Ugh these early mornings of dragging myself out of bed. My summer was a bore little to no excitement. Isn't that a mood killer? It's just me and my guitar...as if I had one. It was just me and these four walls me thinking of a master plan listening to my wide variety of music ranging from Pink to Lil Kim to Bruno to My Chemical Romance to Fall out boys to blink 182 to my love of old school Tlc to Swv to Jodeci and so on. You get creative when you're bored seriously trust me. For the most part I was in my anti social moods which comes and goes. The only thing to get me out of my room was the need for good food other than that no way no how. I was stir crazy being stuck in the house cooped up in my room with not much to do tends to put a strain on you there's only so much you can do. We had a few random guest or family visitors which was rare. Other times I would sit in my room sketching til my hearts content I had a sudden creative spark. I'm a fashion lover my style is unique. My clothes tell a story. I'm in between deciding to be a fashion designer or a stylist because I can't sow yet. I can draw though and as long as I got a pen and paper for my vision I'm set.
My parents think my dream is unrealistic and I should lean towards higher paying jobs with more guarantees and success rate blah,blah, blah. Boring! I don't want to take the easy way out I love a challenge. I don't want a nine to five I want a career or occupation I love. The pressure is on I don't want to disappoint them but I have to find my voice or I'll get lost in it all. They like to bulldozer my ideas quickly but growing up they were more encouraging. They even gave me the you can do whatever you put your mind to speech.
Oh yeah here comes another year of dreadful school I could've done without. Only reason I kind of don't care because I know it's my last year. Yah trick yah. This school year it starts on a tuesday and like every year on August 25. The highlight of it all is I get to see my friends I only see at school. I don't get out much 'cause I be focused on my books. Trying to be book smart not street smart. Oh my goodness it just settled in this is my last first day of high school. I love the sound of that. About time I swear its felt like a slow lifetime. Maybe a decade. Will it all be worth it? It better be. I didn't come this far to fail.
Here I am in deep thought I've been up for a minute debating going back to sleep or dragging myself out of bed to prepare for a nice hot soothing shower. Let me tell you it was not even a real debate because sleep won you can never have enough sleep. I rolled back over drifting back to sleep snuggling deeper in my comforter. I know I should be up preparing because honestly I take forever to get ready that and we couldn't afford wasting gas when we were pincing pennies already that's why I make sure I try to make the bus. Money tight around my neck of the woods.
It felt like paradise with my stress relieving machine playing ocean sounds I have a hard time sleeping if you can't tell. I drift off faster losing myself in the tranquility surrounding me. I was fading away into my thoughts and dreams. All of a sudden creaking disturbs the peace enveloped around me I know the intruder, my mom, is at my bedroom door. Noo I'm not ready. "Ariane it's four thirty you know you should be up."
"I'm up." I said into my pillow coming out muffled.
I could tell she was still in a sleep daze herself based on the sound of her voice so she didn't nag any further. I'd have to shuffle to get up and browse through my walk in closet. I hate making decisions on top of that I'm not a morning person at all. I force myself to get out of bed and start to go through my clothes. I got tired of going through clothes right away grabbing the simple go to outfit sweatpants and a baggy t-shirt. Who do I have to impress? Nobody. I just don't care. I'm such a rebel. I'm going to slide on my converses done deal. I head to the hall closet to get me a towel and rag before rushing to the bathroom. I hang my clothes along with my towel on the towel rack. I go to turn on the water letting it run until I'm sure it's turned hot. I check periodically as it warms up. I strip slowly still not happy with this but knowing it's got to be done.
I grab my rag humming songs that pop in my head as I turn on a little cold water to stop the scolding water before pulling out the knob that turns on the shower. It rushes out spilling down my body. I start to wake up more and more under the gushing water as I began lathering my rag with coconut smelling body wash. I glide it along my body starting with my arms then progressing to other areas under the gushing of water coming out the shower head. I'm trying to avoid getting my hair wet as well so I won't have to worry about it frizzing up. Once done I just stand there under the water a while.
