Warnings: Swearing/language, anxiety, insecurity, angst
It was 3:30AM, you and your boyfriend, Trevor were only a few hours away from moving into your college dorms at BU, and you were nervous as hell.
The two of you were staying in a hotel room in Boston for the night, and neither of you had a wink of sleep. For the past few hours, you and Trevor had been cuddling in bed but not talking. You couldn't get out of the labyrinth that was your thoughts.
"Babe?" You felt Trevor's breath on the back of your neck and ear as he spoke. "Are you alright? You're shaking."
You realized that he was right; you were indeed shaking and you didn't even know it. "I don't know," you answered honestly.
"Wanna talk about it?" he asked, gently turning you over to face him. You looked in his blue-grey eyes and noticed that they were filled with concern.
"I just...I don't know why I'm so scared." As soon as you said it, you started to cry.
Trevor put his arms around you and pulled you into his chest, his head resting on yours. "Shh, it's okay, baby."
"No, it's not!" you sobbed, "The summer went by so fast, and now we're going to college. I'm excited, but I'm also terrified."
"That's totally normal, (Y/N)," Trevor replied softly, "Everyone is scared on the first day, hell, the first year of college, and anyone who says differently is lying."
"But are they all afraid of growing up?" you asked, lifting your head to look into his eyes. "I feel like fucking Peter Pan. That's not normal."
"Yes, it is," Trevor insisted.
"How do you know? Are you afraid?" you shot back before taking a deep breath. "Sorry, I didn't mean to raise my voice."
"It's alright, babe, I know you're stressed. And to answer your question..." Trevor swallowed before continuing, "Yes, I'm scared, too. Everything is changing and sometimes I wish I could stop time from moving. But I can't, and I feel so out of control, it scares the living shit out of me."
You knew it took a lot of effort for Trevor to admit it. He didn't open up on such a deep level often, but when he did, he never failed to catch you off-guard with how profound his thoughts were.
"Thanks for making me feel a little better," you said, leaning in to kiss him. He responded immediately, running one hand through your hair and grasping your waist with the other.
"Of course, babe. I'd do anything and everything for you," Trevor said after you both pulled away for air. You snuggled back into his chest again, and he wrapped his arms around you.
For a few minutes, the only sound was your breathing, but you felt Trevor's heartbeat quicken.
"What's the matter, babe?" you mumbled into his chest.
"Nothing," Trevor whispered so quietly, you could barely hear him.
You lifted your head up again only to find tears streaming down your boyfriend's face. "It's not nothing. Talk to me, please," you begged.
"I don't trust myself around you sometimes," Trevor said.
You were shocked. "What's that supposed to mean?"
Trevor's eyes widened. "Wait, I said that wrong," he said quickly, "What I mean is, I'm afraid that I'm not good enough for you."
You laughed for the first time since you arrived in Boston. "That's not true. If anything, I'm not good enough for you."
"Now that's ridiculous," Trevor replied. "You're a straight-A student and I'm just a dumb hockey player. You might not know it now, but you'll find someone else here who is way better than me, especially after I leave for Anaheim in a year or two." He averted his eyes, instead choosing to stare at the wall behind you.
"Trev, you are not dumb, and no one in the world can compare to you," you said earnestly. "I don't care where you are, whether it's here with me in Boston or 3,000 miles away in Anaheim. All I know is you're the only one for me."
It was his turn to look shocked. "You really mean that?"
"Of course I do, babe. I'm in it for the long haul as long as you feel the same."
"I would have to be insane not to," Trevor responded, chuckling. "God, I love you so much. I don't know what I did to deserve you."
"Would you please stop saying that? You calm me down whenever I have an anxiety attack, you always listen to me, and you treat me like a queen. You are the best boyfriend I could ask for."
You looked at him with what you were sure were hearts in your eyes, and he returned your gaze, smiling, too. "And you are the best girlfriend I could ask for," he replied.
"Just promise me that no matter what is going on in our lives, you'll talk to me. Whether I like it or not, we're adults now, and we need to be on the same page."
"I promise," Trevor said before kissing you again. "You know I'll be there for you no matter what, right?" he asked.
You nodded your head in response, and you couldn't help but smile widely.
"Good. Now let's get a little sleep before it gets too late to even bother trying."
"Okay," you responded, settling into his arms and closing your eyes. As you heard Trevor's breaths slowly even out, you let sleep overtake you.