Jaimie walks over and puts her hand on the table, riffling the pages of my art book with her thumb.
"That's nice" she says, nodding at my painting.
"Oh...thanks" I say, my throat cracks dryly. I wash my paintbrush and get up to throw the water away. Jaimie waits for me, and stays silent as I pack away my photographs and paints and palette, and put my art book back in my draw.
"So...word on the street is that you and Laura broke up..."
I suppress a scream...
"We didn't break up" I croak, "she had to move..."
Jaimie is silent for a moment as I put the rest of my stuff away,
"So, is it like a long distance thing?"
I slam the flap of my bag down and do up the buckles, "I don't know...I don't know anything..." I look up at her, my eyes swimming with tears, "we barely spoke...after she told me...we spent every moment together but we didn't talk about anything...it was like she was ignoring me...and...and...now she's gone..." My voice squeaks. Jaimie darts forward and hugs me. I press my face into her shoulder...my tears soak into her jumper...
She's so much shorter than Laura...it's harder to hug her...it doesn't feel right...
With Laura, every hug meant so much more...
means so much more...
She's not dead, Sam...
She'll be back...
She'll be back.
Jaimie's arms release me. I collapse back onto one of the stools and put my head in my hands.
She sits on a stool in front of me,
"So...where did she move to?"
"Oh...Canada...she has family there..."
Jaimie bites her lip, "that's quite a long way away..."
"Yeah..."
"So how are you handling it..."
I look at her tragically. "How do you think?" My voice breaks,
"Sam...you've just had to say goodbye to your girlfriend, the love of your life...of course you're sad, of course you're depressed of course you feel this way!"
"The love of my life?" I laugh,
She smiles crookedly at me..."well, sometimes you can just...tell"
My laughter fades, I feel myself welling up again. I run my thumbnail along the grooves in the edge of the table, cutting into the soft wood. She puts a hand on my shoulder, I look her in the eyes. My heart thuds.
"Yeah. I guess you're right..."
"Sam. You don't have to try and hide it, okay. It's better to cry and get it over with than keep it all bottled up...and I'll always be here for you to talk to and...cry on"
I smile weakly and her hand slips into mine. A new hand. Strange. Small. Warm. Different.
"So, how are you anyway?" I try and laugh but it comes out blandly,
"I'm...I'm fine. Sam...I kinda needed your help with something actually..."
"Yeah...?" Anything to hide the pain, anything...
"I think I might be a lesbian...and I know you are...so..."
My heart plummets and soars at the same time, making me feel slightly sick, "yeah..."
"Well y'know, I was wondering if you could maybe...well...I sorta like Tilly...do you know..."
"If she's gay? Oh...um...I'm not sure" I say, feeling bland and dead again, but at least I have something to take my mind off...Laura.
"I just...well I love her, or you know not love but...like as a friend I have so many more feelings for her...and it seemed to work so well for you and Laura, but I don't want to do anything that could screw up our friendship...I dunno...what should I do?" She shrugs, playing with the sleeves of her jumper.
I sigh and bite my lip. "Look. You guys are great friends...just go for it okay...tell her and let her make up her own mind, and leave the option to just stay friends open..."
She nods, "okay...how should I tell her?"
"I think...just like you told me...the more confident you are the better I guess...cause well firstly it makes everything clearer and also it shows that if she doesn't feel the same, you won't be hurt if she says no..."
"Alright...ok...That makes sense..." She says nodding vigorously, "thanks"
"No problem" I smile.
"So, are you gonna be okay then..." She asks, jumping up and looking at the clock, almost 1.15, only 15 minutes left.
"I'll live...but thanks for talking to me and everything...it really helps I really appreciate it" I say standing and hooking my bag over my shoulder. She hugs me again.
"I'm gonna find Tilly 'Kay..." She rushes towards the door,
"Yeah...I think I'll go have some lunch, good luck with Tilly and everything"
She smiles widely, "thanks"
I watch her dash along the hallway and down the stairs, before making my way up to the canteen.
~~~~~~~~~~~>>~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ok so I know this ones super short--sorry 😱 but as you can probably tell I have no time to spare 😩 also I decided I wanted to go back to Laura's POV now but I still wanted this bit in...
MANY apologies for the ridiculously long gaps, but I am still thinking and writing whenever I can so keep on the lookout for new uploads, love y'all :3 💙❤💛