•••••Joshua's Perspective
I thought that being avoided by Alex would make things better.
I was tragically mistaken.
Over the past couple days, I'd nearly gone insane with anticipation. I'd pieced together an explanation for her, mapping out what I'd say if I got the chance, and replayed it over and over again in my head.
Every time I saw her, my speech crawled up my throat and grabbed ahold of my tongue, trying to catapult itself out of my mouth.
But every time she saw me, she turned and went the other way.
"Don't let it get to you too much." Sky patted my head before sitting next to me on the floor. "If she wants space, then she wants space."
I nodded, continuing my pre-show stretching routine. "Yeah, I know."
"I mean, it sucks, but, like, you can't do anything about it right now."
"I wish I could." I mumbled in response.
He gave me a sympathetic look, but didn't reply.
"There you are." Aiden's voice came from the doorway as she stepped into the room.
She ruffled my hair before moving to sit down next to Sky.
The redhead leaned close to her, puckering his lips out expectantly.
Raising an eyebrow, she muttered, "Hello to you, too," but gave him the kiss he was asking for.
"One more," he said as she attempted to pull away from him. "Please?"
"Fine." She relented, kissing him again.
"PDA." I said under my breath, rolling my eyes.
Aiden looked over at me. "What was that?"
"Huh?" I glanced up at her. "Oh, nothing."
She gave me a knowing look. "She's grown on you."
"Yeah, except right now, she won't talk to me." I snapped.
"I'm sorry." The violinist sighed. "I can talk to her for you, if you need."
I shook my head, standing to my feet. "No, I don't wanna push it."
Sky nodded approvingly. "That is very mature of you, Joshua."
"Yeah, look at me go." I managed to shoot him a small smile before turning and heading out of the room.
The dressing room hallway was pretty empty, considering that we had roughly five minutes or so to places.
That being said, it was to my surprise that I slammed into someone when I rounded the corner.
And I was even more surprised when I saw who it was.
"Alex,"
"That is my name, yes." She mumbled, moving to retrieve the script that I'd accidentally knocked out of her hands in the collision.
I stooped down and snatched it up before she could, handing it back to her. "Sorry, I didn't see you."
She shook her head, moving past me. It was then that I noticed that she wore her hair down and unrestrained. "It's fine."
"Okay."
"Wait," she stopped and turned back around to face me. "Um,"
I bit my lip hopefully, sliding my hands into the pockets of my costume pants. "Yeah?"
She cleared her throat, brushing loose strands of her hair out of her face. "Um, have you seen Aiden?"
My heart sinking, I nodded and pointed down the hallway. "She's in Sky and Jordan's dressing room."
"Okay." She spun on her heel and hurried away from me.
"You hair looks nice." I said as she left.
She either didn't hear me, or didn't want to answer.
I sighed, feeling the heavy sense of regret settle onto my shoulders; it was a feeling that I'd become all too accustomed to of late.
The first time I'd spoken to her in days, and I still didn't get the chance to even ask if we could talk about it.
I was losing the best thing that I had, and I couldn't go back in time to fix what had happened.
Deep down, however, I knew that Sky had been right: there was nothing that I could do about it.
'If the best thing to do is give her space,' I thought, 'then maybe I should give her more space.'
I walked quickly down the hall to the dressing room that I shared with Nick, and retrieved my phone from my backpack.
Benjamin
«Do you have shows this weekend?»
«Yeah...why?»
«I think I'm gonna fly out to see it.»
«Take a couple days off?»
«Yeah.»
«Well you already know I'm down. You could probably take a plane to NYC tomorrow.»
«I'll talk to Mr. Calhoun after the show tonight.»
«Awesome!»
«Any particular reason you're taking a break? Sky mentioned something about you having a rough few days.»
«I just need to get away for a bit. Not too big of a deal probably.»
«Anything you'd want to talk about?»
«Maybe.»
«I'll be sure to buy some ice cream for you, then.»
«And I'll paint your nails if you want.»
«You know I might actually agree to that.»
•••••
(New York)
"Is this shade okay?" Ben held up a bottle of dark blue nail polish, before offering a bottle of black. "Or do you want this one?"
I tapped my chin. "Hmm, I'm gonna go with the black. Matches my aesthetic right now."
"Black it is." He unscrewed the black bottle's lid. "You know, you could've just waited until tomorrow to catch a flight."
"Yeah, I know, but I couldn't wait." I shrugged, setting my palms flat atop the coffee table. "Besides, showing up in New York at midnight seemed like a fun adventure."
He nodded, beginning to apply the black color to my thumbnail. "I probably would've done the same thing. So, how long are you here for?
"Only for the weekend." I replied. "Mr. Calhoun is giving me until Monday."
"Nice of him. He must think you need it."
"Yeah, I guess my performance is beginning to suffer."
He glanced up at me. "Because you're thinking about what happened with Cricket?"
I frowned. "Do you know what happened with Cricket?"
"Yeah, Sky told Aiden, Aiden told Natalie, and Natalie told me."
"Natalie?" I wrinkled my nose in confusion. "Since when do you talk to Natalie?"
He shrugged. "We've texted back and forth a little bit."
I narrowed my eyes at him, suddenly feeling a brotherly sense of protectiveness set in. "How'd you get her number?"
"She gave it to me?" He leaned away from me slightly.
