𝐖𝐞𝐥𝐥, 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐩𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐨𝐨𝐦 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐚𝐬 𝐇𝐚𝐣𝐫𝐚 𝐬𝐚𝐢𝐝... 𝐋𝐎𝐋. 𝐇𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐟𝐮𝐥𝐥𝐲, 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐰𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐬.
𝐀𝐥𝐬𝐨, 𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐜𝐡 𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐬 𝐝𝐢𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐠𝐮𝐲𝐬 𝐩𝐢𝐜𝐤 𝐨𝐧 𝐨𝐫 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐜𝐡 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞... 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐝𝐞𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐲 𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐝.
❤ᗪO ᐯOTE ᗩᑎᗪ ᑕOᗰᗰEᑎT, ᑭᒪEᗩᔕE ❤
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"Marry Me"
They were lying on the blanket enjoying the last few hours of the sun. She turned around, propping herself on her elbow. He had picked her up on his way back from his soccer practice. His hair was still wet from the shower, brown hair tempered from the side, a blond mess in the middle flopping over his forehead. His obsession with Ronaldo highlights was still intact from high school, even now in college. God, he looked like a joker, but she loved her joker. Maybe in the purest form. Maybe a little too much.
His eyes fluttered open, those few crowning rays of sun shining in his brown eyes. A reflection of honey whirled amongst coffee. Sometimes it was surreal how breathtaking he was.
"Marry you? WHAT!" His eyes furrowed, staring into her daring gaze as if she was crazy.
"You don't want to?"
"What? No! I mean yes." He shook his head to clear his thought process. "I want to, but you barely turned eighteen. You have the whole future in front of you to conquer. You have to build sustainable crazy buildings across the world. I have yet to figure out. What the hell am I supposed to do? I don't even have a job. Also, not to forget your brothers, they are going to cut me in pieces, feed me to stray dogs. Let's not even talk about your father."
"Z." So much she wanted to tell him. Yearning to spill her guts, tell him how that barbarian found every moment to touch her disgustingly. That she put tables and chairs against her door at night, but even then she could hardly find sleep.
"I do. I want to so bad, but things are not in our favor yet."
"If you can't do it, just say so." She whispered, disheartened by his reply.
"What?" He sat up, staring at her all confused.
"I don't want to force you, Z. But I do want to get married at this point. So if you're not ready that's completely fine. I understand it and I respect your choices. I promise. If this is something you can't seem to do it. I will never hold it against you, but you need to give me that same respect and choice. I need to do this for me right now."
"What the..." He was at a loss of words. His voice went an octave higher. Not believing what she said a few seconds ago. "How could you say all that with so much ease, damn it."
"I-" damn her. She wanted to explain yet nothing could leave her.
"Look at me." He pulled her up. Putting his fingers under her chin, he turned her face his way. "There is something else going on, isn't it?"
"It's nothing."
It was more than nothing. It was everything. Her whole life was at risk. She needed to save herself without causing damage to people around her. She needed to save whatever was left of her, save her dignity, her respect, and her honor. She needed to find a way to leave her room and find her solace in Zach's touch and safety in his room. She needed to wash away the filthy touch of that fiend.
Part of her felt selfish for the reason of this marriage but there were to do it one day anyways so why not when she needed it the most. Maybe if Zachary's name was attached with her then that monster would stay away from her. He wouldn't touch Zach's wife. He wouldn't dare to cross Zach. Zach's anger was deadly just as much as his heart was soft. He was made of contradictions and the anger was worst of his traits. But what if he said no? She gulped.
When Asfandyar put his foot on Hafeez Mirza's throat, he didn't dare to touch her again for months but then Lala was gone, snatched away from her. Her mother stood to save her, teaching her to be strong, but the trauma was too strong to ever build courage on. Knowing that, her mother never left her side, but her fate was so ominous. Her mother was taken from her. Leaving her vulnerable and in the hand of the devil.
Kabir was too distraught, lost, and depressed to even know what was going on in his surroundings. Hafeez Mirza found his way crystal and clear. The devil had free reign over her. She needed to do something before he completely wrecked her and got his filthy hands on her. Marrying Zach was her only option. If she took off alone he would find her. He was thirsty for revenge and obsessed with her.
