Who you used to be - [p.jm]

By Yoonginyaan

31.4K 1.4K 924

"I'll do anything it takes to bring him back to his old self again. I know he's still in there, even if he's... More

PROLOGUE
1. "I missed you so much"
2. "Crying won't help"
3. "I'm Park Jimin"
4. "Welcome to the family"
5. "Say what you have to say and die"
6. "I want to meet him"
7. "I was too weak"
8. "Do you really still love me?"
9. "I don't think we can get him back"
10. "Fire"
11. "Jagiya"
12. "You killed them"
13. "I don't want to leave him"
14. "I'll save you"
15. Begin
16. "I hate you."
17. "Leave Jimin behind?"
18. "I love you"
19. Stigma
20. "I want you" [r15]
22. "We have to kill him"
23. "Teamwork makes the dream work"
24. "Our contract is over"
25. "I can't do this anymore"
26. "They're running"
27. "Promise you won't ever leave me"
28. "I'm sorry"
29. "I hope they make it"
30. "We'll figure this out together"
31. Lie
32. "Let your mistakes remain in the past"
33 - "It's not the right time yet."
34 - "Hyung"
35 - "Because I love them"
36. - "Why him of all people?"
37. - "You left me with no other choice."
38. - "I want him dead"
39. - "How can I believe you?"
40. - "We're leaving"
41. "Kill me"
42. Reflection
43. "We'll avenge him"
44. "Rest well"
45. "This feels like a family reunion"
47. "He'll catch up"
48. "You chose your fate, boy."
49. "Such cold eyes"

46. "You'll just have to trust me"

199 8 5
By Yoonginyaan

You woke up from the best sleep you had had in a while, probably because you had shared the bed with Jimin again. As soon as your eyes got used to the sunlight, you only then noticed him, as he was sitting on the edge of the bed.

He noticed you were awake, quickly packing whatever he had been holding in his hand into his backpack and climbed back onto the bed to kiss you.

"Good morning", he smiled.

"Morning", you greeted back.

"Are you ready for today?", he questioned, the tone of his voice becoming a little more serious than before.

Right, 3 days had passed far too quickly and it was finally time for the mission H.A.M.
Jimin tucked a strand of loose hair behind your ear and chuckled at your, probably swollen, face.

"I think so", you replied, feeling the sudden nervousness spreading through your body like an uncontrollable shiver.

You had spent the last three days with Jimin, walking through the countryside, talking, making love... but you both hadn't dared to speak about the mission.
At least, not until now.

"Jimin", you muttered.

"Hmm?"

You pulled back a bit to face him completely.
"We're not dying on this mission."

It wasn't a question, neither was it a statement. Maybe it was something inbetween, since you weren't sure yourself. You probably just wanted to hear some words of comfort at this point.

Jimin's lip angles twitched and he hugged you tightly.
"We're not dying."

"How can you be sure?"

"I can't be sure", he admitted.
"But something makes me think that we both survived far too often in the past to die here."

Jimin sat upright and held up his right hand, where a slight scarring could be seen, at the place the bullet had injured his hand. Then, he raised his shirt to show the place he had been shot by Taehyung, surrounded by many smaller wounds from the missions he had survived in the past.

"I think I didn't survive all this for nothing", he explained and rolled his shirt back down.
"We'll definitely make it."

The look in his eyes was pure determination, but you couldn't figure out whether he was scared at all or not. He looked like he wanted to say more, but it was as if the words couldn't escape his lips. As if he was slightly mad at himself, he turned away to get up.

"We should get ready. The team members will arrive soon for the preparations."

~

After a few revisions of the plan, the whole group was ready and in full gear. All of Bangtan stuck out with the usual bulletproof vests, which were harder to carry than regular clothing, but it was simply safer.
Taehyung and you weren't wearing them, because you had a different objective than the rest, which required silent and swift movement.

You helped with loading the cars with weapons and gear and were constantly walking back and forth between the storage and the van.

The box you had just picked up was the medical equipment and you gulped upon realizing that people could - and very likely would - die on this mission. Your hands trembled and you placed it down for a moment.

Jimin appeared around the corner, seeming to have found what he was looking for when he saw you. He pulled you to the back of the storage room, making sure you were well hidden behind the crates.

"Promise me you'll listen to everything I say during the mission", Jimin whispered sternly.
"If I give you an order, I want you to carry it out, without question."

What was that supposed to mean? He wasn't going to do anything reckless, was he?

