Or, Cheng Qing needs Feng He to speak up or we can use his mouth for something else.
Cheng Qing had been working full out. The production company had been kind enough to let him complete his exams in peace but his school break was fully occupied by post-production requirements. He had to be on set every day often before the sun came up and long after it had set.
He hated it.
So many days had passed with him leaving the house before Feng He was awake and returning after he was already asleep. It was a good thing that he at least got to sleep with Feng He otherwise they would never see each other. But Cheng Qing knew it was not the way he wanted to spend his school holidays. He wanted to do stuff...with Feng He.
To get to know him better. To break through that hard exterior shell for good and live in the soft and sweet and wonderful heart that Feng He possessed.
No matter how much he wanted to rage against the schedule he was on, Cheng Qing understood that if he was willing to sacrifice this time, he would have all the freedom to do what he wanted later on. The promotions for the show would be a necessary part of his responsibilities but that would happen after the first few episodes of the series he was in had aired.
So he endured.
The start of the new term was in line with the end of his last project. Then he could concentrate on his relationship with Feng He. Living together, going to school together...he would have all the time he needed to break down Feng He's walls.
"I know we are done here...." Cheng Qing said to his manager as the post-production crew enjoyed their last-day party with drinks and food. "...but I was wondering if you'd heard anything from the overseas company."
"I don't think the timeline will work with everything else you have going." Hsiao Ming said lost in thought. "You just need to concentrate on your school work for now. There will be other projects but this is the last time you get to be an ordinary student."
Cheng Qing knew all this. What he didn't tell his manager was that he wanted to make sure the offer wasn't going to crawl out of the woodwork and bite him in the ass. He needed to stay here. He still needed to finish the final exams so he could graduate. One more term to go and that would be the end of his formal education. If he had Feng He to study with, he might even pass. Yet, there were other considerations.
If he got the job it meant he might have to leave the country. That would mean leaving Feng He. That was out of the question. But what if the job really came through? Would he be able to turn it down?
Cheng Qing was still worrying about the possibility when he got home. Feng He playing his guitar. The look of concentration on his face as he plucked at the cords sending blood south as Cheng Qing imagined himself under that careful manipulation. He wanted to replace the instrument with his body but he satisfied himself with leaning against the wall and listening. Loving the sound of Feng He's voice and the way it had the power to soothe his worries away.
The familiar song was nearly at an end when he noticed something bubbling in pot on the stove. "Were you waiting for me?" He finally asked just as Feng He played the last chord and put the guitar to the side of the couch.
"Yes. I'm glad your home."
Cheng Qing felt like someone had constricted his heart. How could Feng He say something so profound and making it seem so casual; so simple. It was so like him to say something he thought was obvious and completely overwhelm Cheng Qing with it.
"What's for dinner?"
Cheng Qing didn't really care. It was the idea that they could sit and share a meal together that satisfied the cravings of his soul. His stomach would take whatever it could get. Then again Feng He was a great cook and he doubted there was anything he could make that would give pause to Cheng Qing's palate.
Dinner was a quiet affair. He let Feng He set the pace and for him, it seemed, eating in silence was his ideal. They cleared the table and washed dishes together by which time Cheng Qing couldn't stand the quiet any more.
"Are you going to say anything?" The confused look on Feng He's face was priceless and Cheng Qing had to laugh. "Can you really spend an entire evening without saying a word?
"I didn't think I needed to say anything." Feng He said cautiously.
"Are you saying you are comfortable with me that you don't think you have to do anything?" Cheng Qing whispered in his ear. "Are you taking me for granted already?"
"No. Of course not. I would never do that."
"Prove it."
"Prove it? How?"
Cheng Qing patted his cheek with two fingers. There was no way to misunderstand the gesture. And when understanding finally hit, Feng He blushed furiously and looked away. But the dishes were done and there was nothing he could pretend to do instead of looking at Cheng Qing.
"You see." He said softly not yet done teasing Feng He. "I think you don't even think of me at all."
Feng He's ears were now the same shade of red as his face but he was looking at Cheng Qing directly. He opened his mouth then closed it then tried again and finally admitted, "I think about you all the time."
The moment the words were out of his mouth, Feng He felt like he was going to die. Why had he letting Cheng Qing bait him? Why had he allowed the other man to paint him into a corner? Feng He liked how easy it was to be around Cheng Qing now that he wasn't twisting himself up in knots trying to figure out the future without a crystal ball.
It hadn't occurred to him to say anything simply because he didn't feel the need to talk. To fill up the emptiness with inane chatter when he could just luxuriate in Cheng Qing's company. But he knew his step-brother had different needs and to hear him complain was a reminder that he had challenged himself to try and meet the other man halfway.
"I'm sorry. I guess I'm not used to talking so much." He said contritely.
"That's okay." Cheng Qing said, "I won't hold it against you...if you just make it up to me as agreed."
Could Feng He do it? Could he kiss the other man without losing himself? He had thought about what it would be like to get the chance...this chance. All the time he had spent alone while Cheng Qing worked had been filled with thoughts that he could not run away from forever.
So what would it take to let himself experience just one of them?
He turned to Cheng Qing with determination etching every fibre of his being. Squaring his shoulders. Clenching his fists and puffing out his chest. He could do this!
