A/N: rewriting some of the chapters due to changes in my writing style
"I was ten years old when it happened. I was in a pack with my parents and my little sister, who I had already named Jieun. We lived far away from the pack. We didn't have any other choice. We were forced to be far away from there, like we didn't live there at all. My father was an omega, my mom a weak beta. The pack that we were in, was known for being strong, for being full and crowded by alphas. My family was the weakest link, the underdogs, the one's that didn't fit in. Usually, they wouldn't allow us to belong to that pack. They didn't want their reputation to be tainted by weaklings. However, my father was allowed to stay, since him and the leader of that pack were childhood friends. We were happy, there. In the midst of all that struggle and unwelcomeness, we were happy. Even though they stepped on us every day and mocked us as we passed by. We were happy, we were so happy. I was happy, my parents were madly in love with each other. I was about to big brother. Life was good"
Jungkook took a deep breath, closing his eyes as if trying to get rid of a bad image in his head. Hani noticed the circles that he drew on her hand increase, becoming faster, wider. She could see he was nervous about telling her this. Truthfully, she was nervous too. Nervous to hear the outcome of the story, the piece of truth in the tale, that she had so long wished to know.
"The alpha's son was my schoolmate. He had a habit of picking on the weak. So it's no surprise that I quickly became his favorite toy. Being a son of an omega only meant one thing: that I was destined to be one myself. Not only had I inherited my father's looks, I had also inherited his weakness. He'd pick on me every day at school. He'd steal my lunch that my mother had so delicately prepared in the morning for me to take. He'd hit me just for laughs. Mock me just simply for existing. And I honestly didn't care. Nothing of what he said mattered to me. But, one day, he decided to search deeper and find something much sharper to hurt me with - my family. He called my father names, laughed at my mother's lunch. I never told my parents about it but, one day... one day, I was so tired and I just couldn't take it anymore. My mom was... terrifyingly nervous when I told her. My dad... my dad was absolutely pissed at me. That day, he told me: No matter how strong, how powerful, how big your opponent is, you should always fight back. For there is nothing more embarrassing, weaker, than to go down without a fight. It is not strength or power that makes a winner, a survivor, a fighter... it's will and persistence."
"Your father gives amazing advices. He must be a tough one, too"
Jungkook smiled tenderly at the girl. Bravely, he wrapped his arm around her, his free hand twirling a lose strand of her hair in his finger. Hani slightly blushed at the gesture. Her whole body felt fuzzy, electrified. His body was pressed to hers, she could feel every bit of him. The night was cold, but the girl was warm and bright like a summer afternoon.
"The next day at school, I decided to fight back. My dad's words echoed in my mind as I punched the alpha's son, until I couldn't raise my hands anymore. I was tired of him. I was tired of hearing him call such awful names to my father, to my family. Calling my father weak and useless, when my father was so much more... f*ck he was so much more than what people saw. I arrived home with an open lip but not even that, could stop the proud smile on my face. As soon as my foot entered our small cabin, I rushed to tell my father about what I had done. He listened to me with a smile on his face, yet, the more I told him, more and more worry covered his eyes. I should have been able to tell how his eyes shook in fear, how dread washed over him. And I was too young, too naïve, too innocent, too... stupid. And I should have stayed when my mom told me to grab some wood. Perhaps, I could have stopped it from happening"
Jungkook's voice trembled at the end as if he was scared of telling the rest. Hani didn't know exactly why he felt that way, she couldn't read him. It could be because he was fearful of telling her his side of the story, perhaps not many people had bothered to hear it. Or perhaps, whatever words would come flowing out of his mouth in the next instances, would be too strong, too painful for the girl to take.
