SEUNGMIN
"Feel better now?" Chan calmly asked as he pats my head.
"Mhm," I murmured.
"Just remember, I'm always here if you ever needed someone to cry on, okay? Stop hiding your feelings Seungmin. It's not healthy."
"I'm sorry, hyung.. but thank you. Really, thank you. I never thought I would actually be able to release my feelings."
He giggled, "You can't fool me Seungmin. I can see in your eyes very well that you're not fine."
I smiled at him, "Now you're talking like a mother, hyung."
He smiled back. "Maybe because I really am a mother figure to the 7 of you?"
And we both chuckled.
"Hyung, it's getting late. I think I should check on Hyunjinnie before I go to sleep."
"Why? Where is he?"
"He said that he was going to practice with Miyoung, so I'm going to the campus right now to check on them."
"You're such a sweet boyfriend Seungmin." He replied with a chuckle and I returned with a smile.
* * * * *
HYUNJIN
"One, two, step. One, two, step. One, two, step." I continuously say as I guide Miyoung through our dance. "There, you're getting it!"
She giggled, "You're such a good lead, Jin-ah. I can't believe I'm actually having you teach me when I have been learning ballroom dancing since I was 5 years old."
"Well, maybe you forgot?"
"Yeah, that must be it."
And we both laughed. We both continued our dance until we were finally reaching the end.
I turned her around and for our final pose, I wrapped my arms around her waist and she wrap hers around my neck and we rested our forehead on each other, staring into each others eyes.
"Jin-ah, I really missed you." She whispered.
"Miyoung..."
What the fuck am I doing?!
"I'm sorry for leaving without saying anything... but I swear, I did love you."
"Miyoung, stop. We shouldn't be talking about this."
"Jin-ah... I know you already have Seungmin. But if perhaps... will you let me enter your heart again?"
Hwang Hyunjin, get the fuck off her. You already have Kim Seungmin, for fuck's sake!
"Jin-ah... I still love you..." She slowly leaned closer, gazing at my lips but then I have come to my senses so I quickly pushed her away.
"Miyoung, stop. Please, stop. This is wrong, this is so wrong. I'm with Seungmin now."
"But Jin-ah-"
"No, just... stop. Please, I don't wanna hurt Seungmin."
* * * * *
SEUNGMIN
I'm tired. I'm fucking tired.
I ran away immediately after seeing that painful scenario I just witnessed between Hyunjin and Miyoung.
What did I do to deserve this? I did everything. I hid the pain, just to make him not worry. And this is what I will receive?
Fuck it.
Fuck it.
Fuck it!
As soon as I reached our dorm, I quickly closed the door and fell to my knees, tears streaming down continuously.
"Please, just-stop the pain..." I murmured to myself.
Felix is not here, and Jisung is not here either. Where else am I supposed to go?
Chan-hyung.
I quickly grab my phone from my pocket and texted him to meet me at a certain place. I just badly needed someone to be with right now, I might do something harmful to myself if I'm all alone, breaking down in this silence.
We met at a park. There were only the two of us there, as it was already late.
"Seungmin?"
I quickly ran towards him and pulled him into a hug as I sob on his shoulders.
"Seungmin... what happened? What did you see?"
"Chan-hyung, I'm tired... I'm tired of getting hurt... I'm tired of acting okay..."
"It's okay to be tired, Seungmin... It's okay to be tired."
"I just want this pain to go away hyung..."
"Seungmin, the pain won't go away unless you face it. Stop hiding. Face the pain, that is the only way for everything to go away."
"But I can't hyung."
"You have to face the reality, Seungmin."
"Do I really have to?"
He slowly nodded, "Yes."
* * * * *
"Minnie!"
I froze after hearing his voice.
I couldn't face him, not yet. I'm not ready.
But I couldn't get away from him easily, as he hug me from the back.
"Minnie."
"J-Jinnie, what's up?"
Really Seungmin? 'What's up'? Are you fucking crazy?
"What? Is it wrong to hug my boyfriend?"
Stop acting like this, Hyunjin. It hurts... I don't know if you're lying to me or not...
