the art of letting go (s.stan)

By sebstanny

28K 709 625

she runs away when things are good; she never really understood (partly social media) More

independence day
crazy
push rewind
honey I'm good
like this
particular taste
focus
treat you better
nobody's home
coming down
we don't talk anymore
on your side
take me home
closer
don't let me down
love yourself

girls talk boys

1.1K 32 45
By sebstanny

Sebastian lifted Bri onto the bathroom counter, his shirt and sweatpants discarded in a literal path across the bathroom. Her leg was hitched over his hips, slightly pushing at the elastic band around his waist.

It was all teeth and tongue, but they had been in this predicament for over ten minutes.

He was just about to dress for the day when Bri had accidentally barged into the shared bathroom with headphones on.

She was singing an unrecognizable song that turned into a panicked yell when she saw Seb standing in his boxer briefs.

Sebastian wasn't mad, mainly because he had forgotten to lock the door, but he felt bad because Bri tried to blindly run out but tripped and fell against the door frame.

When he helped her steady herself, he pulled the classic 'hair behind the ear' move and Bri leaned in after one glance at the concerned smirk on his face and the feeling of his warm hand on her shoulder.

"God, you're so hot." Bri groaned and Seb kissed down her neck, biting her collarbone in the process. She ran her hands through his hair and pulled him back towards her mouth to kiss him again.

His hands snuck under her hoodie and hiked it up. "I would ask if you've looked in a mirror lately, but that joke wouldn't work right now." He pretended to wink at himself through the mirror Bri was against.

"You got a mirror kink or something?" Bri slid her arms out of the confines of her hoodie and yanked it over her head. She threw it over Sebastian's shoulder and flicked her hair out of her face.

"We'll see." Sebastian grabbed at her waist. One of his hands pushed on her lower back so he could stand better between her parted legs, the other traced circles around her ribcage.

Bri honestly didn't know what to do with her hands. She could barely focus on the way Sebastian kissed her. 

He would roughen it up a bit, pull back to breathe and kiss literally anywhere, and then he would be totally gentle.

She could not keep up with the momentum, so she alternated placing her hands between his long hair that felt softer than any plush blanket she had ever owned, and his chest muscles that made her swoon and wonder why in the hell he was interested in even breathing near her.

She felt dizzy and excited and overwhelmed all within three seconds.

Sebastian sucked on her neck and used his nose to tilt her jaw upwards. "You know, you always smell so good. It makes me want to devour you."

Bri choked on the breath she was inhaling and began to giggle. "What kind of Shakespearean shit are you trying to pull right now?"

"I used to do Shakespeare!!" Seb exclaimed, throwing his head back in fake agony while pretending to hold Bri like Juliet Capulet.

Bri followed his lead and pretended to dramatically search the bathroom. "Romeo, oh Romeo. Wherefore art thou pants?"

Sebastian looked at her with a cocked eyebrow and a confused glance, letting his hands fall to his sides. Rolling her eyes, Bri pushed him back slightly and jumped down from the counter.

He pouted and tossed her hoodie in her direction, then began gathering his own clothing. "Just when I thought we were getting somewhere-"

"Hey, Bri!" There were a series of knocks at her bedroom door. "I was about to leave and needed to talk to you for a second."

Bri looked to Sebastian with wide eyes and tried to gesture for him to leave the bathroom. "One second, Chris!! I was about to jump in the shower."

She looked to Seb again and shook her head in disbelief. Her tone was pointed, but she still kept her voice at a low whisper. "Please, get out."

Sebastian gave her a challenging look and shrugged, conveniently and ironically planting himself on the toilet seat. "Proceed." He added, rolling out an arm.

Bri clicked her tongue against her teeth and clenched her fists.

"The bedroom door is unlocked." She yelled through the bathroom door. "I'm in the bathroom and I'm naked!"

Seb winked at her and mouthed 'I wish," resulting in a dirty, wet rag being chucked at his head.

She heard the door to her bedroom open and the springs on her bed creaked, most likely from Chris plopping down and kicking his legs out.

"What do you need?"

"I know you don't have to work today and since filming is wrapping up pretty soon, I wanted to ask if you wanna help plan a birthday dinner for Seb?" Chris sounded a little excited. "I come home around two, so I figured we could start planning then."

The small gasp behind her made her want to slam her head against the door. Sebastian had crept from his spot across the bathroom to rest his head on Bri's shoulder. 

