The room is cold. It's always cold. Despite the heat from the body beside me, I shiver. The silken sheets brush against the top of my hip as I lie on my side, immense warmth radiating from the other side of the bed. The cool fabric slips farther down, exposing my naked ass to the room. I stretch, relishing the slow pull of my muscles, the quick pop of my bones, and the wonderful aroma of lemony cleanliness after being shut up on the inside of another hellish cell for ten whole sondits.
Don't care. I'm home. I slide my hands under the pillow and bury my face deeper. I nuzzle it and flinch when I stretch my neck too far, ripping the hardening scab of another reprimand. The thick, deep ring burned into my neck is the only part of me that's still searing. It prickles when I slide the pad of my finger over the rough surface. The circle is the fattest I've been branded so far.
Give me a few more, and I'll have as obnoxious a design as Moon's. I snort quietly.
"Stop touching it. It will scar wrong," says my bedmate into the pillow.
I squint through the dark at the sleeping form and grin. "Oh good, you're awake." I slide closer, slipping limbs between limbs. My leg warms the instant its sandwiched between her thighs. I push Nuna's hair aside and kiss a line from her neck down her shoulder. "I've been gone too long." My fingers, removed from my own scars, traverse the curves of her body. Over her plush expanses, the convex between her legs, the softest part I've memorized with my lips. I've kissed this all before. I studied them again last night. Extensively.
When she flips over and holds my gaze with her dark, glassy eyes, I see her scrutinizing the scar, checking it over as the caregiver-part of her likes to fuss over when I drag myself back from another fouled trip. Or get dragged back. Last night, I was glad to be walking home on my own two feet for once.
She lifts a hand and cups my cheek just above the reprimand. "I'm starting to believe you like getting caught."
"Makes coming home pretty fun." I lean in and capture her lips.
My hand slides between us. Her body rolls with pleasure as I glide over all the triggers that make her melt. It didn't take long to figure out Nuna's tough exterior was a brilliant distraction for the puddle of mush she's hiding inside. Only after a girl finds her hard-to-reach buttons, of course. Once we jumped into bed together that first drunken night, it was easy discovery from there.
Her breathing quickens as I find her rhythm. I kiss her open mouth, swallowing her moans. She reaches around to my back to massage the particular spot on my scales that I find most arousing. Two fingers pressed between my shoulder blades has become my new favorite erogenous zone.
Moon never said the scales could do that. Maybe he's never found it because he never lets anyone close enough to test it out on him.
Don't want to think about that idiot now. Not with Nuna's fingers sending me to heaven.
She presses down and the long stretch of blue scales that cover my spine. The scales flip up and I'm sparked to life, charged like a bolt of lightning struck me between the legs. I throw my head back and moan. She pets my scales with one hand, long, languid strokes and divine, brutal pressure while inserting three fingers inside me.
She wants to kiss me, but I can't stop the moan that bursts from my throat as I climax.
I barely register the sound of the door swooshing open.
"You've been fucking all night," Moon says with sharp irritation. "I've had to endure your animalistic coupling since we returned from port. Can you please spare me the horror for one morning?"
"Too late." I trail kisses down Nuna's neck as I pant into her skin.
"Go away," Nuna commands from over my shoulder. She rubs her hands up and down my arms to quell my post-coital shaking.
Moon sits on the edge of my bed. "Let me see it."
I roll my eyes and extract myself from Nuna's embrace. She leans back into the pillow, her impatience heavy in her brow.
Sitting up and scooting toward where Moon occupies my bed, I lift the black strands of my wild bed-hair, twisting it and exposing the shaved sides of my scalp to the chilled room. He inspects the healing scar.
"Does it hurt?" He taps it.
I flinch. "Ow! Holy shit. Does this hurt, asshole?" I backhand him in the neck right in his own healing scar.
He doesn't move, but glowers with his single eye.
"Teeno's. Now. Or you'll both have brig duty." Moon pivots and evacuates, his long coat flipping dramatically behind him.
