CONNECTED

By JarriaJelese

35.3K 851 389

Nicole and Tae are closer than ever; Nicole's spa is really taking off while Tae thinks about finally throwin... More

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By JarriaJelese

Nicole.

"Yessss Bosslady! Pose!" Rayvon snapped over Montana's shoulder. "Fierce Honey yassssss, you better give us face!"

"Ray if you don't move." Montana stood up straight. "And while you moving, please shut up."

I agreed "Yes please! I love you Ray but you're messing up my focus!" I sang, running my fingers through my hair.

"Well forget y'all then! I was just trying to give a lil inspiration." He rolled his eyes, giving me spirit fingers as he turned around.

"That's what we got the music on for." Montana squatted back down putting his camera to his face.

"Music will never equal out to Rayvon Cornellious Plato." He picked his water bottle up off the ground. "Red hair is a whole fucking vibe on you Bosslady. I told you it would look good."

"You did" I spoke between Montana's camera flashing.

"Your last name really Plato, Ray?" Montana chuckled. "The hell?"

"It is, problem?"

Montana held his hands up in surrender. "I don't want no smoke."

We had been at it for a couple of hours and I only had one look left. I loved my team, we laughed and played around majority of the day but we got the job done; always. We weren't shooting for a specific reason, I just liked to keep our social media accounts updated with new pictures of myself, happy customers, and my products.

"What are we eating for lunch?" Ray asked as we walked down the stairs that led to the main floor. "I'm hungry"

"You always worried about some food." I giggled holding my dress up, being careful not to fall. I had on some boots that were not trying to let me prosper.

"Girl because I be hungry! Now what we eating?"

"Well I was gonna go to that pizza place down the block."

"Ouuu yeah that do sound real good." He groaned, licking his lips. "I can get a Large Pepperoni with Bacon, Ham, Mushrooms, Olives, Pineapples, Diced Tomatoes, and Banana Peppers with Breadsticks on the side."

"Damn Ray" Montana said causing me to laugh. We made a left, going towards the lobby. "You gone share with me? Save me some money."

"Hell no, you make more money than me."

I had bumped Ray up to my Creative Director months ago. He was making dirty money and I paid him extra for styling me, yet he still acted like he was living on a folding towels salary.

"Lay Layyyyy" I hugged Layla from the back over her shoulders. I hadn't seen her all morning due to shooting.

She grinned hugging me back. "Good Morning Nicole, Ray, and Montana. I was wondering where y'all been all this time."

"Upstairs" Ray patted his invisible weave, sitting on her lap. "We going to Carino's for lunch, you wanna come?"

She looked at the MacBook on the desk, checking the time. "Everyday you worried about lunch."

"And?" He questioned her. "I know you gone go."

"Duh I'm going, you buying?"

"I don't know why you and Montana think I got all this money." He looked in his pockets and under a stack of papers. "Where is it? Please let me know when y'all find it." We all shared a laugh.

We waited on Layla to tell the rest of my team we were leaving for lunch. "We driving or walking?" She asked, putting her crossbody purse over herself.

"I say drive and we can take my car." Rayvon clicked the locks to his Yellow Bettle.

"Oh good and you parked right by the entrance." I jogged the little ways to his car, pulling the door handle.

"Y'all all lazy." Montana shook his head. "It's literally right down the block, we can see it from here." He held his hand out pointing at the place.

"I'm pregnant with twins." I put my hands on my hips.

"Hell I just don't feel like walking and I'm not gone let Montana shame me." Ray waved him off. "Get in y'all!"

"So you're gonna pay for parking and then have to pay again when you come back? Ain't no guarantee your spot will be here by the time we finish eating." Montana went on and on while Lay and I got in the car not listening to anything he was saying. There was no way I was walking. I didn't care if it was right down the block or not.

"I have quarters to waste; either you want this ride or not?"

"Ima walk"

"Suit yourself!" Ray looked in his mirrors, pulling out of his parking spot. We weren't driving fifteen seconds before he parked in front of the pizza place.

"I did not know they had a Buffet at Lunchtime." Ray gasped clapping his hands. "I know ima love this."

We went our separate ways, each piling our plates with slices of pizza. I always kept it simple and stuck with my usual pepperoni and bacon. "That's all you getting?" Ray bumped my shoulder. He already had two plates in his hands.

"Yes" I was satisfied with my three pieces of pizza and two breadsticks.

"Good, can you take this to the table for me?" He held one of his plates out for me to grab. "I still gotta get my salad and something to drink."

I took his mountain of food. "Get me a Lemonade."

"Got you Bosslady."

By time we sat down, Montana was just coming inside. "Just right down the block huh?" Ray put his hands around his mouth, messing with him. "Places aren't as close as they seem, are they?" Layla and I laughed.

He flipped him off, taking his wallet out to pay. "Y'all still could've walked." He thanked the cashier before grabbing his cup and heading towards the Buffet.

"You watching your figure?" Layla smacked away, looking at his plate of dry salad; he didn't have not one slice of pizza.

"I'm not really that hungry."

"Aww worried about Korea being out of the Country with Julio?" Ray joked.

Montana flipped him off again. "No and don't speak on shit you don't know about." He spat.