This decision of hers was ridiculous. It was not rational. It didn't make sense to her but it felt right. He was her shield. Always had been. He would protect her, she knew it. He had promised her mother and Zach kept his promises.
"Ayla!"
"Huh?"
"Marry Me, Zachary!" She whispered, holding his hands, finding her courage in them. "I need you to marry me and take me away from here. Nobody has to know. Just do it for me. Even my brothers won't find out. I need to do this for me. If you want to go be with someone else later in life, you can go ahead. You don't even have to ask me. You don't even have to register this marriage. I really need you right now, Z. I swear I do."
"Are you fucking stupid or what?" He yelled at her for saying all those words just like that. He clenched his teeth, his jaw tightened. "I love you so fucking much that it's insane. It scares the shit out of me that I'm so in love with you. I don't think I have ever known anything apart from having you here, loving you, being with you. And that's fucking terrifying because if someday you decided that I'm not worthy of your love, I think I'll lose my mind, my sanity, and my life. You're my salvation, Ayla. There could never be another woman or another salvation for me. You are embedded in my soul and that is damn scary because if you left me like this, there would be nothing left of me. So yes I will marry you whether it's ten years later or right now. I don't care because it's always going to be you. We'll be like this till the end of this world and beyond, in love beyond the limits of this fickle of a universe. Anything for you Sunshine, so yeah let's get married then."
And just like that he blindly took his heart out, putting in her hands full of thorns.
/////
She held on to the railing of the roof, closing her eyes. She breathed in the fresh air. The warm rays of the sun kissed her bare face. Morning mist swirled around her, soothing her nerves a bit. She could almost taste the nervous breakdown. The triggers were building up so much only to create a domino effect when everything started to fall apart.
"Ayla,"
"It's not you, okay?" She turned around, he was standing there sullen and confused. Locking arms behind his nape, she leaned forward, putting her face in the crook of his neck. His arms coiled around her waist. She swayed in his arms to the music of birds. "Where are we?
She looked over his shoulder to the mountains that were covered in snow yet were basking in the glory of the sun. The town finally waking up to the warmth of the sun as the birds sang.
"This is your mother's house."
"No," She whispered as she moved her head, looking at him with wide eyes. He nodded.
"Remember you wanted to come here." How could he remember so much about her while she seemed to have locked away those memories? It was as if he remembered who Ayla was while she lost and forgot herself. He was making her come to life again. Reminding her who she was supposed to be. "Go look around like you always wanted to."
"Thank you!" She left a fleeting kiss on his lips and went running down the stairs.
She was hiding something. He knew it with as assurance as he was about his existence. He could feel it in his guts. Also, the way she pulled the sleeves almost to the tips of fingers every time something of their past was mentioned. That was her nervous habit or when she lied.
He pulled the cigarette pack from his jacked, plucking a stick from it. Swallowing down the cloud of toxic smoke, he stayed sane. The chemicals mixed in his body, soothing the urges to smash and crash everything around him.
The phone vibrated, he flashed his eyes at the screen. His eyes darkened with the anger he was using the nicotine for. The same damn person with more bone-chilling information. At first, he thought it was a joke, but this person behind these messages seemed to know things that few around him knew.
/////
The house was small, merely consisted of two bedrooms, a small kitchen, and a bathroom. Like all traditional houses she had seen around the town, this one also had a courtyard that spaced out in front of the two rooms.
She touched the walls, the windows and walked through the rooms and then the kitchen. As if she could feel her mother's touch or hear her laughter echoing through the house. The house was rather empty, not even a piece of furniture there, but she could sense her mother somewhere around her. Enveloping her in the warmth of her love and courage she always needed.
Part of her wished she could turn the hands of the clock to go back in time to see her mother alive, young, and happy. The woman who was carefree before her love for Sultan Khan destroyed her. Her heart ached for the woman who was trapped in the labyrinth of love for a man who didn't even have a heart. She walked through the courtyard where her mother's laughter perhaps echoed once.
Mama, I hope you're happy wherever you are.
Standing the middle of the courtyard she looked up to the sky. Her eyes fell on him. He was leaning forward on the railing, watching her with sleep laden eyes. That once blond mess of hair was now natural brown mop of hair on his forehead, almost falling in his eyes. His lips curved in a half-smile, sending shivers down her spine. The heat rushed to her cheeks as she looked away. God, he was making her feel like a teenager falling in love for the first time.
