Trigger warning? Mentions of self-harm. Nothing major but I'm just going to put this here. Please read the thing at the end also!
We had been heading down the street to get to Bill's house when a voice stopped me dead in my tracks.
"There you are. I was beginning to wonder where you'd been all day."
The voice startled me, making me stop and turn to look at my brother.
"I was-" I looked to my friends, who were all staring at him as if he'd try to kill them all in one go.
"I-"
I really had no idea what to say.
"Henry told me you were out here with these..." he bit his tongue, "...losers."
Donny's hair had been tousled and slicked back. His eyes were dark and angry as if I'd just insulted him— even that wouldn't've been so bad compared to what he'd do to me now.
"Why'd you lie to me?" He asked. "You said you were going to the store, right? Where are the chips? It's been hours."
His tone had suddenly turned warm and sugary sweet, almost as fake as my sister had been around adults. It sent a chill down my spine, the way he was acting. He was trying to act like her because he knew she scared me.
"I was with my friends. You said I needed more, right?"
The glare he sent me gave me goosebumps. I backed away instinctively.
"Henry's cousin is coming to town soon. He's about your age. Maybe it'd do you good to hang around him instead of these dickwads."
"Okay," I said nervously, "we're going to Bill's house now."
Donny walked slowly towards me. My friends moved out of the way as he made his way in my direction.
He stared at me for a split second before grabbing my wrist and holding it tightly. He leaned in, whispering quietly so only I'd hear.
"If I ever hear about you hanging around these losers again, I'll kill you and then all of them with my bare hands."
My breath hitched and the skin around where he was holding my wrist had turned from my usual tan to a bright white color.
"You're hurting me." I managed to get out, looking up at him with horror in my eyes.
"L-let go of h-h-her." Bill stammered.
Donny turned, darkness in his eyes. His grip around my wrist tightened. He was livid, I knew.
"Stay the fuck away from my sister." He seethed at them. They all seemed to jump, startled at his tone.
With that, Donny pulled me away, taking me all the way back to our house.
Later that day, I had locked myself in my room, examining the bruise already forming on my wrist.
Donny had left an hour earlier to hang out with Henry and some other guy I'd never heard about.
"Honey, I made dinner." My dad said, poking his head into my room. "Okay. I'll be out in a minute."
"Alright well, me and your mom are going out tonight. It's just gonna be you. Donny won't be home till late, so call Henry's if you need anything."
I nodded, sitting up in my bed.
"We're leaving in about ten minutes, okay?" I nodded again. "I'll see you guys later then."
After my parents left, I picked up an old book and began to read. My mind was somewhere else and my eyes seemed to droop.
I don't remember falling asleep that day.
"Wake up!" A hand shook me awake. I jumped, fearing it was Donny coming to beat me or worse.
"Mila?" I questioned. For some reason, I wasn't scared. I was completely mellow actually.
"That's right."
Her face, strikingly similar to my mother was staring down at me. She placed a hand on my arm.
That was all I needed before the memories came rushing back to me. Things I still remembered vividly and things I could hardly remember at all.
Her hand trailed from my arm towards my neck.
I hated when people touched my neck.
"Why have you been ignoring me?" Mila asked quietly. "I haven't. You're dead." I responded with the same tone. "Maybe... but you still see me. All the time. Even though you lie to mom and dad about it."
My face paled.
"Shut up! I—" but I didn't really know what to say. As usual, Mila had rendered me speechless. "And you're afraid of me. Donny told me a long time ago."
"I never s—"
"It doesn't matter if you said it, we just know."
"Do mom and dad know you're here?"
Mila rolled her eyes. "Of course not you idiot. If they did they'd be checking themselves into a psych ward because, in case you didn't know, you aren't supposed to see dead people."
"Why... are you here?"
"Because, darling, I have unfinished business with you fuckers." She said, examining a chipped nail. She swore under her breath then picked at it.
"Who?" I asked. "You. Perhaps some of the other town assholes."
