The tears ran down my face, one after another. The sobs leaving my mouth as I gripped the steering wheel, feeling completely worthless. I couldn't stop, the tears continued to fall, It's not like I tried to stop crying anyway. My vision was blurry and my mouth was dry, my skin was soaked in mascara and tears. The water ran down my neck, causing my shirt to get wet. I stared at the road ahead of me trying to be weary of my surroundings, as tears filled my eyes and whimpers left my lips, it was then when I realised, I had been cheated on.
~~~~
Warmth wrapped around my body, holding me tight. I snuggled into my quilt, resting my head on my tear soaked pillow.
It had been a week, I was a mess. I never knew what it felt like to feel numb, as all I'd ever felt before was heartache, trauma and sorrow, never in my life had I felt completely numb.
I spent my days feeling sorry for myself, crying and ignoring messages.
I've never been in such a vulnerable state before and feeling like that scared me, It was a new bearing that I needed to adjust to.
I was lonely and I was sad.
I blocked everyone out, my friends, family and even Grayson.
He messaged and called me nonstop but I didn't answer a single call or text, I was to busy trying to stop the urge in my heart to go back to him.
People had come and gone. They knocked on my door multiple times before leaving as I didn't answer. After all what did they expect? My mind wasn't functioning properly, my heart wanted things it couldn't have, my body was weakening and the last thing I wanted to do was open a door to person who wouldn't understand.
I stared at the ceiling, with the comfort of my bed. I wasn't thinking about anything, in fact I was just staring, staring at the plain white painted wall, which surprisingly was very entertaining when everything in your life was falling apart. A knock at my door didn't cause me to flinch, I didn't even budge. I kept my gaze at the ceiling as I heard more and more knocks, they weren't leaving. I didn't get frustrated and I didn't grow impatient. I just let out a sigh and shuffled to the edge of my bed. I peeled the quilt from my body, the coldness from the air sending a shiver through my body. My toes wiggled against the carpet as I stood up, slowly walking towards my bedroom door. My fingers gripped the handle and my wrist turned, I pulled my door open. I wandered down the stairs and headed to my front door.
My breath hitched in my throat and I felt a sudden knot form in my stomach
"What are you doing here?" My voice was nasally and coarse
"J-Just wanted to see how you were" he smiled slightly as his voice cracked
I stared at him in disbelief
"How do you have the nerve to say that to me?" I asked as I felt tears begin to prick my eyes
"I'm sorry" he whispered as he started to cry "I just miss you so much" he looked up and grabbed my hand, he pulled it to his chest "I wanna love you again, I wanna hold you in my arms again, I wanna kiss your beautiful lips again, y/n I just wanna be yours again"
We were both now crying, I pulled my hand away
"No grayson" I shook my head as tears fell down my cheeks "I use to think of you as someone who would never, ever hurt me and now" I paused "I can't even look at you"
"I'm sorry" he whispered "I promise you, I mean it"
"I know" i nodded my head as I cupped his cheek, he leant into my hand "I believe you but sorry doesn't fix my broken heart"
"Y/n" his voice cracked "you can't leave me" he sobbed "I'll do anything, please, I'll change I promise, please I love you, I love so much, I-I can't live without you, please, please I'm so sorry, you know I would never wanna hurt you, you're my baby"
I fought every nerve in my body and every urge i had from jumping onto him and wrapping my arms around him, pressing my lips against his, I just stared at him, i started to cry harder.
"Stop Grayson, you're making this so hard for me"
"Please y/n, please find it in your heart to forgive me and let me have a second chance" he begged
"No" I stared at him "you were my everything Grayson, I loved you with everything I had and that wasn't enough" I stared into his eyes "you're a different person to me now and even if you change, you'll always be the guy that broke my heart"
I watched him crumble, his eyes loosing the sparkle that always attracted me.
In that moment, as we stared at each other on my porch, I realised something, I realised that the man I loved since high school, had officially shattered my soul.
"Goodbye Grayson"
I slowly closed my door and pressed my back against it. I clutched my arms as I slid down my font door, my head rested on the the painted wood. A single tear rolled down my cheek.
I didn't want to let him go
This was so sad omg
I don't know why I did a part 2 but you know 🤣
I love you
PEACE✌🏻