04. Coupable
Guilty
Alice had received a total of two mean texts and one rotting banana peel in her backpack by the time the school day ended.
She'd deleted the texts with a huff of frustration—ignoring the way they called her a "nursing home revolving door" and "teacher's bitch". She felt herself growing paranoid, glancing at every student she passed a little longer than usual, listening to the rumour mill a little closer.
But it was filled with the same stares of adoration and muttered compliments. Whispers about what hairspray Alice used, what celebrities she'd met—whispers of just look, it's Alice Travers. The same blank faces and stares that weighed on her shoulders – always expectant. Always watching.
Until she passed a little group of Year Sevens. Until she heard one whisper to the other, "Do you think Alice and Theo have done it?"
She felt her entire body tense. Her feet stopping short. Her legs freezing.
"Of course." Another giggled scandalously. "I heard they did it after their party on Friday."
"Oh my God, with her parents home?"
Her stomach stirred. She wanted to throw up. No. She wanted to turn to them. She wanted to scream at them. She wanted to—it didn't matter what she wanted. The girls had fallen silent, realising Alice had paused beside them. They stared at her with wide eyes.
Alice smiled.
"Have a good afternoon."
And she turned to the staffroom of waiting teachers. She always loved helping out, didn't she?
When the better part of an hour passed and Alice marched into the school carpark after helping Mr Fredrich carry some boxes of paint, she was bursting with frustration. She was desperate to crawl into Theo's arms for what little comfort and validation it gave her.
So, with a determined stance, she set her jaw and marched to his car.
Theo leaned against his shining BMW, his blazer already abandoned in the front seat, exposing his muscular arms and chest through his school shirt. Beside him, two of his teammates bantered, jumping around like monkeys as they told immature jokes.
Alice didn't let it waver her. It took much more than two teenage boys to rattle a Travers.
"Theo," Alice's voice was loud and demanded the attention of all three boys. They turned to see her standing in front of them, her arms crossed, and her lips pressed into a line. "Can we speak?"
Theo's smile faltered. Only for a second. Then he was grinning to his friends, flashing a smile, sharing a private joke.
"We are speaking," he said, teasingly.
Alice settled him with a glare. She didn't have to say anything for his friends to get the message.
Theo's gaze still steady on Alice, his friends turned, patting him on the shoulder in a silent goodbye before leaving, not wanting any part of their conversation.
Once they were out of earshot, Theo spoke first.
"Alice," was all he said.
She melted at the sound of her name on his tongue, and dropped her arms to her side, her expression softening. "I'm sorry."
"No," Theo said, kicking off his car hood. He stepped towards her, running his large, calloused hands over her arms. Her body reacted instantly, melting at his touch as if all the weight and pressure lifted from her shoulders. "I'm sorry. I'm so embarrassed. I was such a dick to you."
You were, Alice wanted to agree, but instead she said, "I miss you."
"I miss you too," he said, his voice low and gruff. He pulled her into a tight hug, resting his chin on her shoulder. "Will you forgive me?"
"Of course," Alice mumbled into his chest. She felt his body sag with relief.
Then, he said, "I forgive you too."
Alice pulled back to meet his eyes. He forgives me? She thought, bewildered. She felt anger and confusion flush through her and had to bite her tongue to stop herself from speaking.
Instead, she leaned forward and pressed a short peck to his lips.
"Can I drive you home?" Theo asked, a wide schoolboy smile on his face.
"Oh, Theo," Alice said, wriggling from his grip. "I'd love to, but I drove to school today."
His smile fell, and her heart panged with guilt, so she offered, "You can come over tonight, though."
"Really?" Theo asked, his excitement renewed.
"Sure." Alice grinned, then groaned. "Wait. No. I'm sorry. My parents are having guests over. I'll be expected to make an appearance."
"Can't you just blow them off?"
