Chapter Seven
Over the next few weeks, if Elijah wasn’t working, he walked with me every morning and every evening. He was always talking, I think to make sure I knew where he was and also to try and bring me out of my shell a bit.
One Wednesday evening, he said, “I have to go away for a little while. I have to go to Quantico to lead the training for the new cadets.”
I actually found myself being a little disappointed. “Oh. That’s good...”
“I can get Ash to walk with you if you’d like. I know he’ll take care of you if I tell him to.”
“No sir, it’s ok. I’ll be ok.”
“You sure?”
“Yes sir. How long will you be gone?”
“A week, maybe a bit longer. When I get back, I’ll cook dinner for you, yeah?”
“You don’t have to do that sir.”
“No, but I want to. I’ll make you some traditional Mexican food. I’ll even call my abuela for some recipes.”
A tiny smile tugged at the corner of my mouth and Eli asked, “Is that a smile I see? It is! A tiny one, but still it’s a start. You should smile more often, sweetheart.”
I thought, ‘There’s not much to smile about, sir.’
“Please don’t do that sweetheart. I want you to smile and be happy. Not always feeling so scared. How can I help you to feel better?”
I dropped my head and whispered, “You can’t; No one can.”
“Has anyone even tried? How do you know no one can help, if no one has tried?”
I bit my lip, fighting the urge to cry and run away. In my mind I was thinking, ‘You’re supposed to be trying, Dani. At least make an effort. Give him something that will get him off your back.’
I managed to control my racing heart enough to whisper, “It doesn’t matter, sir. I’m fine…”
He sighed and looked me deep in the eye, trying to read my expression. He ground out, “You’re clearly not fine, Danica…”
I flew even further away from him, hearing the angry tone in his voice.
He held his hands up in surrender and said, “It’s ok Dani, I’m not going to come near you… Breathe sweetheart. Just breathe with me.”
I shut my eyes briefly and tried to calm down a bit.
He looked at me for a long time before he asked, "What's wrong Dani? What did I do?"
"Nothing, sir. I should go."
"Wait. Can't you just talk to me? Please? Tell me what's going on?"
I shuffled my feet and stared at the scuff marks on the stairs.
"I want to help. I want to make it better, whatever it is. I'll do whatever I can to help you."
"Thank you for the offer, sir, but you can't make it better. There are some things that just can't be fixed. The sooner you realise that, the better off you'll be."
I turned to leave as he said, "I'm not giving up Danica. I will prove to you that I'm serious and I want to help you."
I didn't reply, I just pushed the door open and left.
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(Eli's POV)
As I watched Dani leave, I couldn't help but think I had lost my chance. I actually thought she was going to give up some information. I don't know what I did to frighten her because I didn't even go near her. I really don't want to go to Quantico. I don't want to leave her, not after we've actually started to communicate. She's been responding to some of my questions and I think that leaving her now will undo all the work I've done. Maybe I should call her while I'm away, just to keep the communication going. She may find it easier to talk to me if I'm not actually standing in front of her.
I'll ask Ash to keep an eye on Dani when I'm away, just to make sure she's ok.
As I hopped into my truck, I opened my cell and dialed Dani's number. She didn't pick up; she never does. So I left a message, "Dani, I'm sorry if I upset you. I'm leaving in the morning so I'd like to come round tonight, just to make sure you're ok. I'll pick up dinner on my way in and I'll see you in a half hour or so."
I didn't leave it open to discussion. I didn't want her to worm her way out of me visiting her. I know that's not very polite, but let's be honest, she's never going to actually choose to be in my company. If I can make her see that it's not so bad, maybe she'll just get used to having me around.
I picked up pizza on the way to her house and as I knocked on Dani's door, I said, "Sweetheart, it's me. Can you open up? I have pizza."
I heard all the locks slide out of their keepers and then I heard the chain slide. Dani looked shocked to see me, maybe she hadn't picked up my message. I quickly said, "I left a voicemail for you. Didn't you get it?"
"No sir." She always whispers, like she's afraid to talk.
"Oh, I thought you would have heard it. Do you mind if I come in? This box is getting a bit hot."
She quickly moved into the living room and grabbed a jumper. I noticed her hair was wet, she must have been in the shower. I also noticed scars on her upper arms and shoulders. They look pretty nasty. Maybe they have something to do with the way she acts. She puts on her jumper before my eyes can linger on the scars too much.
"I can dish your food if you'd like to take a seat."
"It's ok, sir. I can do it."
She jumped up and quickly busied herself. I needed to start talking again; I know she's feeling uncomfortable, I can feel it. I think when I talk it helps her to know where I am. I bit like how a bat sees I guess.
"How was work? Anything interesting happening?"
"Nothing more than usual, sir. The Captain keeps asking me to join your team..."
"I know. He's mentioned it to me a number of times. How do you feel about that?"
She just shrugs, so I continue, "You've got quite a talent for computers, Dani. I've never seen anyone pull up the whole of NYC's street cams as quickly as you did. I think the Captain just wants to utilise your talent so we have an upper hand on the bad guys. You don't have to make a decision just now. Just think about it, ok?"
"Yes sir."
She put my plate on the counter and slid it to me, making sure she didn't come anywhere near me or touch me, even by accident. I could see her eyeing a book that was on my side of the counter, so I asked, "Did I stop you reading?"
"No sir."