"It was dark by the time I arrived home. The night was dark inside the forest, and it was supposed to stay like that, yet, something was lighting up my house. It was a wildfire. A furious flame that was swallowing my house whole and everything and everyone else that was inside it. I ran to the front door, my hand was clasping the door knob. Yet, I didn't move. I froze, completely. I wasn't able to step inside as I heard my mom scream for my father. I didn't move a single muscle in my body as their screams echoed all over the forest. And I stayed frozen in the same place, the logs of wood pilling up in my arms. The screams became silence, houses and bodies became ashes – all in front of my eyes. I didn't move because I was scared. I was terrified, absolutely scared sh*tless. I was scared of losing my life. The life I had just started to fight for. Scared of that ridiculous weakness I had been given. I knew that no matter what I did, I could never save them. And that hurt so much to hear, to admit to myself because I was... I was the cause that this all was happening to them. Me. That's where it hurt the most. It hurt not being able to protect those that I loved and cared for. It hurt losing my family, losing the sibling that I never got the chance to meet. It hurt so f*cking much because I knew that there was nothing that I could do, nothing that I could ever do. That hurt turned into anger. Anger for everything in that pack. The people, the cabins, even the f*cking grass. And I decided to take from them what they took from me"
The wind stopped blowing, the crickets went quiet. The clouds in the sky above stopped moving. It was as if the whole world, the whole universe, had gathered to listen to the tragedy that was Jungkook's life. The whole word stopped to give the boy comfort, to let him know that even the universe, too, froze at times.
"It's all a big messy blur after that. Just random pieces of memories here and there. I remember seeing them mocking my parent's death, celebrating that they were gone. That no one was poisoning their breed anymore. I remember grabbing the alpha's son and being ripped away from him. I remember being tied up like a doll and placed in a bonfire, where they wished to burn me like they had done to my family. I blacked out to the sound of their laughs and celebratory screams. When I came back to my senses, the Alpha was dead. Everyone was dead. I ran away. When guilt and regret started crawling under my skin, I left the place. Only a few weeks after, did the memories of the things I had done started haunting my conscience. Ripping heads of mother and children. Tearing limb after limb. I couldn't comprehend how I had done that, where did that burning rage came from. It was confusing, but I realized my body had changed. My wolf had changed. It was different now, more aggressive, stronger. An alpha not born out of blood, born out of fear. Fear of losing those I care for, fear of failing. That fear created that monster you hear about so much, created that ... legend, that myth, that killed a pack in a blink, with no hesitation whatsoever"
It was quiet, silent. Hani didn't know what to say. It was the first time she was hearing exactly what had happened on the night of the tale. She was still processing everything. The pain that Jungkook felt, the tragedy, the loss, the anger, the injustice, the lies that the tale told. The tale had pictured him to be nothing more than a bloodthirsty, anger driven, mad wolf obsessed with bringing chaos and destruction to all those around him. In reality, it had been just a little boy, angry at the world, angry at the way his life had been ripped from his hands. It was heartbreaking and Hani felt her own heart shattering, the tears welling up in her eyes the more she thought about how unfair life had been for Jungkook during all these years. And how people with selfish and greedy hands, had tried to cause a deeper gash on the Alpha's heart.
Jungkook stole a quick glance at Hani. His eyes hesitantly and fearfully looked at her. Her quietness frightened him, made him nervous. Jungkook didn't even let his brain process rationally what was happening, or even tried to understand the girl's reaction. Already used to people drifting apart from him, Jungkook prepared himself to say goodbye.
"I understand. I understand if you want to st-"
"No. Shut up. No."
Jungkook's eyes widened in surprise at Hani's harsh response. Her heard turned rapidly to face him, her eyes filled with determination and a new found braveness. Her petite hands were applying pressure on his thighs, forcing the Alpha to sit down and listen to what she had to say.
