Time Skip - 3 Weeks Later - October 29th. 2015
ANASTASIA'S POV:
Confession.
A formal statement that one is guilty of a crime.
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Three weeks had past by in the blink of an eye. That was the easiest way to process everything that had gone on behind the scenes.
Besides Matthew going home and beginning work after another week at home, I had gone through countless meetings for both my legal companies and my illegal companies. School wasn't terrible, but it wasn't enjoyable either. It was merely an added hurdle I had to jump in my life.
Last week though, it was the twins third birthday. They both had their own little parties. We had rented out McDonalds for the day, and half of the fast food restaurant was princess themed, while the other half was dinosaur themed.
Courtney had six girls and four boys at her side of the party, while Dylan had seven boys and three girls at his party. They had different themed events, but by the time we cut the cake and opened gifts the two parties had became one.
My biological brothers still had no clue about Courtney or Dylan, which I appreciated. It made my hectic life somewhat simple, as I could avoid the conversation of Courtney and Dylan, which would ultimately slide into other, deeper, harder conversation topics that I am not ready to talk about yet.
Now though, at the end of October I had promised Nathan and Matthew that I would come to dinner, and so I had to follow through. I knew the twins, Jackson and Mason, wanted to talk to me tonight, just like Matthew wanted to do.
And so I know that tonight can only turn out one of two ways.
Either really good with our relationships on their way to be fixed, or really bad with me never wanting to talk to my brothers again.
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That Night
Deciding to keep my outfit casual for the night, I grabbed a lose fitted white crop top and paired it with a pair of high-waisted, skinny, light blue colored jeans that had rips from the knees to mid-thigh. I had decided to wear a pair of solid white tennis shoes that matched my shirt. And because it was almost November in Wisconsin, I added a thick, dark red colored cardigan that was down near my shins. It made my simple outfit pop.
ANSTASIA'S OUTFIT IN THE IMAGE ABOVE
Knowing that if I took too much longer, I'd be late to dinner, I grabbed my small black purse that I always wore, along with a small hand gun that I tucked into the back of my pants after checking to make sure the safety was on. Inside my purse held a few small throwing knives, another hand gun (all of which were hidden), I had a small pack of tissues, some hair ties, my phone, license, and some cash on me.
Leaving my room, I walked down the hall towards the staircase, where I walked down the stairs and entered the living room. All my friends and babies were waiting for me.
"Mom-Ana." Courtney cheered, making grabby-hands towards me.
"Hi, sweet girl." I smiled, picking her up and placing her on my hip.
"Mom-Ana go out?" she asked me.
"Yes, baby. I'm gonna go out and meet some people." I told her.
"We come?" Dylan asked me from inside Luke's arms.
"No baby." I shook my head, "This is a meeting that sissy has to do alone, but when I get home, we'll cuddle before bed. I promise."
"Okay." both Courtney and Dylan sighed sadly.
"You guys get to have fun with the best babysitters around, Luke, Wyatt, and Max." I tried cheering them up.
"Yeah, we'll have dinner, watch movies, and have ice cream too." Max cheered happily.
"Ice cream?" Dylan asked, his eyebrows furrowing.
"Yep, we got Mom-Ana's approval." Wyatt informed the twins, who were now grinning ear to ear.
"Yay!" Courtney clapped her hands excitedly.
"Now, I'm gonna give you to Wy-Wy, okay Court?" I asked her.
"Okay, Mom-Ana." she gave my cheek a quick slobbery kiss.
"Thank you, sweet girl." I told her with a laugh as Wyatt grabbed onto Courtney and pulled her into his arms gently.
"I kiss too?" Dylan asked with a pout on his face.
"Sure baby." I smiled and leaned my cheek down by his face.
Dylan quickly gave me a slobbery kiss as well, "Thank you, my sweet bubby."
"I better get going, but I'll see you guys tonight." I told the group, "And girls... good luck with your jobs for the night."
"Thanks Ana." Jamie smiled.
The Smith Residence, 6:30 PM
Pulling into the driveway, I sighed heavily as my hands begin to shake. The house looked the same on the outside. The small creamy white color, with dead flower beds, filled with small weeds poking out everywhere. The grass was cut not that long ago, as it was mostly short. There were three cars in the driveway, two of which I remember belonging to Matthew and James. The third car must be either the twins or Nathan's car.
The house in front of me was not only part of my worst nightmare, but part of some of the best memories I had when I was younger.
My younger, child self would run through the yard screaming with joy as her brothers raced after her. The younger version of myself, would run out to hug her parents after they returned each day from work.
The younger version of myself after my parents died, would scream and cry down the house, hurt from the pain of a harsh smack or kick. The younger version of myself after my parents died, would cry from the physical, emotional, and mental torture I was subjected to. The younger version of myself after my parents died, would hold a watery smile with tears rushing down her face because she was protecting her older brother.