Raising a suspicious eyebrow, I leaned in, covering the distance that he'd made. "What are your intentions with Natalie, Benjamin?"
His eyes grew wide. "You are taking this completely the wrong way!"
"Am I?" I set my hands on my hips, careful not to mess up any of what he'd done to my nails so far. "Or am I?"
"You are!" He insisted, pressing a hand to his chest. "Honest."
"So, you guys are, let me guess, 'just friends'?" I asked, making air quotes around the phrase.
He nodded rapidly. "Exactly."
"Hmm, I'm not entirely sure if I believe you."
"What if I told you that I met someone here?" He said, setting the nail polish bottle down and throwing his hands in the air. "Would you believe me then?"
I gasped loudly. "You met someone?"
He crossed his arms. "As a matter of fact, I did."
"Where? When? How?" I demanded.
"I met her two days ago. She cleans the stage."
I bounced around in my seat excitedly. "You met a girl!"
He laughed at my display. "You'd like her. She has the most amazing green eyes."
"Can I meet her?"
"Well, I don't know if it'll go anywhere, we're barely even friends yet."
I shrugged. "It's okay, just hurry up on the 'friends' thing and then move on into the 'flirting' thing. Simple."
"Alright, I'll get on that." He laughed again, before letting his smile drop. "So, do you think the weekend is going to be enough time for you to think about things?"
"Oh, no." I shook my head. "I'm not the one who needs time."
His bright blue eyes widened in realization, and he pointed an accusing finger at me. "Wait...you—you went away for her, didn't you?"
"Yeah." I shrugged. "Figured I'd give her a couple days to focus on her job, and on herself, instead of on trying to avoid me."
"Why?" He asked, continuing to brush the black polish onto my nails. "You didn't have to do that for her."
To my surprise, his comment made me laugh. "Of course I did."
"What?" He looked up at me, his brow furrowed in confusion. "No, you didn't."
"Yes, I did." I laughed again; everything suddenly made perfect sense. "You know, I thought that I knew everything about loving people, but Alex has shown me that there's so much more to it than I thought."
"What are you talking about?"
I met his eyes. "Alex was not a lovable person when I first met her, but I loved her anyway. And now, I can't imagine life without her."
Ben frowned. "No offense, Joshy, but she hasn't really gotten any more lovable. She's still rude and difficult, and—"
"Not to me." I shook my head. "To me, she's the most amazing person in the world."
"How?"
"Because I loved her, even when she didn't love me, and over time, she got easier to love. I did stuff for her instead of for myself, and I'm just gonna keep doing that."
"Josh, that doesn't make any sense." He breathed a puzzled laugh. "You don't have to cater to her like this."
I shrugged. "If you really want to love someone, you have to be willing to do what's best for them, even if it's not what you want. You should know that."
"Well, I do know that, but I still don't understand how—"
"I really didn't want to leave and come to New York today, no offense." I continued. "But she clearly needed time away from me, and it was my responsibility to do the right thing and give her that time."
Ben opened his mouth to speak, then closed it, remaining silent.
"Sorry, I know I sound crazy." I apologized.
"You don't sound crazy." He shook his head, beginning to smile. "Actually, I should probably start taking relationship advice from you on a regular basis. You're a pretty incredible guy."
"I'm not incredible," I laughed, "I've just learned some new things about being a best friend."
"And what if you never end up being anything more? What if you did this for her, and you guys still end up just friends, or not even friends at all anymore?"
"If it makes her happy, then it's worth it."
"Huh." He gazed at me in slight astonishment. "Guess I never realized that there was a whole stock of wisdom inside that wholesome little head of yours."
I frowned. "What did you think was in there?"
He shrugged. "I don't know. Lyrics and choreography, I guess?"
"Well, there is a lot of that. Also bacon."
"Of course, bacon." He said, amused, as he finished painting the last nail. "You're not even going to leave this on past tomorrow, are you?"
I shook my head. "Nope. I might take it off before I go to bed, actually."
He glanced over at the clock on the wall. "Which should hopefully be soon. It's almost two in the morning."
"Oh, wow," I stood up off the couch abruptly. "Sorry, I'm keeping you awake and you probably have to get up early tomorrow...or later today, I guess."
"Nah, it's fine." He shook his head. "I don't have to be at the theater until three o'clock."
"At any rate, you should probably go to sleep."
He shrugged. "Yeah, alright."
I clapped him on the shoulder—carefully, so I wouldn't get the black color on his shirt. "Goodnight, Benji."
"Night." He responded with a smile, turning to walk down the hall to his room, before he stopped. "Oh, wait,"
"Yeah?"
He winced at me apologetically. "I realize that I was kind of a jerk to you before I left tour."
"Oh," I nodded, remembering. "Yeah, I forgot all about that, actually."
"Well, anyway, I'm sorry." He shook his head. "I shouldn't have treated you like that."
I smiled. "That's okay. It actually...helped."
"Huh?"
"When you ignored me, I'd go hang out with Alex instead." I explained. "That's one of the main reasons we became friends."
He tilted his head, holding his hands out as his brain tried to click the pieces together. "So, my negligence may or may not have led you to what is single-handedly the best relationship you've ever had in your life?"
I responded to his analysis with an affirming nod. "Yep."
"Wow." He blinked, surprised at himself. "Look at me go, I guess?"