the next few mornings was surreal to say the least. Before I had left the Avengers Tower earlier that week, not only had Tony added me to his "secret" panel giving me security access to EVERY floor in the tower including his own. I had also done what Clint and Steve had asked me to do. I got everyones phone numbers from Tony. So now in my phone under "code names," I had everyones contact information. After all I couldn't exactly put Iron Man or Clint Barton into my contacts list now could I?
I thought I would just be getting one cell phone number per person, two max, but Tony had felt the need to disagree and give me everyones everything. Their everyday cell numbers were just the tip of the iceberg. I also got a bunch of Emergency only numbers that were only to be used in certain situations, and those situation were quite odd to say the least. Well odd to me anyway. Who knew which of the Avengers had encountered these scenarios and how many times?
The Emergency1 number was only to be used in case the world was coming to an end. The Emergency2 number was only to be used if MY world was coming to an end. Emergency3, only to be used if bullet wounds are present anywhere on my body. Emergency 4, was only to be used if I was suffering from severe burn wounds. Emergency5, for some reason a Nuclear Holocaust has broken out, call Tony he'll know what to do. Emergency6, help I'm being eviscerated! Emergency7, why am I being incinerated? Emergency8, only to be used if kidnapped by a government official. And my personal favorite, Emergency9, only to be used if sinking in a ship off the coast of Cuba after a night of bad Mexican food. No joke people, each Avenger had this many numbers and they were all listed under these categories.
I had at first protested vehemently against having ten numbers for ALL six of the Avengers. I mean really, did I truly need sixty numbers added to my miniscule and cheap phone in one day? Those were extremely unlikely scenarios and I was getting their normal numbers as well! However Tony insisted that it would make him feel better knowing that I would always have a way to contact him if need be, and that I would have a way of letting him know I was safe in any situation. Being incinerated didn't sound very safe to me, but I didn't bother arguing with the man at this point. He was very determined. Begrudgingly I let him add all of the numbers to my phone. It was worth it when I saw how it made him feel better and a cocky little half grin took over his face. Smug bastard, but I ended up smiling back. His grin was contagious, what else could I say.
So for the past three days it was back to work for me, making coffee and selling muffins like I had never left and nothing life changing had happened. The only person outside of the Superhero family, Pepper, and Happy that knew about my newly changed soulmate status was my Landlord and Manager Leon. Truthfully I didn't even want to tell him, but when I came back to work the following Saturday after my day off I was acting "odd." Apparently I was "spacing out," and I had made the wrong coffee for someone a minimum of six times that day. I drank a lot of messed up coffee orders that day and didn't get one wink of sleep that night because of it. So in the end I ended up explaining everything, and after I told him he completely understood. Apparently it was another one of those things that was normal for recently mated soulmates. Each person in the bonded pair would feel a separation like I did that first day away from their partner and would be acting out of character. That was something that would have been nice to know before going back to work, or I would have taken the day off like any sane person would have and stayed home.
That was a couple days ago and it was now Monday. I had sent my now usual texts to Steve and Clints 'regular' non-emergent numbers first thing in the morning, letting them know that I missed them and that I hoped they were staying safe. Natasha was out there with them so I made sure to send her a text to 'stay safe' as well. Everyday since they had left on their mission I had made sure to send them a message, and while I hadn't heard anything back from any of them, I figured no news was good news when it came to secret missions.
Thor I found, did not have a very good understanding of how phones or anything electrical worked. So I usually just sent him out an emoji in the morning. I always got a reply back, though most of the time it looked like, "lolololololololololololololololololololololol." Gentle giant he may be when talking with me, but he did not have a good grasp on text speak, or normal English apparently.
Never one to leave anyone out, and hoping to get to know Tony's science buddy better, every morning I had sent Bruce a science joke to brighten his day. I know the "other guy" gets him down, so I wanted to make sure he smiled at least once a day. With that, GOOGLE saved the day. That first morning as I was brushing my hair, I realized that I had sent everyone a good morning text except for my favorite green scientist. With a quick look at GOOGLE and the knowledge that he was a science buff at the forefront of my mind, the first joke was sent.
"Why do chemists love dubstep music?"
I did not have to wait long for a reply.
"What?" In my mind I could just see the confusion on his face, and I grinned so hard my face hurt when I saw that he had read my reply.
"It's because they love to drop the base!!!!"