He had scared her because she was so concentrated on making sure Chris did not know he was even in there with her.

Sebastian's feathery light kisses down her bare shoulder distracted her once again and she leaned back into his grasp.

"Bri? You okay?" The door knob jiggled slightly and Bri almost head butted Sebastian.

She racked her brain for some sort of excuse and cringed as soon as it came out of her mouth. "I have really bad cramps right now. Sorry."

"Okay, ew."

Bri and Seb both rolled their eyes and Bri responded with hopes of forcing Chris out of the house. "Can we talk about this when you get home? I really need to shower."

"I'll pick up some lunch on the way back. Text me what you want from the Grill. Love you, sweetheart!" She could hear Chris' footsteps travel towards the exit of her room.

She stayed silent until she was totally positive that Chris was gone. Bri turned to Sebastian and was already wishing that this day would end. "So, what do you want to do for your birthday?"

He placed a hand to the side of her head and rested his other on her hip. "You really wanna know?"

"I asked, didn't I?"Bri shrugged.

He thought for a second, turned on his heel, walked towards the shower and twisted the knob, then looked back to Bri. "You."

"Guess I was asking for that." Bri waited for him to finally exit the bathroom and locked both doors.

"And for the record: if you were actually having cramps I'd do anything to make you feel better!"

"GET OUT!"

--------------------------------------

*NEW POST FROM BRIDAWSON*

bridawson

"aren't we supposed to be doing something productive?" "idk I want ice cream tho" how could I resist free ice cream with this cutie 🥺 he even let me wear the nasa hat for five solid minutes!!

tagged: chrisevans

56,243 likes

\

chrisevans: okay but we both know who suggested the idea first, and it was not me

bridawson: chrisevans you insisted upon it, so the blame is on you

chrisevans: hat privileges = revoked

bridawson: chrisevans OH COME ON

user1: CUTEEEE

elizabetholsenofficial: neither one of you can get work done when you're together, its not surprising anymore

bridawson: elizabetholsenofficial I take offense to that

user2: bri omg more chris content pls he has been so inactive

anthony_mackie: so thats why he left set in a hurry

chrisevans: anthony_mackie priorities with my #day1

anthony_mackie: 😒😒😒😒😒😒😒

user3: what kind of ice cream? that is the question we should all be asking

bridawson: user3 cookies & cream and strawberry. separately of course

user4: im glad they're friends again idk what even happened

imsebastianstan: what productive thing are you supposed to be doing? 😏

imsebastianstan: also...WHERE TF WAS MY INVITE IVE BEEN HOME FOR AN HOUR?!?!?!?

bridawson: imsebastianstan LMAOOOO #butthurt

--------------------------------------

*NEW POST FROM IMSEBASTIANSTAN*

imsebastianstan

they really went without me. they really went to get ice cream without me. they really took the initiative to leave the house when I was five minutes away just to go get ice cream. they really went there. they really did.

634,768 likes

\

bridawson: omg quit being such a baby

bridawson: you are literally the most dramatic person I know

imsebastianstan: bridawson if looks could kill...

user1: bEEF!!!

bridawson: you would have definitely been dead a long ass time ago

elizabetholsenofficial: bridawson LOL YOU TELL HIM QUEEN

user2: OMG LIZZIE IS LEGIT BRIS BIGGEST FAN

chrisevans: can confirm we would be long gone, Sebastian

imsebastianstan: how are y'all gonna come on my own vent post and bully me??? the disrespect

user3: poor seb..... but go bri

anthony_mackie: all of you are so annoying the communication in this house is almost zero

bridawson: anthony_mackie I can handle like 30 mins of seb at one time, please let me live my life

imsebastianstan: um HELLO MY POST REMEMBER??

anthony_mackie: bridawson mhm, I see. that is totally different than what he told me.

bridawson: anthony_mackie what?

--------------------------------------

"So, I was thinking we could have it at our place and maybe invite the cast over for a small barbecue?" Chris rattled off some ideas and Bri scrolled through her phone and gave a light nod every now and then.

"Sounds good." She furrowed her brows and began frantically typing again.

He crossed his arms and sat back in his seat. "Then maybe we could have a satanic ritual where we sacrifice Sebastian."

"He'd love that."

"BRI!" Chris yanked her phone from her hand and put it in his pocket. "I just suggested sending Sebastian to hell and you agreed with no rebuttal."

"You did what?" Bri shook her head. "Give me my phone back."

