I did it again. I fucking did it again. She was saying so many things to purposefully get to me and my anger was ready to hit the fucking roof. Whenever I lost my temper like that, had it been a man standing in front of me he would have been unconscious within seconds. Maybe even with a woman, I may have grabbed her and threatened her viscously; but with Bethan it was a whole other story. When she drove me to the point of anger where I felt like I was going insane, it made me want her more and I projected my anger by grabbing her and kissing her and anything else I could do to her to help me vent. Once again, I had done just that.
I hadn't waited for her to kiss me back. I had kept my mouth firmly planted on hers and before she could pull away I'd spun her around and pinned her front to the wall, sliding my hands around to her breasts and squeezing them tightly as I kissed her neck. I could hear in the way that she was panting that she wanted it and she certainly did not push me away. Instead, I pulled away. I'd realised that if I continued and she decided at some point that she didn't want it again and rejected me, it would be one hit too many for me. I stepped away and before she could turn to question it, I fled from the bathroom.
Now, I was sat on the small leather sofa in the back of my tattoo shop, the only light coming from a lamp and it was silent outside as all businesses were closed. I'd jumped a cab to head home so I couldn't be near her anymore. Instead of letting him take me home, I made him bring me to the shop, knowing if anyone decided to look for me, meaning Tori, they'd go to my apartment and I didn't want to see anyone.
I wished I'd never let Tori convince me to join her. I hated clubs and I hated partying and I'd only went there because I felt like I owed her for all of her kindness lately. Had I known Bethan was going to be there, I would have certainly stayed home but how was I supposed to know she would turn up at a club in Brooklyn that she wasn't even old enough to be in? I still wondered how the hell she got in the place.
I was sitting alone, left with my thoughts, wondering if she had decided to go back to that guy who she gave her number to. When I'd grabbed my drink at the bar and turned to see her talking to him, I'd tried to walk back to my table but settled for watching them instead. I knew it was a risk of torturing myself but I had faith that she wouldn't move onto someone so soon and when I watched her type her number into his phone, all I felt was disappointment.
The guy was huge and covered in ink from what I could see from behind and in the darkness of the club; clearly she had begun to develop a type. I believed her when she told me she just did it to get rid of him. I had sensed her hesitation before she took his phone and I could see it from her body language that she was uncomfortable but it still got me mad that she hadn't told him to fuck off.
The worst part about the whole thing was that I had gotten her all worked up and turned her on by kissing and touching her and then left her there, free to go find her mysterious guy, all fired up and in the mood for some fun after being teased and abandoned by me. The very thought made me feel sick and I just wanted to go right back there and drag her out, bringing her home where I could be the only one to fuck her. I could have had her right there in the bathroom but the risk was too high. She'd made it clear she didn't want to be with me anymore and keeping her hostage in the bathroom and trying to practically force myself onto her wasn't going to help anything.
The tightness in my pants hadn't settled. I was still worked up from touching her and I was desperate to have her, the inability to do so truly killing me. In a way, I wanted to tease her. I wanted her to be calling me up right now begging me to let her come back to the apartment so she could let me have my way with her. I had my phone ready on the arm of the sofa just in case she did, but no such call came.
I lounged there, lost in thought and frustrated from earlier, feeling like I was ready to lose my mind over all of this shit that was going on with her. Why couldn't things still be simple like at the start? Why did we have to go down this road?
Just as I was about to get to my feet and turn out the lamp, deciding to sleep over here for the night, I heard a sound out front. I didn't have to think twice, I knew exactly who it was. I leaned back to my original position in my chair, nibbling on my knuckle as I watched the archway that connected the back room I was in with the front of the shop and I waited. I waited as I heard the door close softly and the sound of heels clicking on the floor. I remained patient until the very moment she appeared in the doorway, her eyes narrowed and her lips pouted as she stared at me, staring back at her.
I tilted my head to the side as I studied her, the look in her eyes telling me she was hungry and I almost smirked at her giveaway. She thought she was playing it cool but I knew she wanted it. I had assumed she'd call, but this was even better. If I couldn't have her as my girlfriend then just having her this way was good enough for me, even if it was just a one time thing.
'Why did you leave?' she asked, pacing slowly into the room and stopping by the sofa.
'Before things got a little too out of hand,' I told her, casually, my eyes moving upwards to stay focused on hers as she got closer.
