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"What you guys don't understand is, for us, kissing is as important as any part of it," Monica explained.
The group was sat in Central Perk discussing the importance of kissing.
"Yeah, right!" Joey scoffed, "Wait, you're serious?"
"Oh, yeah!" Phoebe nodded.
"Everything you need to know is in that first kiss," Rachel added.
"It's a make or break," Veronica agreed.
"Yeah, I think for us, kissing is pretty much like an opening act, y'know? I mean it's like the stand-up comedian you have to sit through before Pink Floyd comes out," Chandler explained.
"Yeah, and-and it's not that we don't like the comedian, it's that-that... that's not why we bought the ticket," Ross giggled.
"The problem is, though, after the concert's over, no matter how great the show was, you girls are always looking for the comedian again, y'know? I mean, we're in the car, we're fighting traffic... basically just trying to stay awake," Chandler scoffed.
"Yeah, well, word of advice; bring back the comedian. Otherwise, next time you're gonna find yourself sitting at home, listening to that album alone," Rachel rolled her eyes.
Joey looked around before leaning to Veronica, "Are we still talking about sex?"
"Yes sweetie," Veronica laughed and laid her head against his shoulder.
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"Oh, I think this is the episode of Three's Company where there's some kind of misunderstanding," Chandler nodded his head to the TV.
"Then I've already seen this one!" Phoebe turned off the TV.
Chandler glared at her before sighing.
Monica was sat on the floor by the coffee table scrubbing away like there was no tomorrow.
"Are you through with that?" She pulled the cup of juice right out of Joey's hand before he could even answer.
"Yeah, sorry, the swallowing slowed me down," Joey huffed.
Veronica patted his back as he coughed.
"Whose little ball of paper is this?!" Monica fumed.
"Oh, uh, that would be mine. See, I wrote a note to myself, and then I realized I didn't need it, so I balled it up and-" He paused when he noticed Monica's death glare, "How I wish I was dead."
She rolled her eyes and threw it away before she began fluffing the couch pillows.
"She's already fluffed that pillow," Phoebe whispered before turning to her, "Monica, you know, you've already fluffed that- but it's fine!"
Phoebe sat down quietly once Monica glared at her.
"Hey Mon, wanna tone it down. Like a lot," Veronica smiled dryly.
Monica sighed. "Look, I'm sorry, guys, I just don't wanna give them any more ammunition than they already have."
"Yes, and we all know how cruel a parent can be about the flatness of a child's pillow," Chandler joked.
"Monica! Um, Monica, you're scaring me. I mean, you're like, you're like all chaotic and twirly. And not-not in a good way," Phoebe winced.
"Yeah, calm down. You don't see Ross getting all chaotic and twirly every time they come," Joey pointed out
Monica scoffed. "That's because as far as my parents are concerned, Ross can do no wrong. Y'see, he's the Prince. Apparently they had some big ceremony before I was born."
"Ew, ew, ew, ew ew ew ew ew!" Chandler yelled.
"What?" Monica rushed towards him.
"Ugly Naked Guy got a Thighmaster!" Chandler pointed to the window.
They all groaned in disgust as they stood in front of the window.
Rachel walked out of her room nervously.
"Has anybody seen my engagement ring?"
Phoebe smiled. "Yeah, it's beautiful."
"Not since you took it off," Veronica shrugged.
"Oh God, oh God, oh God, oh God, oh God, oh God," Rachel winced as she began flipping over the pillows on the couch.
"No, look, don't touch that!" Phoebe's eyes widened in worry as her head snapped towards Monica.
By now, Veronica was helping her search; knocking over cups and jars looking in the kitchen.
"Oh, like I wasn't dreading tomorrow enough, having to give it back to him. 'Hi Barry! Remember me? I'm the girl in the veil who stomped on your heart in front of your entire family!' Oh God and now I'm gonna have to return the ring, without the ring, which makes it so much harder!" Rachel whimpered.
Veronica patted her shoulder comfortingly and kissed the top of her head. "I can always go with you, Rach."
"No, no, this is something I have to do," Rachel grimaced, "If I can find the ring!"
"Easy Rach, we'll find it," Monica smiled reassuringly, "Won't we!"
Chandler and Joey smiled when Monica turned to them. "Oh! Yeah!"
"Yes, we will. We'll find the ring, you'll give it back to Barry and this will all be over. And then, you can borrow my Dior earrings that you like."
"You're finally letting me borrow your stuff again?" Rachel grinned.
