Merlin has dementia. He was diagnosed with it about 2 years ago, and ever since his memories have slowly been fading. Now, he can't remember anything. Well, almost anything. He still remembers a light. What light, he doesn't know. Just a light. A warm, bright light that he knows he's been waiting for a long time to see again, and he remembers how that light made him feel, he remembers it perfectly. Dementia doesn't erase feelings, you know.
Anyway, Merlin was going about his day, which wasn't much. He lived in a retirement home. Merlin wasn't allowed to be fully alone, since he might get hurt, but they don't assist in his living style. This is good, because one thing Merlin has never forgotten, is his magic. Why? He doesn't know, nor why no one else seems to have it, but he does know he was supposed to hide it. It's all he remembers ever doing, keeping his magic a secret, so that's what he continues to do.
No one knows of it, not even his closest friend, who he isn't actually that close with. Merlin didn't know why, however, he wasn't close with this person. It just seems as if something was holding him back, something he couldn't place, figure out. It was bothering him.
This man Merlin was friends with was so nice, so generous... but that didn't seem to matter with Merlin. There was always something keeping him from truly finding a connection, so one day he gave up, and now, he's basically forgotten him.
Merlin also decided he wouldn't try and push himself to remember that feeling of missing something in his life. It was such a lonely feeling he actually wanted to forget it, but no such luck. The feeling followed him wherever he went, no matter what.
Today, Merlin wanted to get out of the house, so he became his young self once more. He didn't do this often, it was like a painful memory for him, yet he still didn't know why. When he did, though, he used it to his full potential. This body was young, he could move around with little to no pain. He actually quite preferred this body, a lot, but there was always that pit in his stomach. It's what kept him from using it more often.
Merlin packed a small backpack of stuff and headed out of the home, planning a nice, relaxing time at the lake nearby.
Merlin always felt so... drawn to this particular lake. The exhilarating feeling of just being by it made him feel whole, it made that hole of dispare disappear, and, instead, replaced it with the feeling of hope, and love. It was strange, really. It felt so familiar, yet so distant. Like something he hadn't experienced in a very, very long time. That's probably why he went there so often. But it also made him sad. He knew something was missing in his life, and when he visited the lake, it only made that feeling worse. Merlin even tried to sit at a different body of water once. Hated every minute of it.
Merlin was snapped out of his thoughts when he bumped into somebody. He turned abruptly and picked up his bag, apologizing to the girl he accidentally knocked. They went their separate ways, Merlin leaving incredibly embarrassed. He felt bad, he hoped he didn't hurt her in any way. Actually she was kind of cute, but he didn't notice.
Merlin finally arrived at the lake. He sat down on his usual bench. It had the perfect view of the water, and he could see the mountains in the back. It was so peaceful, he never wanted to leave. The serene silence and isolation from civilization was nice, he overly cherished it. People were just so... obnoxious, and loud, and just too much. It reminded him of someone he used to know... but who that person was... he couldn't remember.
The burden on dementia, sadly, and he only had a mild case. Merlin couldn't imagine what it would be like forgetting almost your entire existence. It sounded like torture. He would always feel so sad when thinking of it, so he tired to avoid it, but that never seemed to last.
Merlin took out his breakfast from his backpack, which was just a banana. He doesn't actually like bananas very much, but he always forgets that. When he grabbed it, he did feel off about it, so, luckily, he brought something extra ; a protein bar.
He began munching on it. Merlin loved his protein bars, that he would never seem to forget. They're not normal protein bars. They're called Z-Bars, and they're delicious. No one could change his mind on it, no matter how many old people complained and lectured him on it.
Merlin was just minding his own business, when he heard some splashing from a few feet away. He paid no mind to it at first, thinking it could just be fish, but as seconds past, it became louder, more aggressive.
Merlin, curious, got up from his seat and approached the sound. Merlin peered down and was shocked to find a hand fumbling for a grip on rocks, sharp rocks. He reacted immediately, not caring who it was, they were clearly in need of assistance, even if he wasn't exactly the ideal person to offer it.
Suddenly, a second hand reached out, then a third and fourth. Four people were down there, all struggling. Merlin was unsure of what to do. His first thought was to call the police, but then he realized he had magic. A lifetime hiding it from everyone you tend to forget... plus the dementia.
Merlin glances around to make sure no one was around before he reached out his hand. He concentrated, waited til he had a firm hold on all four bodies, then slowly moved his hand upwards, lifting them into the air. None of them made any surprised squeal, or you know, scream.
Merlin gently let them down on the grass before running over. "Oh my gosh, are you okay?" He asked frantically, worrying over this skinny blonde in particular. The others we're slowly staring to move, but him... he just lay there.
One name with very blonde hair that was like a curly, messy mop came over and started shaking the man.
"Sire, sire!" He yelled.
Sire... why does that sound so... familiar...
"Arthur!" The man screamed.
Merlin felt a pain in his chest at that name. It was like no other pain he'd had before, and he was old, so he experienced a lot. That name... he knew it from somewhere. That name... it sounded... important.
