It was around 4 in the morning Killian and I were at the backseat, we sat there in silence. Our marriage had been consumed for real.
I-
I could hear my heart in my ears.
"I told you to leave!" Killian whispered hoarsely after we both had finished. Yes, I ended agreeing to this but if it could have been in other moment I would had preferred it
I stayed in silence. So is that why he wanted me to leave?
Killian then bent down and grabbed his shirt and buttoned up. He bent down again and I heard keys...
The locks on the doors got unclicked and Killian got out. I heard him slam the door close while I stayed there frozen. I trembled.
Then I heard the driver's door open up and Killian came in, shutting the door on the way.
My mouth was dry.
Then Killian began driving away.
I was shocked at what happened. I didn't regret it but I was just astonished, Killian had taken me by surprise.
Nathaniel had always been gentle and Killia-
Stop! I hissed at myself.
My legs felt shaky. I began trying to fix my hair and my dress. The heels began feeling painful.
And I-
I began feeling sore on my lower part, more like tired.
After a while we crossed Killian's gates and he stopped the car in front of his house...
Killian kept giving me fast looks through the mirror. We both sat there in car, in front of the house without words.
I wondered what my face looked like. I saw Killian grab his face in his hands.
I felt many things, I didn't even know which one was which. But then one started rising up. Fear.
Fear of getting pregnant... I didn't want to have a child. I didn't want to be the mother. I would be an awful mother.
No. I believe something changed in my face because Killian snapped his head towards me with fear and guilt completely on his face. In an instant he was opening my door.
His face didn't show anything this time. I don't want to be pregnant.
Killian then picked me up bridal style and he managed to close the door and he hurried over to the front door.
He then put me down and while he unlocked the front door, I felt something sliding down my thigh. I looked down to see something white.
I bit my lip. I was growing embarrassed. I heard the door open and when I looked up Killian had his eyes on my leg.
I felt my face go red.
Killian looked back at me and he took me in his arms again and carried me towards my room.
He sat me on the bed and turned the light on. Killian then took something out of his pocket, I looked over at it to see a black small box. He opened it up and took something out. He grabbed my hand and I felt something sliding into my finger. Killian let my hand drop, to my lap and before I knew it he was out of my room.
I stared in shock and confusion after the closed door.
I began taking the heels off and I walked towards the bathroom.
I took a long nice hot shower. I couldn't understand why Killian had acted the way he did.
Did he feel guilty or something?
While water fell over my body I looked down at the ring.
It looked very old and I was sure it was worth a fortune.
Had this ring been for Kayla? I shut the water and I wrapped a towel around me and went to dry my hair and got dressed so I could go to bed.
That night I wasted it on looking at the ceiling. I never planned on having sex in the parking lot of a mall, less inside a car... I did plan on persuading Henry. I sighed and tossed around the bed.
Why hadn't I seen the monster Nathaniel had been before?
I swallowed. Suddenly I felt like I had cheated on him. The feeling made me feel confused.
Why did I feel like that? He's the one that kept me out and went far away while I drowned.
But he didn't know I had been in the hospital. I sighed, but he still treated me awfully and not just me but other street racers. He forced me to do him a bl-
I felt my stomach churn and bile come up. I sat up and squeezed my eyes shut. I couldn't take those images off my head. The way I had been humiliated that day, the way the security man had smirked at me. The way he had given me his back on the day I broke down in front of everyone.
He used me to get his company. That was no love. He got all he could from me and now he's trying to step on me.
I'll show you not to ever step on me again. I'll show you, you never affected me. Even if it's a lie.
I went to the bathroom and washed my face.
Next morning, I woke up to the smell of pancakes. My stomach grumbled. I looked over at the clock to see it marking 9 in the morning.
My eyes popped wide.
"Shit!"
In an instant I was out of bed and dashing to brush my hair and get dress. I added natural make up and I let my hair down.
I then walked out towards the kitchen cause the house smelled wonderful. When I got there Oliver was on a stool and he was watching Killian.
Killian was chopping something and Oliver's face held amazement. Killian turned to look at me and bit his lip.
And in a fast movement he looked away, it was beginning to piss me off.
Oliver turned towards me.
