Chapter 24: The One With All The Secrets
"Let me tell you about secrets, Yael."
Pyren moods were inconsistent. Sometimes, he'd grow tired of me after a few short moments. Then he'd snap, until I grew tired of him. There was no cause to stay around a yelling man, so I would leave him and learn nothing.
When he was in high spirits, he would make a spectacle out of everything he did, like a prancing pony, showing off. In that sense we were both alike. There was something of a performer in me too.
"A secret is merely knowledge known by few. It can be as few as one. The more a secret is shared, the less it is, in fact, a secret." He narrowed his eyes at me. "Do you follow?"
"Yes," I said. I liked knife tricks more than his lectures. "Why's this important?"
"Because of people's motive in keeping information secret. What would that be?"
Pyren expected an answer. So I thought before speaking. My gaze focused on the clear stream that passed by his cottage at my feet, and then at my breaths rising in white puffs in the icy winter morning. "To hide their crimes," I began. "To hide their shame. To protect themselves?"
"Yes, what else?"
"To protect other people?"
"And?"
My mind was stuck. What other kinds of secrets were there? Papà always said that his wine-making was a secret art of our family. If everyone could make wines as good as he, our livelihood would be harmed. "To keep their riches," I finally said.
"What does being rich mean?"
"It means that... you have money."
"And what is the value of money when you have more than everyone else?"
I couldn't see where he was leading me, so I shook my head.
"Power, Yael, power. Secrets are kept for power," He was balancing on the balls of his feet, making outrageous gesticulations. "It can be passive power, it can be active, but it is always about power, over the situation, over other people. And now, can you tell me, who is the most powerful?"
I smiled slowly as understanding finally dawned. "The one with all the secrets."
***
"I'm going to share a secret with you, Dylana," Waryn said. We were in the small, square room lit only by a single candlestick. The grey walls ate away the dim light.
I was the only one sitting. Nava was leaning against the desk in a dazzling dress of striped maroon and white, while Leah stood with her arms crossed by the opposite passage. A large silk rose sat on her shoulder, and a path of smaller blushing red roses ran down her bodice, spreading out over the front of her pale pink skirts.
Waryn hovered by me with his trusted map—the same one he had shown me in his room in Velamia—rolled in his hand. "But this secret will put your life at risk."
"You mean, you'll kill me if I tell anyone?"
"I mean, if we so much as suspect you have spoken..." The candlelight on the table cast shadows over his face, making his eyes look like two bottomless pits. "We will have to silence you."
"And what made you decide to tell me now?"
"I want your cooperation," he said. "I made a mistake by telling you why I didn't expose you. You don't fear me anymore."
"You made a mistake by admitting that you made a mistake, Waryn," Leah said. "Don't you see? She's gotten to you. End this before it ends badly."
"I didn't realise that was up for debate," I said, getting to my feet. I would be slow moving with my dress and slippers. I did, however, have my knife with me. I had sewn a small pocket for it behind one of the folds of my skirt. I pretended to pull my skirt up from my shoes, so as not to trip, while my fingers found it.
"It's not." Nava sent a pointed glare at Leah who took a step forward as if ready for any confrontation.
"Leah, you can leave if all you're going to do is create tension." Waryn had his eyes on my hand, on my knife. I let it drop, but was ready to reach for it.
"Yes, Leah, your husband must be waiting," Nava added.
"Let him wait," she replied, her bright white teeth flashing in her dark face.
A smile was coaxed out of Nava, but she made a swatting motion in Leah's direction.
"We'll tell you what will be essential for you to know," Waryn said. "Nothing more. After which, I advise you to act..."
"You mean to whore me out to the lords of the Masquerade, Waryn?" I said, stepping towards him with a purposefully provocative sway to my hips.
"Your methods are up to your discretion." His eyes swept me over, twice. I didn't think pretty dresses and a fancy mask would have any effect on Waryn who, even for the ball, dressed all in black with the same boring mask he always used. But there was no mistaking that Waryn was positively drinking me with his gaze. "All I'm going to ask of you is to discreetly obtain information."
Leah snorted.