Cheng Qing had been leaning against the kitchen counter carelessly but he immediately straightened up when Feng He approached him. Trying hard not to let any other part of their bodies touch, like it mattered, Feng He lifted on tip toes and placed a chaste peck on Cheng Qing's cheek.
At least that had been his intention.
At the last minute Cheng Qing turned his head and their lips brushed against each other. He gasped in surprise. Cheng Qing smiled with his victory. But when their eyes met everything stopped.
Feng He reached up. His hand curling around Cheng Qing's head, carding his fingers through his hair and drawing him down to his level. Then he repeated the move. A chaste kiss on his mouth...only this time he lingered a little longer. When he pulled away he heard Cheng Qing's answering gasp.
"What was that for?
"I needed to...uhm...you know...uhm...know what it felt like...when∙it∙wasn't∙rushed."
"If that's what you wanted to know you could have just asked me." Cheng Qing said casually. But his words sent a shock of reaction through Feng He. If it was really that simple he would have done it already but it wasn't – not for him. Cheng Qing moved in on Feng He until the other man couldn't back away any further; the wall preventing further retreat. "All I've wanted to do is show you just what it can be like."
Feng He was looking up at Cheng Qing when he said that. Cheng Qing took advantage of his position to take his mouth. There was nothing chaste about his attack.
Cheng Qing pressed against Feng He's lips until he was forced to part them. Their lips melded, his top lip sucked into Cheng Qing's mouth. The teasing and sucking sending waves of sensation through him causing him to moan desperately. His hands going around Cheng Qing's shoulders as much to keep himself steady as to hold him closer.
Sensing the pleasure of his mouth, his tongue, his taste as the other man caressed his cheek and his chin and his neck. Drawing whimpers of reaction from him until he felt like his knees would give out and his heart would burst. When Cheng Qing moved to his neck he thought he might fall but the other man was holding him up.
"Please A Qing ...you have to..."
What? What did he want the other man to do? To keep kissing him. To stop. He was overwhelmed. He didn't know a kiss could feel like this. Could literally turn him inside out until all he knew was the desire for Cheng Qing and the unbearable need to fulfil that desire in some unknown way.
Cheng Wing did not let up the assault on his body. The caresses moved to his torso. His chest and back and stomach. When another round of kissed stole his breath away and left him aroused and distracted, Cheng Qing's hands slipped under his shirt. The touch of his cold hand against warm skin was like a reverse brand. Marking him in trails that followed the gentle caress from his shoulder to his waist.
"Uhmmm...A Qing...I..."
He couldn't think of what he wanted to say. What he wanted from Cheng Qing in that moment. That it was nearly impossible to even speak didn't help him articulate his needs or desire any better. But what did it matter. Cheng Qing seemed perfectly capable of understanding what he needed without him speaking a word.
His mouth was captured again. Plundered. Pleasured. Feng He allowed everything. His mouth invaded. The feeling of Cheng Qing's tongue teasing his lips, his teeth, dancing against his own tongue and sucking on it until he felt like someone had connected his mouth to his cock and the feeling was sending blood to his nether region with the steady pump that matched his speeding pulse and his stuttered, rapid breath. The awakened desire felt unstoppable.
"Please..."
"Oh god." Those were the first words Cheng Qing had uttered in a long while and Feng He was shocked by how guttural he sounded.
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I just got...carried away."
Feng He blinked like an owl. Shocked by Cheng Qing's sudden apology. Surprised by his abrupt and complete halt. Does he think I hated what he was doing? How could he reassure Cheng Qing that he had been right there with him every step of the way?
"It's okay."
"Yeah...?"
"Yes." And it really was.
They stood with their foreheads pressed together. Feng He hand a fist full of Cheng Qing's jacket still in his grasp and he wasn't ready to let go. Cheng Qing had a hand around his waist like a vice and he wasn't willing to let Feng He go.
Their breath steadied with nothing to insight it any more. Feng He could feel his pulse slow down. His body return to normal. His ardour cool. It was like they were both ready to cool things down. To step back and take stock of the passion neither of them had anticipated but were now fully steeped in.
Feng He thought it was probably Cheng Qing way of being considerate of him. Of letting things move slowly rather than rushing them towards something they weren't quite ready for. Feng He was grateful. But there was no going back after this discovery. New awareness meant new desire and if what had happened was any indication; he didn't yet have the self-control to stand against it.
~
It was like a flood gate had been opened. That night as they lay in bed in their favourite position. It was easy for Cheng Qing to lift his head from Feng He's shoulder and give him a kiss before they settled to sleep. In the morning, even before they had brushed their teeth, he got another kiss - a gentle nibble that left his mouth tingling and his heart hammering. While he was making breakfast, Cheng Qing brushed his lips against his temple. Held him in an embrace that lingered. Talked in soft tones that did nothing to break the spell he was methodically weaving around them.
And so it was for the entire weekend.
Whenever they were at home Cheng Qing afforded him the kind of consideration a lover would and he soaked up the attention like a dessert soaking up an unexpected downpour. The kisses were frequent but always chaste and quick. It was like he was being trained to accept Cheng Qing's touch. His consideration. His desire. His passion. And even though Feng He wasn't sure where it was all going. He was more than happy to follow.