"You are not a monster, Jungkook" Those were the first words that left her mouth. Jungkook's heart stopped in his chest, his eyes dived deep into hers, a small spark of hope lighting up his. "You were young and scared and hurt... Why do you let people tell such a twisted version of what happened? Why do you let people paint you like this when you know it is not true? They would understand if they knew what really happened, Jungkook. They'd feel your pain too, like I am feeling right now. And they'd get to look in your eyes and see how you are far from what they have made you to be. They wouldn't fear you or despise you. They would admire you, Jungkook. Admire you for being so brave at such a young age, for being so strong and fearless. For being able to stand against everyone that was against you and just fight and protect those you love. To be able to fight for others when you can't even fight for yourself... Jungkook do you know how incredibly brave that is? This power wasn't given to you because you were scared. It was given to you because you are worthy of something bigger. Because you carry the bravery, the determination, the resilience of someone strong. The moon goddess gave you this power so that you'll never be hurt again. The goddess gave you this, because she knows you will use it to always protect those you care for. She knows that you will always fight, persist and do what's right for the people you care for, no matter how tall the mountain, how complicated the obstacle might be." Hani's hands shyly grabbed his. The Alpha's eyes were focused on their joined hands, on how gentle her fingertips touched his skin. "It is not strength that makes an Alpha... it's their will to protect others. Its bravery, determination, persistence, will and love. An Alpha's strength relies in the way they look after their pack, the people they care for. An Alpha is someone that fights for his pack before fighting for himself. That's why you were picked Jungkook. You were picked because you find strength in protecting those you love"
Tears were streaming down Hani's cheeks rapidly and without any warning, painting her grey sweatshirt of a darker color. The girl hadn't noticed them. Hani was too focused on him, on letting him know, exactly, what she felt and what she thought. All that she wanted was to reassure him, soften and melt a bit of the pain he still carried. Hani's eyes were locked on his, the tears that they carried glimmering under the light of the moon. Jungkook was perplexed at her, at her tears and at the sincerity and worry that coated her mouth as she spoke. The words of reassurance had come out of her before she could even process them or think them through. Hani just felt, deep in her heart, that she needed to comfort him, to tell him he was not the "monster", the "vile creature" they wanted him to be.
Hani's heart jumped in her chest with excitement as she felt her body gently being pulled towards him. The tears had abruptly stopped, instead, her skin tingled with adrenaline. He had tenderly lifted her up, placed her on his lap. Jungkook had his arms wrapped around her; Hani's nose was against the crook of his neck, inhaling his scent that became more and more addicting to her. His hand was brushing her hair gently, tenderly. Jungkook was comforting her, trying to suppress the tears that fell from her eyes.
"Don't cry, baby" He cooed softly, his lips brushing against her hear in the most careful of ways. The little sweet nickname had her heart experiencing all sorts of things. It glowed and vibrated in her chest, her cheeks became bright red, her eyes widened with an overwhelming excitement and love she didn't know that they could carry. "It's fine. Things happen."
"I know..." Hani replied, her lips brushing against his skin. The Alpha's body was electrified, playful goosebumps decorated his exposed neck, a shy blush covered his ears. "I'm just worried... I guess"
"Don't worry, li-"
"You can't tell me not to worry" Hani removed her face from his neck, her eyes wide open staring into his. She looked aggravated, worried as if Jungkook had said something he shouldn't. "How am I not supposed to worry about you? I just can't simply not worry about you when you are my m-"
In a flash, realizing what words were about to come of her mouth, the girl violently and rapidly covered her mouth with her hand. She had stopped the outburst, the secret that, although it was not secretive at all, Hani so desperately tried to keep to herself. Jungkook's eyes glowed with mischief and playfulness, a subtle and small smirk had grown on his lips. Hesitantly, he leaned his face closer to her, tenderly removing her hands; silently, telling her to share that secret she was trying to keep.
"Say it" The Alpha almost begged. "Tell me"
"What?"
Hani was flustered at the demand. She was aware of what he was asking of her. She was aware of how much he wanted to hear that word fall from her lips again. Fall prettily, delicately, somewhat, sinfully from her pink lips. His eyes were locked on hers, impatiently waiting for her to speak.
"What am I to you?"
Jungkook's words were taunting, playful. He was asking a question that they both knew the answer to. Yet, he needed Hani to say it. He needed to hear that four lettered word fall from her lips. Jungkook desperately needed the confirmation that she felt the same thing as him, that this bond was true and he wasn't just seeing things – that this was actually happening and that it wasn't some kind of dream. The Alpha yearned for her, yearned to hear her say that they were destined for each other. He desired to hear her voice speak to him about how the moon goddess had made them for each other, a perfect match, two sides of one moon. That they had been placed in the world, moved like chess pieces so that their paths would cross.