She would go through the pain and suffering, just so no one else had to.
This house was my own personal torture chamber, and I didn't know how I'd survive dinner without crumbling and cracking under the pressure of the past.
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Pushing my thoughts down into the deepest part of my brain, I ignored the rational part of my brain that was screaming at me to leave, to run, to turn around and never come back.
Instead I sighed, staring at the horror house in front of me. Then I got out of the safety of my car, walked up the driveway, and head towards the front door.
Before I could knock on the door, Jackson had already opened the door for me with a happy grin placed on his face, "Hey Anastasia."
"Hi, Jackson." I gave him a tight-lipped smile as the painful memories swirled around in my head.
"Come in." Jackson opened the door wider.
"You first. I'll follow." I told him.
If he was in front of me I'd be able to see a hit coming from him miles away. I wasn't letting my guard down, not tonight. I don't see myself trusting them enough to be vulnerable in front of them for a long time.
"Oh-sure. Right this way, please close the door behind you." he spoke, his smile fading at my response.
"Okay." I sighed, shutting the door softly behind me.
I remember the times where the door would slam shut loudly and it would result in a hit, punch, or kick. The door making loud sounds never ended well for me, nothing I did ever ended up well for me in this house after my parents died.
Trying my hardest to stay floating inside my own mess of thoughts, I gently pinched my skin on my palm, hoping the slight pain would keep me present in time, and not lost in my thoughts of the horrible past.
I watched and silently followed as Jackson led me into the kitchen, where no one was.
"Jackson?" I questioned, after he stopped walking but didn't turn around.
"Look-" Jackson sighed heavily, finally turning around and meeting my eyes, "I'm a jackass, okay? You can call me Jackass Jackson. I'm also a dumbass, if we're being honest right now. I'm a lot of not good things. I'm trying to be better though, I'm not perfect, but I'm trying, and I hope you can see that. So I'm sorry, so damn sorry for every single evil thing I have ever done to you."
"Jackson?" I questioned again, after his speech ended.
"I'm trying Anastasia, I really am." he told me, "I want you to see that I'm not the same guy I was two years ago, I'm not the same guy I was a year ago, I'm not the same guy I was four months ago, but I'm not perfect. I'm trying to get better, and I know that I've done so much wrong in your life. Please, Anastasia, I want to rebuild a relationship with my little sister. I want to be the brother I was supposed to be. I will never regret anything in life as much as I regret how poorly I've treated you."
I stared at him for two minutes in utter silence. Neither of us moved, our eyes stayed locked to each other, our bodies were rooted in place, and our mouths were glued shut before I finally uttered out a single word, "Okay."
"Okay?" Jackson questioned, "What does that mean?"
"It means that I know you've been changing into a better person, otherwise you would have never admitted your faults as a person that we both know you have." I told him, "So okay, I'll give you a chance to rebuild the bond between us, but we start small. Conversations with other people around, hanging out in large friend groups, that kind of thing."
"Thank you so much Anastasia." Jackson shouted excitedly, "Can I hug you?"
"Just this once, only a short hug."
And as his arms wrapped around my body, and my head rested on his chest, I realized that Jackson truly had changed into a much better person.
He still had so much more work left, but for the first time in a long time, I can see a sliver of the old Jackson present.
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It was less than fifteen minutes later, with Jackson, Nathan, Matthew, Mason, and I all sitting together on the couch in the living room. The living room held all different furniture than it did two years ago when I lived here. I liked it.
It helped the bad memories feel less present in the house.
There was a black leather couch that had taken place of the old tan fabric covered couch, two black arm chairs that had taken place of some old tan colored ones, and a dark brown coffee table that took place of a lighter brown coffee table. Pictures hung on the walls, some of all of us, some individuals, some of our parents.
But I noticed that Michael, my second oldest brother, and I had our own little sectionx of photos on the wall.
I kept my observations to myself, not wanting to talk about such a topic.
And then Mason spoke up, talking directly to me, "Anastasia, can we go talk? In private please?"
"Uh-yeah, I guess." I gave Nathan a confused look, to which he answered with one back.
Nathan didn't know what was going on either.
I got off the couch, sighing as I did so- that new couch was really comfy- and followed Mason into the kitchen where I had promised Jackson a chance to redeem himself less than a half an hour prior to this.
"So, what's this about?" I raised an eyebrow, leaning on the wall next to me, as my arms crossed over my chest.
"I wanted to talk with you. I-I'm not sure if Jack talked to you yet or not-" I quickly cut him off.
"He did. But what does that have to do with what you wanted to talk about?"
