No no no no no
How could you have let that happen
You calculated everything, checked to make sure it was right at least 3 times. Made sure no one was going to be there when it happened.
5 casualties. 5 people dead and it was your fault. You had all the timing ready, the bombs set in place specifically so there wouldn't be any people around to be harmed. But there just happened to be a group of teenagers who wanted to explore the abandoned metro tunnel.
And now they were dead. Because of you, 5 teenagers were dead. As soon as you got back to the facility you ran to your room and locked yourself there, falling apart on the floor. You didn't even take your mission suit off, you just fell to the ground and cried, hating yourself for not being more careful. The world would hate you now. Everyone would. Steve, Tony, Natasha. And even Thor, your best friend for years.
Just the thought of it made you cry more. Ugly, snot filled tears that wouldn't stop. Your eyes were red and puffy but you didn't care. You were a murderer.
Suddenly an felt and arm around you. You jumped up and saw Thor next to you. You didn't hear him come in, and wondered how long he had been there
"T-thor" You stuttered, messily wiping the tears off your face
"(Y/n)" he said softly, standing up and holding your hands. You looked down at your fingers intertwined with his, and more tears smeared down your cheeks
"I-I killed them" you managed to say, choking on the last word
"It was an accident (y/n)" Thor assured you, but you shook your head
"I didn't calculate it right- I should have known Thor I-I-" the tears came again, harder this time. Thor wraped his strong arms around your whole body and you buried yourself in him. You cried and cried into his shirt, and he softly rubbed your back, whispering "it's ok" and "it's not your fault" into your ear
Once you had calmed down, you pulled away a little and wiped your face
"I'm so sorry" you sniffed
"You don't have to be (y/n). It was everyone's fault, we all should have been more careful. So stop blaming yourself. Things like this are going to happen sometimes, all we can do is do our best. And we did." He hugged you again and you sunk into it, appreciating it so much
"I- I should go shower" you said pointing over to your bathroom. Thor gave you a sad smile
"I will be in my sleeping quarters if you need me" he said, and you nodded at him
He turned around and opened the door, but right before he stepped out you stopped him
"Thank you, Thor. I really appreciate it" you said, and he turned around and gave you another smile
"Of course Lady (y/n)" he said and left you to shower and get change to go to bed. You still felt guilty about the whole thing, but you didn't feel alone anymore.