"That's not helping, Leah," Waryn said.
"I'll be as serious as a spectre, I swear," she replied drily.
Nava managed a spectacular roll of her eyes. "Shall we begin? We'll be late."
Waryn licked his lips, his eyes locked on mine. Was he questioning himself? Even now, he was trying to gauge if he had misread the map and I wasn't his agent like he thought I was. "Three years ago, I discovered a plot," he began. "A plot to reinstate the position of high king."
"The south would never have it," was my first response.
"You're right," Waryn said. "That's why they plan to reunite only the north as a separate kingdom."
"They? Who are... they?"
Waryn spread his map over the table. It was probably his favourite part. He had a little pouch of tokens, too. These were wooden, painted yellow, red and green.
"Falks, Noya, Dialmiir, Ulumie, we know for certain." He placed a red token on each one. "Chewall's participation is still unknown."
"But these are all weaker houses," I said. "Who will be the king?"
"Our main suspects are Aspertin, Acavia and Kiri."
"Acavia? Wouldn't Leah know?"
"I'm not the heir anymore. I was all but removed from my home the moment I was forced into marrying that Kiri sausage."
"And I thought his sausage was too small for you," Nava said.
"I already said I'm sorry. I can't help it that that's one of the things I like about you."
"Do you know how it makes me feel when you—"
"Well, excuse me for thinking you're perfect."
"You don't treat me like a woman."
"Maybe because you're a goddess?"
A clasped my hand over my mouth to stop myself from laughing.
"Nava. Leah. Leave," Waryn hissed.
Leah stepped back but Nava stood up in protest. "Waryn!"
"Leave. Both of you. I'll do this myself."
I didn't know why Waryn brought those two here. They only weakened his position. Unless...this was another softening tactic. To make me feel part of a group. He'd know how lonely I was. Anyone would know. Hadn't I all but begged Emil to share my bed tonight? I was pathetic.
If this was the game Waryn was playing, it had worked. Nava and Leah's performance distracted me from the importance of what Waryn was telling me. I wasn't asking the correct questions.
We both waited in silence until the echoes of their footsteps and arguing voices died away. Waryn leaned on the desk and I, with my shoes hurting my feet, reunited myself with the chair.
"Why isn't Somaer a suspect, then?" I asked.
"You look lovely, by the way," he said. Empty flattery.
"Are you trying to skirt the subject?"
"Yes. Is it working?"
"Let's take a step back for a moment. They want to reinstate the high king, you say. So? Why does it matter?"
"Exactly because, in the end, nothing will change."
"Why should you be concerned? It's a system that was created to serve you. You'll be on the top of it however it turns."
"This will not be a peaceful takeover. Many who live now will die, Dylana."
"I just don't see why you care so much."
"Aren't I allowed to care?"
I just stared, not even bothering to answer.
"It's me. My own neck is at risk, here."
I clapped my hands together.
He smiled ruefully. "You knew?"
"Why else would a man who was born to everything risk what he has?"
"You think so little of me?"
I shouldn't have said anything. There was no reason to clarify what my opinion of this man—boy—man-boy was. "Heroes are a mockery of our struggle for survival."
I successfully surprised him. He chuckled softly, looking away from the map. "That's...I like those little flashes of wisdom you've got up your sleeve." He shook his head, as if trying to clear it, and turned back to the map.
"The main objective of the coup will be to wipe out the Fel leaders." He placed a green token over Delen, where we now sat and one over Lamoni, Waryn's home. "With the Fel gone, whoever will name himself king will have no opposition in the north."
"And how do you mean to stop this from happening?"
"That's not for you to know," he said. "What I want to find out is Kiri's position. They keep a well-trained army in west Genalia, not far from where we are right now. Their position is ambivalent, which might be a good thing. Lord Morduk Kiri is just the type of man to wait until he sees in which direction the wind blows to decide his next move."
"What could Mica know?"
"Perhaps nothing, like Afali," Waryn said, leaving the desk and turning away from me, hands entwined behind his back. "But Mica and Yoav work closely together. Mica has always been a better strategist than his brother. With Dylana as his bride and an alliance with either Tvereman or Aspertin, he'll be able to obtain the respect he needs in his brother's eyes."
