Axel's POV
This first drink had been a mistake... and maybe so was the second and forth. "You're damn lucky to have me," Abby had said yesterday as she drove me back home.
I thought that would be the worst repercussion for getting intoxicated after work. After seeing the inflamed lash marks on Hazel this morning though, I realized just how wrong I had been thinking Abby's reprimanding was my punishment for my irresponsible drinking.
No, I don't really like Hazel. I think it's the way that she plays so innocent when I know deep down she's probably a little brat. That doesn't mean that she deserves to be brutally punished because of my drunken state though.
"Do you think they looked bad?" I ask Abby worriedly as she drives us home from a long day of work.
"What looks bad?" I'm grateful she isn't mad at me anymore. She hadn't been pleased when she found out just how much I had drank.
"The...marks." I think back to the irritated lash marks on Hazel. To be honest, I don't know what I had been thinking. I know she's fragile and that it was a bad thing for me to train her while Intoxicated.
"Her cheek?" She asks me, sending redness to my face as I remember the laps in my judgment when I had struck her for trying to drink her bath water.
"Never mind." I don't want to point out how bad of a job I have done with Hazel so far.
"I'm sure she'll be fine and her cheek will heal. I'd just try not to slap her or whatever and let it heal," Abby says, still thinking I am talking about the bruise on Hazel's cheek.
She is right, I am concerned about that too, more so because it just shows me how much I need to work in my training skills and less that it hurt her.
She didn't really deserve to be hit, but Abby is right and it's just a bruise. I'm sure Hazel has gotten much worse.
I am currently concerned with the flog marks though. It was also a defining moment, showing me my poor dom skills. Seeing the marks on her this morning twisted my stomach.
As much as I try not to think about it, I know the marks caused her pain, pain she didn't really earn.
I think that's why it bugs me so much, most of the injuries she has sustained at my hand haven't been fully deserved. It's so irritating to always be the one in the wrong.
That's probably why it bugs me, she should be the one in the wrong. Not me, I'm the dominant, the infallibly one. At the moment though, I'm not.
She isn't rubbing it in my face and she hasn't said anything, but I know I'm the one who is wrong. I don't like it.
It peeves me so much because I know she isn't as sweet and innocent as she plays. If she would just let out her true nature already, I could take care of it and then my punishment would be warranted.
Even as I push the blame onto Hazel, I can't stop my stomach from twisting at the memory of the inflamed marks. She is so petite, she is like a little doll. "She's small," I say absentmindedly, thinking of Hazel and how she could fit inside that teeny tiny cage.
"She grew up at the facility. She probably never got much to eat." Abby shrugs and I nod. I don't think I could fit in a cage even three times the side of the one she fits in.
"Do you think she's mad at me?" I ask Abby, starting to worry that Hazel will be angry for the marks I left on her. I don't know why I'm worried, I should be excited for her anger.
If she is mad, then her punishment would be warranted and she won't be the 'little Miss Perfect'.
With teaching her to stand and walk, I do have to worry about her running away though which is annoying. I've heard of too many dominants buying a sub and them running away.
My house is too far out in the boondocks for her to get anywhere, especially, in the snowy weather. She's probably too stupid to even think about that though. Even if she didn't make it anywhere, she'd die out here and that would be just as much of a waste of money for me.
Yeah, that was why I was worried about Hazel being upset.
I didn't want her to run away.
"Hazel? Mad at you? I don't think so. She's probably embarrassed you had to punish her." I shift in my seat uncomfortably, trying not to think about my not so fair or patient training last night.
"I just don't want her to run away," I say to Abby unnecessarily, feeling the need to defend my concern for her. It's not that I actually care how she feels, I just need her to stay.
I only need Hazel around to practice training on. I'm a strong dominant, I don't need a sub. I'm perfectly happy with just me and Blue. I don't need Hazel no matter how pretty or adorable she is.
Hazel needs me, not the other way around. I'm probably not keeping her, I only need her to train. My concern is only because I need to use her to practice...
Even as I think it, I don't believe what I tell myself. I shake it off, everything I'm saying is true.
I have my cat and myself and that's all I need.
Hazel is temporary in our life. Once we are done and have gotten what we need, we can just sell her to another dominant or something.
If she can walk, maybe someone will want her.
Hazel won't care, or at least she shouldn't. I saved her life, even if it only keeps her from the breeding facility for a few months, she should be thankful.