"What did I do?"
She shrugged.
"You lived and I didn't. That's a problem."
"I—"
A knock at the window cut me off. I peered out to find Stan Uris looking up at me.
"Don't let him see me," Mila said with a loud laugh.
"You can't be here," I told him when I opened the window.
"We came here to get you. It's important. We found something out."
I turned to Mila who was smiling. "He's cute," she muttered, "would be a shame if something happened to him."
I frowned.
"My brother left, but—"
"But?"
I looked at Mila again.
"Nothing. I'll be out in a minute."
"I'll be here when you get back." She said with a wink.
Stan had my bike. I had completely forgotten about it until then. When Donny dragged me off he didn't let me bring my bike too. I was getting a little sick of him and his mellow dramatic attitude.
Even though he had mine, Stan hadn't brought his own bike, so we opted to walk. It was comfortably silent until Stan decided to speak.
"How come your brother cares so much about who you hang out with?"
I sighed and for a second I thought about telling him everything— from our family cat to Mila's arm being ripped off— but I settled for half the story instead.
"He wasn't always this... intense," I told him. "Donny has always had his highs and lows, but ever since Mila died, I feel like he's trying to become her."
Stan furrowed his eyebrows, confused. "What do you mean?" He asked.
My walking slowed a little bit. Stan matched my pace.
"Mila was... I don't really have another word for it: psycho. And..." I trailed off slightly, trying to build up the courage to tell him. "She tried to kill me. When she was teaching me how to swim she held my head underwater, she laughed when I got this scar, I woke up several times with her standing over my bed with some kind of heavy object... I can't sleep at night because of her." Tears welled up in my eyes.
"I still see her. I was talking to her when you got to my house. She taunts me during the day and at night. I'm terrified of her."
Stan stopped walking to wrap his arms around me.
"I'm sorry you had to grow up like that."
I sniffed, then broke out of his hug and continued to speak.
"Donny was nicer, gentler. He wasn't much better, but compared to Mila he was a saint." I let out a sigh. Stan said nothing, watching me intently. "He took part in torturing me, but he always knew when it went too far. It's almost like that sense of conscience wasn't ever apart of Mila."
"Now that she's gone, Donny is worse. He mixed his personality with hers. Donny doesn't feel anything anymore. He only cares about Henry, getting high, and making my life hell."
A chill suddenly ran down my spine, making me stop my life story.
"Wait— why are we here?"
The neibolt house stared at us. Like the last time, something made me want to go in, but my mind was fighting against it.
"This is what we needed to tell you about. When we were at Bill's we found out that this is where IT lives."
"IT?" I questioned. "IT is the thing that's bothering all of us. Georgie, the clown, the woman I see, Eddie's leper... maybe Mila too." He said quietly.
"Stan I don't... I don't wanna go in there." I told him. "Yeah, I don't either."
A sudden, loud shriek erupted from the house. Stan went to go in, but I held him back.
Everyone came rushing outside all at once. Richie was cradling Eddie's arm. Eddie was whimpering loudly. Beverly and Bill looked very visibly shaken.
"There you guys are! You missed all the fun." Richie shouted through gritted teeth. He was clearly angry about the situation. And given the private information I knew, he was mad because Eddie was hurt.
"Sorry, we didn't come in. I had a bad feeling. I guess I was right, huh? What happened in there?" I asked.
Richie shook his head. "Bill was right! That is where IT lives. Too bad we had no fucking clue how to kill it or protect ourselves. Eddie broke his arm. His mom will actually kill us."
Eddie let out a groan.
"Get me home right now or I'll never talk to any of you again." He said.
Richie hurried off with him, helping him onto his bike.
Bill sighed and turned to everyone else. "I'm r-real s-sorry about this, guys."
"I'm just gonna walk Iris home... I think maybe you should get some rest, Bill."
Bill exhaled loudly and turned to Beverly. She nodded slowly. "I agree. It's getting late anyway."
