December 14th
I didn't know how I'd made it this far.
The cold weather had gotten to the point where I couldn't leave home to go to school, so I had to be homeschooled, but the group still came and visited me.
Sean, Jordan and Fletcher spent a lot of the weekends with me, teaching me how to game. But as much as I did that, I found that I was missing being able to draw freely. It was frustrating and upsetting, but I didn't argue about the fact that I couldn't grip things as well as I used to.
Rae and Emma also helped me keep the house smelling nice by baking all sorts of food and most days, the group would end up at mine and we'd be snacking whilst doing our work.
Isobel and Peter were happy to move into the house when Cass had other places to be. It was nice to spend some time with them without the interruption of school, although they were both alarmed at how much I was actually missing when everyone had come around for our study group and the table was covered in papers.
Inbetween everything, I skyped with Alex at least every other day if I could, or if I was tired, we facetimed and he'd stay on till I fell asleep.
But even with everyone trying to keep me busy, it didn't stop the days where I cried till there were no more tears. Those kind of days occured when I had chemo and the few days after it.
It killed Alex when he'd facetime me and he was greeted with red eyes. I could see it in his face and it sucked, but there was nothing that I could do.
Thanksgiving was quiet. I spent it with his parents and they really tried for me, and so I tried for them And I think they were somewhat glad that I didn't shut myself away. They introdued me to a few family members that had moved over to America and it had been fun. It just felt weird because the reason why I was there, wasn't with us.
But today, I was excited. Cass was back and she forced me to dress in the warmest clothes and in layers, so I did just that. Once I was ready, she shouted that they were landing in the next hour and needed to go so I was moving as fast as I could.
By the time we had arrived to the aiport, the guys were tweeting about landing back home and I found myself getting excited.
"C'mon Cass! I wanna be there when he walks out of arrivals." She laughed at my impatience as I tugged her through to arrivals.
I watched as people arrived and I watched as their flight number showed up and I bounced on the balls of my feet in excitement.
"And here we have is an excited Charlia." I turned to see that Cass was recording and I giggled before waving to the camera, returning my attention back to the arrivals entrance.
I saw Danny first and I found myself growing impatient. But I was finally rewarded as I saw the skunk hair followed by the brown hair and I wasted no time as I shot forward.
"Alex!" I crowed happily and he turned from chatting with Jack. He stopped, dropping his bags to the floor as I reached him and he picked me up into what felt like the tightest hug.
"I've missed you little bird."
"I've missed you too" I responded quietly and he simply held onto me for another moment before we pulled away and he picked up his luggage again, throwing his arm over my shoulders.
"So no deaths then?" He teased and I giggled.
"Well unless you count the death of my brain from school work and boredom." Jack snorted and laughed.
"You're still doing school work?"
"Jack, I don't want to turn out like you, so yes. I am doing school work even though this weather makes it difficult for me to actually go to school."
Alex laughed loudly as we reached Cassadee and Rian. Everyone else had disbanded off, and Jack was waiting for his sister to pick him up. He'd been saying something about her visiting, but I'd never really paid much attention.
"So you two have to not kill each other and we'll see you on Christmas, yes?" I nodded my head eagerly and Alex rolled his eyes before nodding.
"Also, I need to have a word with you Alex.." I watched them both walk a few meters away. Not too far to set me on edge, but far enough that I couldn't hear whatever they were discussing.
I jumped when a pair of arms wrapped around me before I giggled at Rian.
"It's been a long while Charlee."
"I know. I know that America is huge, but you guys have been touring for months. And I missed seeing someone around the house I guess."
"Well we're not going anywhere till January now. So you're all good kiddo. How're your new friends?"
"They're actually pretty rad. They all come over for a study group, even though Jordan and Sean complain so much that I want to shove them off their chairs."
"Who is in this group of yours?" Jack piped up and I grinned.
"Well there's Cali who introduced herself to me on my first day. Fletcher, Sean and Jordan. Rae, Emma and Jen. So now they've allowed me into their group, I'm settling quite easily actually."