Climbing up the flight of the stairs, her lips moved with a full and heartwarming smile. She hummed with each step as if she had gotten her wings back, vibrant green hair flowing with the chilly wind. Duppatta trailing behind her, she was at the pinnacle of her happiness.
"Z." She called out as she was on the roof again.
"Here." He held her hand, spinning her in his arms, her musical laugh echoed, mixing with the melodies of the singing birds. "I'm so happy today." She breathed between her laugh.
As if her happiness was merely waiting for her to say the words to prove her wrong. He pulled her closer. She closed her eyes to take in the scent of his but froze as instead her senses were intoxicated with the acrid, smoky smell that mixed with his scent. Her hands fisted in his shirt as the smell started to flash the light on her past.
Her mind started to piece together that night again. Her heart struggled to pulsate, her chest tightened, muscles cramping in her legs. With each second, her mind was losing her sanity piece by piece, to the point that she forgot where she was, whose arms were around her.
"Ayla?" She recognized the voice. It was familiar. She knew it, but she couldn't pinpoint it. Who was it? "Hey?"
Those arms held her shaking body. She must have been crying because her hands were went. Drops were flowing on her face, down her neck. The arms tightened around her. Oh, God! She couldn't breathe. Her breath was getting suffocated. It was stuck somewhere within her/ The bitter and burning smell was strangling her airway. She needed the arms off from her. She thrashed against the hold.
"Let me go!" She pushed him. Oh God, it was him. He was alive. She could smell him. She needed to run before he could pin her down again and start burning her shoulders again. "LET ME GO! You fucking psycho!"
She broke through the arms, flying down the stairs. Skipping two at a time, she slipped down the last falling on her knees. Wincing, she pulled herself up running to one of the rooms. Locking it, she turned all the lights off, hiding in the dark corner behind the door. She curled up, rocking herself on the ice-cold ground.
You're safe. She rocked herself again. She rubbed her eyes with the heels of her palm, hot tears stinging her eyes. The cold was making her shiver, seeping through the fabric pajamas. She heard footsteps. Her breath hiked, looking around frantically. He is here. No. No, please. Her body was freezing with fear. Her screams for help were stuck in her throat. She could make out the words, but no sound was coming out of her mouth. She retaliated against the constriction, but the words stayed confined within, never making it through her lips, yet again.
"Ayla!" There was a soft voice from the other side of the door. It was softer. She knew that voice. She looked up from the floor slightly, still warry of the person on the other side. "Sunshine."
Sunshine... Sunshine... Sunshine...
She chanted the words, repeating it to herself, reminding herself. She knew that word. Her mind rattled through the fog. She knew the voice that called her sunshine. Zach. Her eyes widened. He was back. He was here. He was going to take her away.
"Z." She dashed for the door. There he was. Her tears stricken face calmed a little as she madly stared at him in disbelief. She lurched into his arms, holding on to him with broken pieces of her strength. He didn't say anything, holding her as they sat on the floor against the door. She stayed in his lap, curled into his arms.
Even if he did have words he would've stayed mute. His brain was putting pieces together, but his heart was in denial. He let his heart refuse, letting his denial win him over. Or that maybe it was his defense mechanism to stay breathing. Because if he so much as accepted that what happened to his best friend also happened to his wife. He'd fucking go ballistic, lose his sanity or even just kill himself.
But for how long was he going to be in denial. He'd seen the cases, fought cases in court and seen the relapses in court. He knew the symptoms of certain PTSD like the back of his hand. NO. It couldn't be. No way. It was his Ayla. The one he was to protect and keep her safe from all the bad things. He swore to protect her. She needed to be okay. No, she had to be okay, otherwise, his world was going to be destroyed as it was barely held together by a thread of sanity.
She had fallen asleep in his arms between her broken sobs. Holding onto his shirt like a baby, afraid of him disappearing again. Her hands were sore, but she still tightened it around his shirt. Between her spells of slumber, she thrashed against him again, writhing in pain.
"It's me." He quietly said. She fluttered open her eyes, staring at him with coldness pooled in her red eyes. "It's just me, Sunshine." He slid around her waist, behind her back, under her shirt, rubbing her stiff shoulder blades. Her skin was uneven under his touch, his body went rigid. It was riddled with jagged scars. He tried not to think about it, kept his mind away from their past.
