From Me To You: A Tale Untold

Ibrahim

2nd April, '19


Dear Diary,

I don't know what to do... Tried applying at many places, at every available opportunity with my degree and there's always that something is lacking. The admins are so vague, they don't even give feedback on my interviews. Wish there was some department, some skills where I could improve. My English is good and I dress okayish too. Honestly wonder what's holding them back? Maybe the fact I'm a Kashmiri counts? Or is my language-Kashmiri, the only deciding factor in this application? And when you think hard, maybe because of my skin colour--I'm aware I don't look Indian, but that doesn't make me less of an Indian. Does it? Maybe the rumours are true after all-- I had heard Indian companies discriminate the people of Kashmir from the rest of India.  Arrggh! Feel like banging my head on the wall.  It can be so much things and I'm only speculating with no answers in sight. Don't know why I feel so odd that my degrees, my job experience doesn't count at all.  I really really wanted to get this job. Wow... my desperation shines through. 

Abba and Amma would have been so happy. At least I could help taking care of a part of finances. After paying her fees, Amayra will be able to attend her school regularly. Maybe this is destined. I'm so tired. But I won't give up... I'll get a job, work harder, better. Any job will do. As long as I earn something, I'll do it. Anything is better than nothing. Abba can rest in the assurance that I'll be helping him in covering the costs. Business has been slow these months. There are tourists with the heavy layer of snow around. Avalanches are common here and now food will be scarce too. Schools will close as the snow rises and solidifies. Amayra loves school. Wants to be an engineer someday. Like me. I'll make her one. Even if it means I must work 24/7. She's my little sister and her dreams are my dreams.