I watched numbly as Silas bare feet moved to stand in front of me. I hated that he was here. I regretted calling for him. I didn't want him to see me like this. I had been too weak to be a proper mate for him. He deserved so much better. I had failed him. I was nothing to him now.
Tears finally formed in my eyes but I refused to let them fall. I didn't deserve self-pity. I had betrayed my mate. If I had fought harder, if I had done something, I could have saved Amelia without getting marked. But no. I'd been too big of a coward to do anything.
I tilted my head down in shame. It hid my face and it provided the full submission he deserved.
Silas let out a low and deadly growl at my sudden submission. He sank down in front of me and I slammed my eyes closed. I couldn't look at him and see the betrayal in his eyes.The trembling of his hands as he adjusted my hair away from the disgusting bite was more than enough to shatter my heart.
"Leannan..." He said quietly.
I could barely hear his whisper but it sent another jolt of pain through me. My hands clinched on my thighs. My nails dug into the mater of my pants and bit at my skin painfully but it was nothing like the pain in my chest and my neck.
"Silas..." Matthew said carefully.
The enraged and feral growl that echoed through the kitchen made me cringe. I opened my eyes just enough to see that a very blurry Matthew had attempted to step closer. He took two steps back and bowed his head again to show submission.
"Silas... she's bleeding a lot... I need to know how deep the bite is." Matthew tried again.
Silas took several long and slow breaths. When he raised his hand to gently touch my aching neck his fingers felt cold.
"It's deep...She's burning..." Silas said. His voice sounded dark and distant like he was on the edge and at the very end of a tunnel.
"Then her bodies rejecting the mark." Matthew said quietly. I couldn't tell if he sounded relieved or concerned. I was distracted by the gentle brush of Silas thumb against my cheek. Instinctively I turned into the caress. Despite not having the usual tingles having his skin touch mine still helped me to focus on something other than the pain.
"How do we stop it?" Silas asked.
His question was met with complete silence.
"Matthew." Silas growled. "What the hell do I do?!"
"Just hold her Silas." Matthew said quietly.
"No! There has to be something!?" Silas demanded even as he pulled me into his lap. I considered fighting him. I didn't deserve his comfort like this but selfishly I wanted it. I didn't have the strength to pretend that I didn't. Silas tucked me into him. I hadn't noticed how much strength I was using just holding myself up but as I relaxed against Silas I knew how little I had left.
"My mark?" Silas asked when Matthew still hadn't answered his question.
"No." Matthew gasped. "If it fails it would kill you both."
I shook my head in agreement with Matthew. No way would I let Silas risk his life like that.
"...if?" Silas repeated. His trembling had stopped and it wasn't until he grabbed my wrists that I realized he had decided. His grip was gentle but restraining. His free hand shifted up into my hair. I shook my head harder and struggled pathetically against his hold. Tears spilled out of my eyes and cried desperately in silence for him not to do it.
"Silas don't!" Matthew said. "Another forced marking will only seal her death."
Silas froze.
"It will set in just like his has. Poison. She'd bleed to death before the chemicals could get to her heart. Don't make her last moments any more painful than they already are." Matthew continued.
Silas let out a frustrated growl and then he leaned down to capture my lips in a gentle kiss.
"Let me mark you Rylan." He pleaded against my lips.
I shook my head and turned my face away from his. I shoved against his chest. I needed to get away from him before he could try to convince me of this suicidal notion. He wouldn't release me. Instead he wrapped his arms around me, tucking me further into him, and he leaned down to speak quietly only to me.
"Listen to me leannan... I know you remember this pain... The pain of losing your wolf... It is cruel and it is brutal but it's nothing compared to watching your mate die. I won't survive this again. Marked or not you are mine and I will not go on without you." Silas whispered.
My hands clinched in his shirt and shoulders trembled with tears. I was killing him. No matter what I did now I was going to end up getting Silas killed as well.
Silas kissed my cheek, my temple, and my forehead. He let out a heavy breath. His arms shifted beneath me and then he stood. I kept my head down. I was to ashamed to look at anyone.
"Move." Silas said when he stopped.
"What are you going to do?" Aaron demanded.
"I said move!" Silas words came out with so much command and force that I shrank in on myself.
Within seconds we were moving again and we didn't stop until Silas was carefully setting me down on his bed.
I watched as he moved around the room grabbing different things and tossing them down next to me on the bed. I didn't bother looking to see what they were. My eyes were only on Silas.
"Lay down Ry." He sighed coming back to the bed. He sat down on the edge next to me.
I shook my head. I didn't want to die laying down. I didn't want to look any weaker than I already did.
Silas took a deep breath. He leaned forward to give me a quick distracting kiss.
"I'm going to clean this to help slow the bleeding and then bandage you up." He gestured to the supplies on the bed. I gave the gauze half a glance but not enough. I didn't want to look away from Silas for long. There was something off.
He reached for me. I clamped my hand down over the mark and shook my head again. It was already searing. I didn't want him to touch it and make the pain even worse.
"Rylan..." He sighed.
His hands shifted up to my face and he swiped his thumbs over my cheek to wipe away the tears. He leaned in with another, slower kiss.
"Please let me help you." He whispered and kissed me again and then again.
Each kiss seemed to last longer and longer until finally his mouth stayed on mine. The last and longest kiss was slow and seductive. Despite the pain and devastation of the night Silas kiss was intoxicating. Each swipe of his tongue against mine somehow managed to cause a fresh spark of tingles. Slowly and carefully he eased me back with his kiss until I was laying flat on the bed. He broke the kiss for half of a second to adjust me further up onto the bed. I was almost able to protest and then his lips came back to mine and I couldn't remember anything was wrong.
He bit me very lightly on my bottom lip and I let out a silent moan at the rush of tingles it caused. Silas smirked as he kissed me again. Each kiss became more and more demanding. His hand drifted slowly up the outside of my leg and then even slower back down between the two. Unconsciously my legs parted for him. His fingers traced along the seam between my legs the same teasing way as he had kissed me.
He kissed across my jaw and down my neck. The first swipe of his tongue across the bite nearly jerked me out of the lust filled haze he had created. His fingers pressed down harder as he stroked me. It was a successful distraction. I let out another silent moan. Torn between pain pleasure I couldn't think. His gentle cleaning matched each stroke of his fingers and before long both movements were sending jolts of tingles through me.
Silas paused and nuzzled my cheek as his hand slid into my pajama pants. The sudden return of his finger along my sex with no barriers quickly pushed me toward a climax. I was so close but I needed something more to push me all the way. I turned my head slightly wanting to feel his mouth on me again. Silas had an even better idea. His fingers sunk into me and flung me over the ledge. There was a sharp pinch at the base of my neck that only seemed to intensify my climax. Bright lights flashed across my vision and then nothingness claimed me.