I grope around the floor for the boot that I remember kicking off near my pillow when Nuna and I tumbled home last night. I grab it by the heel and chuck it after him, barely missing his head. It thuds against the opposite bulkhead of the corridor before the door closes and we're once again wrapped in darkness.
The bright stars outside my enormous window provide just enough illumination to make out Nuna's deep frown in the dark.
"You both must stop that."
"He started it. No one invited him in here. He can't just go into any room he wants whenever he wants to irritate people."
"He's the captain."
"It's an abuse of power."
She wraps her arms around my waist. "Let's try to cheer each other up."
"I need a shower." I shove off, Moon's mood putting me in my own snit. The blanket drops to the bed. I redirect the sensors in my scales to shut off, numbing myself to all sensory perceptions. What was once alive with the million sensations of the room deadens. I feel nothing, experience nothing as if my body is encapsulated by a forcefield protecting me from my environment.
She leans back on her elbows and huffs. "Why do you let him affect you like that?"
"I don't know what you're talking about." I step into my bathroom, the door snapping shut behind me.
Part of me wants to invite Nuna in with me, to keep up our fleshy feast. But after Moon's invasion, all I want to do is violently scrub the scab off so I can go back to ignoring the growing pattern on my neck.
This was supposed to be our morning together. We were going to spend it getting reacquainted with each other's bodies. I was going to kiss her, feed her berries sent up from the kitchen. I'd lick the tart juice off her neck if they popped before they reached her mouth.
We were going to sleep, our limbs entwined until we couldn't untangle them.
Before stepping under the stream of water, I sigh. I miss her hands already.
In these nearly two-thousand clyks aboard the HMS Valediction, I still haven't built up a resistance to Moon's idiocy.
I need to make amends. This isn't how I wanted my homecoming to be.
When I pop my head back into my room to invite her in, the bed is empty. Her clothes are gone. Mine still lie in piles around the floor.
Fuck it.
After my shower, I stand naked in the middle of my cabin, water dripping off my hair as I twist it into a single, soaked braid from the top of my head all the way to the middle of my back. The shaved sides are slick with moisture. I rub them with a towel, avoiding the pattern of circles, lines, and half-moon scars that reach from behind my right ear down to my shoulder. My criminal record grows more and more prevalent on my skin.
I dress in my powdery blue slacks with matching officer's jacket pinching the smallest part of my waist. The silver buttons are polished and gleaming—just the way Teeno demands—to match the silver rings I've added up the cuff of my ear. My fully-charged glucker handgun is holstered on my thigh, just in case Moon flings me into another mission without warning again.
Peering out into the hall, I find my boot on its side in the middle of the passageway.
"Good morning, Lorn." Ledi's pleasant voice rings around the space above my head. "I take it you and First Mate Kinnwah slept well?"
"Didn't do much sleeping, Ledi."
"I'll prepare the coffee." The voice disappears and the regular noises of HMS Valediction crescendo in its place.
I snatch my boot from the hall and return to my bed to slip it on. Leaving the laces for later, I cross the large expanse of my cabin to another door. Turning on the monitor, I grin.
Still out cold.
He's a hard sleeper—just like me.
My approach is quiet—the doors swoosh open and I gently plop down on the bed next to my son. Ledi turns on the warm lights that mimic a quick and glowy sunrise.
"'Morning, Hux" I brush back a thick strand of black hair covering his eyes crusted with sleep. "I'm home."
He smiles in his half-sleep. Raising his arm, he wraps it around my neck and pulls me in. He's so warm.
"It's time to get up, kiddo." I'll never get over how much I sound like Simon in our morning rituals. "Time to visit Uncle Teeno for a morning meeting."
He groans and rolls over, shutting me out.
Yep. Definitely my kid.
I throw the blankets off his body. "Let's go, Hux."
He curls up in a small ball when the chilly air hits his bare feet. With his single arm, he taps around to find the blanket and drag it back over his body.