"No." Alice sighed. He pouted. He wouldn't understand what her responsibilities were like, so, she plastered a Travers smile onto her face and compromised. "But I'm sure I can slip away a little early. Pick me up at eight?"
He smirked at her, pressing a kiss to her lips. He pulled away too quickly and Alice had to refrain from pouting.
"I'll see you tonight," he said, then turned to slip into his car.
Alice smiled to herself, glad it was over and done with. She'd see him tonight. Her heart fluttered with excitement.
She spun to make her way to her own car, when she caught the eye of Finn Cauley across the parking lot.
He watched her carefully, his eyes narrowed and deeply unfeeling. With one swift motion, he flicked his cigarette to the ground and slipped into his car.
Alice's excitement disappeared, replaced immediately by paranoia and anxiety. Her fingers twitched, tempted to check her phone. Check if that look was paired with a text. She tried to shake it off but remained unsettled until she'd driven home and changed her clothes to prepare for her tennis lesson.
Theo will come over tonight, she reminded herself, but somehow it only made her feel worse.
***
The evening rolled around much too quickly. Alice had arrived home from fencing at five, and quickly hopped in the shower to prepare for dinner. Her parents had invited some guests over, though Alice hadn't been paying attention when her mother informed her.
She was much too absorbed in overthinking her mean texts and her fight with Theo, and her parents had dinners like this almost every night.
So, she went through her usual routine of picking out a simple evening dress, something that Theo would like, and modest heels to match, sensual yet sensible. She had no time to do her makeup, so she settled with curling her lashes and putting on some lip gloss. It was only a private dinner, after all.
She spent her remaining half hour trying to calm her nerves by writing out some algebraic equations and drawing matrices. She wished she could spend the rest of the night buried in her textbook, but when the clock struck six, she knew she had to leave the comforts of her room and pull on her smile.
She stood in the parlour; her mind faraway as she waited for the guests to arrive.
Her parents waited in the dining room, trusting Alice to do all the formalities and welcomes to their guests. They wouldn't disrespect their guests enough to send a housekeeper to welcome them, but of course they needed to be reminded who the Travers were—not so low as to answer their own doors. That's what a daughter was for, wasn't it?
She felt prepared, she'd spent her whole life doing this, but when the door creaked open, she felt her smile waver.
Finley Cauley waltzed through her front doors and into the parlour, dressed in a navy suit and tie. Behind him, his parents followed. Alice caught Finn's eye, a twinkle of amusement in his eye at her no-doubt shocked expression, and she straightened herself, solidifying her smile.
"Mr and Mrs Cauley." She was a natural, her voice flowing with politesse. "It's such a pleasure seeing you tonight."
Mr Cauley was a tall man with greying hair. His clean-shaven face was riddled with tasteful wrinkles, his lips set in a permanent frown. He had aged gracefully and reminded Alice deeply of George Clooney. He stepped forward and pressed a kiss to her cheek, then her other, then back again.
Mrs Cauley, Finn's mother, was not quite as stern as her husband—at least not within company. Alice remembered her shattering voice when she was in scolding Finn in his room, when she thought no one was around to hear. She remembered the sharp thwip of her hand cutting through the air.
She was also tall, though much slimmer than Mr Cauley, and her long, billowing auburn hair was pulled into a crown on her head. Her eyes matched Finley's perfectly, a deep blue that seemed to change colour under different lighting. She had a pointed chin and high cheekbones, which she pressed against Alice's in a tight hug, a pretend kiss.
"Oh, Alice, look at you!" she exclaimed. "You've grown into such a beautiful woman."
"Mrs Cauley," Alice beamed. She tried not to point out that she'd seen her just a few days ago. "You look lovely tonight. Is that the new Dolce and Gabbana—"
"Devotion bag?" she gushed, holding up the print bag proudly. "Why, yes, it is."
"It's gorgeous," Alice said approvingly.
Really, she wasn't a fan of leopard print, but Mrs Cauley was a stickler for fashion and handbags, and Alice had to entertain her guests if her parents wanted to keep their business partnership going.