Remembering that my bus driver was strict and impatient I rushed to turn the water off so I'm not wasting time although I'd love to savor my showers. I shimmy into my laid back attire. It didn't take me but a minute or two. I knew Miss.Tamia would drive off if I wasn't at the end of the road. I was the only person at my stop just like I liked it especially since my stop consist of me standing at the end of my driveway. I rushed to my room to grab a jacket because it might be cold. I slide my arms into my favorite light blue plain jacket with white fur inside the interior of the jacket. Alert to my surroundings I sit down on my cuddle buddy aka my bed sliding on my black ankle socks with snoopy design on them. Next I slide on my converses lacing them tightly before stepping out my bedroom heading outside to stand at my stop. Oh yeah! Look at me making moves. I grab my drawstring bag not removing or placing anything inside. Not sure what's in it but don't care.
I pondered making me a quick breakfast but thought better of it seeing the time on the microwave. I'll just eat the horrible thing they pass off as food. Might as well prepare to have a stomach ache. My stomach always starts to act up afterwards no matter what I eat. There should be a sign reading Eat at your own risk. Side effects: extreme bubble guts.
Just my luck it's lightly drizzling as I take a step closer to the bus stop. I spot my father pulling into the road on his way to work. I pull out my mp3 player turning on shuffle to drown out the world. Elle Varner Not tonight blasts in my ear just like I like. Although I know my earphones won't drown out the loud noise of the kids on my bus. For the moment I'm content. I wonder who is riding this year. I'm going to miss all my upperclassman friends. Man but now I'm one of them.
The gray skies aren't helping my mood when it rains I get tired and sleepy. Its really depressing. I'm surprised my mom didn't warn me that it was raining. Oh well.
My bus should be here any minute now. The time seems to fly and the rain has definitely picked up. I'm just about to turn around when I hear a familiar sound of a bus. I turned towards the sound only to see a hauling truck coming down the road. A gust of water landing on me not enough to bother me but to the point that I was tired of waiting.
I back track going inside to sit on the couch watching out for the bus from inside my living room. I was so close to giving up on it and laying back down it was so tempting. Something wouldn't let me. More like someone.
"Ariane better not miss that bus. I'm heading to the library for my shift. I don't get off til after six."
My mom works at the public library how exciting. Please note my sarcasm. I wonder what her real dream is she always drones on and on about doing better than her and living out my dream although they frown apon my real dream. What a oxymoron? I think my whole existence is an oxymoron don't ask me why though I haven't figure out how to explain it so it makes sense. Give me time. Better late than never.
"Maybe schools canceled."
"Don't be silly. I marked it on my calender and the news said nothing about canceling school Ari if the bus doesn't come call your cousin Rico to come get you."
Here we go again. Everyone knows the first week is always the same uneventful routine. I'm not missing anything important. You can't tell my mom nothing. I swear she wants to get rid of me so bad. I'm going to be the first one out of my family whose going to graduate high school and go off to college in my generation. I feel the pressure even more this year than ever.
I'm very book smart even got common sense but compared to most I am really sheltered my parents are really over protective. They just want what's best for me but I need my breathing room. Honestly. They're probably over protective because I'm a only child. So suffocating I can't breath on my fabulous flow. You remember that old song. Classic. I use to have it on repeat what a hit. I'm a music junkie music can change my mood like asap. Plus it is in my genes being that my grandmother was an amazing singer and so is my dad. He down plays it as a hobbie. He's gifted. I got a smidgen of talent but I have a bad case of stage fright singing in crowds. I almost forgot my mom is still yapping.
I know where this is about to go. "Your education is important." I know. "You've got one more year. Start it off right and you'll have a strong finish. You're going to be the first Cruiz of your generation to graduate. Go off and do big things in life." I swear there's not a day I go without her or one of my family members reminding me. That was her way of modivating me but it just piles on the pressure. I get it but they just pushy with it their delivery is all out of whack. All wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong. Like calm down.
"Mom you're going to be late." I said attempting to get rid of her. Her co worker Lattice was hanking her horn impatiently. Her and my mother carpool together to work. We only have one car and dad uses it to go to work. He gets up very early. I had no comment for her and her expectant stare was aggravating.
She redirected herself back to the door blowing me a kiss recollecting the task at hand. I'm so relieved. My brain feels fried like blahhh.
