"Don't promise me something that you can't keep!"
He places his hand over his eyes while his thumb and middle finger massage his temples, "Stop shouting...", He sighs. It pisses me off how calm he is, I'm screaming at him and he's just sitting there, "I'm going to be there for Brad, I'm not leaving you or breaking up with you, I love you too much to do either of those things. I want you to write to me...please", what the fuck is he talking about! We're not doing a Dear John moment! This shit is real.
"You're not fucking going, Ace and stop telling me to stop shouting!!", I scream the last part.
He takes a sharp breath in before letting out a long one, "I'm going...if you loved me enough you would wait for me" He coos.
Really, did he just fucking say that to me!
"Really!?", I say through gritted teeth. He sighs again looking into my eyes like he knows I'm going to blow up.
"Loved you enough...", I snare, "fucking 'loved' you enough!"
"Baby"
"No! Fuck you! We just got back together, I took you back after what you did to me! And now you're leaving after you promised, you fucking promised! you promised me you'd never hurt me again and you're doing it again!!", I feel myself shake with rage, I've never felt so much anger but I think it's radiating off hurt. He sighs again looking down at the floor gathering his thoughts, "sigh one more time, I fucking dare you!", I bark throwing my hands in the air.
"Okay!", He stands to his feet placing my arms down to the sides of my body.
"Don't touch me", I growl.
"You're really mad...are you?", He takes a step back.
"You think!?", I snap.
"Can we just talk about it?", He begins to sigh but stops himself, "listen, I love you so much but I'm going to be there for Brad he won't leave the army especially after what happened, I joined to be there for him, we'll be there for each other. Just promise me you'll write me and I can call you or video call you, please because you'll be the only thing keeping me sane while I'm there" He gulps.
"Then don't go.."
"Promise me", He cuts me off.
"I won't, I can't", I shake my head. I can't live without him, If something happens to him I would have to find out from his mother and it would be so hard, her telling me. It pains me knowing he wants to go, I know it's for Brad but I can't take it...he was the only thing keeping me sane here.
"Please..", He saddens.
"It's either me or no me", I keep my emotions in check looking emotionless.
"You can't do that! You're asking me to choose between you or brad"
"No...I'm asking you to choose me or the army", I look him in the eye showing no emotion what so ever.
"Really? It's the same thing. You say you can't live without me but you're asking me to choose?", his eyes look towards the ground for a moment before his eyes meet mine again, "you choose! Me or no me!", he uses my words against me.
I don't say a word, I was bluffing hoping he'd choose me but I guess he isn't changing his mind about going, "I choose me, I'm sick of getting hurt", I'm always getting hurt. I choose myself for once.
"So, what? You're the one breaking up with me?", his eyes become glossy.
"No but if you go then yes", I bite on my bottom lip to keep my emotions in tact.
"You can't do this to me", he sniffles holding his tears back.
"And you can't do this to me"
"I have a month before I go.."
I know, you've told me!
"Please just consider staying with me and we'll write each other...all the time or something"
The sound of the front door slams shut, soft giggles of Julia fills the hall but it begins getting louder. I sit on the couch dragging the controller from the coffee table acting occupied on the Xbox. Ace sits down in complete silence while Ash and Julia comes stumbling laughing through the archway.
Happy cunts.
"Oh shit, didn't know anyone was home", Ash says pushing Julia away from him like we don't know.
"I uhm came here to see you", Julia says.
What a load of shit.
"Hey", I force a smile.
"What's up", Ash says to Ace.
"Nothing much, man. You want to go out for a drink", Ace says despite not being old enough to drink in bars yet.
"Yeah, lets go", Ash nods to the archway and they both leave.
"So, what you up to?", Julia says smiling widely.
I can tell Asher is making her happy..at least someone is.
I'm not in the mood to talk, I'm angry, hurt and just overall in such a bad mood because of Ace. He joined the army without even talking to me about it first, we just got back together, I don't understand. I mean I get it's for Brad but what about him, he may get hurt and I won't be able to live with that.
"Are you okay?", Julia says full of concern.
"Fine"
"Fred is asking for you by the way", She says chipper.
"I don't care!", I snap, am I being a bitch?
"Oh", she says quietly.
"I'm sorry, I don't want to talk to him or anything", I admit.
I'm over the whole friends with benefits thing with him. I love Ace so there is no way in hell I'll be meeting up with him, "Well, you have to tell him that"
"I know", I sigh.
I'll tell him when I can.
Julia and I talk for hours, I haven't told her about Ace because she's bad at keeping secrets all she knows is what I told her at the beginning before we started dating, it's mine and Ace's secret and it'll remain that way until we tell Asher. I know that won't be for a good while. Julia finally leaves around ten, I begin cleaning the coffee table that was scattered with empty wrappers and glass cups. Once I've rinsed them and added them to the dishwasher, I change into fluffy pyjamas because it's freezing out, I turn on the heating and curl up into my bed, drifting off into a dream where Ace isn't leaving.
"Hi, munchkin", Ace whispers in my ear.
My eyes flutter open fast, I sit up seeing the outline of him through the darkness laying beside me, once my eyes adjust I begin to see through the darkness with little moonlight shining through, his hair is once again messy. His cheeks are flushed and his eyes are bloodshot.
He's drunk.
"Ace, go to sleep", I flop back down and turn away from him.
"Nooo", he whines, "I want our late night talks, remember?", He whispers wrapping his arms around my waist.
I remember.
"Go to sleep", I sigh.
"I'm going to the army and I won't change my mind but please don't breakup with me", his voice below a whisper. I turn around facing him searching his eyes, I'm not in the mood for this conversation especially when he's drunk.
"I love you, Camila. Please don't leave me now, wait for me because I'll be waiting for you. I'll be there surviving making sure I come back to you, you'll be keeping me alive and if you breakup with me, I feel like I won't survive without you I'd die. I'll write you all the time, it'll be like I'm right beside you, just please"
I know I won't be able to survive without him, that month felt like I was dying and he's it for me, I can't deny it because I know I couldn't leave him, not now.
"Okay" I breathe out.
THE END
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