So he didn't reply back, but I knew that I had made him smile. Making people smile made me happy, and I went about my day with a Hulk sized smile plastered on my face. I texted Tony periodically throughout the day as well, and he never mentioned my joking with Bruce. I was surprised by that, but I figured it would be something that could stay between the "Hulk" and I as friends if that was what Bruce wanted. All friends have inside jokes, and I was just happy that I was seemingly "getting along" with everyones favorite Doctor. Later that night after I had said goodnight to Tony and was about to curl up under my covers and go to sleep, my phone beeped. Picking it up, I looked at it curiously.
"If you're not part of the solution, your part of the precipitate. Night." With a grin on my face I read the text from Bruce and knew that this was the start of a wonderful friendship.
Sunday mornings joke took some figuring out. However I knew just what to send after a little contemplation. After all of my good morning texts were sent, and I had a break in my line at work, I hit the send button.
"Want to hear a joke about Potassium? . . . . . . . K." When my phone beeped back with a reply almost instantly, I knew it was from Bruce. I smiled and literally laughed out loud as I read what he had come up with. He was following my lead when it came to today's joke and I loved it.
"Does anyone have any jokes about Sodium? . . . . . . . Na." My laughter drew my boss over to me and so I had to show him the joke. To which he just groaned and walked away. I may not be a genius like Tony or Bruce, but I had always found science fascinating and thought these jokes were hilarious. Apparently not everyone thought the same. Weirdos.
This morning I didn't have time to send anyone texts until after my shift ended at five pm. First my alarm malfunctioned and didn't go off, so I had to rush to get ready. Then we were slammed. ALL. DAY. LONG. I can't tell you how many times we ran out of someones favorite baked goods and I was yelled at by a customer, or someones coffee wasn't hot enough and I got yelled at again. By the time I made it upstairs and was laying down on my bed under the covers, I was utterly miserable and lonely. I missed Tony and Steve and Clint. I was upset with how the day had gone and I didn't even get my break. I hadn't eaten anything at all so my head was killing me, and I felt like I was going to burst into tears at any moment. The quiet beeping of my phone going off had me sniffling and my eyes tearing up as I answered it. I just wanted this day to be over and for it to be tomorrow already.
"Hello?" I asked as I hadn't even looked at my caller I.D.
"Hey angel." Tonys smooth voice was like music to my ears as I hiccupped and tried to keep myself from crying. In the background I heard a "Hey Stella!" being yelled, so I knew he was with Bruce in their joint lab. My voice must have sounded funny over the phone because I didn't even get a chance to respond to his hello before the background noise on his phone faded away and he was talking again.
"What's wrong baby?" The obvious concern for me that I could hear in his voice tipped me over the edge, and I started crying. Not full body racked sobs, just tears continuously falling from my eyes and my breath kept hitching in my throat.
"Not to sound like a baby or stupid, but I had a really bad day." I smiled painfully through the tears trying to make myself feel better, but that trick wasn't working. My mama always used to say that if you could smile through the pain then everything would be alright. Well I was smiling through the emotional pain so I guess everything was going to be alright.
"Who do I need to kill?" He sounded so serious at that moment that I honestly believed he was going to kill somebody.
"What! No! No killing! It wasn't something that would warrant that kind of a response." I told him honestly.
"Anything or anyone that makes you cry warrants killing, but if you don't want me to go all Rocky on someone's ass then I won't. Just tell me what made you upset ok baby?" I wasn't sure when he started calling me baby, but I liked it. I really didn't want to talk about my day, but if it kept him from going out and killing someone who was innocent then I would relive my day from Hell for him.
"It's nothing really. I just had some really horrible customers today who decided that it was my fault our coffee isn't as hot as a volcano, and that we were so busy we kept running out of baked goods so they couldn't buy their favorite muffin. Just stupid stuff like that, only it kept happening all day! Not only that but I miss Steve and Clint. I've sent them a text everyday, except today because I haven't had a chance to yet, and I miss you too, and UGH!!!!!" I ranted, and on the other end of the line I could hear Tony's even breathing so I knew he had heard every word I said.