"Good morning!" Oliver chirped.
"Good morning!" I said in a grumpy voice and I took a seat next to him.
Oliver obviously didn't notice my mood.
"He cooks!" Oliver whispered like if it were total gossip. I ended chuckling and Killian stole glances at me.
Killian looked tense. Like if he were waiting for rejection.
I bit a nail. I sighed and focused on Oliver. It's not like I would talk about yesterday while we had Oliver for public.
"Oliver if you could build a hospital or an orphanage what would you chose?" I asked him trying to distract myself.
Oliver gave a thoughtful look.
"If I could do both then I'd go for it!" Oliver answered.
Ee..
I think need another blank spot, I thought.
"Here you go!" Killian whispered interrupting us. Killian placed in front of Oliver and me pancakes, eggs, bacon, toast and chopped strawberries.
I looked at Killian to shoot him a smile. He looked nervous and when he saw my smile he looked shocked.
I heard Oliver moan and my attention went over to him.
"Scarlett I think there is someone who cooks better than you!" Oliver whispered.
I narrowed my eyes at Oliver. Then his eyes fell to my hand.
"A ring!" Oliver yelled in bewilderment. He then looked to the both of us. Killian looked down at his food and played with his fork.
I the mirrored his actions.
"Will I get a great grandson soon?" Oliver asked.
Killian and I looked up to him in disbelief. Oliver then gasped and looked between the both of us.
"You're pregnant, aren't you?" Oliver asked.
I closed my eyes and groaned.
"No Oliver, Killian and have just decided to try things out!" I said awkwardly.
Oliver then looked disappointed.
"We did?" Killian asked in bewilderment.
I turned to give him an annoyed look.
"We did!" Killian whispered.
We looked at Oliver once again.
I could see he was about to shoot us questions.
Killian and I managed to get to the car, to his driver. Oliver did talk to us, more like embarrassed us.
I think my face would be red for a few days... After a few minutes of being inside the car with Killian the air became tense.
"Scarlett." Killian whispered.
I looked at him to see him looking down at the floor.
"Did I hurt you?" Killian asked quietly. I stayed silent and then Killian looked at me.
"No." I mumbled. Killian looked back down to the floor and stayed quiet.
The air became more tensed. " I won't say I'm sorry because I loved every second of it. " Killian whispered.
I felt like I was turning even redder!
"Then why did you leave me?" I asked quietly. "I'm scared you would push me away. Not to mention I was shocked at my own self..." Killian played with his fingers nervously.
I had been right he feared rejection.
"You're a jerk, you have to admit to it!" I pointed out.
Killian remained silent.
I sighed.
"I don't regret it either. I knew we would eventuall-"
Have sex, I thought.
"I just thought you were going to court be and that crap." I said while biting my nail, completely embarrassed.
Killian looked back at me surprised.
"You don't regret it then?" Killian asked.
I shook my head. I heard Killian sigh in relief but then he looked confused.
"Do you still want to try things with me?" Killian asked nervously after several moments of silence.
I grabbed his hand.
"We did agree to it." I whispered.
"I'm yours, you're mine." Killian whispered and looked me in the eye.
Killian squeezed my hand. We both looked down at our fingers intertwined.
I liked Killian and I was happy about us but I had to keep in mind that Kayla might talk to him fully one day and maybe he would choose her and not me.
"Killian if you have to go one day just tell m -"
"I love you!" Killian interrupted.
I looked back at Killian. Love?
"You do know I might not be the love of your life, right?" I asked.
Killian sighed.
"I know you're Nathaniel's -"
I rolled my eyes. Right now thinking of Nathaniel angered me beyond anything.
"And I know you're Kayla's." I whispered.
Killian remained silent. "I'm scared you'll wake up one day and realize I'm not worth it." Killian said after a moment.
"Funny thing is, I fear the same." I mumbled.
Killian and I looked at each other.
"Then make sure to enjoy the sex and my money!" Killian played while trying to make the moment less uncomfortable.
I snorted. "I have enough money!"
"Sex?" Killian asked, wiggling his eyebrows. I rolled my eyes once again. Killian chuckled and then sighed.