"Jimin, if you tell me to leave you behind, you know I won't do that", you muttered.

His lips pursed, yet turned into a little smile. "I know. But, don't do anything reckless either. I'm also your team leader in this mission, so you I can't be your boyfriend at the same time."

"I'm not expecting any favors from you", I laughed in disbelief. "I'm not that unprofessional."

"That's why I'm telling you this now, before I become your team leader", he explains. "If something in there goes wrong, you run. For all we know, Hongbin could be expecting us."

He grabbed both your hands and pushed you further into the darkness, behind the boxes containing weapons and gear. Someone came in to take another crate and disappeared again. It was quiet again.

His voice was now even more silent than before.
"I want to get this right, for Namjoon..."

You placed a hand on his cheek.
"I do too. I promise I'll listen to you."

"If we get separated throughout the mission, don't worry. We have the earpieces and we studied the plan of the mansion... we'll manage."

Jimin scanned your nervous expression and immediately sensed your insecurity after his last statement. However, he couldn't guarantee that a situation wouldn't occur in which the two of you got separated.

Instead, he closed the distance between you and kissed you lustfully. His breath was quick, maybe excited for the mission, maybe scared, you didn't know. But you responded to the kiss, with just as much passion, lust, maybe fear. The crates behind you shifted a little as you were pushed against them, making a sound as the weapons in there moved. His hands touched your face, your neck, your hair, trapping you in the corner with him, as if just the two of you were isolated from the rest of the world.

Jimin pulled away slowly, still breathing heavily. At that point you couldn't see a sign of insecurity in his face anymore.
"That's for good luck", he smiled.

Your face was a little flushed when the both of you came back outside, where the others were loading the last few boxes into the vans.

Taehyung was fighting with Jungkook, trying to convince him to stay behind, but the younger boy argued back fiercly. The older was left with a blank, disappointed expression and he just shook his head while walking away and joining the rest of the group. Jimin patted your shoulder and the two of you walked towards everyone as well.

"Good luck everyone", Jimin spoke. "Revise the plan and your positions in your groups on your way there. Make sure you know exactly where you have to be."

Everyone nodded. Even though you had all done this a countless times, this mission was somehow different. There was a lot more at stake. It was a new feeling for everyone. It felt like you all had something important to lose.

"It's time", Jin noted, looking at the watch. "Let's go."

You and Jimin got into a van with Taehyung. The three of you had a different mission and had only little gear on, compared to the others. The ideal case would be that the three of you wouldn't get into any combat at all.

All the vans drove off in different directions to avoid suspicion and the three of you were now alone. Jimin was driving and you and Taehyung sat in the back with the rifles.

"Jungkook didn't want to give up, huh?", you asked.

Taehyung didn't even look at you and just hummed in response. He was still angry and probably didn't want to talk about it. You understood, but still wanted to make him feel better.
"He'll be fine. Jin will watch out for him."

"He still shouldn't be here", Taehyung muttered. "He's been through enough already."

"We all have", you remarked. "It's his choice."

A sigh escaped the boy's lips. "Jungkook is still so young and he already missed out on a year in his life. This job isn't good, it's not healthy for him... be doesn't know what his life could be like instead."

"You want him to quit alltogether?", you questioned.

Taehyung nodded. "To be honest, I wish we all could."

You did too. Maybe it would be possible after this mission was finally over. Maybe then you could all live in peace. The rest of the drive passed silently and maybe it was better that way.

"We're here", Jimin called out from the front after a while as he parked the van between several trees. It was completely dark outside and you wondered how Jimin had managed to drive without the lights. You couldn't risk getting spotted.
You couldn't just park right in front and storm in there with weapons, so you parked a bit farther off and would have to walk to the mansion.

The others were already waiting at the meeting point in the woods, since you had had the longest drive out of everyone else.

You couldn't keep in your nervosity, neither could anyone else. Everyone knew how dangerous Hongbin was, at least by the reputation he had in your company and the fact that he had killed Namjoon. You were going to get into so much trouble for getting into this without reporting to your boss, but no one seemed to care anymore.

"We'll keep in touch over the earpieces, using the codes we discussed", Jimin reminded.

Group A consisted of you, Jimin and Taehyung, which was going to sneak through the mansion and assassinate Hongbin. Group S, the snipers and group F in the field.

It was already dark outside, perfect to go undercover and sneak into the place. Surely, Hongbin must have been expecting you, since there was security everywhere. The only hope was that he didn't have some dirty trick up his sleeve like last time, when half the place had been blown up and you had barely gotten out.