"Well I can't do anything about your asshole customers baby. Besides if they enjoy their coffee so hot that it can't be enjoyed they are moronic assholes and not even worthy of your time because they like drinking the world's GREATEST beverage incorrectly. I basically live off that stuff so I should know. As for the Cap and Bird Brain," Here he paused and I could practically hear him thinking on the other end of the line. "I know they miss you angel, because Fuck I miss you and we have talked every day for the past three days. When they get back, I have no doubt that they will want to see you right away, because if I couldn't talk to you for three days. . . I would be on the verge of going insane."
"Really?" I asked him as my tears slowed down and I got my breathing back under control.
"Really baby. Now there is a certain scientist behind me who apparently didn't get his daily text from you so I'm going to put you on speaker okay?"
"Okay Tony." I heard a slight shuffling noise and then I could hear Tony and Bruce's voice through my cell.
"Hey Bruce." I said while smiling.
"Hey Stella, having a rough day huh?" Something anyone could tell about Bruce was that he was a very caring man, and I could hear his worry for me in his voice as he talked to me. If anyone could understand having a rough day, it would be Bruce. I was genuinely happy to hear from him since we had only texted since I last saw him.
"Yeah it's just one of those days I guess. I'm sorry I haven't had the time to send you your daily dose of funny yet." I truly was sorry, I had really come to enjoy our banter even though it had just recently started. I was proud to call him my friend.
"It's alright, I've been trying to come up with my own joke for today, but the one I came up with is pretty bad."
"Joke, what joke?" Tony asked from wherever he had moved to in their lab.
"Oh Stella has been sending me a joke every morning and I've been sending one back." Bruce explained and I nodded before realizing that they couldn't see me so nodding was pointless.
"It's been the start to a great friendship." I told Tony.
"Well I'm glad you two are getting along. You don't get out enough Dr. Banner."
I could tell that that topic was something that had been discussed many times before, and I could practically feel how uncomfortable it made Bruce. So I decided to change the subject. "I've got your daily joke for you if you are ready for it Bruce?"
"Alright lets hear it." He said, and I could almost hear the smile in his voice as he waited for me to tell my joke.
"How much room do fungi need to grow?"
"I don't know how much?" Bruce said playing along as this was the first time we had said our jokes to each other "face to face".
"As mushroom as possible!" My joke did not disappoint, and I heard him groan and laugh at the same time as I heard Tony in the background bemoaning about my lack of joke making skills. He didn't need to know I got it off of GOOGLE.
"Okay that was good. Now I warn you, mine isn't nearly as good as yours."
"Bring it my giant green friend!" I laughed and cuddled down into my blankets on my bed with a smile on my face as I waited for his all knowing sciency brain to tell me his joke.
"Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana." It took my brain a moment to get it, but once I did I laughed hard.
"Oh my gosh Bruce, that is the best and the worst at the same time!" I was grinning from ear to ear and I could hear Tony in the background laughing as well.
"Alrighty Brucey you've had your fun making my girl laugh, now give me back my phone." Tony said, and I could hear him take the phone from Bruce.
"Bye Stella!" Was the last thing I heard from Bruce before the speaker phone was shut off and it was just Tony and I in our own world again.
"So jokes huh?" Tony asked me and I could hear an undertone of something in his voice, but I couldn't identify it.
"Yeah. He seems like he needs a friend and I like him. Plus if I'm going to be around you all the time I want to get along with your friends." I told him honestly, and it was like I could hear the relief in his voice when he continued our conversation.
"Alright angel. So what are you going to do for the rest of the night?"
I glanced at my clock and saw that time had flown by, and even though I hadn't had anything to eat, I was exhausted. My limbs were relaxed and sinking into my mattress, and my head felt like it was on a cloud of cotton candy.
"I'll probably go to sleep honestly. It's been a rough day and I just want to put it behind me so I can start fresh tomorrow." My sentence was interrupted by a yawn of epic proportions, and even though Tony couldn't see me, I blushed.
"Then get some rest baby. I'll text Cap and Legolas that you went to bed early and that you miss them okay?" His voice was soft in my ear and I just wanted to hear him talk forever.
"Are you sure?" I asked him even though my eyes were closing and my grip on my phone was becoming loose.
"I'm sure. Now get some rest angel. Goodnight."
"Goodnight Tony." I mumbled, and I was out by the time my finger had hit the end call button.
Thanks to everyone who is voting on my story! Votes make me very happy and inspire the muses that inspire me!!!!!
To see the website where I got my science jokes, go to www.popsci.com/science-jokes-funny/