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After being out in New York city until three in the morning we went back to have some rest in Jared's apartment.
The night was much better than I have imagined. As midnight arrived, we all cheered and headed to the guys' favorite bar to warm up and have some more drinks. Some of us had more than the others. Let's just say me, Lynn and Shannon got hammered, while the others were still having some of their brain working.
I only let way to my tears once, when Constance called the brothers to wish Happy New year. It reminded me that my mother and I never talked after our heated conversation about my choice of man, and my father came to my mind once more.
Jared did handle the situation surprisingly well; he didn't seem annoyed a bit when he had to sit on a corner couch with me for like half an hour, until I calmed down and begged for another glass of wine.
This little hangover did not stop Lynn to get up at eight in the morning as she planned it with us during the night, to be able to see some of New York city in the daylight.
Me and Jared woke up with her to go and visit some famous places; but first and foremost a café house with the strongest espresso to help me wake up. Jared was tired and a bit hangovered, but I was most probably still drunk as we walked through Central park.
"I really need to stay here, you guys go catch the next ferry," I gave up while sitting at the brunch place we stopped at.
Both Lynn and Jared vegan, we visited this cute little vegan place we came to a couple of times with Jared while in New York.
While eating, I realized the last thing I needed is a ferryboat to Liberty Island, so after some nagging, I did convince Jared and Lynn to go without me, promising them I will be right there where they leave me.
I anyway had the chance to see what they are up to as Lynn was documenting everything on her Instagram or snapchat, of course, without Jared in it. I felt relieved and so happy that they seem to be getting along well, and to think about it, they do have a lot in common, no matter the twenty something year age gap.
At one in the afternoon we all were buckled up in the jet, ready to fly back home. I straight up fell back asleep as we were able to switch our seat belts off and I could snuggle up to Jared in his seat as he leaned the headrest back.
Thanks for the change in time zones, it was only three in the afternoon when we arrived back to LAX.
"So tomorrow then?" Jared sighed taking both of my hands into his as we said our goodbyes at his house where, yet again I was able to take the car, which I still didn't want to say was mine, but Jared declared it to be anyway.
"As soon as possible," I smiled up to him with mixed feelings.
"A minute after midnight then... I'll be waiting," he smiled kissing my forehead long.
I chuckled closing my eyes by his sweet kiss, then stepping away he looked towards Lynn.
"Hey, Lynn, come over here for a sec," he smiled waving her towards us.
Lynn walked to us interested.
"Yeah?"
"I got a little something for ya," he smirked then walked into the house casually.
"What's he planning?" asked Lynn uncertain.
I just shook my head with a smile.
"I got no idea, really," I chuckled.
Walking back Jared had a big signature black and white Gucci box in his hands.
"The day you mentioned how much you love fashion, I couldn't help myself, had to order you a little something, because you are one of a kind and you do need a one of a kind accessory," he smiled pushing the box into her hands.
She couldn't even smile from the shock as she took the box slowly.
Opening it there was a beautiful, big handbag, red and pink, with the Gucci logo pattern and gold chains hanging around the front.
She basically jumped into Jared's arms, thanking him in all languages she knew, and we laughed amazed.
"My friends will faint!" she screamed caressing the bag with shining eyes whispering the year, season it came out and its official name, and I just shook my head amazed as Jared grinned proudly. He won her for forever. "I should say, I can't take this, but you are richer than the president, so I don't feel bad at all! Thank you so much!" she grinned up to Jared who laughed out loud.
"You're very welcome!"
I organized a Universal Studios visit to Lynn with James and Hayley to go with tomorrow so I can spend the last day with Jared without feeling guilty that I leave Lynn alone. I knew she didn't know my coworkers, but I know them, and I knew they will be amazing tour guides and company for her for the day.
So later that afternoon, around five o'clock, I only had to pitch the idea to Lynn.
"So... guess, what I had planned for tomorrow?" I smiled as I walked into the kitchenette after her, as she picked on some grapes.
"Aye, another plan? Avery I can't tell you how freaking amazing this holiday is going and it's not over yet! You are the best cousin I could ever wish for!" she was overwhelmed and overexcited again in a minute, although on the way back home in the car all she could talk about was a great night sleep and chill.
I just chuckled chewing on a grape.
