'What is this place?' Her voice echoes in the whole terminal, cascading in infinite waves. Chaos prevails for a short minute as the vibrations scare off a few birds that found a home under the pitched roof.
It's so strange to have her here. No one else has set foot inside the depot for more than a century, and the odds of her finding out about this place were practically non-existent. I've thought of it to be my secret cave, a sanctuary during my short stay here, but now that its sanctity has been broken, it gained a different meaning. I must be punished for something I've done in my previous lives.
Before coming on Terra 1, the boys had asked me if I plan to live with them. I bet my face had said it all, as I didn't have to put it into words for them to even know it. It's not that I don't trust my team, but rather I enjoy being by myself too much. I can't even imagine them barging in here and breaking the serenity of this place. That's definitely not going to happen! I reassure myself, recalling the times we spent in camp together, during our training. Let's just say it's not easy living with them.
I shift my stare to her as she stands on the tip of her toes looking curious above the rail at the stationed freight wagons downstairs. Auburn locks cascade over her shoulders framing her delicate face. I'm bewitched by her beauty once again, and I cannot make myself stop looking at her. A slightly turned-up nose rivals soft voluptuous crimson lips, so contradictory to her petite frame. My stubborn eyes pause on her parted mouth, watching her teeth gripping hungrily on her lower lip. The power she has over me right now is beyond me and she doesn't even know it. All of a sudden, I feel like burning. This cannot happen, Roone! Reason starts yelling, taking control over my body and forcing me to stare at the golden rays invading through the translucent roof.
'Home-sweet-home!' I reply hastily, just to shift my weak mind on something else. Then, grabbing the cold metal, I continue climbing the ladder to the attic.
'You've got to be kidding me! You live here?' She asks all excited, as she follows me through the hole in the floor.
'Yes, I do, actually. Hate living with my folks.', I reply on a neutral tone, hoping her curiosity stops here. 'Are you hungry? I don't have much, but I could make up a decent breakfast.' I continue, diverting the subject to a lighter topic, something that doesn't require me lying straight ahead. Not yet, at least.
For this reason, I don't want her here. I already feel bad for hiding the truth from her, especially now when she's mourning the loss of her grandmother. She doesn't know it yet, but if Iron Guard really took her, then she'd be gone forever. I am a soldier, not a con man after all.
Unresponsive, she stares outside the window, charmed by the city that lies in front of her. I admit, not only that I have the high ground vantage point, but a spectacular full panorama of everything under the skies, as well. It's past noon, when the sun envelops the white, all alike, houses, its beams shining in the glazed central towers. She nods and escapes a 'Yeah, it's fine'. However, I can tell her mind is far away, lost in her thoughts and floating somewhere above the city.
Seeing her like this it's really bothering me, for I'd known her for my whole life and not once have I ever seen her so miserable. I was only ten when they assigned her as my mission. We had all been given a purpose in life, something to train hard for and keep pushing, and Nerissa was my target. To no surprise, I feel like I failed her. I mean, she looks so empty, a hollow vessel waiting to be filled with sadness. She quivers under my touch and I swear I could see a pale blush on her cheeks, yet the terror in her blue and green eyes tells me a different story. Does she not like to be touched?
'Are you alright?' I ask worried.
Her glance shifts back and forth between myself and the colorless monoliths outside the window. The silence is killing me, but I know better than not to push her in this fragile state. She might still be in shock or too afraid for her life. What on Earth does Iron Guard plan to do with Nerissa's grandmother? And most importantly, what were they looking for?
I decide to give her space and return to the kitchen. To keep myself busy, I put together two sandwiches, which look too delicious for their own good. I'm starving and so must she. Stalling, I mend my voice and try for a different approach instead.
'I mean, how are you feeling? You had quite a few drinks last night. Your head must be exploding.'
Maybe this will finally break the ice and ease her mind. I know last night wasn't exactly a breeze, but still. Tired, she takes a deep breath and cuts directly to the chase. Her shoulders jump up and down as the words are escaping her inert body.
'Why would they take her? I don't understand.' She asks in a low voice, then suddenly pauses.
Anxious, she traces complicated patterns throughout the room, unaware that she's gripping and squeezing her upper arm. From time to time she combs her hands through her hair pulling it upwards and mumbling out incomprehensible sounds. After just a few seconds, too long for both our sakes, she turns to me, her face covered in despair.
'She has never broken the law. She's always done what she had been told. Why would the troops take her?'
I won't be able to ever forget those big tearing eyes, piercing me as she waits for an explanation. All the unanswered questions that have piled up until now are making her nervous. Stressed, she's chewing at her bottom lip again, although this time she's biting it too hard. I should give her some answers before she hurts herself.