Merlin stumbled to his feet, grabbing at his chest. A second guy approached mop. This one was really buff with a buzz cut like hair style.
"Just give him a minute, Leon." Buff guy said.
Merlin felt the pain again. Leon... he knew that name. Just like Arthur. But he couldn't remember. He couldn't know them... yeah, that's it, he must just be delusional.
"Gwaine!" Buff guy called out. "Stop lying around and help us!"
Another name he recognized but couldn't place.
"I'm coming, I'm coming." The one called Gwaine mumbled. "Geez, Percival, so bossy."
Percival.. perce... he used to know... but... who?
Merlin stumbled a few steps back again, still clutching his chest, each of those names hitting him hard in the face.
The one unconscious, Arthur, began coughing. He sat up, turned around, and belched out the water he had been harboring in his lungs. The one named Leon hit his back, hard, probably as to help rid of the water.
Arthur finished and turned, looked around, eyes landing on Merlin. He smiled. "Geez, Merlin, you look like you've seen a ghost." He said. Then his face darkened. "Wait... but I died."
"He's right," Leon spoke up. "Camelot... the Queen was ruling, Arthur had died."
"And Gwaine..." Percival muttered, staring at Gwaine like he was becoming invisible.
"I... I died. I failed. Morgana... she tortured me... and I-I..." Gwaine trailed off and looked down.
"I remember everything..." Arthur said, staring at Merlin in awe. Percival suddenly stood up and rushed to Gwaine's side, kneeling with him and hugging him tightly.
"I missed you..." He said. Gwaine hugged back, indicating he felt the same.
Arthur began laughing. "No wonder you look terrified, you sort of are seeing ghosts."
Merlin finally worked up the courage to speak. "I... I don't know what you're talking about." He said. Arthur stopped laughing and gave him a quizzical look.
"What do you mean?"
"I don't know what you mean by anything any of you said. If you two died," Merlin said, pointing at Gwaine and Arthur, "how are you here? And why did you climb out of a lake? What's Camelot?" Merlin asked, despite the place sounding, again, familiar.
Arthur's smile dropped completely, and he looked hurt. "What..."
"Merlin-" Leon started, but was cut off.
"And how do you all of you know my name?" Merlin blurted. Arthur looked shocked, that he might become unconscious again at any moment.
"Merlin, do you... do you know who we are?" Arthur asked. Merlin have a breathy laugh.
"No, no of course not, why would I?"
"You don't remember who we are? You forgot us?" Arthur asked, sounding more angry now, though he was more hurt.
"Look, I'll admit, all your names sound very familiar it actually hurt to hear them... but I have dementia. Either way, I think I would remember guys like you. I mean just look at how your dressed. You're wearing armor!" Merlin said in disbelief.
"What's dementia?" Gwaine asked, holding onto to Percival's hand. Merlin rolled his eyes.
"A mental illness that causes serious memory loss? You don't know about that?" Merlin asked rhetorically. Merlin was getting tired of the stares they were giving him. "Okay, whatever. You're very welcome for saving you, I'm just going to leave now..." Merlin said, starting to back away. Unfortunately, he tripped over a stub in the ground. Arthur snickered.
"You're still clumsy, even with memory loss."
"Excuse me?" Merlin asked, he didn't like how this guy was talking to him. He sounded just a like a dollap-head, and a clot-pole! Okay, those are not a real thing, but if they were they would describe this guy perfectly.
Suddenly, Arthur's face darkened. "You really don't remember us, Merlin?"
"No." Merlin said immediately. "And I think I'm perfectly fine keeping it that way."
"Merlin, my man..." Gwaine said, getting into a standing position. "If you did remember us, you would not feel that way."
"I guess if I did, I wouldn't. But I don't so..."
"Okay, so let us try and re-jog your memory, yeah?" Gwaine asked. Merlin thought for a moment.
"I mean... sure?" He said skeptically.
"Great!" Leon says, also standing up, clasping his hands together. He opens his mouth to speak again then falters. "Uh... how do we do that, exactly?"
"Good question." Percival says. "Maybe we could... recall events that happened?"
"That might work." Leon says while nodding. "Okay, Merlin... how about the time he you made the joke about killing Arthur? Huh?" Leon doubled over in silent laughter, smacking his knee. When he was finished, he glanced at Merlin's face, which was neutral, but a little weirded it out. "No?" He asked with a sigh. Merlin shook his head.
"How about the time we met, eh, Merlin?" Gwaine said with a smile, nudging him. "You helped me become the knight I am today!" He said proudly, clapping Merlin on the back. "You're a good man, Merlin, a great one. You can fight this... uh, "dementia," you're better than it."
"Not quite how it works but thanks anyway." Merlin said with a face full of amused confusion.
Gwaine shrugged. "Ah well, I tried. Who's next?" He asked. Percical stood up and walked over to Merlin, giving him a warm smile.
