Once our breathing slowed, he turned me to face him. He was smiling big at me. His plump lips spreading beautifully over his perfect white teeth. He was breathtaking. He always was. But he was more beautiful now as a man than he ever was. His eyes searched my face, his smile still displayed proudly.
"What are you thinking about?" He asked.
"I want to know why."
He didn't seem to need an explanation, and his smile grew as his eyes squinted. "Because you're beautiful." he replied. "Not just on the surface..." He continued as his fingers traced the outline of my cheekbone then down the tip of my nose. "...but inside as well. You make me laugh, and any time I get a call or text from you, I get excited." He pulled his hand away and let out a breath, happiness still on his face. "You make me feel alive."
"And you figured this out all in one day?"
"Not in one day." He replied. "Just over all. All of my interactions with you have made me feel this way." He paused but I knew he wasn't done, so I waited for him to continue. "The night if the reunion, the day at the studio, this evening. Over the years, I have learned that it's not time that tells us how we really feel about someone or something. It's the intensity of it, the desire the fuels it."
When I searched his eyes I saw a passion sparking behind his words. It made me curious for more. "What fuels your desire Jin?"
"Happiness. The thought of never having to go through life alone. Having someone with me to share in all the triumphs, someone to give me strength through the bad."
"Happiness." I repeated making him smile again and pulling me close. "You get your fuel from happiness."
"I do. What fuels your desire?"
"I don't know."
"Sure you do." He smiled. I shrugged my shoulders without looking away. Biting my lips, I started to feel stupid for my answer. "Think about it." He continued. "Come on, close your eyes."
"Why?"
"Because it will help."
I sighed but listened, closing my eyes and resting my head againt the pillow. Jin started running his hand up and down my bare back, and he spoke softly, soothingly.
"Think about what makes you smile." He started. "Something that gets your heart pumping, the feeling you get from it. Think about what your future holds. What you see, who you see, what roles they play. Remember what it has been like to work where always dreamed of. Remember buying the house, remember your success. How does it make you feel?"
The irony of what he was saying, is that I wasn't exactly, 'happy' about any of it. I was sad that I left Jin so abruptly. I was sad that I didn't have my best friend by my side.
But then again, Yoongi became my best friend. He is the most important person in my life. With the job came opportunity and new people. New people meant Jimin and Namjoon. I felt myself start to smile, remembering the late nights we would have talking, and drinking. The teasing, the inside jokes, the nights I would wake up from the nightmares but I wasn't alone.
They were always there.
"My boys." I replied opening up my eyes to see him concentrating on me. "The loyalty I have to my boys is what fuels me. It may not fuel my desire, but it fuels my need to move forward, to do better."
"And your desire?"
"You, perhaps?"
"Yeah?"
He leaned forward and gave me a light kiss on my lips. "Well yeah." I said. "I don't think of Yoongi or Namjoon this way. I don't ever let Jimin dance his fingers across my naked skin the way you are right now." I teased with a raised eye brow. He smiled and kissed my bare arm then looked back at me.
"But you never let anyone else?"
"I never really thought about it." I shrugged honestly. "Like I said before, I wasn't celibate. But for something to fuel my desire...I don't think anyone has ever caused the kind of reaction out of me."
He nodded. "So, of what you know about me now, do you think your feelings are going to change about me?"
I grinned. "Definitely."
His eyes went wide and his smile fell. His brows came together in worry and his hand stopped moving over my back. "What?"
I snuggled closer to him so that my nose was tucked into his neck, and I kissed his skin softly. "I resented you for a long time." I explained. "My feelings may have never changed in my heart, but they did in my mind. I resented that I had to run from you. That I had to keep my distance. The dreams I had didn't help either. You were not someone I wanted to think about, and it made me resent you."
"And now?"
"Now..." I paused. "Now I can feel those thoughts changing. Changing fast, in fact. I don't think about you the same way anymore."
"How do you think about me?"
"I'm not sure yet." I said tightening my arms around him, and he returning the gesture. "I'm still figuring that part out."
||
Jin and I woke up with a jerk the next morning to loud banging on my bedroom door.
"Wake up you animals, Yoongi made breakfast!" Namjoon sang in an octave he should never try to hit again.
I groaned and turned my head to see Jin grinning sleepily. "What are you so smiley about?" I grumbled into the pillow.
He laughed softly before he moved hs head so he could look at me better, and opened his eyes. "They had to have heard you."
"Me??" I gasped, my eyes shooting open. "You were loud too!"
"Not nearly on the level as you, babe. You were reaching the high notes."
I softly pushed him making him laugh a little more, and closing his eyes. "You shush."
He wrapped his arm around me pulling our chests together. He nuzzled his forehead into my temple and hummed softly. "Is your door locked?"
"I think so."
"You think so?"
"Well I locked it last night."
"Okay good. Then they can't get to us. I want to lay here a little longer. I want to enjoy waking up to you."
"You didn't enjoy your wakeup call from Namjoonie?" I teased.
"No." he grumbled pulling me closer. "I had other plans for waking you up." As he spoke his hand started to move down my back, reminding me that I was very naked.
"Hmmmmm." I hummed. "Now I'm curious. Why don't you tell me what you had planned?"