"Oh no. We've got a lot of big plans for today."
"Three hundred blips." He holds up his little hand and splays his fingers in the air. "Three hundred, okay?"
"Nice try." I scoop him up in my arms and blow raspberries on his neck.
Dissolving into a fit of full-belly laughter, he relents and slides out of my grasp, landing in a puddle on the blue carpet. He gazes up at me with green eyes that are so much brighter than mine and smiles, his laughter subsiding. Finally, he rises and begins his morning ritual.
As much as I've needed him, it only took him a couple of clyks to be completely independent of me. My guess is Moon had a hand in that.
Once dressed in his own blue uniform that Uncle Teeno had made especially for him, Hux faces me. For the first time, I realize he's missing a big chunk of smile.
"Where's your tooth?" I hold his chin.
"Nuna has it."
"What did she do with it?"
He laughs. "I don't know."
"Are you two up to something?"
He laughs again. "No."
I sweep him up in my arms and rest him against my hip. "We'll find the missing tooth. But first, breakfast."
We emerge into the hallway. As soon as we enter, the jumble of HMS Valediction chatter accosts us. It's a clamor that feels like peace. I relish it. It's footfalls of men and women at work in their designated tasks. Cleaning crews pass and nod as we walk by. Smiles greet us. They wave to Hux and tell me they're glad to have me back. I respond with a forced enthusiasm. This is still new. I'm not used to pleasantries and I don't think I'll ever be comfortable with it. But if this is the price for raising Hux in the safety of the HMS Valediction, I'll pay it. Fake joy and all. Especially in my new line of work, I'll do whatever it takes to keep Hux out of harm's way.
On our journey to Teeno's penthouse on the other side of the ship, we slip into the kitchens. Not because I want to. I've avoided them, knots of anxiety coiling up in my gut every time I see a stovetop, a set of knives, or a boiling pot. The only reason I come anywhere near this part of the ship is to feed my son and pick up John from his favorite hiding spot.
"Let's go," I shout into the room as I push the swinging door open a crack. Someone hands me a tightly knit bundle. I nod in thanks and hand the bundle to Hux's while shifting him higher on my hip.
It only takes seconds for John's clanking to pierce the sounds of normal kitchen noises. I hear his gauges releasing, his tik tik tik tik against titanium appliances. A squeak from an unsuspecting prep cook alerts me that he's out. The doors flap open. John appears, smiling at me with his child-drawn, painted face. The tin plate I welded to a gold stake and stuck through the stub of his neck twists to appear as though he's grinning at me. It was Hux's idea. And he's right—it makes John appear much more approachable, in my opinion. Moon still refuses to allow John to occupy any space within viewing distance.
I whisper to John's smiley-face plate. "Moon's in a foul mood. See if you can poke him when he's not looking."
The plate spins around on its axis until the frowning face appears.
"Fine. It was just an idea. I hate that you take his side now."
Together, John, Hux, and I traverse the ship. We take up the berth of the corridors, people shoving themselves up against the walls as we pass.
We arrive at the double-doors of Teeno's quarters. Ledi slides them open to let us enter, the shimmering of Teeno's treasures blind me as I wander over to take my seat, Hux rushing to his personal corner filled with coloring supplies to occupy him while we meet. He sits down and unwraps his bundled breakfast.
I sink into the blue seat and listen to John's gears settle to his relaxed state behind me. In my peripherals, I see the top of his plated head behind my shoulder. To my satisfaction, he points his smiley face in Moon's direction.
Nuna meets my gaze from across the room, she immediately turns her face to give me her profile. Her gaze focuses on a treasure on the other side of the meeting space as if it was the most interesting object in the world.
Moon chuckles from his perched place on her chair's arm. "Lover's quarrel already? This might be a new record for you two."
"Maybe if someone would learn to use the..." I check Hux's interest in our conversation over my shoulder. "Eff-ing intercoms instead of busting in and ruining a perfectly good moment, she wouldn't be so pissed at me."