The tv was playing George Lopez man he's funny. My favorite person is Benny I think that's his moms name. Oh well if not it'll come to me later. I turn off my mp3 that had been still playing I forgot all about it unknowingly dropping it in between the cushions of the couch along with my purplish blue earphones. I flipped through the channels as soon as the commercial came on stopping at married with children.
A horn pierced my ears alerting me instantaneously I shoot up without thinking rushing out locking the top lock before pulling the door shut. There at the end of my driver way was an orange bus number 1258. The door was opened awaiting me to enter. I climbed up the stairs noticing a male driver behind the wheel obviously the sub. No wonder they were late today Miss.Tamia is never late.
I picked the first seat hoping to avoid being closer to the loud mouth girls in the back gossipping. They were cackling it sounded soooo ugly. Just as ugly as them. Most of the faces on the bus were new so I automatically classify them as freshman and sophomores. After a couple more stops, I began drifting off to sleep or atleast I tried.
"Oh my gosh! Haha what?"
Who has this much energy in the morning I wished they'd shut all the way up. So annoying. Like come on I'm trying to hold my tongue but their voices are grating on my nerves. They sound beyond obnoxious these inconsiderate rude youngings have no filter, self control, or respect. Grow up.
"You know Imani, right?"
Who the fuck cares? Shut the hell up!
Seriously this is beyond upsetting me. I can't. Everytime I think I'm getting an once of sleep I hear them in the background. Just when I thought I was going to be the one to tell them off this girl sitting across from me speaks up beating me too it. She turned around addressing them fearlessly.
"Like can you shut the fuck up it's too early for all that loud talking. Calm down." She paused before growling out "Man freshmans. Over excited assess."
To my surprise they quieted down. Hush mode. Yay. It didn't last long I couldn't properly enjoy my rest because we were pulling into the bus loop to drop us off. I get up walking off with everybody else. The dark skies clear the rain ends. I head to the cafeteria to feed my empty stomach.
"Ari is that you?" Someone called out to me.
I get happy recognizing that voice the first person to find me is him not surprised. Dominique. Dom. Aka my best friend. He think he's God's gift to the world, women, and the life of the party. He a cocky style on fleek clown ass nigga.
The line moves up I look around searching for where his voice came from. When I see him jump from the rail separating the lines I jump back. Man he loves sneaking up on me. He need to stop that mess.
"You miss me." He said with a crooked smile on display.
"Not really."
"Wow that's fucked up. Man fuck you too then." He said trying to cut in line. I grip his arm. He is not leaving me. He pulls me along as we get hateful stares from the people we skipped. They aren't happy yet they say nothing. Dom gets away with a lot. I know him as silly, funny, sweet, caring but others only know his unmerciful side the one thats stays in trouble. Dom's been looking out for me since freshman year him and my cousin Rico run with the same misfits.
I grab a tray placing an apple juice and a blueberry muffin on it. That's it. I can only eat so much of this pitiful excuse for food. Dom gets one of the dry sausage biscuits and a mini sealed jelly container plus a orange juice.
"Ari follow me." He said tossing his tray away. I did the same holding my food and juice in my hand as we went to the lobby connected to the cafeteria where you could find some people hanging out at.
"Seriously you didn't miss me."
"Yes I did I was kidding you big baby." I teased.
"How was your summer?" His eyes lingers around searching the room. He's easily distracted. "Damn." I shook my head as he watched some girl walk by with her friends. His eyes glued to her ass. Guys. I roll my eyes "I'll. Be. Back." She not cute from the waste up so I don't know why he acting so thirsty. No not thirst he's on a another level. A rare breed of thirsty called...
Dehydrated.
He was mistaken if he thought I was waiting. The fuck he on what the fuck he drinking, smoking, snorting, inhaling. He must be sniffing sharpies again. I headed out the nearest door to the hall just walking around. I passed the front office with that rude ass lady behind the desk. She mad snappy. The bell rung and I began going towards the far side of the school where the trailers were. My homeroom teacher is Mrs.Sanders she would give me my schedule.
I've had her homeroom all four years. She's really laid back. I arrive shortly, enter, and immediately see so many familiar faces. No teacher though. On my way here I was on straight tunnel vision still pissed at Dom for walking off. Like where am I on his priority list. Oh I know beneath these scandalous triffling hoes. A stranger is on his rador over our six years of friendship. A quick hook up more important than catching up with me who hasn't seen him since June of last year. My eyes are so open right now.