Jungkook's face was just a few inches away from her, his breath was fanning gently over her lips, his eyes were diving into hers. Swiftly and slowly, they changed their focus, now, tracing Hani's pink lips with their gaze. They were ardently, passionately, observing them; waiting for them to move, waiting to listen the word. The word that would make all of it real. Say it. That's all that Hani needed to do – say the word. The Alpha would recklessly, wholly and completely devote himself to the girl, he'd drop everything and follow her to the darkest corners of the earth, he'd free fall into an endless pit – if she just said the word. That four lettered word. The Alpha was growing impatient, his face had leaned further close to her. His nose brushed softly, shyly against Hani's, his lips lingered above hers, sending the girl's mind and body into a frenzy, an ever-growing flame. They both, hopelessly, begged their lips to crash, to collide and meet, even if it was for a fraction of a second. To make music and whisper poetry to one another. To show the other how much they were desired and wanted with their lips, as actions speak louder than words and their tongues became weak when the other was near – forgetting all language, all sounds. They wanted to taste each other, to feel their lips intertwine like the strings of fate that connected and bounded them.
The moonlight was casting its light and attention on the boy and the girl, lighting them up in the midst of the dark forest. It was if, all that existed in the world was watching them, observing them... waiting with them. Waiting to see the most beautiful astronomical event to meet and take their breath away.
Hani's eyes fell on Jungkook's red lips. Her own trembled like his, impatient and hungry. Like a thunder that falls from the sky and crashes on earth, the word fell from Hani's lips, shaking the ground beneath Jungkook's feet.
Mate.
Jungkook's lips met hers in the softest of collisions, as if the girl's lips were kissing a cloud, being caressed by angels and painted by the sun. For moments, they didn't dare to move. His lips were pressed on her gently, softly, tenderly, delicately. Their skin was electrified and they both felt like they had energy to last until the end of times, and longer than that even. The air was stolen from Hani's lungs as Jungkook separated his lips from hers. The girl felt life escaping from her, oxygen vanishing from her lungs. Jungkook didn't allow her lips to be without his. That fraction of second that they were separated, were enough to drive him mad, crazy, lost. Jungkook crashed his lips on hers, hungrily, passionately, strongly. Their lips moved together, their noses brushing, her eyelashes fluttering against his. As one of his hands held her body close to his, the other was placed in the back of her neck. He pulled her closer to him, her lips closer to his so that, even if she were to pull away, even if slightly, they would still be touching, painting and making love to his. When she felt him pulling her closer, Hani's hands, instinctively, reached for his cheek. She, too, pulled him closer to her, wanting to feel him more. More of him and of his lips. Jungkook's hand boldly travelled down Hani's body, leaving a trail of adrenaline wherever he touched. They stopped at her hips, grasping on them harshly as he lifted her up from his lap. Hani was laid down on the soft grass, her lips never parting from Jungkook's. Their lips refused to let go of the other, they were holding on to each other hopelessly; believing that, if they ever separated, they would never meet again. Hani's hands were getting lost in Jungkook's hair, she gripped and pulled on his hair gently as his hands sneaked inside her sweatshirt. He was standing above her, his lips captured hers slowly and strongly. His thumb drew circles on her skin, stopping only to gently grip it when Hani pulled on his hair, wanting him to move his lips faster on hers.
Everything was soft yet powerful. That day, at that moment, Jungkook and Hani learned where power truly existed and lived in – in the softest of things. They learned that power is not measured by strength. It's your ability to move someone's heart, to make their heartbeat match with yours without saying a word. Power was nothing of grand and marvelous, it was something that hid itself in small things filled with meaning like a touch of the hand, a sunset, a word thrown messily into a sentence, an action of pure spontaneity and without no goal or a kiss, like the one that they were sharing. Nothing in the world, was more powerful than them.
"Mate"
Breathlessly, the word fell from Jungkook's lips. Dripped from his swollen red lips into Hani's that were just as red and swollen, coating them with a sweet divine honey that the girl had never tasted. They both breathed heavily, unbalanced and deeply. Their eyes staring into each other as they tried to catch their breath. If someone had seen them, they'd think that they had run a marathon or moved a mountain. Yet, all they did was kiss.