"I'm glad. How's the treatment been?" I pulled a sour face and he chuckled as Cass and Alex walked back over. She went to Rian's side and Alex stood next to me.
"What's the sour face for?"
"Treatment." I grumbled and he laughed.
"Come on, do we have to wait all day to get home? I'm cold and hungry."
By the time that we'd gotten home, I was still buzzing from the excitement of having Alex back.
"C'mon, help me get this stuff in the wash and then how about I take a shower and we do some serious TV watching?"
"Only if we get to watch Criminal Minds."
"Agreed."
We settled onto the couch and I remembered something. I headed upstairs where I'd kept the gift for the past week and brought it down with me, settling back next to Alex. He gave me a weird look and I grinned.
"I nearly forgot something."
"Yeah?"
"Happy birthday." I handed him the gift and his lips pulled up into the biggest grin as he opened it up.
"I know it's not a lot but you've done a lot for me. I think you guys call them commitment rings? But I kinda changed it so they'd only fit our little fingers. And because you're my dad, so that'd be weird." I felt my neck grow warm.
I'd never been good explaining things, but being a part of a family was the closest thing I'd ever had to commitment. He was commited to looking after me and I was commited to being his daughter, so someone who would be there no matter what.
I looked at him again and he hadn't moved. He was just staring at the two rings before pulling me into the tightest hug ever.
"I know how much it means to you, to find something that's constant in your life. This means the world to me."
I could feel a wet patch against the skin on my neck and I half smiled as I simply hugged him tighter.
"So what, we're officially father and daughter with these things?" I laughed as we pulled away and I put his on and he did the same with mine.
"You don't have to wear it. I'm good with you just wearing it as-" His hand covered my mouth, cutting off my sentence. I scowled at him.
"I will wear it with pride because hey, I'm a real dad now." He moved his hand and I laughed at him.
"I guess we're a proper family. We're already going through the stressful period and I'm not even eighteen yet." He laughed and kissed the top of my head.
"I'm glad you think so. Now, Criminal Minds marathon or what?"
December 25th
Our plans for Christmas went down the drain when Alex burst into the bathroom whilst I was throwing up everything in my body.
It wasn't the first time this had happened, but we both hated the fact this happened.
I couldn't remember what the time was when I moved from my bed after feeling my stomach churn uncomfortably.
"If you didn''t want to leave the house, all you had to do was say." I couldn't help but give him a shaky laugh in response.
"Trust me, I was looking forward to your parents Christmas lunch."
"How about we stay here till about four and then head over for the rest of the evening?"
"Only if I can keep some toast down. And I can skype Jake too. I think he's with Rosie this year."
"How's he coping?"
"As best as he can with the whole ocean between us. But he's trying not to freak out around me, which I like." The conversation was cut short as I turned away from him, throwing up into the toilet, tears burning my eyes as my nose and the back of my throat stung.
By the time I had stopped throwing up, we had already skyped with Jake and Rosie. I'd managed to keep the bile down for the short conversation. But I'd promised them both that when I was feeling better and I had free time, I was going to skype them.
Instead of leaving the house, Alex phoned his mom up and asked them to come around instead, and to my surprise they did.
Isobel was first through the door.
"Where's my granddaughter? I've missed her." I couldn't help as I made my way over and let her wrap me in a hug whilst Alex greeted his dad.
They made a trip back to their car and brought back with them some wine and the Christmas dinner that we were meant to have at theirs and I felt bad for it, but Isobel simply silenced me with a simple "You're family and if you're not well, we'll come to you."
I didn't argue with her after that.
The gifts were crazy. Alex had bought me an iPad mini so I could use it for some of my doodles that I did, Isobel and Peter had given me a weeks pass to Disney World and I was in absolute shock. Alex laughed and snapped a photo of my reaction.
Even though it was just the four of us, it felt like how I'd always dreamed that Christmas would be.
And that thought alone made me wan to fight to get better, so I could feel like this more often.
I have no excuses apart from I'm lazy as shit. but this is my christmas present to you all. merry christmas you filthy animals
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peace, love n tiger stuff xo