"I know that just an apology will never forgive what I've put you through, but I think it's a start, so, I wanted to apologize to you for my previous actions first." Mason informed me, his eyes not once leaving my own-
"I'm sorry that I treated you so shitty, Anastasia, I have no excuse for why I treated you so shitty, and even if I did, it still wouldn't have been reason enough. I'm working to become a better human, a better brother. I've needed to change for a long time now, and even though I've finally started, I'm no where near acceptable enough to count as a decent human being." he told me, his hands digging into his pockets as he began fidgeting around, "I hope someday, in the future, whenever you're ready, we can become acquaintances because I'd love to get to know the new you, and have you get to know the new me."
I smiled up at him.
"You know, Mase?" I asked, "You've changed, maybe not as much as you want, but change takes time. You've grown enough to show me that there's a very small chance I could have an older brother back. You have, Jackson has, and Matthew has. I'm not promising anything, because I really don't know you anymore, but I'd love to get to know this new Mason, like I'm getting to know the new Jackson, Matthew, and Nathan."
"Really?" he asked me, disbelief written on his face.
"Absolutely." I nodded, "Just remember that I don't trust you enough to fully restore our relationship yet, the only one who's gained that privilege is Nathan. So I make no promises on what the future looks like for a sibling bond that we may or may not have."
"I wouldn't expect anything different from you, Anastasia." he smiled at me, "Now James should be home with the takeout soon, so we better get back out to the living room."
"After you, Mase." a small smile planted itself across my face.
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James had pulled into the driveway less than a minute after we sat back down on the couch. He walked through the door with Chinese takeout from our favorite takeout restaurant back when we were children.
We ate dinner with decent conversation and no arguments for about thirty minutes before everyone was done with their dinner. Then I held a few quick conversations with Matthew, Nathan, Jackson, and Mason, with James watching our every move.
I pretended to not notice the longing in James' eyes, after all, it was his own fault for him being in this predicament. I know he lost his parents at only eighteen years old and it was hard on him, but I was only seven when I lost mine.
Somehow though, I felt the courage and strength to not give up and take the easy way out of life's many problems.
"Look, it's getting late. It's after seven o'clock and I have other responsibilities I still need to take care of, but it was wonderful getting together. We'll have to do it again sometime, yeah?" I spoke after the conversations began to slow down.
It was wonderful to spend time with my brothers, but I was tired of having my guard up, waiting for a sudden slap, kick, punch, or shout. I wanted to be able to go home, do some school work and business work, before cuddling with my babies, and maybe even have some girl talk tonight with my best friends.
That's all I really wanted right now.
"It was wonderful having you Anastasia." James surprisingly spoke, "I think I can speak for everybody when I say that we'd love for you to come back."
"We'll see." I smiled tightly.
I didn't want to come back here, not for a long time, if ever.
"Walk me out, Nate?" I asked, grabbing my purse off the couch.
"Sure." Nathan smiled happily.
As we walked out of the house, I sighed out in relief. I was so glad to be out of the suffocating house that was now in the background.
"How was it?" Nathan asked, "Answer honestly."
"It was... interesting." I told him.
"Interesting how?" he asked in reply.
"Obviously you knew about Matthew and I slowly beginning to repair our relationship." I started.
"Yeah..."
"So Jackson let me into the house, right?" Nathan nodded his head at my question and I continued, "Well, we talked by ourselves for a few minutes and he apologized, then we came to a mutual agreement that we'd try to restart our relationship."
"That's good, right?" Nathan questioned, "I mean, you told me before that you eventually wanted to have a civil relationship with all of us at the very least, so taking this step is a good thing, right?"
"I think so." I spoke hesitantly, "I mean, of course I want my older brothers back. There has been more than one occasion where I've wished I could turn back the clock to before everything went down, and I could just be a kid running around with her brothers."
"I'm sensing a 'but' right about here..." Nathan trailed off.
"But-" I chuckled before continuing, "What happens if I just end up disappointed in the end and everything they told me was a lie? I don't want to expose myself to that pain again, Nate, I just want my life back."
"I don't know how everything is going to work out, Ana." he told me, "Just know that I'll always be here with you, every single step of the way. I'll never leave you again, Ana."
"Thanks Nate."
I yanked him into a tight hug.
With my best friends, babies, and Nate by my side, somewhere deep inside of me knows that I'll be okay.
I'll make it out alive.
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Author's Note -
Here's the twentieth chapter of "Run-Away Little Sister: Hurting". It's different than the original version and we're sadly still behind the original (still slowly catching up though).
Ana did chose to have dinner with her brothers, wanting to create a civil relationship with her brothers. After all, she is still a teenage girl who wants nothing more than some normalcy in her abnormal life.
Let me know what you all think about this chapter. And make sure you all comment, vote (by clicking the star), and share this story with those who might like it.
Thank you for reading!
-michaelaloveswriting
Original Version Published: January 1st. 2020
Edited Version Published: June 28th. 2022