"So, what if I tell you that you have a ticket to a guided tour in Universal Studios?" I grinned raising an eyebrow as I leaned to the counter.
I saw her smile get wider; her blue eyes brighter as she swallowed the last of her grape.
"Yes! Yes!!"
"Just... one thing. I have these amazing coworkers, slash, friends; James and Hayley, who would join you," I smiled. "Actually, James used to work there, he probably knows a lot of backstage secrets," I grinned.
"What? Sounds... great, but... aren't you coming?" she frowned sitting down onto one of the stools, sweeping her honey blond locks, behind her ear.
I looked at her pressing my lips.
"I... I kind of organized this with James and Hayley for you. They are amazing people and...." I sighed, "and tomorrow afternoon Jared flies to England for work for two months... and I kinda hoped I could spend the day with him while you are out... But if you're not comfortable with them..." I was ready to stick with her if she wanted me to, but I knew she isn't uncomfortable with anyone around and she will be fine.
"Oh.... Avery, of course you go! You be with him, I'll be fine!" She answered right away stunned. "You mean he leaves like... tomorrow and can't come back? Is it a tour or some?"
"He is filming there. For a long time but in the first two months he also has another project going on in his free days so... pretty busy," I shrugged unimpressed.
"That sucks, "she whined pulling a face.
I just forced a smile looking away.
"I think you should be his assistant now," she grinned. "You were travelling with him not being able to enjoy the places with him the way you should have. Now you could! And now you are stuck here," she thought about it what didn't help at all.
I just sighed.
"You know what," she smiled standing up. "You go right now."
"Where?" I asked with a frown for what Lynn just rolled her eyes.
"You go to Jared's! Now! Spend the last night together, duh!"
"Now? Noh, what will you do here all alone?" I asked desperately, thinking if I wouldn't be so nice, I wouldn't even have come back home today.
"Avery, I have slept like 3 hours today and it's still only five o'clock. Just give me your Netflix password and I'll be the happiest person today," she waved with a grin.
"I... uh, I don't have Netflix, but I can give you Jared's," I smiled, and she just chuckled.
"You know what they say about people sharing Netflix," she winked.
I smiled but then frowned.
"No... what?" I asked confused.
"Just go," she laughed basically pushing me towards the hall.
My heart was almost jumping out of my chest as Jared opened the gates so I could drive the car up to the front of the house.
I totally forgot to grab the keys to his house when Lynn gave me the green light to leave. I was prepared to see him for a couple of hours before he leaves but now, thinking of spending another night with him made my heart flutter and my breath go heavy with excitement.
Locking the car, I saw Jared hurrying towards me with a bright smile on his face. He wore nothing but grey sweatpants and a loose, white shirt.
I smiled running towards him, and meeting halfway I jumped on him, hugging his neck around as he locked his arms around my waist, holding me up then spinning me around with a laugh.
"Av, you're early," he chuckled as he placed me back down onto my feet then only after kissing my lips long, I got to speak.
"I know. All Lynn needed is your Netflix, so now I am here," I smiled cupping his face, looking up to him.
He smiled gently as he took my bag from next to the car where I dropped it, grabbing my hand he walked into the house with me.
Stepping in, I made my way into the living room, turning back, as I continued walking backwards slowly.
"So... movie and take out? Or cooking? Chilling? We have all evening," I smiled overjoyed but as he followed me slowly his smile was tight, and I knew this evening won't go as I planned. "You... have something to do, right?" I asked with a light smile, not wanting to make him feel guilty just because I showed up again unannounced.
"I... did arrange some plans, yeah," he sighed but there must have been something else, because he looked uneasy as he kept his distance from me, leaning onto the back of the couch.
"What is it?" I asked curiously.
He sighed studying me with an intense look before nodding.
"I... had to tell Valery that I will be away for quite some time... She wants to meet me before that. We... just go out for a quick dinner," he explained gently.
My throat tightened hearing her name.
I almost forgot this third wheel tied to us by a contract.
And I knew so well Jared gave me the option to tell him to get out, but I felt like I can't do that. I can't tell him what to do, I don't want to be that girlfriend.
"Oh..." I nodded looking away then back to him forcing a smile. "It's... alright."
"What?" he frowned. "Are you sure? I'm so sorry, if you would have told you can come today, believe me I would have told her I'm already out or something I..."
