Or, perhaps real life isn't stranger than fiction
It was a rather vain habit but whenever Cheng Qing was bored, he put his name into Google just to see what would come up. Most of the time it was information on whatever show he was currently working on, or pictures from events that were linked to the production or promotion. No scandals had been attached to him although there were plenty of times a fan or two had gone too far and he'd found rather distasteful images of himself online.
Expecting that or something similar, he was surprised when a search result he'd never seen before popped up on the front page. Clicking on the link he was taken to a website where a writer with the user name Qing Meng Jian Wo* had posted a lot of stories. His name featured prominently in the key words as did Feng He's.
[*Author's Note: I tried to think of a user name that put Meng Meng's name with either Feng He or Cheng Qing and this was the best I could come up with. It literally translates into 'Please Dream of Me' [Pinyin: Qǐng mèng jiàn wǒ Hanzi simplified 请梦见我] which I think is so appropriate. I don't speak Chinese (...very well. Yet!) so any errors are mine with the help of Google translate because I know the Hanzi and pronunciation for their names are different.]
All of them were in the category of BL, yaoi or LGBT.
A little further down the list of tags was a smut warning.
He was so curious about it he immediately opened the page. Clicking on the first titled 'My Best Friend's Wedding', Cheng Qing started reading without much thought for what he would find. It didn't take him long to realize the story was based on him. Or at least a version of him that this writer imagined he was. The other person in the story was Feng He.
It was funnier than he thought of himself and definitely more interesting than his day to day life could readily afford but the story was well written. It was reason enough to continue scrolling down. Until he came across the first mention of Feng He...
The picture attached was one he didn't recognize. He and Feng He were captured walking down an empty boulevard. They bodies were closer together than was strictly friendly. Feng He was looking down at the ground and Cheng Qing was looking at him. The profile of his face not enough to show his expression.
He could remember that day vividly. The way they had talked; like all their barriers were down and they didn't need to pretend for just a little while. The way Feng He's body had felt against him when he'd prevented his near collision with a bike rider. How hard he had spent the rest of the evening trying not to let his feelings ruin what was a perfect evening.
The picture was of them. Taken candidly.
The story continued...
"I remember everything. I remember the first time I saw you looking at me like I had just invaded your world. I remember wanting to kiss you and having no reason to do it. I remember sharing breakfast with you at our table. The first time I wiped the sauce from your lips and wished it was my lips not my fingers that grazed your mouth. I remember wishing you would give me a sign...and when you did..."
How imaginative was this author that they could see right into this heart and into his mind? Cheng Qing wondered.
"There was a light in his eyes that spoke to the love in his heart. Cheng Qing recognized it. Knew without a doubt that nothing would come between them if they stood together as one. Not even Feng He's best friend. The one whom everyone thought was his girlfriend. The one person whom Cheng Qing felt insecure around – Mǐn.*"
What was this? Was it a love story between Feng He and this person or was it about Cheng Qing and Feng He? It didn't matter because Cheng Qing was hooked. He wanted to know what was going to happen. Who Feng He was going to end up with. Whether he would chose his best friend or his boyfriend. The teaser may have set the stage but the story reeled him in and would not let go.
[*Author's Note: More help from google translate. This is a common given name. It can be for boys or girls and means 'quick' or 'clever'. A worthwhile alter ego for Meng Meng don't you think?]
Dark shadows extended across the room as the sun went down. Cheng Qing was so engrossed in the novel he was reading he didn't notice the light fade. His face looked like an eerie mask; brightly illuminated by the glow of his computer screen while the rest of the room was steeped in shadows.
If he'd been reading a book he would have licked his finger to turn the pages one after another. Seeking a physical experience to make up for the journey his imagination had been taken on. Cheng Qing's world had so completely been taken over by the web Qing Meng Jian Wo had woven around him that he didn't hear Feng He's key in the lock. Or his entry into their apartment. The only warning he had of his roommates arrival was the sudden flood of light from the overhead lamp.
"Why are you sitting in the dark?" Feng He asked as he put his bag on the hook by the door and removed his shoes.
Cheng Qing closed the computer quickly. His guilt ridden face giving him away to Feng He who managed the subtle raise of one eyebrow at his strange behaviour. "Where you watching porn?"