"Oh, Alice, you've really grown into a lovely young lady," Mrs Cauley enthused, seemingly flattered by Alice's well-placed compliment. She stepped back, gripping her son's arm. "Hasn't she, Finley?"
"Yes, mother," he said simply, his expression bored.
Alice fought a look of surprise. Was Finn Cauley being polite? Was the Finn Cauley using manners and engaging in small talk? She hadn't witnessed this side of Finn since the start of high school.
"Finn," his father said with a gruff voice. "Greet your kind host."
Finley quirked a brow at Alice, holding a hand out for her. She placed her fingers in his palm and he bowed, pressing a gentle kiss to her knuckles. Her heart fluttered. It was strange seeing him like this. She wasn't sure if she liked it.
But she had guests to entertain, so she kept her mouth shut and instead said, "I'm glad you could make it, Finley."
"Likewise," he said curtly.
An awkward silence began to settle over the group, but Alice nipped it with a polite, "Please, follow me into the dining room. My parents are waiting."
The Cauleys followed Alice through the large wooden doors and down a winding carpeted hallway into the dining room where all the politesse and small talk was repeated with her parents. Alice couldn't help but let her gaze drift towards Finn throughout it all.
He stood politely silent, his posture still, his suit perfectly tailored. He nodded at all the right times and greeted her father with a strong handshake, her mother with a polite kiss to her hand. The Cauleys had visited for dinner dozens of times before, but Finley had always been missing from the group.
Why was he here tonight?
Suddenly, his eyes snapped up to meet hers and she felt a blush creeping up her cheeks. She immediately averted her gaze to the ground. How long had she been staring?
"Take a seat, please," Alice's father said, gesturing to the long dining table.
Alice took this opportunity to slide into her seat. Her eyes flickered up to Finn who sat across from her, only to find him already watching her. She blushed deeper and turned to her listen to her father.
Mr Travers, a French native, spoke with a slight lilt to his voice. A kind of melody that never faded, no matter how many years he spent in Australia.
"Our chef has prepared an excellent meal for us tonight." He smiled, his voice commanding and authoritative and full of cultivated charm. "I do hope you will enjoy."
Her father launched into a conversation with Mr Cauley about the stock market and Alice felt boredom tugging at her, though her smile remained on her face. She wondered how Finn was putting up with it, knowing how much he hated small talk and the formalities that came with their parents' businesses.
The entrée was served moments later, and Alice engaged in a polite conversation about her senior year of school with Mrs Cauley between bites of crab and redfin.
"And your university applications?" Mrs Cauley asked. "Have you decided where you'll be applying to?"
"ANU," Alice replied simply. "My family are alumni there."
What she really meant was it was the best university in the country, and her parents wouldn't settle for less than the best. Even if it meant moving to Canberra.
She moved to have a sip of her water and her eyes flickered across the table to Finn. He watched her, his eyes scrutinising her, his jaw set as he stared. Her heart jolted at the realisation he'd been staring at her the entire time.
"Of course, how could I forget!"
She tore her eyes away to face Mrs Cauley once more and smiled politely.
"And your degree?" Mrs Cauley asked after a pause. "What will you be studying there?"
"Business administration," Alice replied automatically.
"Ah, following in your father's footsteps, then," she responded, like it was surprising. Like anyone could have possibly expected anything different.
Alice's degree was probably picked before her name.
"You know, when you were a child, you wanted to be a witch," Mrs Cauley said. She laughed, like it was hilarious, and Alice continued to smile politely, despite the warmth in her face. "You wanted to charm a magic broom to take you around the world. You and Finley would make magic potions in the backyard."
"Oh," Alice said simply. Her throat felt tight, and she forced herself not to look in Finn's direction, not wanting to see his reaction to their shared childhood.