"Oh, honey no," Veronica scoffed, "This is just a one time deal."
"Ronnie," Rachel whined.
"I let you borrow my Chanel Slingback shoes for one night in college and you came back with half of one shoe!" Veronica glared at her.
"Half?" Monica asked.
Veronica frowned. "Half."
"Alright, when'd ya have it on last?" Joey asked as he looked under the couch cushions.
"Doy! Before Rachel lost them," Phoebe rolled her eyes.
"The ring Phoebe, not the shoes!" Rachel huffed.
Chandler paused. "You don't get a lot of 'doy' these days."
"So not important right now!" Veronica huffed as she crouched on the floor.
"I know I had it this morning, and I know I had it when I was in the kitchen with..." Rachel trailed off, her eyes widening.
"Dinah?" Chandler continued for her.
Rachel walked over to the lasagna Monica made. "Don't be mad..."
Monica froze. "You didn't."
"Oh, I am sorry," Rachel winced.
"I gave you one job!" Monica huffed as she picked up the lasagna and held it up to try and see the ring.
"Oh, but look how straight those noodles are!" Rachel tried to lighten the mood.
"Now, Monica, you know that's not how you look for an engagement ring in a lasagna," Chandler told her.
Monica frowned as she set down on the dinner table. "I just- I can't do it."
Chandler looked at Phoebe and Joey. "Boys? We're going in."
The three stood around the dinner table and began to dig through the lasagna.
Monica opened the door when they heard a knock.
"Hi," Ross sighed.
"Wow. That is not a happy hi," Monica laughed.
"Carol's pregnant."
Everyone froze in their place and looked at him in shock.
Phoebe was the one to break the silence.
"Oh! I found it!" She held up the ring happily.
"Well- What, w-what?" Monica asked her older brother.
"Yeah. Do that for another two hours, you might be where I am right about now."
"Kinda puts that whole pillow thing in perspective, huh, Mon?" Chandler chuckled.
"Well now, how do you fit into this whole thing?" Rachel asked.
"Well, Carol says she and Susan want me to be involved, but if I'm not comfortable with it, I don't have to be involved. Basically it's entirely up to me," Ross sighed as he threw himself onto the couch.
Phoebe smiled. "She is so great! I miss her."
"Not a good time to say that, Pheebs," Veronica shook her head.
"What does she mean by 'involved'?" Monica sat down next to him.
"I mean, presumably, the biggest part of your job is done," Chandler shrugged.
Ross glared at him. "Anyway, they want me to go down to this- sonogram thing with them tomorrow."
"So what are you gonna do?" Veronica asked him.
"I have no idea. No matter what I do, though, I'm still gonna be a father."
Before anyone could say anything else they were cut off by the sound of metal hitting against glass.
Joey was digging into the lasagna.
Everyone gave him disapproving looks.
"Well, this is still ruined, right?" he scoffed before he went back to eating.
Veronica shrugged and nodded before joining him.
Joey smiled up at her before handing her a fork.
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"Your folks are really that bad, huh?" Joey asked Monica.
As soon as their parents were gone Ross and Monica went down to Central Perk with the rest of the group. Rachel was closing up tonight so they had the whole place to themselves.
Monica was laying across the couch, her head in Veronica's lap as she complained about the dinner.
"Well, y'know, these people are pros. They know what they're doing, they take their time, they get the job done." Ross explained.
"Boy, I know they say you can't change your parents," Monica sighed, "Boy if you could I'd want yours."
Ross laughed as Monica pointed to him before standing up and kissing the top of her forehead.
"Must pee," He told his friends before walking away.
"Y'know, it's even worse when you're twins," Phoebe told Monica.
"You're a twin?" Rachel asked her.
"Yeah. We don't speak. She's like this high-powered, driven career type."
"What does she do?" Chandler asked.
"She's a waitress."
"All right, you guys, I kinda gotta clean up now," Rachel sighed.
Everyone, save for Ross who was still in the bathroom, made their way to the door.
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"Well? Isn't that amazing?" Ross grinned as he pointed to the TV
He'd brought a video of the baby's sonogram to Monica's apartment to show the group.
Joey tilted his head. "What are we supposed to be seeing here?"
"I dunno, but I think it's about to attack the Enterprise," Chandler added.
"You know, if you tilt your head to the left, and relax your eyes, it kinda looks like an old potato," Phoebe pointed to the TV.
Ross huffed. "Then don't do that, alright?"
"Okay!" Phoebe nodded.