"O-oh. W-well, I have to go now." I said as I remove his arms around my waist. "I still have to practice my performance with Daehwi. I-I'll see you later..." Then I immediately left, probably leaving him concerned and confused.
"Daehwi!" I called out as I saw my partner.
"Seungmin! I was just looking for you!"
I chuckled, "Let's practice?"
He nodded and we went to the recording room.
"Tell me, tell me...
So tell me which way to go
Which way to go...
So tell me which way to go
Tell me, tell me...
So tell me which way to go..."
We finished the song in perfect harmony.
"That was great!"
I smiled back. "It is, our voices blend so well together!"
* * * * *
"Minnie!"
I flinched once again upon hearing his voice.
I felt his chin on my shoulder as I eat my meal in the cafeteria.
"Jinnie?"
"What are you eating?"
"I-um..."
"Can I join you?"
"Um, s-sure."
As he sat in front of me, he noticed my weird actions, especially since I wasn't looking straight into his eyes.
"Minnie?"
I didn't respond, I couldn't look him in the eyes. I was just focusing on my food.
"Minnie."
Before he could even open up anything, I quickly stood up from my chair. "I... I need to go."
He looked worried and concerned. "Is there something wrong?"
I took the courage to look him in the eyes and made him smile as much as I can. "I'm fine, I just need to do some advance studying for my other subjects."
With that, I turned my back and walked away, and headed toward the library.
As soon as I entered, I searched the shelves for some academic stuff I can learn in order to distract myself from everything. But I couldn't. Why? Because Miyoung was there, in the same section as I am.
"Oh... um... hi...?" I muttered.
She gave me a smile and extended her hand. "Seungmin, right?"
I nodded and shook her hand.
"Would you mind sitting with me?" She asked.
No.
"Oh, um... sure."
Stupid Seungmin why did you say yes?!
We sat down at the same table, I wasn't even able to get a book to read.
"So, Seungmin." She cleared her throat. "How long have you known Jin-ah?"
"Jin-ah?" It took me a while to process the name. "Oh, you mean Jinnie?"
"You call him Jinnie?"
"Uh, yeah. He likes it that way, after all."
"Oh." She stayed silent for a moment. "Well, I think Jin-ah is probably the most memorable nickname everyone has given to him." She said in a proud tone.
Is she trying to flex here now?
"Oh, um... okay."
She cleared her throat once again. "So, how did the two of you get together?"
Oh Miyoung, what the fuck is your objective?
"Oh, well... he keeps on nagging me ever since the first day I got here on this campus and eventually we developed feelings for each other," I answered with a smile as I recall the things Hyunjin and I went through.
"Have you known each other for a year already?"
Seriously, I'm here to study, not to be interviewed by my boyfriend's ex.
"Uh... no. We probably have known each other for only 2 or 3 months?"
"Oh. So you haven't been together that much." She said, muttering the last sentence.
"Is there something wrong?" I asked.
"Oh, nothing! I was just surprised that Jin-ah actually fell in love with someone in just a few amount of times. It just feels so unrealistic."
Okay, I AM: OFFENDED.
"I mean, no offense intended."
I gave her a smile. "It's fine, maybe you're just surprised because you haven't been with Jinnie for so many years since you left him."
She looked at me in disbelief.
"I mean, no offense intended." I shot back.
She looked so annoyed right now, but it made my day. It's not my fault, in the first place. She started this, not me. Hell, I even thought Miyoung was different from other toxic girls. Guess I was wrong.
She cleared her throat. "Well, I just hope the two of you will be able to stay together. Jin-ah is not really the type to stay long in a relationship. I don't intend to point out anything but I'm just reminding you, in case it really happens, I mean... you know? Break up? So that your heart will be ready."
"Really? But as far as I know this is the first romantic relationship Jinnie has entered to. I mean he was supposed to have one before but... you know... she left him."
Now she is pissed but she's trying to hide it.
She gave me a fake smile. "We'll never know what will happen in the future." She said and turned her back on me as she walk out of the library.
Oh Miyoung, were you trying to make me insecure with your 'memories' with Hyunjin?
Because if you did,
Well congratulations, you did succeed. Now I'm going to have more pain to hide again.
I sighed.
Fuck it.
* * * * *
<3