"I so did, didn't I? It's ok, you can read. I just wanted to check on you and spend some time with you because I'm leaving in the morning."
I slid the book to her and smiled, letting her know it was ok. The corner of her mouth twitched slightly before it fell again. She whispered, "I've just got a little bit to go. It won't take me long, honest."
"It's cool. Can I put a game on while you read please?"
She nodded, so I settled on the couch and put the TV on. Dani sat on the chair nearest the door and the furthest away from me, like she was looking for an escape route. Out of the corner of my eye I watched her read. Her eyes flew across the page faster than anything I've ever seen. I couldn't help but stare, so when she whispered, "Sorry sir, I'll stop reading." I jumped and then blushed slightly. She'd caught me staring. "Why do you need to stop reading?"
"Aren't I being rude?" She looks shocked that I didn't think that was rude.
"Sweetheart, we're in your house. You can do what the heck you like. You can even throw me out if you want. Although, that would upset me because I like your company. Still, this is your house, your rules. I was just shocked at how quickly you read. That's amazing."
She looks caught, trapped even. Like she's let out a massive secret, although I can't think what it would be. "Dani? What's wrong? What does that look mean?"
"Nothing?" It came out more like a question, I don't know if it was intended that way.
"Seriously Dani? I can tell there's something going on. If you don't want to tell me, just say so. Don't lie to me though. I don't like lying and I can tell when someone is lying to me."
She drops her head and whispers, "I'm sorry sir. I can read fast, that's all."
I look at her long and hard, knowing there's more to it than that. I decide to let it drop so I said, "That's cool. I wish I could read like that. I'll actually watch the game while you read." I shoot her a smile, trying to reassure her. I don't know if it worked, but she picked up the book again and in no time at all she had finished it. I think that is very cool. No wonder she's so good at her job.
I'm watching the game, but secretly I'm also watching Dani out of the corner of my eye. She fascinates me, and I don't mean that in a freaky stalker kind of way. She's sitting on the chair with her knees pulled up to her chest and her arms wrapped around her legs. Her long blonde hair is fanned out over her shoulders and her crystal blue eyes are hooded and heavy like she's fighting off sleep. Although I should probably leave to let her rest, I can't bring myself to go. I want to hang on to her company for just a little longer.
“Dani, if you're tired, you can rest you know? I'll be right here when you wake up.”
She looks startled by my voice and then a look of worry flashes through her eyes as she whispers, “It's ok, sir. I'm not that tired.”
“You sure? I'm just gonna sit right here and watch the game. I won't even move.”
“Honestly Eli, I'm ok.”
She called me by my name again. I love how it sounds coming from her lips. I'm sure I shot her a lopsided grin, because she blushed like she had just realised what she'd done. I just simply said, “I like it when you say my name, rather than sir.”
She just picked at the knees on her trousers so I went back to watching the game.
Almost an hour later and the game was nearly finished. The Jets were playing the Colts and we were winning by a long stretch. I think Dani has actually fallen asleep. Her head is resting on her knees and she hasn't moved or spoken in a while. I don't want to move in case I scare her, but I can't stay here all night. That will really freak her out. I'm just trying to figure out how to leave without disturbing her, when Dani screams and jumps up, clawing at her clothes and skin. I can tell that she doesn't realise I'm here by the wild and confused look in her eyes.
She must realise it's a dream because she tries to calm herself down and steady her breathing. I smile slightly when I hear her counting out loud, just like I taught her. I don't want to scare her any more than she already is, but I have to let her know I'm still here.
I whisper, “Dani?”
She screams again and backs away as fast as a scared little animal.
“It's just me, sweetheart. It's Eli... Shhhh, calm down. You're ok, it's ok...”
I see tears spilling from her eyes and sobs wracking her body, and I feel completely helpless. I know I can't comfort her or go near her and that kills me.
“What happened, sweetheart?”
She doesn't answer at first. I think she's still trying to steady herself. Eventually she whispers, “I'm sorry, sir.”
“What have you got to be sorry about? You did nothing wrong. Was it a nightmare?”
She just nods ever so slightly, but to me it's almost like a door opening in a dark hallway. I know she's nowhere near ready to talk, but admitting she has nightmares is definitely a step towards it.
“Do you have them often? Is that why you can't sleep?”
“I can handle it. It's ok.”
“It's ok to not be ok, Dani. If you ever want to talk after a nightmare, just give me a call. It doesn't matter what time it is, and you don't even have to talk about it. If you just want to hear a friendly voice to calm you down, just call me. Ok?”
“Thank you, sir.”
I wait until Dani's breathing is sort of back to normal before I say, “I should go and let you get some rest. I should be back in a week or so, but if you need anything, just give me a call. My number is still on your refrigerator. Ok?”
“Yes sir.”
“Promise me you'll call.”
She looks shocked at that. Like no one has ever cared about her wellbeing before.
“I promise.”
“Thank you, sweetheart.”
I collect my jacket and gun, say my goodbyes and head out feeling like I have some kind of insight into Dani's life. It might be small, but it's still something to work with.
***** I am sooooooooooooo sorry it's taken me so long to upload this chapter. Things have been crazy. We had to get all the hay baled and stacked at work, then we had to have a few horses put to sleep, & my dog is 6 weeks pregnant. When she has her pups I should have more time to upload because I won't be at work for a few weeks.
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Thanks for reading :)