Closing the distance between us, until we are just a few inches apart, I lift my hand to caress her face. My eyes are glued to her wet bottom lip, while the urge of wiping off a stray tear from her cheek is consuming all of my restraint. My heart aches for her and I can't believe how much I let myself care. It's useless to keep lying to myself, but then again, my annoying conscience decides to infringe, stopping me before I do something I'll regret. I saw her reaction when I'd touched her earlier. Instead, I settle to look her in the eyes, one is a clear boundless sky, the other a wild and luxurious reef.
'I didn't know it until after I had seen the room.' I start, yet I refuse to break the stare. There is something in those eyes that keeps me coming back to her.
She pulls back, holding me in place with her hands, and creating a barrier between us. I should take her hint, but when did I ever give up so easily? Mission comes first, still, she's nowhere near what I thought she would be. I watch mesmerized as her lips are moving apart and prepare mentally for the rain of questions she must be holding back.
'What? What do you know about Susan?' Nerissa cuts me off impatiently, a flicker of hope crossing her eyes.
I clench my jaw and take a deep breath. I should make something up and fast, yet my gut tells me different. Maybe hearing the truth is what she needs right now. Although what I'm about to say might jeopardize my mission. No one knows about the Iron Guard except the government, of course, who covers everything up. However, I have a feeling that they have already been up to their necks keeping the rebels from interfering with the experiment.
I walk to the fridge and take out a bottle of water, weighing very carefully how and to what extent I should be revealing the truth. The consequences of my decisions could be either devastating or helpful with my case. I throw the bottle to her and she grabs it in mid-air. I've been stalling this moment since she stepped foot inside the depot, but I came to the conclusion there was no easy way to tell it.
'Come with me.' I say, and then I head over to the hatch in the roof.
She obediently follows me outside on the ridge, squinting her eyes at the sudden bright light. A gush of wind sets her auburn hair winding in the air, as she seats confused on the rugged metal slope.
'Look,' I start and mend my voice for a short tick, 'what I am about to say is government secret, hugely restricted and very dangerous. You are in jeopardy just for knowing their name.' Oh boy, I really hope I am not doing more harm for letting her know the truth. Well, a part of it, at least.
'Tell me everything, please. She's all I have left.' She begs, her eyes drenched in tears.
Here it goes. I puff and shift my stare towards the sky. I don't want to witness the damage to what I'm about to say.
'It was the Iron Guard.' There, I said it. 'They are extremists who are under the virus influence. Their plan is to "free" the people by eliminating the inhibitor from their body, and to overtake the city. The Supreme Government is erasing all their deeds and cleans-up all their trace. The last thing they want is to deal with a scared and unstable city.'
A few seconds pass and the only thing to break the silence is her water bottle rolling down the roof. We both watch it fall over the edge when her words finally hit me.
'And you know this from your parents?' She asks, having a hard time believing me.
'You can say so, yeah.' I lie, still looking up. The sun has not started to set yet, but the moon and a few stars are fighting for their spot on the infinite blue. 'Although, they are not my real parents.' I continue, surprised for the slip of the tongue. I have no idea why I said that.
I catch her staring. Those eyes are too big for her beautiful face. Her cheeks turn red and she quickly moves her glance to the city that unravels in front of us.
'Saying that all of it is true, what does it have to do with Susan?' The moment when the connection of the harsh reality kicked in, her voice jumped a whole octave higher. She must have realized the threat Iron Guard was posing to her grandma's life.
'I haven't figured that one out yet. From the mess they'd made in your house, it looks like they were searching for something. Do you know what it might be that they are looking for?' I add, really gambling my luck with this one.
I don't want to push it too far and raise suspicion. It's good that I gained her trust by telling her the truth, although I am not sure yet what she is going to do with all the information. Nerissa shakes her head puzzled and lost. She must be terrified and I am the last person that should comfort her.
'What is that?' She asks out of nowhere, her trembling finger pointing towards the brightest star in the sky.
I look at her speechless and amazed, yet before collecting my words, she cuts in.
'You keep looking at it. I thought there must be a story behind your curiosity.' Her voice is hoarse from crying in silence. Her hands are busy rubbing and twisting as she's waiting for a distraction.
'That,' I say, 'is home. My mind always wanders to its magnificence and finds clarity when it needs to. There is something that draws me to it like I am connected to it somehow, but I can't explain what it is. Maybe I am a part of it and my whole essence looks for ways to return.' Home, God I miss that place.
I reach for my hand and try to capture it between my fingers. Terra 2, the brightest star the skies can bear. Then, my eyes shift to the small tattoo on my wrist, reminding me of why I am here. I stretch the sleeve to cover it, but her piercing gaze is too disturbing.
'Let's go inside. I'm starving.' I change the subject while catching her staring again.
...
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