You spread out as discussed and let the snipers silently shoot the first few guards, in order for the field team to have time and sneak up on the rest. It all went down in perfect silence, as expected.
Reaching the house quickly, the assassination team, including you, began climbing up to the roof, while the others entered the mansion from different sides.

You would start searching the house from the top third floor, by cutting a hole in the glass and letting yourself down on a rope.

You hoped everyone would get out of there alive, but you still had a long way ahead of you before that happened.

Group A began climbing up the walls with special tools which cracked through the bricks with ease. While you climbed, you kept hearing the others give updates through the earpieces. They had already broken through the door and had taken out several guards silently.

"We'll take the chance and sneak in as far as we can until they notice we're here", Jimin revised the plan while taking out rope and some tools from his backpack.

"Wouldn't it be better to wait until they notice the other team, which would draw attention to them and away from us?", Taehyung dared to ask.

Jimin's jaw visibly clenched, but he evened it out with a smile.
"No, because they aren't supposed to be acting as bait. They're here to take out as many guards as possible and cover us."

"That's basically bait", Taehyung argued.

You saw how annoyed Jimin was and decided to step in.
"The plan is official and we can't mess with it now. Just do everything as revised."

Taehyung nodded.
"Sorry."

Jimin had set up everything in the meantime and cut open a hole in the glass roof for you to go through.
"Who wants to go down first?"

It was obvious that Jimin had to go last, because only he knew how to use the tool to let everyone down and then get down by himself. You didn't mind going first, so you stepped forward. This also meant that if guards caught you, you wouldn't have any cover.

Jimin began wrapping the rope around you securely, not doubting you when it came to going first. It surprised you, as he normally would have complained and said it was too dangerous. But maybe he was holding back, since he didn't want to give you "special treatment". You were an equally skilled member of this group as well, after all.

Jimin slowly let you down through the roof opening until your feet reached the ground. You quickly took off the harness and looked for a place to hide until Taehyung and Jimin got down as well.
The hallway you were in was brightly lit, but no guards were there. There were several renaissance paintings on the walls in golden frames and not much else. Jimin probably knew this place and had chosen this spot because it wasn't well guarded.

While you waited, Taehyung tied the rope around himself on the roof, while Jimin set things up. The younger was slightly uncomfortable with being alone with Jimin. He could only guess Jimin still hated him, so he began doubting whether he really wanted to work with him in this team.
What if he let him fall on purpose? Would he do that?

"Are you going down or what?", Jimin asked impatiently.
"Don't tell me you're still afraid of heights. We just climbed up a roof and you had no problem with that."

"No, no, I'm fine", Taehyung muttered and sat down to let his legs through the opening. He had gotten over his fear a while ago, but Jimin couldn't have known that.

"You can trust me", Jimin told him before adjusting the rope in order to let the boy down.

Taehyung was carefully let down as well until he reached the ground. You helped him get rid of the rope quicker so Jimin had time as well.

"Go through this hallway and hide around the statues there. I'll be right behind you", Jimin told you through the earpiece.
Before you could even complain, you recalled his words pleading you to listen to him. This was a plan that could only work of you trusted the whole team, so you had to trust and do what Jimin said or did.

"Let's go", you whispered and rushed through the hall with Taehyung right behind you. The both of you held your guns next to your body as you sneaked closely to the walls.

You wordlessly gave each other signs that no one was around the corner as you passed on. The both of you worked together perfectly, even though you hadn't done so in quite a long time. The hallway with statues was there, as Jimin had said, so you went to hide in the shadows behind them. Taehyung and you hid across the room, blending in with the shadows of the statues.

While you waited for Jimin, you listened in on the updates of the other teams through the earpieces. There were two floors that separated you from them. You were always impressed to hear how silently and calmly the guys took care of enemies and never lost count. The last mission you had been on was the one where you had been set up inside that warehouse, where you had found Jimin's note for you. It was exciting to be on one again, even if it was probably the most dangerous one yet.

You flinched slightly when the lights suddenly turned off and swallowed the whole hallway in pitch darkness. Why that had happened was beyond you, as it hadn't been part of the plan.

"This is Y/N. The lights in position A2 just went off. Does someone know what's going on?", you whispered into the earpiece.

"Same with position F5", someone replied.

"Jin here. The power went off in the whole house."

