A Great Big World- Say Something
5 Seconds of Summer- Amnesia
Logic- Let Me Go
Post Malone- I Fall Apart (This is my freaking jam)
A/N: Fatal Flaw will be posted in about two months, since I'm not satisfied with the way it's written right now. Please look out for it!
Damien's POV
As soon as I step out of the car on the White House driveway, several agents flank my sides.
"Follow me. Don't make a scene," One of them says, and with that, we walk to a different door than the one I took last time. Under different circumstances, I would've felt like someone of importance with guards around me. Now, I feel like a criminal walking to the electric chair.
We walk through a series of hallways and my heart stops when I see her. Her.
Hope.
Hope's POV
"Are you helping or not?"
"I'm coming, mom." I tie my hair back into a ponytail. "See ya," I tell my friends before exiting out of my room. I probably had roughly 2 hours of sleep before my dad had knocked on the door to ask Cellie about her mom. When she returned, she barely said a word and we didn't ask. We didn't need to.
But since I had no choice but to face a new day, I decided to help my mom prepare the Map Room for a social gathering planned in the evening. Anything to keep my mind busy.
I was about to check my phone when my mom peeked her head in and asked if I was helping. I follow after her now into the kitchen and carry some snacks along with the chefs upstairs. The chefs are quicker than me. They quickly and carefully place the cupcakes on the cupcake holder in a neat circular shape. By the time I'm done with mine, the chefs are already gone to pick up a second batch. I carry the tray out and walk alone down the hallway. I look up and almost drop it when I see Damien.
My breath gives way, my usual response whenever I see him. He's flanked by agents as one of them grabs his arm to direct him. His eyes are on the floor but as if there's a sign, he looks up into my eyes. In a surreal moment, time passes slowly and it's as if my mind has gone into tunnel vision. Everything moves in slow motion.
I take a deep breath and will myself to stay still. He must be turning himself in, though I'm not sure why he came to the White House to do that.
His face is still bruised, but his eyelid is less purple and not swollen anymore. His eyes never leave mine until he passes by me and an agent nudges his shoulder for him to turn around. I close my eyes in an attempt to ground myself. Any second now and he'll disappear down the hallway.
5.
4.
3.
2.
1.
"Wait," I call out before I know what I'm doing. I put the tray down as the agents stop. Heart pounding, I walk towards them and around to face Damien. I peer up into his eyes, and my heart responds. But I can't find the words to speak.
"Hi," He smiles sadly.
"Hi."
"Hope, I'm so-"
"Shh," I say before placing my hands on either side of his face and lean up to kiss his cheek with trembling lips. I close my eyes as it brims with tears and lean back on my heels, pulling a shaky breath. When I look up, a wet streak lines his cheek.
"Goodbye," I say shakily, before stepping aside to let the agents pass by. He looks back at me as they proceed to walk and our eyes cling to each other until he disappears to the right.
I press my palm to my lips to stop the sudden emotion unfurling within me. I slowly walk towards the tray and pick it up, feeling profoundly guilty.
I should've kissed him on the lips. I should've said I love him one last time.
Damien's POV
When my eyes leave hers and to the white walls of the hallway, I almost collapse right there. I clear my throat and force myself to take each step further down. I should've told her I love her. I should've told her a million things. But it's too late now.
My mind wanders to my parents. They always said I was a disappointment. And now, it was Hope's turn. She didn't say it but she didn't need to. Like everyone else before her, they expected me to be better than I really am. Trusted me too much. And then eventually, I let them down. I let everyone down. Like always. So I lost my family and my girlfriend as a consequence.
You need to pay for what you've done. You need to pay the consequences.
Hope's words play back to me. Seeing her, crying and heartbroken, I know that this will never be enough. She'll loathe me because I won't stay in jail for long. A few years tops, and I'm out. How can that ever repay anything? How can that fix anything? That would hardly be any consolation. All I ever wanted was to make her happy. To make her feel loved. And yet I've replaced that in her heart with hatred. She will never be satisfied until I truly pay.
I fell in love with the wrong person.
So as the agents knock on the door and we enter the president's office, I realize what I have to do.
Hope's POV
"Are you okay? You've been awfully quiet."
My mom notes as she gives me the last tray. "I'm fine." I plaster a smile. I'm about to turn and take it upstairs, when my mom removes it from my hand and wordlessly hands the tray to a chef. My mom takes my hand and escorts me out of the kitchen.