"No!"
Feng He looked at him closely, taking in everything. Then in an uncharacteristic gesture, moved closer to Cheng Qing and pointed out what he could see. "Then why is your face red, your breath kinda weird and why do you have...that...?"
Cheng Qing actually cupped his crotch to prevent Feng He from staring at his distended pants but it was too late for that. No matter that he was embarrassed and Feng He was clearly waiting for an explanation, there was no way for Cheng Qing to explain what he had been doing. What he had been reading. Not without having to explain how he got there, why he stayed there and exactly what a perfect stranger was suggesting they did behind closed doors.
"What is wrong with you? Usually you are so talkative. Today it's like the cat got your tongue." Feng He said accusingly as he casually went about changing into more comfortable clothes. Like they were having a perfectly normal conversation.
Only, Cheng Qing wasn't responding. He was actually taken aback by the sudden attack. Then he realized that Feng He was acting out of character. He was talkative. He was invading Cheng Qing's personal space. He was acting possessive. Did he have an idea of what Cheng Qing had been doing? Or was he just reacting to what he imagined he'd been up to?
It was a strange new tapestry. Was the solution to Feng He's reticence ignoring him?
It wasn't like Cheng Qing was able to do it most of the time. Whenever the other man was in his presence he couldn't help but reach out with words or gestures. He wanted to own him in any way he could and his continuous desire for Feng He's attention kept him on his toes. Ready with a response whether physical or verbal. But he was truly speechless right now. Faced with a dilemma he could not find answer to he looked up at Feng He...
"Do you want me to tell the truth...or lie?"
"Is that even a choice...?" Feng He waited but when he got no response from Cheng Qing he added, "Tell the truth of course."
"I was reading fan fiction."
"What?"
"Stories about us by people we don't know."
"Why?" Feng He asked clearly very confused by the concept.
"I just found it by accident."
"Why is there someone writing stories about us?"
"It's supposed to be fun."
"For them or for us."
"I don't think we are supposed to know about it."
"I don't understand..."
Clearly. Cheng Qing turned the laptop towards Feng He, "Open it."
Following the simple instructions Feng He opened the laptop and the last page Cheng Qing had been reading was still open. Feng He continued reading from the same point. First he coughed without cause. Then he started spattering uncontrollably at each new line. Finally his face went red after a few more minute of reading. After a couple more, he looked like he was about to blow a gasket.
"How can they write...who would think of...why...ugh...I don't know what I want to ask." He pushed the laptop away and went to the kitchen and stood by the counter for a few seconds. Then he came back to the bed but didn't sit down. Instead he walked to the window and closed the curtains before walking back to where Cheng Qing was watching his pacing with a soft smile on his face.
He finally came back and sat down next to Cheng Qing. Pulling the laptop closer, Feng He continued reading the story. Cheng Qing knew when he got to the end of the page because Feng He choked...exactly the way he had.
"Is that what you want to do with me?"
Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. The refrain was echoing inside Cheng Qing's head with the force of a blacksmith's hammer on an anvil. Then he finally found his voice and answered softly, "Yes."
He had to bang on Feng He's back when the smaller man choked again. His reaction not assuring Cheng Qing of the possibility of making this particular fan fiction scenario a reality. Even though he was suddenly too invested in the possibility.
His wish might have transmitted itself across their shared distance because Feng He looked at him with an odd determination etched in his face, "I...want...uhmm...." he hesitated, "Can we try?"
Cheng Qing couldn't believe what he was hearing. But he wasn't going to pass up the chance – not when it mattered so much. Not when Feng He was giving him such a gift.
"Yes." So softly it was barely audible.
"What should I do?"
It was official. Feng He was trying to kill him. It would be so simple too. He had no resistance against his charms and when he was like this, the combination of shy and open; willing and worried. It made Cheng Qing want to grab hold and never let go. He would have to satisfy himself with the grabbing part because he pulled Feng He down onto the bed with him and straddled his hips. "Just go with me."
Feng He nodded. His hands reaching up to touch Cheng Qing's face. Drawing him down so their mouths met in a gentle kiss. Then Cheng Qing took over. His mouth the centre of so many nerve endings affording them a plethora of sensation. The taste the touch, the tingling teasing textures of teeth, tongue and tonsils. Heat like a burning flame; scorching away resistance. Fuelling the fires of desire. Sending them careening into a raging sea of sensory satisfaction.
