It wasn't as bad as he had thought. Alright, Theo had actually enjoyed the whole evening. He didn't know why or how but somehow he adored Quentin's family more and more after each visit. That big, loud family who he felt more comfortable with than ever at his own home.
And fuck, he would be lying if he said that Quentin meant nothing to him. He hadn't even realized how much until he left home yesterday and Quentin continued to be with Amanda. It was stupid to be jealous but he couldn't help it.
There was nothing wrong with Amanda, she was actually a pretty funny girl who was much more tolerable than most of the girls at their school. Despite that, he couldn't help but wish for her to disappear so that he was alone with Quentin, on his bed watching his favorite movie.
Yes, he could see the excitement and joy and many other feelings on his face as he watched a movie that he didn't only have as a book on his bookshelf but what he had also watched probably at least a hundred times. Theo had started to pay a lot of attention to Quentin and his likes and dislikes. What did that say about him?
Quoting millions of romance books, he had never felt like this. And now he had no idea what to do with that information. Should he say something? Move on and pretend that Quentin was just a friend of his cousin? No, that meant that he wouldn't have him in his life, at least not the way he wanted him to be.
"Amanda is there!" Quentin said, pointing a familiar girl sitting at the table close to the coffee shop's door. Apparently, she had gotten a drink for herself while waiting for them to finish their work shifts that were once again at the same time on a Saturday morning from 7am to 3pm.
"Hey! Did you have a nice day? Can we just sit here until I'm done with my drink?" Amanda asked and of course, Quentin already agreed before Theo could say anything.
Rolling his eyes, Theo sat down next to them and took his phone to send a 'have a good day at work' message to his mother who had probably just left to work an hour ago.
Once again, she was working at the hospital but fortunately didn't have a double shift this time. Things were great between the two of them. Of course their relationship wasn't similar to what Quentin had with his mother but that wasn't a bad thing.
They had done a lot of things together now that his father had left but cooking was something they both had started to love even more when they were together in the kitchen after a long day at work. If there was one thing he would criticize it would be the lack of communication.
Yes, they talked a lot but most of the time it was what some people called pointless small talk. They didn't really have any of those deep conversations that he could only have with his mother about feelings and future and so on.
Honestly, lately Theo had been so unsure about everything and not just about his father. He had no idea what he wanted to do in the future and that didn't only mean his sexuality but also what he wanted to do in the future professionally.
All of his life he had thought that his dream was to be a professional basketball player, that was all he had ever wished for. He still loved basketball but he was unsure if that's what he wanted to do for the rest of his life.
He had even started to question if this was what he really wanted to do. What if there was something else he would like more? How would he know if he never tried anything else? What if he simply wasn't good enough to get a scholarship that he had dreamed to get since he was just twelve?
Something had changed, he was a lot more insecure than before, and it all began before his father even left. Hell, he hadn't been mentioned after the day he left and Theo wasn't sure if that was a good thing or not. It was like they really pretended that he never existed in their lives.
Theo knew that his mother didn't want to talk about a man who had an affair with another woman for a year before leaving them. Even though there was nothing good about that man, he felt like he needed to talk about him. He didn't want to do it but he knew that it was needed, otherwise he would never get rid of all these questions and feelings like his mother had managed to do.
If he couldn't talk about him with her, then who? The sad thing was that as he thought about the answer he realized that he didn't really have anyone else. Sure, he could probably talk with Isaac and his parents, they were relatives after all, but he didn't feel comfortable enough to do that. And he didn't have any grandparents left.
For the fìrst time in his life, Theo felt like he was all alone. Despite knowing a lot of people in school, no one was close enough for a conversation that didn't have something to do with basketball, girls or alcohol. Unless... no, not him. Definitely not him. Things were already too strange with Quentin and this would only make it more complicated.
I truly have no one, his mind reminded him but Theo shook his head and blinked a couple of times to get rid of the wetness in his eyes. Then he turned to look at Quentin and Amanda who were already deep in the conversation, luckily not realizing that he hadn't listened a word.