"Is it Damien?" She asks in a low voice. I nod.
"I know. But everything will be fine. There's no need to worry, the police will let him go shortly.
I frown. "What do you mean let him go?"
"You don't know? They just bought him in for questioning about the murder."
My blood turns cold. "What murder?"
She gives me a weird look. "Did you not check your phone? Some man named Shakur Toussaint was killed at Cellie's party. Apparently, they call him Prince in the streets. But I'm sure Damien has nothing to-"
"Did you say Prince?" No, no, no, no, no.
"Yeah, Prince. Have you heard of him?"
"No, I..." So Damien lied to me? How did this happen? He said he'd stop it. What the hell is going on? Is that why he was apologizing when I saw him earlier? Or was he-
"Hope."
I blink. "Yeah?"
"Come. Your friends are waiting for us in the Solarium. Just relax, everything will be fine." She leads me upstairs to the "comfort zone," where they've already started the movie. It doesn't matter. I can't concentrate on anything right now.
Not too long after, the door burst open and Nolan's eyes shifts frantically until they land on mine. And I know. I just know.
Something very terrible has happened.
Damien's POV
"Okay, let's begin," The female officer, Waldman, says. She places a picture of Prince on the table. I peer up at Madison, who is looking at me with what I assume to be trusting eyes.
"Do you know who this man is?"
"Yes, Prince."
She nods. "His real name is Shakur Touissant." What the fuck? If I wasn't in such a situation, I would've laughed. I guess the thought of his real name never came to mind. "How do you know this man?"
"I used to be in his gang. I left, though."
"In California."
"That's right."
"And then a couple of months after he came to Washington, he beat you up. And your friend." Is that a question? I want to retort, but I holdback at the presence of the president.
"I was jumped. Not beat up," I correct her. I'm sure if it was just me and him, I would've won. And until there's someone to prove me wrong, I stand by my point.
"What vendetta does he have against you to give you that black eye?"
"I..." The president's eyes are trained on me and I hesitate. Another person who trusts me. Another person I'll disappoint. "I framed his best friend, Cory Holden."
Waldman's interest is peaked. She leans forward. "For what?"
"For beating up some kid. It was me, but I told the cops Cory did it and he was arrested." Technically, he took part, but I'm the one that sent him to the hospital so the details doesn't really matter.
She glances at a cop sitting on the other end of the couch. He writes down something on a notepad before she turns back to me. "When was this?"
"Uh... 4 years ago, I think." It's crazy how time flies. And nothing has changed. I was in the same predicament as I am now.
"Okay. Where were you around 8pm at Cellie's party yesterday?"
"I'm not sure." I don't know why I'm chickening out. Maybe it's the president's watchful gaze. Maybe because I'm scared.
"Were you alone?"
"Yeah."
She sits back against the couch cushions. "You live alone, correct?"
"Yeah."
"Does Prince have anything specific against Zachary?"
"No. He's just my best friend. I mean we were both in the gang but they never had any problems. At least not directly."
"So," She crosses her legs. "Correct me if I'm wrong. Which I'm not. You have no alibi, no witness to place you far from the crime scene at 8pm, no witness to know the time you arrived home. And you have a reason to want him dead." She's enjoying this way too much.
I sneak a look at the president who is frowning at me. "I don't know what to say."
"You can start by telling me who killed Prince."
I avoid Madison's gaze as I take a deep breath and stare at the floor. And if I look at that cocky bitch, I just might say the opposite.
"I killed him."
"What?" Madison's voice is loud enough to make me flinch.
Even Waldman is surprised. "Are you... confessing to the murder of Shakur Toussaint?"
"Yes, whatever he calls himself."
"Damien." I look at Madison, who's shaking his head in confusion. "What are you doing?"
"I'm sorry, Mr. Madison," I say before turning back to the officer.
Waldman is about to speak when President Madison asks, "If you killed him, then what weapon did you use?"
Shit.
Bryce wouldn't have used a gun. Too loud. And he wouldn't have used a silencer. That would mean wasting money on a piece of shit like Prince, so definitely not. They could've beaten him to death, but it'd be too messy and catch too much attention.
"A knife. I stabbed him repeatedly," I say simply. It was Bryce and his friends, which meant it wasn't just one fatal wound that killed Prince. Besides, Bryce isn't the gentle kind of person. He'd make sure he suffered before drawing his last breath.