"I wouldn't ever let you go, Scarlett. You are worth so much and you always give everyone credit except yourself!"
That made me swallow. Then why did everyone turn their back on me?
Killian grabbed a strand of my hair and played with it. I just noticed Killian enjoyed doing that.
Killian licked his lips nervously.
"Scarlett." Killian said quietly.
"If you do end up pregnant you wouldn't... kill it, would you? " Killian asked in barely a whisper.
I furrowed my eyebrows.
"Of course not, what kind of person do you think I am?" I asked in disbelief.
Killian sighed in relief, that felt like an insult. "I'm sorry I guess I'm still traumatized."
I stayed quiet. I did not want to get pregnant.
"Let's not bring Kayla into this, ever!" I whispered.
Killian nodded. I closed my eyes and leaned on the seat.
"But I am scared about it." I confessed.
After that everything went silent again and my thoughts went elsewhere.
What if Hayden didn't approve of Killian?
I would leave Killian, I answered myself.
Then my thoughts deepened.
A part of me told me to not be with Killian, another told me to go for it and another told me to kill the few feelings I had and enjoy just the sex... I wanted to slap myself just for that thought. I groaned, internally. The truth was I was scared Killian would leave me.
"Can we go on a date tomorrow?" Killian asked out of nowhere.
I opened my eyes and looked at him and rolled my eyes.
"I think we did skip that."
Killian chuckled.
"I think we did!" Killian agreed.
I gave out a snort and looked down at my ring. I turned to look at Killian ready to question him but he beat me to it.
"It was my great grandma's, grandma, mom's and now it's yours." Killian answered my look.
I looked back at it, raising both of my eyebrows. The ring had diamonds and I was guessing it was made out of gold. It had been a perfect fit.
It was a family tradition.
"I can't."
Killian took my hand before I took the ring off. " I want it to be yours!" Killian whispered.
What if it had been for Kayla?
"And before you ask if it was for Kayla, no. "
"The one I was planning on giving her was one I had bought but never did I plan on giving this one to someone.."
I looked down at my fingers again.
The ring was beautiful. I smiled.
I stared at my new antique ring.
I guess it's Oliver, Hayden and Killian now.
" Thank you! "I whispered and looked back at Killian.
Killian kissed my hand.
"But I thought you didn't do married women! " I smirked.
Killian snorted and rolled his eyes.
"Very funny!"
I chuckled a bit. The awkward moment left. Killian looked more relax.
"I told you would end in the back seat of my car one day!" Killian wiggled his eyebrows at me. I groaned remembering.
"Asshole!" I cursed.
I covered my face with my hands.
I groaned again in embarrassment.
Killian began laughing and I began hitting his arm.
" Self-centered jerk!"
Killian laughed more and soon I joined him.
It was funny how my life had turned on me.
*
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I walked up to my office with a hurry. Killian had dropped me here and left to his. Everyone gave me their good mornings and I gave them mine in the first floor. Once I verified Killian was out of my sight I began looking for birth pills everywhere, I felt to paranoid to even think of a child. Once I was able to buy some I entered my office and right there was sitting Henry. Giovanni, Ryan and him were chatting. They turned to give me their good mornings.
"Good morning!" I chirped and then I gave them a curious look.
"Scarlett I got news for you!" I was kinda curious to know why he was here so I hurried to my chair. Henry looked at me. "Well straight to the point!" He stated.
"Rachel's award is starting the tryouts in a week and by tomorrow you have to be in New Mexico to sign up, I already did that for you but you still have to be there so you can get a quick introduction to the others and to what I believe is training!"
My mouth fell open.
"The race well be in pairs or of three people, I believe!" Henry finished.
I stood up in a flash and gave out a squeal of happiness. I hurried and gave a huge hug to Henry. I felt a bubbling happiness. One I was going to race like I had dreamed of it. And second and the most important I would be a step closer to Hayden. I turned and hugged everyone.
Henry said pairs. I wondered if there was an age limit.... I smiled. New Mexico here I go!!! "Ugh Scarlett I'll assign your third partner. " Henry whispered. Who cares, I thought. I'm racing even if it's for a little bit!
But....
I wish I had taken those words into more consideration.