Ledi lowers a cup of black coffee to my armrest from the ceiling.
Nuna raises her sharp brow in my direction. "Yes. Because all you need is another barrier to erect around you."
"How about locked doors, then? Ones our good and considerate captain can't unhinge whenever he feels like being a nuisance?"
Moon sneers.
Teeno steps into the meeting space from his bedroom. "Oh, wonderful! Everyone is here. Lorn, my dear. Welcome back."
"Uncle Teeno!" Hux leaps from his place in the corner and charges, slamming his tiny body against Teeno who had crouched down to accept the mighty embrace.
"Good morning, Hux!" Teeno combed back the mop of black hair on my son's head. "Are you going to spend the day with me today?"
He shook his head vigorously. "Mommy said today is for me day."
Teeno grins up at me. "Is that so?"
I nod and sink back into the seat, Teeno doing that thing where he instantly puts me at ease. "It's good to be home."
Patting Hux on the back to shoo him to his coloring corner, Teeno straightens and fixes himself a cup of coffee from his sidebar. "It was terribly unfortunate how the last retrieval drop-off. What should have been a quick and easy transaction turned into a two-clyk escapade and a stint in port prison. Captain, could you please explain how this next retrieval will not end as badly as the last one?"
I chime in, leaning forward with my elbows resting on my knees. "Sorry, Teeno. By 'bad', do you mean Moon getting so sloshed, he mistook the captain of the port's guard for our contact and therefore starting a full-on brawl with half the harbor police? Because that was 'stupid'. Not 'bad'."
Teeno frowns. "Lorn, my dear, semantics are not what matters. What matters is that we still haven't moved our previous assets. They're sitting in our docks, unloaded. Our patron is becoming impatient."
"Let me go alone," I say. "I can do this. I know him. He knows me. I don't need Moon babysitting me anymore."
Teeno throws his head back and laughs. "You are sweet. You do realize the arrangement is the other way around?"
Moon glares at Teeno. "I don't need her to keep track of me. She's more of a disaster than I am."
"Nuna?" Teeno turns to the first mate. "Would you—"
"No." She doesn't look at me, but the angry fleck of her voice tells me that her argument is purely based on how she feels about me right now. "I am needed here."
Teeno shrugs. "You think you can do this alone?"
I sit taller. "Absolutely. John and I are on it."
"I'll be waiting at the console for your distress call." Moon stands and strides over to the bar cart, pouring himself a few fingers of Teeno's scotch. "And then I'll ignore it because I hope this time they lock you up and keep you there forever. What she has conveniently forgotten to mention, Teeno, is that she was unable to stop the altercation between the guard and myself because she was too busy starting her own brawl with a group of merchants three tables over. Over a bad hand in cards, I believe."
I avoid reacting. I refuse to give him that satisfaction.
"Obviously neither of you are capable of performing this task alone, but you are equally incapable of doing it together." He spins in his seat to face Nuna.
"No," she says flatly.
"Well, I must say, I was hopeful that my day-to-day business interactions were behind me," he stretches, cracking his knuckles together. "But it looks as though I will be joining you and profusely apologizing to Zenner myself."
609 clyks. 609 fucking clyks in this job and they still can't trust me to perform on my own. It's supposed to be my role on this ship, the part I'm supposed to play that will keep us floating through space harmoniously until the day I die by someone else's blasts or my own crumbling decay. I can't understand why they won't let me do it alone. It's my contribution. It's my job.
But there's no ability to argue with Teeno. I am no commander anymore, after all. "Yes, sir."
I stand to depart, John clicking to life behind me.
By the time I've turned my back to the three, Teeno clears his throat. "Lorn. Stay a second. I think you might want to hear this."
I pause, John tittering beside me.
The cushions squeak when Teeno stands. "Ledi," he calls out to the room. "Playback the message from this morning."
Loud static fills the room.
"Mayday. Mayday."
My heart stops.
"This is Commander Freyer of ARC9. We are in need of immediate assistance."