"Tell me, Ayla, before I lose it all with these assumptions and go insane." He whispered, begging for her mercy. Tracing her marred skin, his hands trembled. She tried to get up, but he held her closer, not even leaving the space for air to pass through. "Please." He whimpered as if feeling her pain in his veins. She swallowed the lump in her throat, calculating the outcome of her truth, trying to find ways to corroborate with what she told her brothers.
"Can you keep doing that please." Her quiet voice slightly hoarse from all that crying. he merely nodded as he grazed his hand across the razed skin of her shoulder blades.
"He..." She tightened her hold on his forearm, digging nails in his skin, but couldn't care any less about his pain. He just wanted to take the pain away from his wife. "He tried to touch me" It was if the world just crashed on his shoulder and everything within him went quiet. The quiet before a storm that wrecked the roots of whatever came in its way. "But I killed him. I stabbed him twenty-six times. I killed him. I watched him die as he suffered and flailed with pain, but I just watched." She was telling him the truth but only half because she knew the other half would be deadlier than what it had done to her. "Z, Look at me, damn it." She held his face, making him stare into her eyes. "He is dead, Wallahi. Say something."
"You shouldn't have killed him before letting me strangle him and cut his filthy hands off. I'm going to dig his fucking remains and burn them. He doesn't deserve to have place on this earth even if it's six feet under." He was not listening to her anymore. She needed to do something before he was the one to burn in all this.
"You won't do anything or you'll lose me again."
"NO! YOU CAN'T DO THIS ME." He yelled at her.
"Z. You promised me to stay alive and I need you to be alive so no you won't do anything."
"AYLA!"
"Please. I need to let go of my pain. Not live it again."
He couldn't say anything more. He was tied by her words, but those messages. Who was that person? The person seemed to know everything about them. He wanted to ask her, but he didn't want to scare her more.
/////
They stayed there for a few more moments as she bid her goodbye to her mother's home, and then the drive back home was much more sullen. He held her hand, afraid of letting it go. Scared that someone was going to hurt her again.
"Z."
"Go, I promise I won't do anything reckless." He dropped her at the end of the Orange groves. She kissed his cheek, grazing his jaw once more before leaving the car.
Zachary
I need to talk to you
Now. Please
Noor
New phone! Who dis?
Zachary
Rabail Noor!
I'm losing my fucking mind.
I swear, please.
Rabail
Be there in few.🙄
"What is it? I left my whole ass plate of Kebabs for you." She burst through the doors of his room as he paced around. He couldn't talk to Asfandyar. There was no way he could handle something like that about this sister. Noor was his option otherwise he would go crazy.
"Something is wrong." His heart was pounding with fear. "Something is wrong, Noor. Something happened, but she won't tell me. She won't even tell me what's hurting her. Someone tried to hurt her and she won't tell me the truth."
"Zach!" She yelled at him, stopping his rambling. "Look at me, what happened?"
"Ayla had PTSD episode, but she won't even tell me the truth."
"This is exactly why she won't tell you. Stop, take a breath." She made him sit down. "She doesn't need more strain that she has already. Maybe she didn't tell you because she is not ready yet. Give her time. Asfandyar and I didn't understand each other for long, there were so many things still unsaid, and hell we were even married and still holding things to ourself. So it takes time. You have barely reconnected after years, give her space to be comfortable with that idea."
"But-"
"Whatever happened in her past, happened already. You freaking out or going cuckoo in the head is not going to help her. It's only going to make it worse. Give her time and space to let her tell her own story. Until then be someone who can help her heal rather than becoming a baby." She smacked him on his head.
/////
They were packing lightly for their trip to Zarmina's hometown. She zipped up the bag, still exhausted from what had happened earlier in the day. She was putting away the bag when a kid came and gave her an envelope saying it was for her. She furrowed her eyebrows and peeled it open.
"OH GOD!" Her steps faltered and she staggered back on the bed, the contents of envelope falling from her hand.
There were photos scattered around her. Photos of Zach and her from earlier in the day. They were being followed. That was least scary for compared to the blood marks on Zach's face in the photos. His face was all marked with a red cross.