Waldman stands up. I fix my eyes on the couch as I feel Madison walking towards us. "Then we're done here. Damien McIntire, you have the right to remain-"
"Wait," I say. She sits back down and I can see from my peripheral vision that the president is standing near me. With my heart in my throat, I say, "I wanna confess to another murder."
"Really." Her tone holds amusement. "Who?"
"Um." I wipe my palms against my jeans and clear my throat It doesn't help, because my feet is shaking uncontrollably. "Is... Isabelle Madison."
She frowns. "Who?" She says at the same time as Madison says, "The fuck?"
"Isabelle Madison." I can't believe I'm doing this. But it's what needs to be done.
The male cop on the other end of her couch leans forward. "You mean... the president's niece?"
"Yes, I-"
"Damien." Madison is next to me now, but I refuse to look up at him. "What the hell are you doing?"
"I killed her."
The male cop shakes his head. "That's not right. The killer confessed."
I let out a breath. "Elijah only confessed after they found the gun that killed her in his apartment. I threatened him to do so."
Madison crouches to my level and I unwillingly meet his gaze. And freeze.
His veins are bulging and his mouth set in a hard line. The look on his face is not Jo, the man laughing with me at the dinner table or playing basketball with me or dancing happily with his wife. This is the cold look of a man that is capable of anything, if pushed a bit too far. A look of a president. "Choose your next words carefully," He says slowly. I swallow and look away.
All I need to do is think of Hope's face full of hatred and her harsh words that night, and the words flow out naturally. "I had his gun that night. I was drunk and I took the safety off. And then... Hope and her... Isabelle. She was wearing a black jacket and white jeans. I think her boots was black. They were walking and I tried to talk to Isabelle but she flipped me off. I got angry and we started arguing. She kicked me in my nuts and ran so I shot her. I don't know what got over me, but... I was so angry. So when she fell, I walked up to her and shot her in the... face."
Waldman tilts her head and frown. "Then why date Hope? You killed her cousin."
I struggle to get the words out, hating myself even more as I say each word. "I uh... thought it'd be fun if I-"
Before I can blink or utter another syllable, my head ricochets so fast that I register the pain a few seconds later. My head only hits the couch a millisecond before I'm pulled back by my shirt and then the president is punching me in my face. My first distracted thought was, So he is tougher than he looks. The pain is almost as bad as Prince's fist with a knuckle brass. I groan as I feel his hands wrap around my throat.
"Mr. President!" I hear shouts and yelling but I can barely pay attention. My hands are still and my body chooses not to fight back. I deserve this and more. So much more.
I see hands pulling him back and after a moment of struggle, his hands are pried lose from me and he's stumbling back. "Get the fuck off me!" He yells. It takes a minute to realize there's men in black suits surrounding him. Since when did they get here? He points a finger at me, a cold hatred settling in his eyes. "I'm gonna make sure your ass is locked up in prison for a very long time, you hear me? You fucking hear me?"
I release a shaky breath. Waldman's mouth is agape, but she quickly recovers, her hands ready with handcuffs in her hands. "We'll check to see if your story corroborates with the actual events," She says quickly, clearly afraid of the president's sudden outburst. She reads me my Rights before slapping the cold metal around my wrist. I can feel the hate emitting from him even though my eyes are pointed to the ground. She pushes me slightly and we walk together out the door.
You need to pay for what you've done.
I'll try.
Hope's POV
Jaliyah pauses the movie and my mother stands up. "What happened?"
"Hope..." Nolan says, looking at me. "Damien just confessed to the murder of Isabelle."
"What?" We all say in unison.
I stand up, my vision teetering at the sudden rush of blood to my feet. "That's not possible. It wasn't him."
"Well, that's what he said. And your dad was... Everything happened so fast-"
I run past him and into the hallway. "Wait!" Nolan tells. I pause, my heart beating erratically. "They've taken him already. He's on his way to the police station."
I turn and run to the West Wing. When I reach the hall of the Oval Office, there's a swarm of agents. I push past them and into the room.
"Dad!" I yell. He's leaning again his desk and Rodriguez is next to him speaking in a low voice. I vaguely notice his knuckles stained with blood before I grab his wrist collar. "He's lying!" My voice cracks and I swallow past the bile. "He didn't kill Isabelle. He's lying. It's not true. What is going on?"
It takes a few moment before my dad focuses his eyes on me. He pulls me to him and wraps his arms around me, placing his chin on my head. "Don't worry, gumdrop. I'll make sure he's put away for a long time."