That was a few months she never would have gotten anyway else.
If Abby can see through my words, she doesn't say anything about it.
She does voice her skepticism about Hazel's great escape however. "She can barely even crawl, Axel." Abby rolls her eyes. "I don't know how much running you think she's capable of."
"She could run if she really wanted to. I'm teaching her how to stand again." If she could learn to stand, she could learn to walk, which means she could eventually learn to run.
Run away from me.
"You're teaching her to stand?" Abby asks me, clearly skeptical.
"She's doing pretty well, but she's... slow." My intoxicated teaching hadn't been the best, I was more impatient that normal, but Hazel was still a slow learner.
"She's Slow? Well, she hasn't walked in what? Nine years? It's gonna take a bit for her to build up her strength. Was this one of those things where it sounded like a good idea when you were drunk?" I scowl at her.
"Teaching her to stand?"
"You know she can't, Axel."
"She can. With help she can. She'll build up her strength." I want to say I don't know what spurred my determination to teach her to be fully functional again, but the truth is I know exactly why. I absolutely hate having a useless submissive. I feel the need to fix her, make her useful.
I can't do that without her being able to walk or at least stand. Even if I don't keep her, her being able to walk with make it so that I can sell her for more than I bought her for.
"She'll need more nutrients than what is in the little water packets," Abby says I shrug her off.
"It's not that strenuous to stand. She'll be fine," I say dismissively as Abby pulls up in front of my house.
Just as promised, I'm back early. I feel content as I get out of Abby's car and head towards the front door.
I don't really feel like taking care of Hazel at the moment, after such a long day of work, I really just want to cuddle with Blue. "Blue, I'm home," I call, knowing my faithful cat will come running to me.
Just as I knew would happen, after a meow, Blue rounds the corner of the living room and bounds toward me. "Hello, my sweet baby girl!" I scoop Blue into my arms. She purrs loudly, rubbing against my fingers as I pet her tiny head.
"Master?" My mood deflates a little. Can't she just let me and Blue have a moment together?
"I'm back." I carry Blue as I unlatch Hazel's cage.
"Help?" She begs, urgency in her voice. I scowl and begrudgingly set down Blue, picking Hazel up instead.
"I don't waste time trying to teach you to stand, so that I have to do this every day, Hazel," I reprimand.
"I'm sorry, Master," she squeaks out as I set her down in the bathroom. I don't even wait for her to get situated before I turn around and leave her.
She's a big enough girl to go the the bathroom her self.
I go to search for Blue, seeming her company. When I find her, she is in Hazel's cage, sniffing around.
"Blue," I reprimand softly. She just meows and lets me pull her from the cage. I sit on the sofa, Blue in my hand as I pet her. I lean back, relaxing back against the sofa, enjoying the quietness of the house. Blue licks my fingers gently and I lift her up and kiss her head.
I grind my teeth as I hear the floor boards in the hallway creaking. Can't I just have a moment alone with my cat?
I set down Blue with a huff and head into the kitchen. "Come eat," I snap at Hazel, pouring the packet of nutrients into her water dish, not even bothering to stir or mix it.
I don't even wait for Hazel to come before I go get Blue and head towards our room.
Hazel is panting, leaning against the hallway wall.
Pathetic.
She can't even crawl across the house in one go.
"Go eat," I tell her, not waiting for a response before I head into my room. I let out a big sigh, flopping down on the bed. Blue jumps up next to me and comes and curls up on my chest.
I close my eyes and finally let out my stress from the day. Blue warms my chest and I pet her in silence.
I'll take care of Hazel later.
—————
When my eyes crack open, I immediately look in search of my alarm clock.
9:00 am.
Thank God it's Saturday.
In the middle of the night, Blue moved off my chest to sleep on my pillow as I stayed sleeping halfway on the bed.
I grumble at Blue, sitting up, gently rocking the bed. I groan, stretching out the kink in my neck.
I look around my room and yawn, an odd feeling washing over me.
It's almost like I forgot... Hazel.
I jump up, heading towards my bedroom door immediately. I rush down the hall, not worrying about the crunching of the floor boards scaring her.
I never locked her in her cage last night. She could have run away during the night or something.
My tense shoulders sag in relief when I see her cage door closed with her curled up in it. I go closer, seeing her up close to calm my nerves from leaving her alone all night without locking her up.
I pause a foot away, examining her face. Just as Abby had pointed out, she was beautiful. I won't ever tell her, but it is true.