Another silence settled over them. Her plate was cleared and replaced with a portion of lamb scooped delicately on top of a thick mint sauce. She smiled, gently holding her fork with her right hand, and trying not to appear rushed as she ate. It was almost eight.
Her plate was half finished before she couldn't help glancing back towards Finn. He had joined their fathers' conversation and she felt almost foolish for believing anything else. She watched almost in awe as Finn smiled politely, his eyes lighting up while easily carrying the conversation.
She hadn't seen this side of Finley in years. It was strange.
After years of him disappearing from the social scene, after years of breaking rules—from wearing the wrong uniform to the most miniscule infringements like chewing gum in class—and now he was here. Laughing politely in a suit, making small talk about the housing market! Who was this man and what had he done with Finn Cauley?
Suddenly, his eyes moved to meet hers, and she jumped, quickly turning back to her plate as red crept up her neck. She felt his eyes on her as she ate and her desire to leave grew stronger.
Swallowing a bite, she turned to try join her mother's conversation with Mrs Cauley, but their discussion on Gothic literature only reminded her of school. So, she finished in silence, trying to pretend Finley wasn't sitting across from her, trying to tone out the sound of his voice and his polite fake-laugh. Her grip on her fork tightened.
Once their plates had been cleared, her father spoke again.
"We've got an excellent dessert prepared," he said, smiling widely. "Please, help yourself to some of the wine. It's from our vineyard in Bordeaux. I do hope you'll enjoy it."
"Actually—"Alice took this opportunity to escape—"I think I might head up to my room now. I have a big exam to study for."
"Well, I'm sure you've sufficiently prepared throughout the week," her mother replied sternly, her smile tight on her face.
"Oh, nonsense." Mrs Cauley waved a hand, and Alice tried not to sigh in relief. "Let the girl go. We'll only bore her with our talk."
Alice looked to her mother. She pursed her lips for a moment, then relented with a curt nod.
"Thank you." Alice smiled before turning to Mr and Mrs Cauley. "It really was lovely to see you tonight. Please, do come back soon."
Mrs Cauley grinned back while her husband sent her a gruff nod. She stood, turning to Finn.
"Finley." She hoped her smile didn't look too forced. "See you at school."
He nodded, his eyes following her as she strolled out of the room. When the door closed behind her with a click, she turned, sprinting up the stairs to her bedroom. In her room, she quickly glanced at her phone. 7:54pm. He'd be here soon.
She grabbed a purse, shoving her phone and wallet inside, before turning to her mirror. She brushed her hair and applied a fresh layer of lip gloss, then turned to leave the room.
Sprinting down the stairs, she started to pull her phone from her purse to text Theo when she stopped in her tracks.
Leaning against the banister of the grand staircase was Finn.
She blinked. Her hand fell to her side. She should've taken a different route.
He glanced at her, then said, "Going somewhere?"
Alice felt her face grow hot, and she slowly continued down the stairs, walking past him with her chin raised high.
"It's none of your business, Cauley."
He followed with his hands buried deep in his pockets.
"You lied to your parents."
"It wasn't a lie," Alice replied smoothly. "I do have an exam, and I did head up to my room. Besides, I know them, they wouldn't care as long as —"
"You keep up appearances."
Alice bit her tongue. That was what she was going to say, but she wouldn't give him the satisfaction of knowing he was right. She glanced at him and the smirk on his face told her he already did.
She spun back, flushed, and sped her pace to the front doors. She pulled it open, revealing the dark night and Theo's dark car pulled up outside.
She stepped out, hopping down the steps and pulling the passenger door open to slip into the car.
"Hey babe," Theo greeted as she buckled her seatbelt.
She turned to him, pressing a hot kiss to his lips. His hands instantly moved to tangle in her hair, pulling him closer as he nipped at her bottom lip. She smiled, tracing a hand up his chest before pulling away.
"Let's go."
He grinned, his eyes dark and lusty.
As he started the engine, she turned back to the front door to see Finley leaning against the doorframe, his arms crossed.
He was watching her.