Chapter Three
Walked Away
I don’t know if I’m thrilled or nervous. I think I’m a bit of both. Or maybe I’m in the middle. I wasn’t quite sure. I still haven’t worked out on that yet. I feel like I want to throw up and jump off the tallest building at the same time. Maybe I could take a flight to Dubai and just get it over with.
I spent the few days of my summer counting for it to end. And at the same time, wishing that it never will. I don’t really have that much of a long summer vacation since I spent most of it in summer class, taking subjects that would help me minus the stress in my last academic year.
Kasama ko dapat si Grant na mag-enroll. I’m going to manually pick my schedule for the first semester. He’s going to accompany me through the line and the whole process but unfortunately for me, he had an important meeting to attend to.
“You said you were going to accompany me.” Nagtatampo na sabi ko sa kabilang linya.
“I did. We can still go tomorrow.”
“The good schedules will be taken by that time. I need it to be today.” I pursed my lips. I sounded pissed and it’s because I am. This is starting to feel like a bit of déjà vu and I’m not liking it.
“I’m sorry, love. I wish I can drop this but Dad would kill me. This is really important and a big account that I can’t miss. I’m sorry, I’ll make it up to you.” Well, Grant can’t always be there for me. He’s busy now. It’s a surprise pa nga na he still manage to work around his schedule just to make sure he’s spending a lot of time with me instead of his work. Nagiging pabigat na ako sa kanya I’m pretty sure. Maybe he’ll get tired of me sooner or later. I don’t know how I’ll react to that when it happens.
“Okay, I understand.” Grant sighed when he heard my voice.
“Love, don’t be mad.” I bit my lip.
“I’m not. Just… disappointed.”
“Don’t be disappointed.”
I rolled my eyes. “Fine, I can go by myself. Don’t worry.”
“We’re good?” I sighed across the line and smiled.
“Yeah, we’re good.” I think I can almost see Grant nodding.
“Good. Take care for me, will you?”
“You too.” I hung up before any other words get exchanged.
Umupo ako sa kama at hinigpitan ang hawak sa phone ko. I really don’t want to go alone. I mean, I can. But then I’ll just realize how much of a loner I am. That kinda sucks… Like major with the capslock on and all.
My phone started ringing again and I was kinda hoping that I’d get to see Grant and he’ll make me happy by saying he cancelled his meetings for me but it was Kade.
Kade is a distant friend of mine. If I can even call him a friend. We have some classes together which is all by luck. It’s actually been so long since I last talked to him. I think the last time that I did was last March on the last day of our finals for that one subject that I was taking with him.
“Hey, what’s up?” I asked, confused at his call from absolutely out of nowhere.
“Hey Maxie, where are you?”
“Home. Why?” I quipped a brow even he can’t see it.
“Uhh… Nakapag-enroll ka na?” He asked which made me groan. He has to make me remember, doesn’t he?
“Nope. Why are you asking?”
“Yeah, I haven’t too. Thanks for asking.” He chuckled and I just pursed my lips. Kade cleared his throat when he realized I wasn’t responding to him in any way. “I wanna ask if you want to enroll with me? Same schedules and all.”
I blinked a few times. “You want to enroll with me?”
“Hey, you’re smart. I’ve worked with you a few times. I think this last year’s gonna mess with my brain so hard, and I kinda figured that you’ll make it more entertaining and bearable for me.”
“What am I, a clown?” I frowned and Kade chuckled.
“Come on, Maxie. You know you need me too. Paano na lang kung may projects? Group works? Who will be your study buddy? I can make your last year bearable too.”
I bit my lip. He’s got a point. It’s been hard having no friends. Mas mahirap din dahil takot ang iba na mag-approach sa akin. The only easy part in groupings is when the professors are the one who assigned it which is not most of the times. I hate doing works with partners too.
“Silence means I’m right. Can I pick you up now?”
I think Kade’s grinning like he won the lotto right now or something. I groaned, sounding a lot like I didn’t want the idea and I have no other choice—but in fact, I think I like the idea. Not being alone on my last year might be a good change. Kade’s okay. He’ll make a great companion. “Fine.”
“Don’t sound too happy.” Kade paused for a while. “Hey, maybe we’ll be best of friend’s right after this.”