'You can't finish what you started?' she asked.
I let out a gentle breath of laughter and moved slowly to my feet, my body only an inch from hers as I glared right down at her. 'You didn't let me finish the last time, so I figured I wouldn't waste my time tonight.'
'Fair,' she said with a gentle nod. 'Well then if that's the case, maybe I'll just go.'
'Fine by me,' I said, our eyes still locked on each other's.
'Fine,' she said, giving me a smile with smouldered eyes that she knew would make my dick harden even more. She knew what she was doing and I knew just what she wanted. The question was, who would cave first?
She turned away from me, slowly walking back towards the archway and I remained silent, watching her leave, knowing she was playing hard to get so I would make the move but I wondered how she planned to accomplish this.
'I'll just go back to the club,' she sighed as she walked, pausing at the archway. 'Maybe I'll just find that guy again.'
Not what I had expected to hear and not something I was going to let happen. I didn't care if it meant I lost our subtle game, she was not going anywhere near that club and I really would hold her hostage this time.
As she tried to walk away once more, I stormed forward and grabbed her arm, spinning her around so that we were nose to nose and she grinned up at me.
'Don't fucking mention him to me ever again,' I said through gritted teeth.
'You don't like it?' she asked, trying to bug me even more.
'No, I fucking don't,' I admitted. 'You know it and throwing it in my face to get to me is fucking out of line.'
'You're right,' she sighed. 'It's not fair. So, I'll leave the club for tonight, okay? I'll just head right home.'
'No, you won't,' I told her, moving both my hands around her waist and lowering them to cup her ass, lifting her off her feet and bringing my mouth to hers as I stumbled backwards towards the sofa and fell to my ass.
She automatically kissed me back, lacing her hands around my neck and we made out aggressively, our tongues battling against each other passionately, making it clear how long it had been since we'd truly been together.
As I fell to the sofa, she manoeuvred her legs to each side to straddle me and instantly began working the buttons on my shirt before sliding it over my shoulders and I worked it off. I flipped us over so I was on my feet and she was on her back on the sofa, pulling off her heels and unbuttoning her jeans, sliding them off her legs, leaving her only in a black leotard. I studied her in it for a moment before pulling on the fabric so the buttons popped and she sat up so I could pull it over her head. Looking down at her sitting below me in only her panties was mind blowing and I kept my hungry eyes locked on her smirking face as I undone the button on my jeans and pulled out my dick.
She didn't waste any time before taking it in her hand and I hissed as I laid my head back, feeling the warmth of her mouth come into contact with the end.
'Oh shit,' I whispered, feeling her move her tongue up and down the shaft, teasing me before she fully opened her mouth around it and took me in. 'Fuckkkkk.'
I panted softly and laced my fingers into her hair as I felt her mouth move up and down my shaft slowly as she worked her tongue around the end and moved her hand in sync. I looked down to watch her perfect plump lips enclosed around me and the sight drove me crazy. It was enough to make me explode in her mouth right that second but I needed to make the most of this time with her.
I stepped back, making my dick fall out of her mouth and dropped my jeans and boxers, kicking them off as she leaned back and smiled up at me. I reached down and pulled at her panties, yanking them off her legs and throwing them to the floor before moving quickly to lay on top of her, resting myself between her thighs.
Bringing my mouth to her neck, I took the skin between my teeth and bit down hard, making her groan and I sucked at it, wanting to leave something there to remind her of me the next day.
'Cal,' she moaned. 'I need to feel you inside of me now.'
I didn't waste time teasing her before I raised my hips to find her entrance and guided myself in slowly. The feeling was euphoric. I had missed her being wrapped around me so tightly and the sounds that came from her when she felt me fill her were like music to my ears.
'Oh my god,' she moaned, trying to roll her hips from underneath me.
I thrusted my hips, bringing myself out and back into her again, moving my pace to a quick one and biting all over her neck and shoulders as I fucked her.
'Oh my god, yesss,' she moaned, gripping onto me tightly and the feeling of her nails clawing at my skin was just surreal.
I fucked her a little longer, taking in every part of her that I could; her smell, the feeling of her creamy skin, the sound of her crying out for me.
Lifting myself up from her, I pulled out and flipped her over and she quickly moved to her hands and knees on the sofa, arching her back right down so that I could appreciate the perfect curve of it from behind. I slid back inside of her and gripped her hips, pulling out and thrusting back in as hard as I could wanting her to feel every inch of me.