"Jared, I said it's fine," I cut him off but deep within I hoped for him to say, fuck it, and not go.
I wished he would do that, so badly, my heart started to beat faster.
He stepped to me taking my hands kissing them both one after another.
"I'll be back before you know it. An hour, no more, okay?" he asked looking into my eyes, looking for reassurance.
I felt a squeeze in my chest, but I sent him a smile, looking at him, hoping the tears what stung my eyes don't show.
"Yeah, yeah sounds... good," I whispered, the smile frozen onto my face.
His look was suspicious; he can tell how I feel inside, I know, of course he can and I only waited for him to say he is out.
I can't tell him to stop this all. He can stop this all.
He can; he could.
It's only his pride keeping him back, but is his pride stronger than the love he says he feels towards me?
"Okay..." he breathed then pressed a long kiss on my lips. "Okay..." he nodded again looking away then back to me. "If... you want me to... go..."
I frowned looking at him shaking my head.
"I... the last thing I want is you to go... but you kinda have to..." I sighed bit annoyed as he tried to turn this all on me.
"I told you to tell me if you want me out," he stated firm.
"It's not my decision to make..." I muttered folding my arms on my chest.
Looking back up to him I saw him watching me then just sighed loudly shaking his head.
"I'll be back in an hour."
Walking out of the living room he grabbed his sunglasses, keys and wallet before he left the house.
I let out a breath, looking up, I let my tears fall, but I hated myself for it.
I tried to swallow back my tears as I sat onto the couch to gather myself.
Taking a few more deep breaths I had to make a decision.
Should I just let it slide, wait for him and spend the rest of the night with him after he comes back from his fake dinner date with his ex, he slept with after leaving my house months ago?
Or should I just get up, go home and meet up with him as we planned; tomorrow for a few hours so everything would go as HE planned?
I couldn't believe the last evening fades by like this. It hurt but there was nothing I could do now. All I needed was for him to say, fuck it, and stay with me.
He didn't.
With my chest so tight, I barely could breath, I stood back up, walking towards the entrance door when I heard the door open and click closed.
I stood in place looking up to see Jared walking back into the living room.
"Fuck it! Fuck it all!" he hissed annoyed as he threw his keys onto the closest surface, making his way to me hugging me as he kissed me so deep and desperate my legs felt week.
I just hugged his neck around for support, kissing him back.
"Jared," I breathed between two kisses.
"You're right," he moaned. "I have to stop this; I can't give you this weight. And I fucking stop this. Hell, I give her my house, I don't fucking care, I can't do this to you. It's over. I don't wanna see her, I don't wanna talk to her; it's not worth it," shook his head. "You're my fucking everything, Avery. You have been for so long," he breathed to my lips.
I was shocked.
I looked up to him with wide eyes, tears rolling down my cheeks from... relief... happiness... disbelief. I don't even know.
"You never let me get bored on your side, will you?" I smiled caressing his hair as he chuckled shaking his head.
"You know my life is a chaos. Welcome back," he smiled pushing his forehead to mine.
"Thanks, you beautiful mess," I cupped his cheeks, looking up to him.
"I like that," he grinned sweetly, and I just laughed.
"So... now that my date is cancelled, I'll need food!" he sighed.
"Let's go out on a date with me," I grinned excited.
It just left my lips. It did and I loved the idea.
"Really? You... want to go out with me?" he asked stunned. "To public? In Los Angeles?
I just nodded with a hidden smile.
"Now that you won't meet with Valery, she will have questions... and I want to be the answer," I stated caressing his beard as I saw his eyes shine up.
"My girl, ladies and gents," he grinned slapping my ass playfully.
If people see us, if we end up on the internet, let it be.
He is leaving and I want to reassure my place in his life, and although it is scary as hell, I knew his life is being watched by thousands of people. And if I want to be in his life I have to accept to be watched. And this time not as the assistant int he shadows. Because if I am not seen, it's like I am not even in there.
And I want to be in there. More than anything.
My insecurities can't hold me back, because Jared loves me. And that is all that matters. For some reason he does, and I don't wanna question it. We just clicked and that is our story. No fancy dates, no awkward conversations. We go way back and at some point, we just clicked. It was so easy and so magical and people might not even care as I have always been there, anyway.