"I'm ready now, let's go," Amanda said and got up, already starting to walk towards the door. Theo followed her but not before seeing Quentin's worried eyes while he mouthed "are you okay?" Theo ignored him, instead, he went to talk about their movie marathon with Amanda who loved those three movies almost as much as Quentin.
🍁🍁🍁
A few hours later after they finished the second movie and Amanda went somewhere to play with Quentin's siblings and Theo was alone with Quentin in his room.
"How is your Mom?" Quentin asked when neither had said anything for many minutes. He was sitting in a chair next to the bed where Theo was once again laying. He had seen the way those blue eyes kept staring at him all day as if he was waiting for him to break down any minute and Theo hated it.
"Good, she's at work now."
"And you? How are you feeling about... everything?" Goddamit wasn't he getting the hint that he wouldn't open up to him like Quentin so desperately seemed to hope!
"I'm fine, thank you. How about you?" he said, being overly friendly on purpose because he knew it would piss him off and he was right.
"Stop that! I just want you to know that whatever you've been thinking so much today you can talk to me about it." His words almost made him talk. Almost. He had been all of his life without needing to open up to anyone and he wouldn't start with some ginger-haired weirdo no matter how much he wanted to do it.
"To be honest, I'm a little worried about college. I've talked with my friends and parents about this but they all say that I don't have to worry. I still do, though. What if I don't get in?" Quentin continued talking once he realized that he wouldn't say a word. Unfortunately, that awoke Theo's curiosity and he wanted to hear more.
"What are you planning to study? Teaching like Bree?" Theo asked smirking, imagining a few years older Quentin behind the desk, teaching annoying teenagers like his mother did, maybe even in the same school.
"No, I'll go to check if I have any talent in photography," Quentin said, frowning a little bit which showed Theo that he was more worried than what he wanted to show. He didn't understand why, though. He knew that Quentin was an excellent photographer despite not having seen many of his photos.
Even though he had his own nerves killing him, he tried to comfort Quentin who didn't look good while frowning. "I'm sure you're gonna be fine. Stressing and overthinking won't do any good."
Quentin smiled but said nothing. Instead, he kept staring at him in the eyes without blinking and suddenly Theo was unable to look away. Fuck, those blue eyes always reminded him of the cloudless summer sky on a sunny day. They were hands down one of the prettiest parts of him.
"What are you looking at?" Quentin asked, now whispering for some reason. He didn't know why but there was something about being completely alone in his room, so close to each other that he could actually feel the tension in the air. And god, it was too overwhelming.
He knew that and also the fact that Quentin felt that too. It was just a matter of seconds until either one made the first move but the question was, who's gonna do it? Theo realized then that he didn't mind doing that. He didn't mind any of this happening, it felt like the most natural thing in the world.
So without thinking too much, he went closer and finally kissed the guy he couldn't get out of his mind. This wasn't their first kiss, hell, they had gone all the way to stripping and fucking each other in the heat of the moment but now it felt different. Was that a bad word to describe a kiss? No, it wasn't, at least not now. Not with Quentin.
He stood up from the bed, still kissing Quentin while touching him everywhere before going back to bed with Quentin getting on top of him, now touching his skin under his shirt that he managed to get off him in just a couple of seconds...
Suddenly the door opened, revealing a shocked Amanda and much to his horror, Bree Adams who looked at the scene a few seconds before opening her mouth. She didn't say anything, though, instead, she just shook her head and walked away. Amanda whispered a quick 'sorry' before following her, leaving two boys in an awkward silence.
"I guess this is the last time I'll be in your house," Theo tried to joke after a minute of trying to figure out what to say. He could feel Quentin shaking as much as he did. Then he rolled to lay next to him on the bed and just laid there.
"My Mom just saw me stripping you naked," Quentin whispered, sounding absolutely traumatized. Theo almost asked if it was because they almost had sex for the second time, because his mother saw it or because she interrupted them so that they couldn't continue.
"Yep," was all he could say. Was this the right time to mention that what almost just happened wasn't just sex anymore and that he actually had feelings for Quentin?