'Shit, Cal,' she whimpered. 'Fuck me harder. So hard that I still feel your cock inside me tomorrow.'
Boy, had I missed drunk Bethan and her filthy mouth.
'You are never going to throw another guy in my face again,' I muttered to her, squeezing the skin of her thighs tightly as I slowed down my pace.
'I won't, I won't,' she whined. 'Please don't stop.'
I raised my hand and brought it back down, slapping her hard on her right ass cheek, making her moan louder before I resumed fucking her as hard as I could.
'Don't you ever fucking let another guy touch you like this,' I growled as I rode her from behind, slapping her ass again a little harder.
'I promise,' she groaned, beginning to rub her fingertips up and down her centre as I continued to fuck her.
I jumped to my feet and pulled her up, spinning her around and she jumped onto me, wrapping her arms around my neck and her legs around my waist as she kissed me hard. I held onto her tightly and moved across the room, stumbling forward until her back hit the wall and she gasped. I hooked my arms under her knees and pulled her legs apart as wide as I could, lowering her down until she slid onto my dick again and I pinned her against the wall, pumping in and out of her.
Her head rolled back, leaning against the wall as she moaned repeatedly, clutching onto my shoulders as I slid my dick in and out of her whilst I kissed all over her neck.
'I'm going to fucking cum,' she panted. 'Please don't stop!'
'Do it, baby,' I grunted. 'Let me feel you cum.'
'Oh, shit, Cal!' she cried out loud, her back arching as she pushed out her chest and I fucked her even faster as she screamed and rode out her orgasm, before I could no longer hold myself back and exploded inside of her.
'Fuck!' she screamed, before flopping and resting her head on my shoulder.
The two of us panted and tried to catch our breath as we remained pressed together, clutching onto each other tightly. I didn't want to be the one to break away from her but I knew I had to let her go at some point.
I pulled her away from the wall, carrying her over to the sofa and lowered her down to a seating position before turning my back to her and beginning to get myself redressed. No words were spoken as we both put on our clothes and eventually, I forced myself to turn back around, seeing her standing there, fully dressed and studying me carefully.
'Are you planning on sleeping here tonight?' she asked me.
'Probably,' I replied with a shrug. 'Why do you ask?'
'You should go home to the apartment,' she said.
'You should go home to the apartment,' I said, regretting it as soon as I said it.
'I'm paying for my dorm now,' she said, biting her lip nervously as always.
'Wow,' I replied, feeling stunned that she had already made such a serious move. She really didn't want to come back home. 'Well then, that says it all really doesn't it.'
I slowly walked away from her, heading to the desk where my sketches were sitting on the table and sat down, waiting for her to leave as I no longer wanted to be around her. She could fuck off back to her little dorm and get on with her perfect college life. Even if she did, I knew she'd always come back to me whenever she was wasted for a fuck.
'Don't be mad,' she sighed. 'I just couldn't keep staying there secretly. I had to start paying.'
'You don't need to explain yourself,' I said, apathetically, keeping my back firmly turned to her.
'You're really going to act like this?' she asked. 'Fine. Sulk all you like.'
I heard her heels on the floor as she turned to leave and I felt angry that she'd gotten the last word and pissed me off.
'I'll be here!' I called, hearing her heels pause on the wood flooring.
'What?' she asked, angrily.
'I'll be here,' I repeated, turning my head to glance at her. 'The next time you're drunk and horny and need someone to fuck you the way you like it, I'll be here. Feel free to call me first though.'
'You fucking asshole,' she said, her voice shaky and her eyes instantly watering. I knew I had hurt her bad with that one and I felt guilty right away. 'How fucking dare you? You dragged me into the bathroom and you came onto me!'
'You came all the way here after I stopped things before they got serious,' I reminded her, spinning my chair around to face her. 'You came here to get fucked, don't deny it.'
'How can you talk to me like that?' she asked, shaking her head as she tried to keep her voice steady. 'Like I'm some sort of fucking cheap slut!'
'Well, if you're going to start dressing like one and acting like one then I'll treat you like one!' I exclaimed, wondering why the fuck I kept coming out with these disgusting things that I instantly hated myself for.
'Oh my god,' she whispered. 'Who the fuck are you?'
