Or, we can get through anything...if we promise to stick together.
Feng He woke up to find Cheng Qing staring at him. The expression on his face was so sweet that he couldn't help but reach up and kiss his nose. "Good morning."
"Good morning...my love." Cheng Qing responded and imitated Feng He's move by placing a peck on his nose. "How did you sleep?"
"The best I ever have." Feng He whispered. "What got into you last night?"
Feng He wasn't complaining. Their love making had left him breathless and satisfied but even more than that it had made him feel loved. It was so good to see Cheng Qing like that. Feng He was intent on making it a habit to have the other man lose his control; let everything go and just be himself. The rewards were well worth it, although he might never get out of bed again if that was the inducement. Then again an addiction to the man he loved wouldn't be so bad, would it?
"I read your letter." Cheng Qing confessed after a long while.
His statement caught Feng He midway through his musings. He sounded uncertain but he was also smiling happily. It was hard for Feng He to decide how to respond. The letter and everything he had revealed in it still made him blush all the way to the roots of his dark, short hair and knowing for certain that Cheng Qing knew his feelings only made him that much more self-conscious.
"My letter?" Feng He asked even though he knew very well what the other man was talking about.
"The one you wrote for me." Cheng Qing clarified. He was trying to read Feng He's face to make sure he wasn't making another mistake like he had the last time but his boyfriend wasn't giving him much to go on.
"Ohh..." Feng He said.
Really...was that an actual response? Cheng Qing would have strangled him if he didn't already love him so much. "Is that all you can say?"
"I wrote that a few weeks ago and when you didn't say anything I thought..." Feng He shrugged.
Cheng Qing knew that move. It was code for, 'he didn't know what to say or he didn't want to say what he knew'. Either way, Feng He was trying to spare him and he didn't want any part of it.
"You thought what?" Cheng Qing asked insistently.
Feng He shrugged again and just kept quiet but his eyes were speaking volumes. He was afraid that Cheng Qing didn't feel the same way he did. Or perhaps he did feel the same way. Both prospects were equally terrifying.
"I found it under the table on Friday morning when I was cleaning." Cheng Qing finally explained hoping that would ease some of the tension that had crept in between them.
"Ohh..."
"Did you want me to read it or not?" Cheng Qing finally asked.
He was no longer willing to guess because the chances that he would get it wrong were increasing just as the stakes for their conversation rose. That letter already meant so much to him but it would never replace the feelings he had for Feng He. Feelings he thought were already so strong when they started but had grown exponentially since then. Feelings that – for the first time – he believed Feng He reciprocated in full.
If the fall from a single note penned by Meng Meng as a joke had nearly destroyed them. He had no idea what a letter so complete altering would do to them if Feng He didn't give him something more than, 'Ohh.'
"I wanted you to read it." Feng He explained quietly when Cheng Qing didn't say anything more. "I just didn't realise it had fallen on the ground. I thought you didn't have anything to say...or perhaps you wanted to wait until the exams were through. I didn't want to pressure you..."
"Do you...you...think I have that kind of patience?" Cheng Qing asked pinning Feng He beneath him once he felt secure in the knowledge that this was not a joke. That Feng He had meant every word he said. It was like his blood was effervescing. He felt like he was growing lighter and happier and fuller with every second. "I wanted to grab you and make love to you the minute I found it. But you seemed so unaffected."
"I was trying to forget about it." Feng He explained.
The distress of moments ago had been replaced by happiness and he was smiling at Cheng Qing. The seductive tilt of his head adding a new dimension. He was more confident in his place. More aware of the power he had over Cheng Qing. So happy that they were making these discoveries together. So even though Cheng Qing looked at him doubtfully, he was prepared when the other man asked, "Why?"
"So that I could concentrate on studying." He explained. He tried to get up just to make his point but Cheng Qing wouldn't let him. "We still have to go through..."
"No..." Cheng Qing interrupted.
"No?"
"No...you will not use studying as an excuse to avoid me." He was smiling teasingly.
"No...you will not pretend that you forgot about the letter because that is not possible." He said kissing Feng He lightly then pulling back to look at him blush.
"No...you cannot take it back."
"I don't want to take it back." Feng He said surprising Cheng Qing again – as if that was possible.
But the surprise didn't last as smug satisfaction took over. He was loved after all...it made him feel invincible.
"Good." He whispered right against Feng He's ear. "Because all I want to do now is kiss you and hold you and tell you...that I felt the same way..."
Feigning anger he shock Feng He, "Do you know how afraid I was that this was another prank from Meng Meng? But I couldn't stop the happiness...the joy...A-He...how can you not know?
"I want to tell my parents that I am going to marry you some day because it is the only way I can think of to tie you to me with as many invisible chains as possible. I want to make you mine and make sure everyone knows it so that nobody can take you away from me ever again. But I am afraid you will think I am crazy, that we were too young or we aren't ready for that kind of commitment or...."
"...that I didn't want to be with you." Feng He finished.
"Yes."
Their greatest fear finally put into words.
"I want to. I'm afraid because of how much I want to. It's so crazy." Feng He said with a small smile tinged with something akin to regret. "All those reasons are valid...you know that, right? We are too young. We've only been together for a short while. Our parents aren't even fully on board and I don't want to disappoint them. But I want this..."
"So do I. So...let's just do it."
"What?" Feng He asked in surprise. Was Cheng Qing proposing to him? In bed?
"Let's get engaged."
He was!
"We can take our time planning everything. We can wait until you are done with college or whenever you want. Just...I love you. I want to be with you."
"Forever?" It was his most ardent wish and Feng He needed to know that Cheng Qing wanted it too.
"Like you've never seen it before."
They kissed. Achingly slow. Vowing just as fervently with their lips and their bodies as with their words. Seeking and satisfying. Holding on to each other with love. Not greedy and demanding but open and willing to adjust to whatever came their way. Choosing to be there rather than fighting to keep each other captive. Each one having compelling reasons to remain instead of walk away.
Their moans of pleasure filled the air. The rustle of their bedsheets. The slide and slap of flesh against flesh. The hiss and the gasp and the groan affording a sweet symphony of sounds to accompany the gentle possession. The breath-taking union. The violent eruption.
Harsh breathing filled the air. Then...quiet.
~
"I don't care what else happens...as long as you stay with me." Cheng Qing whispered not wanting to break the mood that had settled around them like a protective cloak.
"I will." Feng He swore.
"You promise?"
"Yes!"
It was a vow...it was a solemn oath. To each other they were willing to bear witness and hold each other accountable. There was nothing they couldn't get through...together. Their love was completed by their commitment.
THE END