I didn't want to sound like the typical, cliche girl, but Christmas was genuinely my favorite time of the year. All of the Christmas lights, all of the sweets, all of the decorations...everything made me feel so warm and happy, I couldn't help it. People were nicer, while I was still bitter about a lot of things. The weather was cold, while my heart was colder. It was all amazing.
I was snuggled in an oversize Christmas sweater that once belonged to my father. I loved it when Sam and my dad passed down their clothes to me because it was an amazing feeling to be swallowed by a piece of clothing that could also be fashionable without trying.
I pulled my hair up into a messy bun, splitting my now long fringe across my forehead to make them look presentable and to give myself the option to actually see. I was in desperate need of a bang trim before I left for Lydia's on New Year's Eve.
With the help of a YouTube tutorial I was able to get down the easy steps of simple smokey eye, wanting a dramatic change for the dinner my dad was having at our house tonight.
Thanksgiving lunch was always at Luke's house, Christmas dinner was always at mine, and Easter all day was spent at Michael's. It really helped that all of our parents got along and looked forward to seeing each other. Of course, sometimes I felt as if Liz and Karen only tolerated Sienna for my sake, because their vibes were always off when Sienna was around. This year's Thanksgiving was a prime example. If I wasn't mistaken Karen was sending glares from across the table to Sienna the entire lunch.
It was really Sienna's fault. If she tried hard enough she could very well be a likable person, but, I mean, she would have to try extremely hard and we all knew she wasn't going to put in any kind of effort. The woman loved herself and she lived life thinking that was all she needed.
I sat on my bed, wrapping the last few gifts for everyone that I had bought. I wasn't the best at timely gift wrapping, I waited until the day of Christmas to wrap and by then it wasn't as exciting.
"Hey Sage." Ashton greeted, letting himself into my room.
He looked good in his all black outfit, topped with a leather jacket and his hair slicked back, a single curl falling forward over his forehead. It was truly a blessing for my eyes. I wonder why he didn't do his hair like this more often. It truly suited his features.
"You're early." I mentioned as I wrote down Luke's name on his gift. I bought him a new compact mirror since the one he typically carried around with him was the same one he has had since freshman year and then I bought a pullover sweater that he threw a tantrum over because he didn't have enough money to buy it right then and there. It was the most embarrassing thing to happen in a mall in front of other shoppers that were curious as to why the big man-child was having a mental breakdown in public.
"We came early because I wanted to give you your gift before the others got here." Ashton pulled out a tiny box wrapped in paper with my name on it. "And mum wanted to come help your dad with the meal preparations. She wants to feel closer to all the parents, work on getting some friends." He chuckled, handing me the box.
It worried me sometimes that Anne's life consisted of the hospital and her house only. Perhaps she had some doctor friends that kept her company during her long hours, but that wouldn't be enough to make her feel comfortable in Seattle. I mentioned that to my father and he was all about having Anne over for Christmas dinner so she could become acquainted with Karen and Liz. Truth was, he felt bad for Anne too.
"Why do you keep buying me gifts?" I thumbed the box, holding back a smile. "You know you don't have to get me anything ever."
First my birthday, now Christmas. I was being spoiled in some sort of odd way and it was rather pleasing.
"But have you rejected me yet?" I shook my head at Ashton. "Exactly. Go on, open it."
So, I ripped apart the minimal paper and was met with a white box, which usually meant jewelry. I wasn't one for jewelry. I stopped wearing earrings when I was nine because Michael would always play a little to aggressively with me, causing the back of the earrings to stab me behind my ear. Not fun.
But the content in the box was so pleasing to the eyes that I couldn't look away. A gold bar necklace shined as the light from my lamp hit the bar. A closer look revealed a simple "S" on the left of the bar. The necklace was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. If love at first sight existed, this moment was proof.
"It's so pretty..."
"I figured you'd like it." Ashton lifted my chin so our eyes could meet. "I rarely see you wearing jewelry, but I knew you'd love the simplicity of it."
The four months we had known each other, I believed that we knew a lot about each other. It wasn't because we were asking each other questions and trying desperately to remember the things the other said. We were observant of each other and took mental notes about what the other liked and disliked. We took mental notes down to mannerisms and repeated phrases.
Ashton and I didn't have many of those romantic movie moments, we were both two big assholes that loved to irk each other, so when we did have one of the moments it was sort of magical, I could admit. Ashton hooking the necklace onto me was one of those movie moments that caused my breath to hitch and completely erase the negative thoughts and feelings I had.
"No one else would be able to make this necklace look so beautiful."
But our moment only lasted so long until I grew uncomfortable with the situation and found myself pulling back from Ashton once again. I couldn't accept compliments from the opposite sex, it had always been a difficult thing for me since I believed that men were always thinking up their best lies to get you to fall in love with them, so they could hurt you and leave you.
"I really appreciate this. I don't think I'll ever take it off." Was all I could force out of myself.
A strong feeling guilt washed through me. It always seemed to be me ruining the few moments Ashton and I had. Every day since Thanksgiving in the guest room at Luke's, I thought about what had happened. How it was my fault. How I could've been with Ashton right now instead of Ashton being with Veronica. Whatever forces were controlling me, this was what they wanted for me - torture. Yeah, it hurt, but it was my own fault. I was always too busy pushing Ashton away to realize I could share something potentially great with him. And maybe I felt some regret when it came to what I had done with Arrie, but I knew this would fall in the category of lessons that I had learned so I wouldn't make such a mistake again.