"No," I pull away from his embrace. "You don't understand. He didn't do it. He's lying and I don't know why." I must be dreaming. That explains it. Damien wouldn't purposely lie about a murder. It doesn't make sense.
He shakes his head, his eyes glistening. "He's not lying. He even described exactly what she was wearing that night."
"Because he was there, Dad! But he didn't do it."
He frowns. "What are you saying?"
"I'm saying, he's an accomplice, not a murderer. He was there that night and when I found out, I told him to turn himself in-"
"Hope. Do you hear yourself right now?"
I groan in frustration. "We're running out of time! I'm going down to the station to tell-"
"You're not going anywhere."
"I'm sorry. But I am." I hear a sigh and turn around to see my mother behind me.
"Jo, just let her go. If only to get closure." She looks tired than I remember. She rubs her temples. "Hope, lets go. I'm going with you. I need to hear him say it."
"Then I'm coming as well," Dad says.
Damien's POV
I place my head on my shackled hands as a turmoil of emotions roll over me. This is it.
Waldman had left to check the report of Isabelle's murder. It's probably been about ten minutes since I've been sitting at the metal table, but it feels like an eternity.
The door opens and before I can even bother to look up, I hear a harsh voice. "Damien!"
My head snaps up and I watch in surprise as Hope, followed by the male cop, and Waldman walks in. Despite the company, Hope comes around to face me and kneels on her knees. I turn my body to face her, or at least as far as my cuffed hands would let me. "What the hell are you doing?"
I almost come undone at the rawness of her voice and the desperation in her eyes. My eyes glance down at her trembling lips and for some reason, I have a profound urge to kiss it.
"Tell them the truth," She gestures to what I presume are the cops.
"I am." My voice is almost a whisper. It's the most I can do without breaking down right now and crying. I always seem to become weak whenever I look at her. And right now, I can see the damage I've caused to her in her eyes, and the dark circles underneath. I never meant to hurt her, and seeing her this way, it solidifies my resolve.
She turns to look behind me but I can't look away from her. I need to memorize her face as accurately as possible: The curve of her lips, the intensity of her butterscotch eyes, the smoothness of her cheeks, the curls of her hair. It pains me that I will never see her smile again.
"Damien was there when my cousin was murdered. But he didn't do it."
"Are you saying you knew about this the whole time?" Waldman asks out of my vision.
"No, I found out recently." And then she tells the room the events that led to this moment: Her following Will after seeing his tattoo that matched Elijah's, hearing about Will's plan to kill Prince and hearing the name 'Vice', confronting me, me promising I'd stop the murder before turning myself in, everything.
"Hope," I say. She glares at me but doesn't answer. "I lied to you. I just didn't want you to try and stop me."
"Why are you doing this?" Her eyes start to glisten. "Stop this."
"Damien," Waldman says. I reluctantly tear my gaze away from Hope and turn my head. "Is this true?"
"No. I killed Prince and you know I did." Better to use her ego to my advantage. "And I also killed her cousin. How could she possibly have seen clearly? It was dark and she was clearly in shock." I hear her sharp intake of breath and I know if I look at her, there would be hurt in her eyes.
But there's some truth to it. The only one who can credibly deny my story besides me right now, is dead.
"Well it's too bad Elijah's not alive to confirm," The officer notes.
Hope stands up. "You can't possibly believe him."
"His story matches up, Hope. I'm sorry, but I'm sure he's telling the truth. Why would he lie?"
She slams her hand on the table. "He's trying to punish me!" She looks at me with pleading eyes. "Damien, please. Please, stop this." She's back on her knees and my eyes are held captive. She takes a sharp intake of breath as if swallowing her cries.
"You said I need to pay for my consequences."
Her voice shakes and she doesn't bother wiping the tears falling down her face. "But this isn't your consequence to pay. Please, Damien. Don't do this to me."
I swallow. "Look what I've done to you. You're miserable because of me."
She shakes her head vigorously. "That's not true."
"You've lost your smile."
She swipes at her eyes, her lips forced upwards, screaming agony. "I'm smiling."
I draw in a shaky breath. "You need to let me go." My voice cracks and I bow my head. She tilts my face up with her hands.
Her face is filled with disappointment. I know this look- I see it each morning in the mirror. Her words are slow as her eyes bore into mine. "If you do this, I will never forgive you."