Many voices spoke at the same time, wondering what was happening until Jimin interrupted.

"It isn't part of the plan so it must have been them. Just adapt to it and continue the operation as planned", he ordered. "You all brought the night lenses, didn't you?"

Spoken like a true leader. All you could do now was remain hidden until Jimin came and told you where you would go next. You couldn't hear any actual gunshots being fired yet, but the floor was slightly trembling beneath your feet. Or was that you shaking?

"Hey."

You instantly pointed your gun at Jimin, who was innocently holding your shoulder.

"Quiet!", he hissed and made you lower your weapon. The short moment of silence allowed you to hear the first gunshot from downstairs.

You wondered how Jimin was so calm about the whole situation, considering all the things going wrong at the moment. Taehyung crawled over to the both of you to listen to the plan.

"We don't have much of a choice here but to split up, given the current circumstances", Jimin muttered.
"We're all skilled enough to manage by ourselves."

"But the plan was that we stick together, we're only at a higher risk if we split up", Taehyung rightfully argued.

"True, but they know we're here already. A change of plan is necessary at this point", Jimin explained.
You barely saw him in the dark, but noticed that his voice was cramped, stressed and trying to proceed quickly.
"Hongbin is going to use the darkness to get away more easily, so we have to find him as quickly as possible."

"Where do we go?", you interrupted, in order to get this over with quicker.

"We're raiding this floor. Although Hongbin is probably in hiding now, we'll all search one of the three wings and contact each other on any clues we might find", Jimin stated.
"Take these night lenses, they'll help you see better in the dark."

You took the pair and put them over your eyes, instantly seeing both their faces in night vision. The glasses looked kind of funny. It impressed you that Jimin had even thought of a situation like this and brought the lenses.

The sound of footsteps made your head turn to the left exit of the hall, where you could make out a group of people rushing through. You couldn't see Hongbin among them, but they were carrying weapons. Holding your breath, the three of you waited and hoped not to be discovered behind the statues. But the guards were too disctracted to even spare a look in your direction.

"Shit, even the third floor is already alarmed", Jimin mumbled. "This is bad."

You should have already been searching, but the power cut had slowed you down, as Hongbin had probably planned.
"Let's move out", Jimin said.

Taehyung nodded and ran off to the side Jimin had chosen for him, leaving the two of you behind already, almost as if he was eager to find Hongbin first. You were about to leave before your upper arm was grabbed tightly. You gave Jimin a questioning look through the lenses he had given you, before he bent down to connect your lips harshly. He didn't waste much time, because the mission was important, but he gave you a look afterwards and said: "Stay safe, please."

"You too", was the last you managed to tell him before you ran off in different directions. You always felt so empty without Jimin around, but you were aware of the circumstances you were in and that you didn't have a right to choose now. This was more than an assassination mission. It was war.

You stayed close to the walls, dashed around every single corner. It was almost scary how silent it was, considering that a mass shooting was now going on downstairs. Most of the guards had probably left as backup for the ones down there.

With a gun held in both hands, you roamed around corners, taking the path Jimin had explained to you. Searching the whole left wing of this floor sounded easy, but this place was a maze. There were too many hallways and too many corners, which was a potential danger, yet no doors.

The earpiece was silent as well, giving you an uneasy feeling sometimes, but you guessed the others were too busy fighting to speak right now. You only hoped everyone was alright, especially Bangtan. You didn't want to lose anyone else from your family.

Every sound, even your own footsteps sounded like they were far too loud. It scared you, making you feel like you could be found any second. The picture frames on the walls all looked the same, giving you the feeling of walking in circles the whole time, which wasn't possible, as you had studied the map before this mission.

Your breath was getting quicker, but you tried to hold it back. Now wasn't the time to be getting a panick attack, even if you were imagining shadows approaching you from behind all the time. It felt as if someone was watching you.

"Any updates, team A?", Jimin asked per earpiece. He had switched to a seperate channel so that only your team could listen.

"I saw some guards heading downstairs, nothing else here", Taehyung updated.

"Nothing here either", you sighed.

"Okay, let's regroup. We'll have to-"

The signal was cut off and an overly loud beeping noise almost damaged your hearing. In irritation, you took off the earpiece and checked it. You couldn't stop the loud beeping, so you decided to turn it off.

This was really bad. If you didn't stay in touch with the others, you were done for. Especially by yourself. The best move was to go back to the point where you all had split up in the first place.
Hopefully nothing would happen on the way there.

xxxxx

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