"Michael has arrived!" From downstairs Michael greeted everyone with his travelling voice. That was how he used to greet me when he came over before Sienna started to get stuck up about her home.
"We should go downstairs." Ashton pulled me up from the bed.
I slipped a pair of flats on my feet before following Ashton downstairs.
Earning a rather suspicious look from Michael and Luke, I pulled them both into a hug to ease some tension away from myself.
"Merry Christmas my Trifecta." Michael muffled into Luke's hair, making Luke giggle.
Luke loved to be apart of group hugs or anything involving a group. Those things almost made him feel validated as a person.
"Where's Arrie?" Michael asked, taking off his coat to hang it up.
"He's out picking up a couple pies for my dad." Dad was so stressed this year without Sienna there to help him with the fine details of Christmas dinner, so he left it to me to pick out the table assortments and decorate the place with the help of Arrie and Ashton. Decorating was quite easy as Sienna had always purchased too many new decorations when they were 50% off, so there was endless choices of how we could decorate. Figuring out place mats and eating utensils was where it got difficult. I never realized how many different fabrics there were and how many different sized forks existed, so I asked a sales associate to pick out the best correlation of mats and utensils and give me three options to choose from. Ashton, Arrie, and myself each picked a different option instead of letting majority rule, so I let the associate pick her favorite and we ended up with black velvet place mats with a gold trim and gold plates and utensils. That day I had never been more happy to lie in bed and think about how difficult it must be for Liz and Karen to do Easter and Thanksgiving. They were truly heroes in my eyes.
"Skylar, it's a shame Sienna couldn't be here." Liz insisted, but she looked to me with a pleased look on her face.
My dad wanted our family business kept on the down low. But with Luke knowing more than he should, Liz was bound to find out.
"She's not here?!" Karen entered the conversation with a little too much excitement that made my dad laugh as he entered the living room.
"She's in Tacoma with her parents, they've fallen ill, unfortunately." He greeted everyone with a hug.
Tacoma with her parents was code for Sienna left us and she didn't plan on returning back to this family.
"Pies are here!!!!!" Arrie cheered from behind everyone standing in front of the door. Arrie loved his pie so he held them tightly to his chest as he moved through everyone to get them to the kitchen.
"Veronica isn't coming, right?" Michael asked Ashton.
"She's out of town until the 30th." Ashton smiled.
"Thank god!" Michael and Luke said at the same time.
"Right?" Ashton went in for a high five from Michael, but only got a skeptic look from him.
"What does that mean?" Michael squinted his eyes as if that was really going to help him understand Ashton.
"Take it how you want...I'm gonna go enjoy the weather..." Ashton shoved his hands in the pockets of his jacket before walking towards the back of the house to get to the back door.
-
"I'm glad they're finally gone." Ashton threw himself on my bed next to me.
There were a nice exchange of gifts between everyone. Luke loved his gifts. Michael cried over the new Call of Duty game his mom wouldn't buy him and he screamed over the hair glitter I purchased for him that he had been dying to get his hands on.
Luke bought me an eyeshadow palette with 180 colors that were too pretty for me to touch and a perfume that I had mentioned liking at the beginning of the year. I couldn't believe that he remembered such a thing. Michael bought me a couple of books that he knew I could appreciate and he gave Luke and I both gold bracelets that said "best bitches" on them. I got Arrie some new clothes since I hated to see him in the same white shirt and blue jeans every day.
For Ashton I bought him a few black shirts to add to his collection and a pair of gray sweatpants, hoping he'd be able to catch onto what I was hinting with them. I had noticed a record player in his living room a few weeks ago, so I rummaged through his Spotify music and decided to purchase two vinyls I felt he would love. And I was right, he loved them and he shed a single tear because of them.
"My friends aren't terrible if that's what you're implying." I lied on my side to face Ashton, my head resting in my hand.
"I just feel like I can never get any time with you when Michael and Luke are around." That was understandable, but where I was, it was always a given to have Luke and Michael there. We were the most incredible package deal and no one should ever complain about us.
"It's almost a survival of the fittest kind of thing, the best suitor will get my attention and the other's will die." I joked.
Instead of Ashton laughing at what I had said, he pulled something green from his pocket and held it above both of our heads.
"Suddenly, a mistletoe has appeared above us both." Ashton said sarcastically. "Guess that means you have to kiss me."
I stared up at the mistletoe, "That's funny."
"I'm being serious..." Ashton said. "I want to kiss you..."
"Then do i-"
I couldn't finish the sentence before I felt Ashton's lip pressed against mine. His lips were warm and soft and he tasted like the mimosas my dad served at dinner. One hand came up and cupped my jaw, causing our lips to press harshly together. The mistletoe could be heard landing on the bed between us, both of us chuckling against the other's lips. I found our legs intertwined and my fingers combing through his hair, noticing how our motions towards each other always just happened without us realizing. How our lips danced together without a care in the world.
Possibly, this was what being in love was like.