Chapter 23
In the moment she jerked his hand away, he placed it on the bathtub rim, his eyes never leaving hers. They spoke to her and showed only understanding. He wasn't angry. Not even disappointed. All he cared was her happiness. Her health.
He felt how much his hand wanted to move back to her face. To touch her. Follow the contours of her ears, chin, nose and lips. Yes he wanted so badly to touch her again, but he knew also, Khushi didn't want him to touch her right now, otherwise she wouldn't hit his hand away.
Arnav took the showerhead and started to wash out the shampoo from her hair. It was hard but he tried to touch her as less as possible, because he wanted to respect her wish. While he looked down on her head and washed the rest of foam from her head, he also asked himself if she cried because he touched her. Then his eyes moved to her face to check if she still cried but accidently his eyes landed on her chest and he couldn't remove his eyes from her chest.
The foam from her head was washed away, but also all bubbles around her body. Her palms laid on her chest and hid her bosoms from his glance, but Khushi couldn't hide everything under her small hands. One small bulge showed him a clue what laid under her palms and he found himself wanting to touch the hidden place. He knew what impact Khushi had on him and his body. He was not able to forget her beautiful curves. Her small mole which invited him last time he held her in his arms to kiss it. The mole was his favorite place to kiss after Khushi's soft lips.
Arnav closed his eyes and turned away, ashamed because of pictures that appeared in his head. He didn't want to embarrass her with his glances. She should feel absolutely safe and not pressed by him.
Thinking about all this, Arnav started to play with her hair instead of rinsing the soap out. In the moment he realized what he did, Arnav decided to leave and give Khushi some privacy. Yeah, privacy was good, for her and especially for him and his sanity.
>>Leaving you now alone to do the rest. You can use the two big towels I have left next to the tub. Do you need anything else?<<
He waited few seconds but no answer came so he left the bathroom. He didn't want to think again on what his eyes saw. He didn't intended to see Khushi naked, but his eyes were too fast and now he have to live with the beautiful pictures of his unattainable wife.
Still, even he left the bathroom, even he leaned against the closed door, he couldn't let it go. It was impossible to move on and do something else. Arnav tried to act against his instinct to be close to Khushi. He tried hard. Breathing slowly in and out. Trying to move his thoughts to some other topic. Even scolding himself for his weakness and behavior was involved into his plan to move away from the door and leave Khushi alone.
Strange sound came from inside his chest alone with the thought from being away from Khushi. In his body, mind and soul one impossible task to do. Pictured of the past controlled his thoughts. Feeling of loneliness filled his heart. His soul screamed for the other half. Arnav realized, he couldn't stay outside anymore. He didn't even think one second longer, before he opened the door again and stormed inside. What if she left? What if he has to live without her again?
Khushi laid on the floor, sobbing, looking weak. He saw red. In his imagination he relived the moment in the factory where she worked and she run away from him. The moment when he thought that he have lost her again. She was wrapped in one big towel and must got caught in it and slipped on the wet flour. He took her in his arms and walked back to bed. She fought with her fists and hit on his chest.
Arnav ignored everything she did to him, her every movement which she made to free herself from his touch. He wanted to place her on the bed, but in the moment he looked down and saw again that she cried, his heart skipped the beat. Seeing big tears running down her face, he couldn't do anything else than to sat down on the bed, Khushi with him, on his lap.
She fought again and hit with her small fists on his bright, firm chest. Her sobs became louder. Even she hit as firm as she could on his chest, he didn't felt her punches as some pain. What brought him real pain were her big tears, which seemed not to stop. Every single tear that left her eyes, felt like someone pricked a big knife in his heart.
*
He held her fists with his firm grip to stop her.
>>Shhh<<, Arnav's lips touched her forehead.
>>Shhh. Look at me! Khushi, look at me!<<
Khushi's eyes were closed since he held her hands.
>>Open your eyes and look at me!<<
Khushi turned her head and bore her face in his chest. She did it more to refuse to look at him but this movement was absolutely unfavorable for her whole condition. Being so close to him was something she wanted to avoid at any cost because there was a high chance she could be tempted to forget what he did to her. Well, knowing and remembering his betrayal, Khushi didn't believe it was possible to forget but it could cause a weakness in her heart that she didn't want to experience. After all, she worked for years to keep her heart protected.
Sadly she felt it beating a little faster and she knew her worries were justified.
Being in his arms, Khushi could feel his heartbeat, scent his smell. Her tears wetted his shirt. And his lips, which he placed on her forehead, before she turned her head away, warmed her skin. She forgot how his touch felt then. It was something else to be kissed but something totally different to feel his hands on her body, just a towel between them. It awoke so many memories. Awoke so many dreams.
She didn't want to feel this all. To feel him, see him or even hear him. She didn't want these feelings and the pain that would always come with the weakness of loving someone.
*
Arnav didn't want her to feel uncomfortable but as long this tears aren't going to stop, he was not able to let her go. He took the warm blanket from bed and bundle her totally in it. He wanted Khushi to feel secure and well-protected from his touch and eyes. He wanted to keep her warm and healty. When he completed his work he spoke.
>>You are safe. Nothing and no one is going to hurt you from now on. This is my word and my promise to you.<<, he started to rock her, making sure he doesn't touch her skin direct. His hand placed over the blanked while he continued, >>You don't need to care anymore. Let me take your pain, your sorrows, everything and just leave happiness inside your heart. Leave everything bad for me. I will bear it for you. Just give it to me.<<
***
Lavanya and Akash entered the condo, with a lot of bags in their hands. Akash couldn't stop grinning and she knew why. In the moment he ordered food her chin dropped down. Lavanya was busy to find out what ASR's plan was, while Akash observed her every reaction.