Such truer words had not been uttered. Such clear expression of a physical need had never been so eloquently put. Cheng Qing was hard pressed to find a way to take what was merely someone's imagination and turn it into reality. But he had Feng He with him. Together...together they could make anything happen.
There was a struggle against buttons and zips and snaps and belts but eventually they lay naked. Cheng Qing holding his body over Feng He's with difficulty. The rush of expectation weakening his hands even as Feng He did everything in his power to obliterate his control.
Feng He was holding Cheng Qing like he was afraid the other man would stop. His hands around his body, his finger clawing at his back leaving long stripes where his nails dug into soft flesh. The act causing an instant reaction – Cheng Qing arched his back. Threw his head back. His pelvis digging into Feng He's hip. The evidence of their arousal so blatantly obvious there was no denying how they felt about each other.
The waves of sensation flooding their bodies making them moan in unison. Cheng Qing doing his best not to get carried away on the wave of emotion and sensual pleasure that being this closely entwined with Feng He gave him. Reaching to stroke and tease only to get the same treatment from his partner. Begging for more. Begging him to stop.
Cheng Qing tried hard to focus. To remember what was at stake. The ultimate goal far greater than the momentary enjoyment. It was up to him to show Feng He what was possible. Going heavily on the lubricant, he invaded Feng He's body; first with fingers then with his cock and finally with such unbridled pleasure that Feng He was moaning desperately, pleading for mercy.
There was no clue left on how to be temperate. Need was like a raging storm. Their union like a maelstrom inside their four walls. Crushing them against each other in pounding waves of pleasure. Shattering all resistance against the invisible rocks of their shared landscape. Breaking them up into little pieces so that nothing was left but the love they felt for each other and a satisfaction so deep it felt like coming home.
They rested. It was the only way to gather to themselves the pieces that had been scattered by the force of their shared orgasm. Breath that was harsh and hurried found steady rhythm. Shudders that racked through their bodies stilled and left them weak and boneless. The electrified sensations that had zinged and zapped through their bodies quieting down to a low buzz.
Kissing slowly. Alive together in the safe harbour of each other's arms. Where their souls were still so deeply entangled they couldn't tell where each ended and the other begun. They slept.
Cheng Qing woke up in the night to use the bathroom. He remembered to come with a wet clothes and wiped away the evidence of their union from Feng He's body. The gentle swipes made the other man moan in his sleep; the sound sending a spike of need through Cheng Qing so he had to physically restrain himself from jumping Feng He even as he continued in sleep.
There would be time enough for them to enjoy this. He just had to be careful that his appetite didn't overrun his love for the man sleeping peacefully beside him.
~
Cheng Qing caught up with Meng Meng when he got to school. "I didn't know you could write so well."
"What are you talking about?"Meng Meng asked looking genuinely confused.
"I've seen you scribbling things in you notepad and taking photos of Feng He and I more than once. I was wondering who would have such easy access to Feng He and I, they would have candid photos of us walking in the park. Then I remembered you were there that day."
'What are you talking about?"
"I'm talking about Qing Meng Jian Wo and the interesting stories she writes." Cheng Qing explained. His whispered words just loud enough that only Meng Meng would catch them.
"I don't know what you are talking about."
"Oh...if it isn't you then I guess you won't mind me reporting the site for copyright infringement." Cheng Qing hoped Meng Meng wouldn't see through his bluff but he persisted. "Some people are just too shameless. They should get punished for using my name without permission."
"Wait...what? I wasn't trying to do anything like that. I was just having fun."
"A-ha...I knew it." Cheng Qing crowed victorious. "It had to be you."
"Wait are you saying you didn't know it was me."
"I had an inkling but I wasn't sure." He said with a shrug. "You just confirmed it."
"So what are you going to do?"
"Thank you for what you wrote." Cheng Qing said walking away after that cryptic statement.
Meng Meng followed him for most of the day trying to figure out what he meant by that but Cheng Qing wouldn't tell her. In the end she just had to use her imagination and it offered up a lot of possible scenarios, each more interesting than the last.
That night there was a new fanfiction on her page title "Secret Rendezvous."