He let out a low seductive chuckle and slowly moved over top of me, making me roll to my back. He planted a soft kiss on my collar bone, and spoke between kisses leading up to my jaw. "You, want me, to tell, you?"
I nodded eagerly. "Mhmm."
"I'll show you."
I was giggling, the kisses he was giving me tickling my neck. But when he pressed his pelvis down on my leg, I felt him hard as a damn rock, stopping my giggling right there. His lips and tongue were still kissing on the spot under my ear, and my body broke out into shivers. I skimmed the palms of my hands up his arm as I spoke. "So, show me."
Without further hesitation he knocked my knees open letting the tip of his cock line up with my, now wet, opening. I shuddered again as he teased me a little then suddenly pushing in. His thrust was slow, as to not hurt me, but firm to fill me full.
"Oh fuck!" I whimpered.
He started to pull his cock out of me, my inner walls spasming at the girth. His arms were now hooked under my shoulder blades, and his fingers curled over the top of them. He didn't stop kissing me. Instead he let his tongue participate more, the wet muscle curling against my skin before sucking particularly hard on a spot on my neck.
His hips started to move in a steady rhythm. I could already feel my body go on puns and needles, needing, wanting that orgasm.
"HELLO!" We heard from the door, which swung open and slammed against my wall.
Instead of pulling out, Jin thrusted into me hard keeping himself inside of me. The both of us turned to the door to see Namjoon standing there, his hands on his hips and a key hanging from his fingers.
"YOU HAVE A KEY???" I shouted.
"Don't get mad at me, Yoongi is the one with keys to every room." He huffed, rolling his eye.
This fucker...
"YOU BARGED IN!" I groaned trying to be mad. But Jin pushed into me more distracting me from my annoyance.
"Namjoon. You are going to need to wait." he breathed.
"Well hurry, after last night I'm surprised that she can even take another dicking from you."
"Oh my god." I breathed, both from Namjoon's vulgar words and Jin moving within me.
"Joon. We will be down in 5 minutes."
"Don't you lie to me." He replied.
"GET THE FUCK OUT!" I shouted hurling a pillow at him in high speed and hitting him square in the face.
He grumbled but turned around slamming the door shut behind him.
"I can't-"
I was about to say 'i cant believe he just walked in,' but Jin moved so that his torso was virtical and pulled my right leg to hook over his shoulder. It opened me up to him and he started to piston into me hard and fast.
Between both of our moans, the skin slapping noise, and the creaking of the bed, I'd be surprised if they boys down stairs couldn't hear us. There was a quick snap in my stomach, and Jin throbbed into me, his cum filling me to the brim.
Once we were both done, he stayed inside of me, but his head fell back, and his breath was coming out in pants.
He looked glorious.
Small drops of sweat dripped down his neck, and torso, and his broad shoulders only gave me ideas of 'sitting on my own throne.' Of course, I pushed those thoughts away as I patted his arm quick making him look down at me.
"We need to shower really quick."
He nodded. "You're right."
"I like the wake up." I smirked as he slowly pulled out of me.
"That wasn't even the real thing."
"I guess we will have to try again without interruption."
"Absolutely." he leaned down and kissed me quick on the lips before jumping off the bed. He held his hand out for me to help me get off the bed, and we made our way to the shower, being quick to clean ourselves up.
Once dressed, we walked downstairs to see Jimin and Hoseok sitting at our dining room table, a smirk across Jimin's face.
"Uh...when did you two get here?" I asked taking a seat next to Jimin, Jin sitting on the other side of me.
"About an hour ago." he replied taking a drink of his orange juice.
Yoongi walked in right after, he and Namjoon placing all the dishes down on the table. "So...." he started. "Thought you two were going to be friends first."
"That wasn't going to work out for me." Jin replied with a smile.
"And why not?" Namjoon asked.
"I don't see her as a friend." He simply replied, shrugging.
Everyone else in the room looked over at me, while Jin ignored them and helped himself to plate his food.
"Noona?" Yoongi asked.
Jin looked up to me, smirking as he took his first bite. I laughed at his smugness before looking back to the rest of them.
"It wasn't going to work for me either." I replied reaching for a piece of French toast.
The table was silent for only a moment as the information settled with everyone.
"Well I for one am so glad to have the group back together." Hobi smiled. "It feels like old times, only..."
"Only?" Jimin asked.
"You're here." he grinned making Jimin blush. He shoved him playfully making the rest of us laugh, before settling back into a comfortable atmosphere.
Occasionally Jin would place his hand on my knee and run his fingers or thumbs over my skin. He'd wink at me occasionally and call me 'babe' in front of everyone. The feeling I had about it was not what I expected.
I thought it would feel weird.
Jin never called me sweet pet names, other than 'Noona."
He never touched me affectionately this way.
He never gave me flirty eyes or winked in my direction.
But as he was doing it now, it didn't feel weird.
It wasn't strange.
It felt right.
It felt as if it was supposed to be this way.
But not before.
I finally understood what Jin was saying last night.
We could never be this way if we had a friendship like we did before. It would be weird; it would be strange if it was like it used to be.
I caught his eye and smiled to him giving him a wink myself, before reaching over to hold his hand under the table.
It took a moment, but as I sat there with all my friends, a realization him me.
I slept through the night.
I didn't wake up once.
Not a single dream disturbing me.