'It's the truth, isn't it?' I said, calmly. 'All the makeup you wear now, the tight pants and skimpy tops. Chatting to guys in clubs that you're not even old enough to fucking be in.'
'Then why the hell did you just have sex with me?' she asked. 'If I'm such a fucking skank and disgust you so much, why did you just have sex with me?'
Because I love you so much and I needed you.
'Because you came running to me,' I said, with a shrug. 'You offered yourself on a plate.'
'I fucking hate you,' she said, tears streaming down her face. 'If I needed something to help me stop loving you so I could forget all about you, that was it. So thank you for helping me finally find the perfect way to get over you.'
She turned on her heel and disappeared through the archway, her last words echoing in my head as I realised what I had just done.
'No, Bethan, wait!' I cried, running out front and grabbing her arm as she tried to reach the door.
'Get off me!' she screamed.
'Please, I didn't mean that,' I said, trying to turn her around by gripping her shoulders.
'Get the fuck off me!' she screamed again, loudly, thrashing her body side to side and clawing out at me, catching my face several times but I took the pain to try and restrain her. She was losing it. She was screaming and lashing out, trying to hit me and kick me and push me away. 'Just get the fuck away from me!'
'Bethan, stop!' I shouted at the top of my lungs, bringing her to a silence and I quickly pulled her little body to me and wrapped her in a tight hug as she sobbed into my chest. 'I'm sorry, Bethan. I'm so fucking sorry.'
I was near tears myself and wanted to smash my face off a wall to punish myself for what I just said to her. I loved her more than anything in the world and I had nothing but respect for her. I didn't think she was a slut or a skank or anything like that. She didn't look tacky or trashy, she looked fucking amazing and her coming here to fuck me didn't make her a slut, it just showed that she still loved me as I did her.
'I fucking hate feeling this way,' she sobbed, shaking in my arms.
'I didn't mean any of that,' I told her. 'I don't think any of those things. It was just the anger talking, please forgive me.'
'I just want this horrible feeling to go away,' she cried out loud.
'I love you so much, Bethan,' I whispered. 'You have to know that.'
She sniffed a few more times and moved back out of my arms but I kept my hands on her shoulders, not wanting to break contact with her. She composed herself before she looked right at me, her eyes full of pain and sorrow.
'I need to go,' she said, softly. 'You and I just keep running around in circles and I really have to go.'
'Please stay,' I begged her.
'I can't,' she replied. 'I need to go to bed and sleep off this alcohol.'
'Please, stay here with me,' I asked her once more, taking her hands.
'Don't,' she sighed. 'I'm leaving.'
She snatched her hands out of mine and turned, pulling open the door as she stepped out onto the street. I followed her out and leaned against the window of the shop.
'What are you doing?' she asked.
'I won't talk to you if you don't want me to,' I told her. 'But I'm going to stay right here until you're safely in a cab.'
'Fine,' she sighed.
A little bit of time passed by before a cab finally drove up the street. We didn't say another word and my heart sunk when she held out her hand and the cab stopped right by her. I'd wanted to hold her for the rest of the night close to me and feel her warmth right until morning but after what I had just said, I understood that she wanted to be as far away from me as possible.
'Goodnight, Cal,' she said, not looking at me as she pulled open the rear door of the cab.
'I'm so sorry, baby,' I said, making her freeze. 'For everything. Every single thing that has happened and fucked things up for us. There has never been anyone so perfect come into my life. I swear, I'll never stop loving you and I will certainly never stop being here for you. There'll never be another girl for me and I hope that you come back to me but if not, I honestly just wish you happiness.'
She remained still on the spot as I poured my heart out and I watched and waited, hoping she would slam the door shut and run into my arms and stay here with me. She nodded her head slowly but still did not look at me.
'Goodnight,' she repeated, before quickly climbing into the cab and closing the door. Within seconds, the cab was down the street and out of sight, leaving me alone in the cold, dark night, hating myself for every single cruel word I had said to the fucking love of my life.
'Fuck!' I screamed out loud, my voice echoing off the buildings.
I pulled my cigarettes from my pocket and sparked up, sitting down on the stone cold pavement and smoking before moving onto another one and then another. Finally, I got to my feet and headed to the shop door again, stepping inside and locking it behind me, ready for a torturous night of restlessness and pain at having my girl so close to me and then driving her away once again.