"F-fine. But tomorrow we're all m-m-meeting. W-we need to talk."
We all nodded in agreement and Stan and I left to go back to my house.
Once more, the walk was silent. I didn't mind it too much. Stan was a good company. He wasn't the type of person who couldn't stand when it was quiet. I loved Richie, but he just never knew when to just be quiet. Stan did.
The more I thought, the more I realized that there was no way someone as nice as Stan would like me so much.
"Why do you care about me like this? You always invite me places and you're the one to come and get me... why?"
"Because I know what it's like being the odd one out. People forget about me all the time. It sucks. Plus I kinda... like you, Jenning."
My heart skipped a beat. The butterflies entered my stomach and suddenly I got it.
I felt fake liking Bill because I never knew him. When I did get to know him I was disappointed with the results. Stanley Uris was the nicest boy I'd ever met. He made me feel something I'd never felt before: safe. And I cursed myself for falling for him because as nice as he was, he knew everything about me and I knew nothing about him. He probably only liked me as a sister or something like that.
"Heh... thanks."
He was quiet the whole rest of the way.
When we got to my doorstep, Stan let out a sigh. "It's killing me... how'd you get that scar?" He pointed to the one on my face. I frowned, but quickly covered it.
"You don't get to know everything just yet, Stan."
He stood there baffled.
"Goodnight, and please be careful walking home now that... you know."
"Yeah, I know. Goodnight Iris."
Later that night I flopped into my bed, shutting my eyes and getting ready to drift off to sleep.
An arm around my waist jolted me awake. My heartbeat sped up. I squeezed my eyes shut, willing for her to go away.
"What'd I tell you, huh? It'd be a shame if something happened to your little boyfriend. And you still let him walk home alone. Tsk tsk."
I let out a shaky breath as I tried to stay calm.
"Mila I need to sleep. Can you just leave me alone tonight?"
"Leave you alone? You think I'd ever leave you alone? That's where you're wrong, bitch. You're so wrong because I'll be here forever. I will haunt you until you wanna slit your own throat. You will wanna die and guess what? You still won't be free of me—"
I let out a loud sob, silencing her.
"Oh, you're crying now? I didn't know you still did that. I thought you were grown up. Only babies cry, Iris. Didn't mama tell you? It's fitting though. My baby sister cries like a baby. Is Mila scaring you, little baby?" She cooed.
My sobbing continued and I got up and ran out of the room, slamming the door. My mom was still sleeping on the couch when I ran past the living room.
Not wanting to bother my dad, I went into Donny's room. He sat up abruptly.
"What the hell do you want?" He grunted.
"It's Mila. She won't leave me alone. I haven't slept in days and I keep seeing her—" my voice broke and I continued crying.
I couldn't see his face, but his body slouched slightly. His presence felt unusually warm.
"You wanna sleep in here?" He asked in slight disbelief. "Figured you woulda ran to daddy like always."
"I-I... you were the first person I thought of. I didn't wanna wake dad up anyways."
Donny lifted his blanket and let me climb into his bed.
"She doesn't talk to me when other people are around," I told him.
"Yeah, I know. She comes to me too. Tells me to do bad things. I don't want to though... I'm not— trying to be an asshole. I know it seems like it, but she gets to me. I don't sleep either and I get angry. I'm sorry, really."
He paused then, "if you really wanna hang out with those losers, it's fine by me. Just stay out of Henry's way."
"Only if he stays out of ours," I said.
He laughed and ruffled my hair, "Hey... I saw that Jew walk you up to the house earlier. What's up with that?"
I shrugged. "He's nice."
"Nice? Is that all?"
"Yeah... I like Stan. He's a good friend."
"Sure. I've heard that one before. Goodnight Iris."
"Goodnight Donny."
And for the first time in a long time, I slept the entire night.
I messed up the times so basically they go into neibolt a little later—almost sunset, Richie takes Eddie home to his mom, and then the next day they'll all talk and Richie will hit Bill. Hope this clears things up!