“In your dreams, Savellano.” Kade just chuckled before dropping the call.
I waited for about half an hour bago makarating si Kade sa bahay. I forgot to give him an option that we could just meet in the campus to save time but it got lost in my mind somehow.
“Where are you going, Maxie?”
“Enroll lang po, My.” Mommy frowned.
“Oh yeah, Grant’s going to fetch you?” I grimaced.
“Busy po si Grant, but I’ll be going with a friend.” It was nice to mention a friend’s name in front of my mother. I don’t want her to think that I’m friendless even if that’s the truth.
“Friend? Who? Hana?” My taste got sour at the mention of that snake’s name. Sabagay, walang alam si Mommy tungkol sa nangyari sa amin ni Hana. Pati sa lahat ng mga nangyari sa akin. I can’t blame her for that. I just didn’t want her to get involve with the drama.
“No, uh—Kade Savellano.”
“Is he related to the Savellano group of companies?” I nodded.
“The very same.” Mommy grinned.
“That’s great. New friends are great.”
I kissed my mother’s cheek before leaving the house. Hindi ko na muna ipapakilala si Kade kay Mommy. That’s too early for that. We aren’t that close yet. Newly found friend ko pa lang siya. He’s not worthy yet.
“Thank you for coming with me, Maxie. I appreciate it.”
“This is not a date.” I warned him and Kade grinned.
“I never said it was.” His answer made me roll my eyes. Nakatingin lang sa akin si Kade habang may malaking ngiti sa mga labi niya. It was making me uncomfortable. I frowned.
“Well?” I lifted a brow at him.
“What?”
“Are you going to keep on staring or are you going to start driving? Because you’re creeping me out.” Kade laughed.
“Oh yeah, sorry.” Just like how I told him to, he sped off of our mansion and drove all the way to the campus. It was a decent distance. May light traffic kaya natagalan.
A few people were staring when we arrived together. Most of them were gaping at us when Kade and I walked side by side. They’re probably guessing why Kade and I are together. I’ve never been seen with anyone before. Except for Grant and… Well, this is going to be another interesting year. That’s for sure.
“How was your summer, by the way?” Kade started to open up a conversation. I watched his reaction but he doesn’t seem to notice all the attention that we were getting. He’s naïve to attention.
“Short. I took summer class. Then three days sa Bohol. The rest, I stayed home.” He gaped at my answer.
“Why would you do that?” I frowned.
“Do what?’
“Take a summer class. You spent a good vacation—to be in school and study? Wow. I never perked you for a nerd, Maxie.” He grinned to make me see that he was kidding. I rolled my eyes but I still ended up laughing a bit.
“I just thought the OJT would keep me real busy. Ayaw ko ng dagdag stress kaya I took two of my subjects earlier.”
He frowned, taking what I said into consideration. “Well, I never thought of that—that way.”
“And that completely surprises me.” I said in a completely dry tone but Kade chuckled when he noticed the humor in my eyes.
The line was quick kaya hindi ako nainip. Kade was actually fun to talk with. I can’t believe I’m really having a decent conversation with someone who isn’t a De la Fuente.
We chose almost the exact same schedule. Pareho kami ng vacant at ng subjects pero may dalawang minor na hindi. Yung isang minor ko kasi ay isang back subject, Philippine Literature. I dropped it when I was in second year because I didn't like my professor. Kade and I will be together most of the time that I swear I’m going to get sick of his face kahit na hindi naman ganoon kadami yung subjects na kinukuha ko compared sa kanya this semester.
“Do you have plans?” Tanong ni Kade habang papalakad kami papunta ng car park. Kade’s still oblivious to the looks we’re receiving, while I notice it all too well. Tinataasan ko ng kilay ang ilang mga tumitingin sa amin that they have no other choice but to look away.
I raised a brow at him. “Is this the part where you ask me out for a date? Because trust me Kade, I’m going to say no.”
Kade lifted his fist, faking a wounded expression before clutching in his chest. “Ouch, that hurts, woman.”
I rolled my eyes at him and he gave me a small smile when he noticed that I wasn’t amused. “Not a date, Maxwell. I guess I wanted to introduce you to some of my friends. So you can branch out your social circle.”