She didn't have enough time to come behind the aim of her new boss, so she was forced to wait and see what will happen. They placed the bags in the kitchen and Lavanya wanted to go and tell that they were back, but Akash stopped her by holding her hand.
She looked down on herself and saw his hand on her wrist.
>>I don't think he would like to see us upstairs. He told me clearly, that he wanted me to call him when I come back with food.<<
Lavanya's cheeks were red. She didn't know if this happened because of Akash's touch or that her curiosity about her boss and his wife was too obvious to Akash.
Akash took his phone out and dialed Arnav's number while Lavanya tried hard to hide her red face.
***
Arnav's phone started to ring. He held Khushi still in his arms and actually didn't like the interruption. He didn't want to let her go, but she started to relax and drifted slowly into her sleep and he couldn't let this happen. She needed to take her meds and eat something.
He leaned down and kissed her forehead while his knuckles touched the teary traces on her face.
>>Don't sleep. Your food just arrived and you need to eat.<<, his voice was soft. She looked up, her eyes full of hate again. He knew the spell was broken and her memory back. She tried to stand up and this time he didn't held her back from leaving his arms even he wanted to keep her forever there.
She stood up, clutching the towel and blanket around her. Her eyes still fixed on him, while she observed his every movement. He stood up too.
>>Your food is here. Akash and Lavanya brought it. I am going down to bring it. Your clothes are in bathroom. You can also take something else from the wardrobe. Please be dressed when I come back, you need to eat and take your meds.<<, Arnav wanted to walk one step to her, but she walked back too, so he decided to leave the room to give her time for herself.
***
Arnav left the room and Khushi stood there for few seconds. She hated herself for her weak moment. She hated that she allowed him to touch her again. That he dried her tears and gave her comfort. Tell her all these nice things. Liar! He is just a liar. Like everyone who was ever part of her life. They are all liars.
She walked back to the bathroom and wanted to take the clothes he placed on the chair, but then she saw her own, old clothes and decided to put them on again. They were old and dirty, but they were hers. Paid by her own money.
***
Arnav walked downstairs to take the food that was brought by his two new employees.
>>Thank you.<<, his eyes were fixed on the food and he hurried himself to bring it up in their bedroom, so that Khushi finally eat and take her meds. He didn't remark that Akash and Lavanya followed him, till he reached the door. He didn't want them to enter the room and let Khushi feel uncomfortable, because she probably wasn't done with dressing.
>>You can leave the bags here. I do the rest.<<
Akash and Lavanya exchange their glance, >>But we can help you.<<
>>No, it's not needful. I need one plate and few spoons. It would be nice if you could bring me these, but the rest is my problem.<<
Both Akash and Lavanya turned around and walked downstairs while he took the bags and entered the bedroom.
*
Arnav didn't look after Khushi because he still wanted to give her privacy as long he took care of the food. He ordered so much food that he needed to walk few times to bring everything inside. Lavanya appeared in the door and gave him what he asked for. Her eyes observed the room behind him, just before she turned around and left the hall, respecting his wish for privacy.
As soon as they were alone, Arnav turned around and started to prepare food on the plate. One soft sound interrupted his movements and he turned to its direction to see what it was. Khushi stood on the other side of the room and looked shocked at the bags. He remarked that she wore her old clothes, but decided not to discuss her decision to wear them with her. It was more important to him that she finally ate and became stronger.
He saw how she walked to the bed and lay down. Her face and eyes again directed on the wall and the message was clear. She doesn't want to eat and he knew she will fight with her last power against him.
>>Khushi, turn around.<<, he looked down at the plate and walked to bed. No matter what, he knew he need to do everything to bring her to eat and the first step was to let his plan work. He sat down and forced her to look at him, holding her chin with his fingers.
>>Look at me and listen carefully.<< he saw her arm coming and this time he was able to react proper. She couldn't reach the plate in his hand and he was happy about it.
>>You should really listen.<<, he took one deep breath. So much depend from his next words, but Khushi needed to understand every single one, so that they would be able to move on from this nightmare.
>>I ordered fifty one portions food. One is for you and the rest for children who live on the street. Every plate you drop down, mean, that some of these children that have to live on the streets, are going to stay hungry. If you drop this plate down, Khushi, I am going to take next portion. That means, one portion less for the children and one of them will be hungry for the rest of the day. And we repeat this till there is no food left, because I am not giving anything away before you don't eat.<<
Khushi widen her eyes after Arnav finished his speech. She couldn't hide her surprise even she wanted. She knew she was in big dilemma, because if she doesn't eat and push the plate from his hands, one child is going to be hungry today and this is something she doesn't want to happen.
*
Arnav gave Khushi enough time to think about his words and didn't hurry her to make her decision. She should decide what she wanted to do next, even he knew he will not give up.
The clock on the wall ticked, while their eyes locked like both wanted to see deep inside the other soul. Khushi fought her biggest fight between being hard or giving all these kids food and didn't know how to win against Arnav. And somehow she was tiered. Tiered to fight against Arnav and the way he was forcing himself into her life. She needed time to think how to escape and leave this place and few minutes later, she decided to do what he wanted, but only for today.
Her lips opened slowly and she closed her eyes to not to see the victory in his face.
She took the first bite and hear him speaking with soft voice.
>>Thank you, Khushi.<<
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