"I'll admit, I'm not as close with you as the other three here, but I think I know what kind of man you are." Percival gestured to Merlin's figure. "The Merlin I knew stood for what was right, noble. The Merlin I knew was always good, and kind to us, no matter how much we teased you. Course you weren't scared to tease back, which I loved about you. You would never pass up the opportunity to mock Arthur, in fact you would do it even if Arthur had done nothing. You rejoiced in it." Percival ranted.
"While that's all very sweet, it's not helping the so-called "memories" I have." Merlin said. Percival sighed at looked at Arthur.
"Your turn." He said. Arthur glanced at Merlin, smiled shyly, then sighed, stood up, and sat down on the grass. He pat the space beside him. Merlin realized what he was trying to say and joined him. Arthur looked at Merlin with a face so full emotion, it caught Merlin off guard. And it looked... so familiar...
Scenes of what seemed to be Arthur lying in Merlin's arms flashed through his mind. He was crying in those images, he could feel the sadness... but Merlin didn't mention anything.
"Elyan." Arthur said. The pain in Merlin's chest started again. "Gwen." He continued. "Morgana." The pain increased. "Gaius... Lancelot..." That's it. He couldn't take it anymore. The pain was too great, so agonizing, he couldn't hear anymore.
"Stop." Merlin said, grabbing his chest. "S-stop."
"You were there for my death, Merlin." Arthur persisted. "This lake is Lake Avalon, my final resting place. You held me in your arms as I died."
"Stop!" Merlin screamed, becoming more frantic as the pain become unbearable.
"We had so many adventures together, Merlin. You saved my life countless times. With your magic." Arthur said. Merlin gasped.
"H-how did you-"
"I found out on the day of my death. You told me about your magic. You showed me. We talked about how you never sought credit, despite how many times it was taken from you. I told you I didn't want you to change, Merlin. I want you to be you forever." Arthur ranted.
"Th-there's no way. I've told no one about my magic. No one. I- how did you find out? Have you been stalking me? You want to use me-"
"No, Merlin." Arthur cut him off. "I wouldn't. I would never." Leon snickered. "At least not anymore. Before I met you I was a prat, a clot-pole and dollap-head, if you please. You changed that, changed me. I'm a better man now, more than I ever was. You were my first ever real friend, even if you were my man servant. That's besides the point. You were... are, close to my heart."
Merlin doubled over in pain, his suffering finally becoming too much. But Arthur wasn't done.
Arthur leant down next to Merlin, right near his ear. "'I have to tell you something... I've never said to you before..." He whispered. "Thank you..."
Merlin screamed. The memories flashing in his mind at a rapid pace, his brain unable to keep up. Images of the fun and teasing over their years, the countless times Merlin saved Arthur's pampered butt. Lancelot and Elyan and Morgana and Freya and the numerous others who had left him. The Great Dragon flashed in his mind, his father, his mother, best friend, village. Gaius... and Arthur's death. The moment replaced in his head over and over again, causing him almost as much sadness and agony now then when it had actually happened. The words Arthur said to him, the confessions and pleads he uttered. The love he felt for his king, and overwhelming sense of pride he had for the man that led Camelot to greatness. The man who released the sword in stone ; Excalibur. They all came back to him. He remembered it all, every single last detail.
Merlin looked up at his friends that he now recognized, grief, disbelief, and happiness all at the same time plastered on his face, his features. His eyes lit up as he trailed them over the knights before him.
"Is it... i-is it really you guys?" He asked, tears staring to form in his eyes.
"Sure is, mate." Gwaine said with his usual, drunk smirk, despite not having a drink in a couple hundred, maybe thousand, years or so.
"Try not to forget us again, eh, Merlin?" Leon teased.
"Good to have you back." Percival smiled.
Merlin turned to look at Arthur. "A-Arthur...?" He asked hesitantly.
Arthur stared at him for a moment, giving him a stern look. Then he smiled his gorgeous, goofy smile. "Next time you try to save my life, Merlin, do a better job." He smirked. Merlin burst into tears, relief washing over his body. They were alive. His friends, family, they were alive. They came back, just like the legend said Arthur would. It was a miracle. "Hey, Merlin?" Arthur asked as Merlin wiped his tears. "Next time you call a dragon to get me somewhere, do it sooner." He teased.
"Wait- what?!" Gwaine said in surprise.
"Were you even listening?" Percival asked. "Merlin has magic..."
"That means you can call a dragon?!"
"Yeah..." Merlin said.
"Well why the bloody hell did you never take me for a ride?!" He asked in annoyance.
"Sorry." Merlin laughed. "Guess it just never crossed my mind. I'll take you on a ride on something else magical sometime." Merlin promised.
"Don't forget!" Gwaine said childishly.
"Don't worry, I'll never forget anything of you guys again."
"Hey!" Arthur said, smacking him. "Don't be so cheesy." Merlin chuckled.
"And uh, Merlin...?" Leon asked, looking around him.
"Where are we?" Arthur finished. Merlin's smile dropped from his lips.
"Oh, well, uh... that's going to be a long story with a lot of explaining... I'll tell you another time." Merlin said. They nodded and began exploring the section of the city they were in.
Merlin smiled to himself.
They're really back.