"Hey girl."
"Hey." I said sending a friendly smile over to a short girl named Rosa.
Rosa is a really short shes like four feet she makes me feel tall hanging around her. She has really nice shiny black hair. She's really smart determined and pushes to keep her grades in the A B range. Her grades are all she talks about most of the time but after awhile it gets annoying. My parents would love a kid like her we should trade. We're not friends but we're associates I don't consider everyone my friend. You have to earn that.
Everyone doesn't derserve the title. For me considering her an associate is a big deal. It is what it is there's alot of people who I know and they know of me. If they speak I'll respond but my circle of friends small. That's why I don't have to focus on drama. Keep low key and they'll never know your moves.
I'm ready to go and I just got here. Ugh I can't stand school. I see Myra and wave at her before sitting beside her. Another associate she and I have very deep good convos. She's cool.
"Where's our schedule?"
"On the table by the door you walked past them. Go get yours so we can see what classes we have together."
"Alright hold on."
I see Chaz's tall frame standing right there talking with Dustin. Problem solved. I don't feel like getting up."Chaz hand me my schedule please."
"What's in it for me if I do?" I knew I should of asked Dustin. Chaz is too extra he plays too much.
"Why you so difficult? I said please."
"So."
I roll my eyes about to stand up I'm not begging that's what he wants. Once I'm up I see him walking over to my desk with it. He slams it on my desk "You're welcome."
"Thanks I could do without the attitude though."
"You got it didn't you."
"Whatever."
"Whatever." He said mimicking me. I couldn't help but laugh it off. He's so stupid. I can never take him serious.
Me, Myra, and Rose compare schedules. I have no clasess with Rose at all. She has alot of honors and Ap classes. Me and Myra have one class. We had English together. My classes were:
1.Foods
2.Spanish 2
3.Marketing
4.English IV
The bell rings and immediately it turns into chaos as people dash out the doors. We have five minutes in between each class before the minute bell goes off as a warning. In the building I walk through the main lobby only to run into Rayven and Karmen my friends in the halls. Both seniors. My home skillet biscuits. I can't remember where I stole that from.
"Ari!"
"Ray! Karmen! Awww I missed you fools."
"You too you've been M.i.a this summer. You should of hit us up."
"With what phone?"
"Damn I forgot you ain't got no phone." Ray said making it sound like the worst thing in the world. Knowing her it probably is. "Poor thing."
"Get a job Ari stop being lazy." Karmen snapped.
"I would if I could. Laziness is just so seductive." I say playfully countering what she said.
"Stop letting laziness seduce you, ha ha. Where your best friend at?"
"What best friend?"
"Don't play dumb."
I roll my eyes realizing they're talking bout Dom "Oh you mean my ex best friend I disowned him when he abandoned me." I hear myself and it does kind of sound dramatic but still that's how it was.
"For his boys." If it was them I'd be more understanding but a random. That is a no no.
"Nah for a big booty and a smile." On cue we all roll our eyes at the same time.
"Dom a trip."
"You know he cute though."
"No he ain't he alright to look at but he not special. These hoes be gassing him up."
I expect them to continue the convo by agreeing or disagreeing but I get silence. Weird. Not like them.
"That's fucked up you calling me ugly."
Dom. Now he reappears a little too late. I don't know why they get shy around him. They're weird he just a person like anybody else. He not as intimidating as he seem. I'm not entertaining him I'm doing him like he did me. Since the girls are on mute it's time to go.
"Bye you guys." I wave walking off hearing the minute bell go off as I did. I head for the staircase Dom is following me. He needs to leave me alone.
"Go to class." I hiss out.
"Whatever why you leave this morning?"
"Why you leave? I ain't good enough to hold your attention before you run off into the sunset with some random. Where they do that at? I wasn't a priority to my so called best friend so I left. You make time for what you want and obviously I wasn't in the schedule. Anyway if you know me a well as you say you do you knew I'd leave. I don't wait on no one. I am not no waiting around kind of bitch. I ain't desperate. I take it back I ain't miss your ass." I snap full of venom claws out. Sinking my fangs in that bitch like a vampire. I know I know I'm eccentric I rather be weird than conform that's boring. I enjoy my freedom.