Chris rolled his eyes and sat still. "Not until we have this planned and you stop worrying about Instagram."

Bri returned his eye roll and huffed, leaning over the table. "Okay, so. Sebastian does not like big gatherings and he says that you and Anthony are really the only people on set that regularly speak to him. A barbecue might be a little too much, especially considering that he doesn't like socializing in large crowds."

He was taken back by her analysis and was kind of surprised that she knew so much about Sebastian's behaviorisms.

"Also, since his birthday is in two days, I would suggest just letting me cook whatever he requests and invite Anthony and maybe Lizzie over."

"Uh-" Chris let the idea process in his mind for a minute. "That sounds great, I guess. If you get him to tell you what kind of food he wants, I can run to the grocery store tomorrow to prep."

Bri nodded and held her hand out for Chris to place her phone in it.

He shrugged and complied, grumbling about her being a 'know it all.'

"You ready to head back? I would really enjoy a nice bath and some stir fry for dinner." She stood from her chair and threw away their ice cream cups.

Chris followed her out the door without another word.

They drove back to the house in silence, the only noise was the occasional grunt of disgust from Bri as she looked through her social medias.

"Can I just say that I think its nice you got to know Sebastian." Chris glanced at her before he pulled into the driveway. "I never really noticed that he stayed to himself when we do filming stuff. I don't want to throw a party for him that he would not enjoy."

Bri gave him a side smile. "He's only mentioned it once or twice. I don't think it bothers him, but I know he doesn't like loud spaces with a lot of people."

Chris snorted. "You are two peas in a pod then." He smoothly slid across the hood of his car as he got out and ran to open Bri's door. "I remember you just wanted to eat cupcakes with me and Scott on your birthday when you were younger."

Bri nudged him in the ribs and raced him up the steps to unlock the door. "That was mainly because my parents were never home."

"Ah, good point."

Chris followed her into the kitchen and watched her pull ingredients from the fridge to make some sort of dinner. He waited for her to ask for help, but when she absentmindedly pulled a sharp knife from the utensil drawer, he stopped her.

"Bri, why don't you let me make us some food, okay? Go take that bath you were talking about." He gingerly took over and bumped her with his hip so she would scoot out of the way.

"But-"

"Nope, go." He chuckled and jokingly pointed towards the hallway to her room.

"Hmm." Bri flicked him on the arm and trudged to her room. 

As soon as she was sure she was out of sight, she looked over her shoulder once more and sprinted to her room.

She closed the door and double checked that it was actually locked before darting off to the bathroom. Her hands turned both knobs on the bathtub, remembering to not plug the drain. 

Bri finally knocked frantically on Sebastian's door and backed away to pace as he came to open it.

He opened it with a playful smirk and chewed on his bottom lip, wondering if Bri would initiate their makeout session this time.

"I'm mad at you, sweetheart." Seb pouted, leaning against the door. "You know how I'm a sucker for hot fudge sundaes. I can't believe-"

"Did you tell Anthony?" Bri stopped in her tracks and looked at him with worried eyes. "Be honest with me."

Seb sputtered. "Tell him what?"

"Please do not play dumb with me right now." She was almost teary eyed from thinking about Anthony telling everyone about her and Seb's bathroom rendezvous.

"I- uh..." Sebastian was silent for a second. He bit his lip and sucked in a harsh breath. "It may have slipped."

Bri tilted her head to look at him in disappointment.

"I didn't think anything about it until he almost dropped a dumbbell on my foot and-"

"Wow!"

Sebastian stepped back at her volume and looked at her with his hands held up in defense.

Bri wiped at her nose and turned away from him. Her back shook as she breathed in and she tried to look at the ceiling to blink away her frustration.

"Bri," Seb tried to cautiously circle around her, but she kept turning away so she didn't have to face him. "I promise I didn't mean to tell him, it was an honest accident."

She sniffled and used the sleeve of her shirt to get rid of any evidence of tears. "But you told him. That is what matters right now."

Sebastian didn't really know how to console her because it was indeed his fault. His hands would reach out for her, then drop when she visibly started to shake.

"Can you tell me why you're upset that he knows?" He asked and waited for a response, starting to feel a little agitated. "Are you embarrassed or something?" 

"I just want to know why Anthony is being so condescending towards me. I don't like the fact that people I barely know learned details about my private life."

Crossing his arms, Sebastian sighed heavily. "You didn't answer the second question."