I crouch down, my knees popping as I examine her face closer. The bruise on her face is slowly fading, but what disturbs me more is the blatant tears stains on her cheek.
"Hazel," I call softly, sick with guilt. I hadn't meant to just go to bed last night after feeding her.
I know I had promised that I would tend to her lash marks and I never did. I lied to her.
"Hazel." I unlatching her unlocked cage. She doesn't jump away like usual, she just looks around tiredly. "Come out, girl." I rub my fingers together like I do with Blue when I want her to come to me so I can pet her.
"M-Master?" Hazel croaks out, obediently crawling towards me. Her bones crack and pop and I pull her into my lap, petting her head and back.
"Good girl," I praise her, so grateful she didn't run away or do anything stupid. She doesn't ask me anything, she instead just stays leaned against me, soaking up my heat and affection. "Good girl," I repeat quietly.
My fingers massage the back of her head for a second before I remember my large hands are probably hurting her, tangling and yanking her hair. A soft moan leaves her lips though and I look down at her, pausing my actions at the sound, having not expected that reaction.
Hazel's eyes are closed and her head is reclined back into my hand. She pouts when I stop massaging, so I experimentally continue.
The second I start to massage again, she lets out more moans. Her body starts to tremble and she lets out a whine of pleasure as I continue to massage there. "Does that feel good, Hazel?" I ask her teasingly, a soft smile across my face.
I hadn't meant to pleasure her, but I am so proud of myself that I'm not hurting her by doing this. I carefully massage the back of her head and she goes slack in my arms, making me chuckle.
I've heard of people who had certain spots on their body that made them very vulnerable. I just never expected to find someone's 'spot'.
I stop my massaging and watch Hazel's reaction. She opens her eyes and looks up at me with the biggest pout.
I can't help but chuckle at her, she turns into my chest, sitting in my lap and straddling me. Her arms wrap around me and I freeze, not having expected her to hug me.
She nuzzles into my neck affectionately and I snap back into it, putting one of my hands on her lower back. I rub circles on her back and she lets out another content sigh. When I get to a certain place on her back though, she stiffens in my arms, her whole body tensing up.
"Hazel?" I question, wondering what I did to hurt her.
"I...it's nothing." Hazel's body relaxes a bit. She lays her head back down on my shoulder and I try to decide if I want to pry or not.
I let it go and continue to trace patterns along her back as she hugs me.
Her breath is hot across my neck. Her small arms wrapped around my neck is foreign to me. Only my mother has hugged me like this before.
I don't want to, but a part of me —large part— loves this. Loves Hazel in my lap, hugging me as I rub her back. Her touch feels almost electric, tingly. It must be because I'm so used to only having Blue around.
As much as I tell myself that I only need Blue, I'm actually very lonely. I miss having human interaction, intimacy with another person.
Hazel never relaxes in my lap again like she had been, no matter how long I spend rubbing her back she stays tense. My enjoyment slowly slips away because I can tell it's becoming just for my pleasure. And as much as I say that's fine with me, I get considerably less enjoyment knowing that she isn't liking it.
"Come on, Hazel. You need a bath and I need to look at your marks." I sigh, gentle setting her off my lap. She puts her arms up to me like a small child would, a pout on her lips. "Up," I command, holding my hand out to her.
Her pout stays, but she reaches up and places her tiny hand in mine. Her touch is so unfamiliar it makes my heart jump in my chest.
With shaky hands she squeezes on tightly, trying to use some of her arm strength to pull her up to a standing position. She gets her good foot under her and hunches over, not having enough strength in that quad to just stand up straight.
She's panting already, exhausted from what I've asked. She lets out a whine, nearly falling over as she finally is able to use my hand to stead herself and pull herself up.
She looks to me for instruction. I told her to stand and she did.
"Good girl." I scoop her up in my arms easily. A smile breaks across her face and I'm unsure if it is because she is happy that I complied to her wish, or that I praised her for her accomplishment.
Either way, I owe her a bath and some medical care.
Even though I'm doing it now, guilt still nips at me. I promised I'd do it last night and I didn't. She didn't say it upset her and she certainly didn't show it, but from her tear stained face this morning, I can tell I hurt her.
I'd be hurt too though if someone promised they'd take care of me and then never did. She had every right to be upset, but she wasn't.
Perhaps she wasn't as bratty as I though.