Looking in his face he blowing me off and not listening to none of the facts I laid on his slow ass. Fuck that punk ass bitch. Him not that girl. No better yet fuck her too.
"Shawty was bad. I had to go holla at her real quick spit that fresh off the top game. You see that ass on her." He said sticking his tongue out panting like a dog. Churlish and insabordanate. No excuse own up to it you wrong then we can move on. He trying so hard to not take responsibility for his shit.
"You're not forgiven." I rush out reaching the second floor looking for my class although I know if were late on the first day they won't care. I just want to get away from his kind of stupid. More like ignorance. You know that shit contagious and escalates to getting him slapped personally by me. That's the only cure. Make him my bitch. I'm a pimp name Ariane haha. You get it say it all together. A boondocks reference it's suppose to be a pimp names slick back. Played by Kat Williams. Don't mind me I'm having a moment. I smile to myself for that one.
"I didn't say I was sorry. I'm not apologizing." Ignorance is real. Award for most ignorant goes to, Dom. He stay fronting. Want to put on his tough boy act like that changes anything. I'm no push over.
"Do you. Cause I don't give a fuck. I see the true asshole in you wanna make an appearance. Rude ass nigga." I say turning on the heel of my shoes to face him.
"I don't know why you tweaking over nothing. I would've came back." That's a lie. Who he think he fooling? Not me.
" Be honest. You know you lying. Whatever I'm over it." I throw my hands up in surrender getting away from him. I give up he a lost cause.
"Don't walk away from me." He said catching my wrist.
"Let me go when you abandoned me you let me know where we stood. You Rico's friend not mine. I revoke our friendship."
Dom was pissed and tongue tied which read all in his fugly face. Do I care? The verdict is in. The answer is absolutely not.
"Are you alright?" I turned to the voice met with a concerned stranger his beautiful greenish hazel eyes, eyes pulled me in. No typo I'm just so mesmorised I said it twice to emphasize the luring trait. Beside that he's beyond cute and Hispanic. Possibly mixed with something else as well. I have a thing for Hispanic guys since my first kiss was Hispanic. I don't know what it is about them.
"Keep it moving." Dom told him. "This ain't any of your business." He said as if barking out orders. That didn't deture him one bit. Weak. Not everybody scared of him.
"It is now. Yo take yo hands off her." He stepped forward sizing Dom up.
I snatch my wrist as him and new kid stare each other down. Dom really lost his mind man handling me like I'm one of his hoes. Some lady comes out of no where well not really she came from around the corner yelling "Go to class. Are y'all lost?" She saw Dom and repeated it "Go to class." All the teachers seem to know him. He popular among them not in a good way either.
No one speaks up we just head in different directions away from her. I look over and see the boy who defended me. I smile at him and he returns it. "You sure you ok?"
"Yes thanks to you."
"Marco." He offered his name.
"Ariane. Call me Ari."
"Alright Ari. See you around." He said walking to the class across from mines.
I enter the classroom to students staring at notecards on the light brown wooden tables meaning there's assigned seats. My anitial assumption is I'm going to love this class. Who wouldn't love food? I stare at my schedule searching for our teachers name. Her voice floats in the air a instant bad vibe takes the place of my excitement. Mrs.Duefan voice has a not so pleasant tone which means she's uptight and we're likely to clash. I feel like her and me will crash because I'm no stiff. Always been goofy, sociable, and weird. I stumble across my seat in the front alert strike two. I grab the chair reluctantly sitting down in a haste. Her voice and attitude were strike one. I should be closer to the back so I could grow to like her from a distance. But no I have to be near the front whoopie I just have that feeling she's going to irk my last nerve. I'm so close if her breathe stunk like a million skunks I'd smell it. I'm a weird thinker so I think about this stuff. God give me the strength. Please pray for me. Lord I know I'm not right all the time. Help me in jesus name I pray. Amen. Don't judge me. I'm a work in progress. Aye!
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Vote, comment, share, fan if you like. Be patient with me most likely slow updates. Hug, kisses, and birthday wishes. Aye! Live it up. ❤ Love ya dueces.
Pic of Ari