Bri turned to him with her mouth agape. Seb finally caught sight of her reddened nose and smudged mascara. 

"You know I would never be embarrassed of being with you in any way." She gulped. 

Sebastian could hardly look into her eyes because she looked so hurt and betrayed. "I only told him about the first time and when I went into work today he said I smelled like your perfume and only started questioning me more."

"And what did you say, Sebastian?"

He licked his lips and tried to remember when he told Anthony about them secretly making out in the room that connected them. "He, uh- Anthony asked if I had gotten laid recently and I... I think... I, maybe, said I came close."

"Did he congratulate you?" Bri gritted her teeth together.

"What?"

Bri's shoulders physically deflated. "Did Anthony clap you on the back and praise you for 'getting some?'" She held up air quotes.

Seb shook his head faster than he thought possible. "No! He just said he didn't think you would ever like me in that kind of way."

Bri's brows furrowed together. "In what way?"

"I guess in an affectionate way?" His hands slapped against his thighs as they raised and lowered in defeat. "He said Chris talked about how you were too careful with other guys and Anthony found it surprising that we've kissed more than once."

"Oh, so now I'm just a slut that you use for your own benefit?!" A low gasp left her throat.

"I never said that!" Sebastian felt himself growing angry. He knew he was in the wrong, but it felt like Bri was twisting his words. "Will you please just-"

"Sebastian, do you realize I finally got the three of us all settled and now Anthony could just turn around and tell Chris?!" Bri was now crying and panicking.

She yanked on the makeshift pony tail on the top of her head and tried to hold the back of her hand to her mouth in order to hold her breath. Bri didn't want to start full on sobbing just because she was assuming things about Sebastian.

It seemed as if Bri was comparing him to her ex-boyfriend on every level today. She tried to tell herself that Sebastian wouldn't make up fake "conquests" to brag about to his friend. She tried to remember that they were not in a relationship and there was no way Sebastian could just hide a second part of his life from her. 

Bri knew Sebastian wasn't manipulating her. It was just the anxiety talking. 

"Babe- calm down for a second." Seb reached for her arm, but she jolted away like she had just been burned from the touch. 

She pointed towards her bedside table and silently gestured for Sebastian to grab some sort of medicine. 

He was on high alert and practically ran at full speed through the doorway. His hands grabbed the first bottle he saw on her nightstand, along with the water bottle she had tossed on her bed earlier that day.

Bri was already collapsed on the edge of the tub. Her elbows were resting on her knees and she lightly rocked back and forth to relieve the tension within her entire body.

"Bri, baby- here." Sebastian kneeled down in front of her and tried to hold onto her hand while he gave her the proper dose of medicine. 

He made sure she took a drink of water and swallowed before he leaned fully sat on the floor and leaned against the tub. Seb slowly grabbed Bri's hands and tugged her down onto his lap.

Her head rested against his shoulder and Sebastian's arms wound around her tightly. He swayed a bit, trying to make her as comfortable as possible so her breathing would return to normal.

Seb used his hand to rub her upper back and move her hair out of her face. It took a few more minutes for Bri to match her breathing to Sebastian's, but he didn't mind. 

"Are you okay?" Seb looked down at Bri's face to see her eyes closed. 

She wrinkled her nose and nodded. "I'm so sorry."

Sebastian held her tighter as a small smile appeared on his face. "You have nothing to be sorry about, Bri."

She shook her head and shifted slightly to properly look into his eyes. "I'm sorry I freaked out. I just get paranoid about stuff like this because it's happened before."

"I know, you told me. I should have remembered." He kissed her cheek and brought his thumb up to wipe the runny mascara from under her eyes. "I'm sorry for telling Anthony."

"It's okay." She sniffled once more and wiped at her mouth. "Do you really think I'm embarrassed by you?"

Sebastian chewed on the inside of his cheek. "Like you said, we've both had terrible things happen to us."

"I would never, ever, ever be embarrassed to be seen with you." Bri placed her hand on the side of his neck. "Please never think that. Go look at my Instagram for evidence."

"I know." Seb chuckled. "I think we both have defense mechanisms that we really should talk about."

Bri nodded in agreement, playing with the ends of his hair. "Let me say sorry one more time."

Sebastian rolled his eyes. "You don't have to-"

Bri leaned in and kissed him, shutting Sebastian right up.



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❝why don't you figure my heart out?❞ artjficially » 2016 » sebastian stan