"Which means I'm in the perfect position to pluck all his secrets if he has any," I said.
"If you're willing."
I got up from the chair and stepped over to Waryn. He didn't turn to face me, though he must've heard my heels clicking on the stone floor. I slipped my chin onto his shoulder, pressing myself to him. It wasn't Mica Kiri's secrets I wanted, it was Waryn's.
"Then tell me," I said into his ear, gratified that I made him shudder. "How does any of this bring me closer to my sister?"
He turned, and his hands were about to come to my waist, but he resisted. "Once I know who's behind this scheme, I'll know who lured you here and then you'll know who has your sister."
"You think the person who lured me here and the one behind this scheme are one and the same?"
"Yes. It's an educated guess, you can say..."
"But...why me? Why my sister? And my parents? Why any of it?"
"Have you ever heard about the cuckoo?"
"The bird?"
"It lays its eggs in the nests of other birds, who know nothing of an enemy growing in their midst. The cuckoo hatchling will kill its hosts' natural children, and take their place, fed, raised and fledged by the host."
"The noble houses of Vynam have always been fascinated by the concept of the cuckoo. Good spies are hard to come by. Loyalty isn't easily bought. You were crafted to be desperate and cunning, loyal to something held firmly in your maker's grasp. Does the cuckoo hatchling know that it's not its mother's child?"
"That explains my sister being taken, but not my parents."
"If you still had parents, you would have more to lose than just your life by coming here. You wouldn't have risk them falling into harm."
At least his words stopped my questions for the time being. I doubted I was meant to see what I had seen the night Marin was taken. The man who used the spectres to vanish. I wasn't meant to know that such a secret, dangerous power existed.
"What are you thinking, Yael?" he asked me, softly.
"I told you not to call me that."
"Dylana is an insult, not a name."
"All the more reason for you to use it."
I witnessed the precise moment in which he gave in to his desire to touch me and took me by the waist, resting his mask against mine, forehead to forehead.
"Careful, Waryn, we still have a ball to attend."
"He's not going to be gentle, Yael," he said.
"Who is? And Waryn, you promised—"
"The man who set this up. He won't be like I am. He'll rob you of all your choices and leave you with nothing."
"Are you trying to scare me?"
"I'm scared for you. Why do I find you so endearing when I know you're so dangerous?"
"Maybe the answer is in the question."
I kissed his lips. Swift and brief, leaving a stain of violet behind. That was how fickle I was. Begging for one man to hold me, and stealing a kiss from another. There was so much liberty in owning a dark heart. I used to agonise over any romantic entanglement and possible tryst. But that was before I was forced to live outside my skin in a world without compassion. Now, like a peasant who knew hunger, I took whatever I could, without thought or hesitation.
He leaned in for another kiss, one that would be deeper and longer, but I moved my head away. "We each have somebody else to take to our beds tonight, Waryn."
"You're planning to do it?"
"Don't you want me to?"
"Not right now, I don't."
I laughed, I couldn't help it. A game within a game within a game. When was it going to end?
"I'll assess the situation. If it will benefit me, I'll seduce Lord Mica. I'll be the judge."
"That you will." His wistfulness sounded sincere, at least. I wiped the violet off his lips with my thumb. I couldn't have Afali suspect anything.
"About Afali...When I'm with her..." he began. He wouldn't give up.
"You've got your work cut out for you." I began walking towards the passage.
He laughed, but I didn't know what I said that was funny, until he spoke, "I'll try to follow your advice from the other day....I'll think of you."
AUTHOR'S NOTE:
Just so you'd know, my initial plan for this book was not to include romance. Hahahahah, you believe me right? Well, dunno if this can really count as romance because the relationship is super twisted, but I sort of like it? It doesn't feel to me like I'm forcing romance into this story, as often happens with YA. How does it feel to you?
I have transformed into a butterfly today and I think it was a mistake because it's cold.
Can't wait to hear your comments!
❤️
Einaty