"I don't deserve it anyway." I bite on my trembling lips. Her eyes are mirrors, shimmering with tears when she slaps me.
"How dare you?" She yells in my face. I don't turn my face back to look at her. The door opens and I look up in surprise to see Madison. When Waldman and the cop sees him, they quickly file out the room. He doesn't look at me once as he approach her.
"I'll never forgive you for this!" Hope yells at the side of my face. I reluctantly turn to look up at her, trying to plead with her, but she talks over me. "I will never! You-"
"Hope." Madison places a hand on his daughter's shoulders but she doesn't seem to notice because she's still yelling at me. I look away, no longer able to bear seeing the hurt and pain, the tears streaming down like a river. I did that. I ruined her.
I close my eyes and drop my head to my forearms. "I hate you!" She continues, each word solidifying in my brain to haunt me for years. "I hate you! You hear me? I will never forgive you this. I know you're trying to punish me-"
"Hope!" I hear her dad say.
"Let me go! Let me go." Her voice becomes muffled and I can guess that she's crying into his chest. The door closes momentarily after, and its then that I notice that my cheeks are wet and my vision has blurred. A sob escapes my throat and I allow myself a minute to wallow in the pain.
I will never forgive you for this.
Her words will forever haunt me. I just know it.
I hear a person clear their throat and I jump in surprise. I quickly wipe my face and look up.
"Mrs. Madison?"
"Why?" She says. She's sitting across from me in a chair, the only person in the room.
"I'm really sorry about your niece." My voice sounds nasally and high pitch, but she doesn't seem to have heard.
"I want you to say it to my face. That you did this."
"I did it." I sniff and look away.
"Why?" Her tone holds no emotions and I wonder if she's also going to take a turn to hit me, as did the rest of her family.
"I... I don't have an excuse."
"Isabelle was a beautiful person. I get it. You was attracted to her. And then what? She didn't feel the same way about some creep trying to hit on her so you just... killed her."
"Yeah, I guess."
"Why? I want to know why."
What am I supposed to say? Did Elijah even had a reason? I will never know.
I flinch when her voice raises. "Answer me!"
"I... don't know."
Her next words are soft as she leans in. "Because you didn't do it. Only a psychopath would."
"I... Mrs. Madi-"
"Makayla," She snaps. "Why are you purposely hurting the both of you? You know it was Elijah. And since he's dead, you're taking advantage of it. Your little secret has run its course don't you think?"
"I... I killed her. You just trust me too much." I'm not falling for this. I know there's a one-way mirror and she and Madison must've been watching this whole time. I don't remember what I've said to Hope, but I don't want to give myself away.
She sighs and moves her chair around the table to sit beside me. She gently cups her hand on my left cheek and moves it to the right to face her. "I can get you a job. A really good one. Whatever and wherever you want, as long as it's reasonable. You wouldn't even need your parent's money. They probably think they're contributing to your life in some way by paying you rent. You can cut them off."
I frown and shake my head. "I don't-"
"I'm not done. You drop this act, I'll make sure your record gets swiped clean. You can start over. Anywhere you want."
I'm speechless. Why would she do that? Did she have that much faith in me? Or is this just pity? Although the offer is very tempting, I can't start over without Hope. And I can't ever be with her again so there's no point. "I'm responsible for her death. And I need to pay for what I've done." At least that much was true. I was responsible and I have to pay. If I had stopped him in time, Isabelle would still be alive.
"You know what I think? I think you're trying to push her away."
"I already did that. She hates me."
She shakes her head, her voice surprisingly soft. "She doesn't hate you. She's just angry because she loves you. Whatever twisted reason you're doing this, I'm not abandoning you. I'm here when you come to your senses."
"You shouldn't." My voice cracks and I turn away. Why is she being nice to me? I've ruined her daughter. It doesn't make any sense. None of this does, anyway.
"Trust me. I'm more stubborn than you are," She answers. My nose start to sting and my throat begins to tighten. I open my mouth to allow a breath in as tears well up in my eyes. I press my nails into my palm to keep them from falling, but when she puts an arm around me, my body gives up and I let out an ugly sound. My mind goes back to when Hope promised to never leave me, and to the present where she did. And yet I lean into the comfort of the second woman to promise me this, releasing the sadness and sorrow that had been held inside of me for a very long time.
*****
Anyone understand the chapter name? Hint: It's related to another chapter title.
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