My jaw dropped and I blinked a few times, realizing what he had just done and what I just felt when he’d done it. Kade seemed to notice my reaction and it obviously confused him.
“What?” He asked.
“You called me Maxwell.”
He frowned, like he didn’t realize it before. “Oh yeah, I’m used to calling you Maxie. Why? Is it bad?”
“No.” I shook my head. “I never had anyone call me with that except Grant and… It annoys me when other people address me with my whole name.” I scowled.
“Oh, did I annoy you?”
“Actually, that’s the confusing part. It didn’t irritate me. Not even a bit.” I leaned my head to the side, thinking why it didn’t sound annoying as I thought it would be. Hearing someone else call me Maxwell usually makes my blood boil.
“Good. I like calling you Maxwell.” Kade gave me an affectionate smile and I smiled back at him. I’m actually quite confused as to why I’m smiling back. Maybe I’m starting to see him as a friend.
“Oh, wow. I didn’t know Rush’s back.” My smile slowly faded. I think I might have paled like a piece of white sheet. I froze at the mention of his name. I can feel my heart constricting all over.
“W-What?” Napahinto ako sa paglalakad at napahinto rin naman si Kade dahil doon. My knees felt like it would give out soon.
“Rush. Si Rush. Ayun oh.” Biglang tumuro si Kade sa isang direction. Sumikip ang dibdib ko at hindi ako sigurado kung tama bang tumingin doon para malaman kung totoo ang sinasabi ni Kade. I slowly turned my head to the direction where Kade’s still pointing and when I finally did, I think my heart dropped on its own.
Kade’s not making it up. Rush’s here. He’s back. He is really here and he’s standing from a short distance. My heart cringed at the sight of him and I suddenly felt the longing and all the feelings that came with it that I tried to push away.
Rush is really here. He looked like the same and like he changed at the same time. He got taller, that’s obvious. Even with his clothes on, I could tell how he’d put on extra muscles. He wasn’t entirely ripped but it’s enough to make girls drooling, including me. His jaw was defined just like before. His eyes were perfect, along with his eyelashes and eyebrows. His nose were pointed and the shape of his lips… Oh, those lips.
My visions were starting to get clouded as I blinked the tears back into my eyes. I’m not going to cry. I already affirmed myself how I’m going to react when he’s around. I’m not…
I don’t know what to wish for. To wish that he won't see me or the opposite. Natatakot akong makita niya ako pero mas natatakot ako na hindi niya ako makita. It was a difficult choice. I closed my eyes, completely pained before looking up at him again.
“Bakit hindi mo sinabi na nakabalik na pala siya?”
Naglalakad siya patungo sa hindi ko alam kung saan. He’s wearing some black jeans and dark blue polo. I bit my lip.
“Because I didn’t…” My breath got stuck on my throat when my wish got answered. Nagtama ang mga mata namin. Nakalimutan ko atang huminga. It’s been so long since I’ve seen him… Since he looked at me with the same dark and inviting eyes.
“Uh, are you okay, Maxwell?” I felt Kade’s hand on mine. I felt him squeeze my hand with his but I wasn’t sure. I don’t think I can feel anything.
Hindi bumitaw ang tingin ni Rush sa akin at hindi ko rin binitawan ang tingin niya. Nanghihina ako. Kahit na ang layo-layo niya sa akin, nagagawa niya pa rin nakawin ang lahat ng lakas ko. His eyes landed on my hand and I wasn’t sure why he’s staring there. I didn’t stop from looking at him. His forehead creased but only for a short time. Ibinalik ulit niya ang tingin sa akin.
Lalapit ba siya sa akin? I want him to come closer, damn it. I want him to kiss me. Who care if he left me? Who cares if he left without saying goodbye? Who cares if he broke my heart? I want him to pull me, hug me, kiss me, and tell me that he won’t be going anymore. But sadly, he didn’t do all of that.
No. He didn’t pull me. No, he didn’t hug me. No, he didn’t kiss me either. He didn’t come to assure me the things that I wanted to hear from him. No, he didn’t do any of that at all.
He looked at me for one last time, and without any hint of emotion on his face—he turned around and walked away, leaving me again without any goodbye because we already had our goodbye a long time ago.