CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT
My body slides across the couch and flops against the cushion. I snuggle into the plush cushion and sigh. Something warm is draped across my body and I smile.
Tori appears at the end of the couch with a jug of iced tea.
"Keep napping because everything is okay! Paris is sound asleep and I'm taking London outside so that she doesn't wake you up."
"Thank you so much!" I grin.
Can't believe the most exciting part of my day is when I get to nap. I snuggle under the blankets and drift to sleep. On the upside, at least I don't struggle getting to sleep anymore.
London squeals and I jolt awake.
"Shh, Ava's trying to sleep inside."
I push myself upright and stagger onto my feet. The room spins as I saunter down the hallway and into our bedroom. Blake peers over the blanket, then lifts it up for me. I dive under the cover and sprawl across the bed.
"I thought you wanted to keep an eye on Tori?"
"I do, but I can't keep my eyes open any longer." I groan.
Blake subtly laughs, so I poke his ribs.
"There's no more breast milk in the fridge, so she's all yours when she wakes."
"I think we should invest in formula. Being a moo-moo cow is tiring. I'm pretty sure she's sucking the energy out of my body instead of milk."
"We can put her on formula if you want."
"She can have both, can't hurt, right?"
"London was formula fed and she turned out alright."
"Alright?" I gasp. "She's more than alright."
* * * * *
Blake shakes my shoulder and I slap his hand away. I roll across the bed and tumble to the floor. As I push myself up, I shake my head and wander out of the room. I bounce off the wall and somehow make it into the living room.
By this point, Paris isn't crying and I sigh with relief.
London drags her feet across the ground as he wanders into the lounge room. Tori hauls the tea party kit inside and places it on the dining table.
"I'm tired." She huffs.
"Would you like to have a rest?" I suggest.
"I need a nap."
Tori grabs London's hand and guides her into the hallway, while I dive onto the couch. I squish my face into the cushion and yawn.
Paris cries, so I drag myself into her room and scoop her out the cot. Her cries grow louder, soI race into the lounge room and plonk on the chair. I whip up my shirt and stick her on the boob. I flop against the chair and sigh as she happily suckles.
Once she's done, I burp her and a little bit of vomit spills onto my yoga pants. I grumble under my breath but flop into the couch and place her on my chest.
It's going to be awhile until I can enjoy clean clothing.
Tori wanders into the room and takes a seat on the chair. I prop myself up to look alive and awake, but the purple bags under my eyes aren't fooling anyone.
"She's beautiful! I remember when London was that size."
I'm surprised she can remember since she wasn't around much.
"Thank you! She's already growing and it's freaking me out." I chuckle. "I want her to stay little forever, but I also can't wait until she's older and I don't feel like a zombie anymore."
"It's scary how quick they grow!"
"Tell me about it." I sigh. "How's things going with you?"
"Everything's been good, busy, but good!"
"I'm happy to hear that! How's therapy going?"
"It's." She fiddles with her fingers and sighs. "It's hard. Blake doesn't want to come anymore, and I understand, but I think it's because I scared him away. I hate messing things up between us."
"You didn't scare him away, he just didn't know why he was there. He's left high school and your relationship in the past, plus we were trying to prepare for Paris."
"Deep down, I know it's all in the past, I think I was looking for a distraction. So I'm clinging to the past, especially a happier time, because I can't deal with living without Logan."
"To be honest, I assumed the same thing."
"II thought I dealt with it, but clearly I haven't."
"From what I've learned about grief and pain, it's that it'll never go away. There's always something that lingers, that feeling you can never shake. So you manage those feelings the best you can and you keep moving forward."
"Alright." She nods.
"Whatever you do, don't live in the past. Logan is never coming back and nobody will ever replace him, so focus on the future and what you have in front of you. London is growing up so quickly, she needs you now, and I don't want you to miss anything else in her life."
"You're right about everything, which is why I keep going back to get help. I want, no, I need to be a good mother to London."
"I'm glad to hear that." I smile. "Things will get better, I mean, they already are."
"Thank you, Ava."
"You're welcome to stay a little longer! You can watch some tv and there's food in the fridge, but I'm putting Paris to bed and getting whatever sleep I can." I chuckle.
"I'll stay for a little longer."
"No worries."
"While you're sleeping, I'll take care of Paris for you. It's the least I can do after all you've done for me and London."
"Thank you, Tori, the help is always appreciated!"
"What do you fancy for dinner? I'll cook something up for all of us."
"I have no idea what's in the cupboard, so whatever works is good enough for me." I laugh.
Tori wanders into the kitchen while I take Paris to her room.
It's weird having Tori take care of us, but it's nice to know good things happen.
I almost forgot because this long weekend threw me off! Hope you enjoyed the chapter.