My eyes met with Lay's causing her to buck hers' at me, twisting her mouth to the side. "I was just joking."

"Don't play with me about her."

"Ouuuu" I gave him the eye. "You doing a little too much for somebody that ended the friendship." I defended Korea. I wasn't about to let him sugarcoat their situation when I knew better.

"That doesn't mean I don't care." He stabbed a Cherry Tomato. "I care about our friendship a lot, but I know if I continue to be friends with her then I'm only gone end up hurting myself in the long run."

"I never took you for the emotional type." Lay said the same thing I was thinking. I didn't think Montana was very emotional neither.

"Y'all think just because a nigga inked up, got dreads, and live in Chicago that I'm suppose to be this hardcore ass thug." He smacked his lips, slightly shaking his head. "Not me"

"I consider us friends, but I don't really know anything about you." I covered my mouth.

"Same" Ray agreed, lowering pizza into his mouth. "All I know is that you black and you take good ass pictures."

"Well I'm originally from Texa-"

"What part?" Lay cut him off; she was from Texas as well.

"Houston"

"Dallas"

"Oh I can't fuck with you no more Lay Lay." They laughed but I didn't get the joke. "I was raised by a single mother, may she Rest In Peace." He crossed his heart.

"I'm sorry to hear that Montana." I said genuinely, understanding how difficult it was to lose a Parent.

"Can't dwell on it. After that I ended up living with my Aunt and two older Cousins. I was in and out of trouble, skipping school to get tattoos and shit." He chuckled to himself, reminiscing. "I landed myself in prison for three years on an Armed Robbery charge- I was constantly fighting other inmates so they shipped my ass to Chicago. Towards the end of my sentence, I picked up on drawing, I have always had a passion for Art and anything that involves my hands. Once I got out, I started hustling, taking pictures of people in Downtown; eventually I was able to buy my Studio."

"Wow, that's really inspiring."

"Yeah"

"How old are you?" I asked out of curiosity. It was funny that he had been around so long, yet I was just now getting to know him.

"36"

"What?" Ray asked in shock. "36?"

"Yeah, I'm old y'all." He laughed. "I know I look like I'm bout 25-26, but I'm not."

"Korea never told me that." Of course his age wasn't an issue, I just didn't know he was that gotdamn old. "You got ten years on us."

"Actually eleven; my Birthday tomorrow."

I pinched him as hard as I could. "You weren't gonna say anything?"

"It's not that big of a deal." He rubbed up and down his arm.

"Tae says the same thing about his Birthday, but I celebrate anyway and I'm going to do the same for you." I smiled thinking of ideas. "We'll throw you a party at the Spa tomorrow."

"Ouu yes!" Ray lifted his head from his plates. "Me and Lay can go get all the decorations after we get off. Black and Gold theme?"

"Yeah that'll be cute." I went to my Notes App, typing out a quick menu full of Finger-Foods. "I can ask Ms. Yolanda to cook."

"I like how y'all doing all this, but I didn't plan on coming to the Spa tomorrow." He killed the mood. "I got shoots all day."

I scoffed "You purposely overbooked yourself so you don't have to celebrate your day."

"We can party tomorrow night then." Layla said. "It can be something really small, just family and friends." We all looked at him waiting for him to give us the Ok.

"Y'all gone do it anyway so go ahead. I'll invite my Homeboys."

I ended up leaving my Spa a little after four, so I could make it to the Grocery Store before the weather hit. There was suppose to be a storm coming     and I did not wanna be stuck on the highway somewhere.

"Ok, Wings" I pushed my basket in the direction of the frozen meats. I had called Ms. Yolanda earlier and she was more than happy to cook for Montana's party. The menu consisted of multiple flavors of Homemade Wings, Barbecue Meatballs, Teriyaki Meatballs, Salad, Fries, Homemade Peach Tea, and Red Velvet Cake.

I quickly unzipped my purse, grabbing my phone as it rang. Maurice's name flashed across the screen. "Hello Beautiful" I greeted her once the FaceTime connected. "Your hair is cute. You like it?" She had switched up from her Red to Blonde.

"Actually I hate it. I don't know why I let you and Korea convince me to go to that girl." She was talking about my Hairstylist, Bre. "I think she only can do black hair." She had mentioned wanting to change Stylist and being that Korea and I had been going to Bre for years, we referred her.

I laughed, throwing bags of fries in my basket. "Korea rarely has her hair black and it always looks good, Maurice. You're just picky."

"Well I guess" She put the camera on her frontal. "What are you buying all those fries for?"

"I'm throwing Montana a party tomorrow night; tomorrow's his birthday."

"Really? He's a Virgo, yuck."

"Must you be so negative all the time? Beyoncé's a Virgo- how dare you?"

"Beyoncé's the only Virgo I've ever liked."

"You like Montana."

She sighed "I don't know him to like him, I tolerate his presence for Korea."

I rolled my eyes, shaking my head at her. "Ok Maurice"

"Where are you going when you leave the store? I need to talk to you about something."

"Ms. Yolanda's and what is it?" I questioned, wanting to know already. "It must be important if you don't want to tell me over the phone."

"It's about Nic"

I stopped in my tracks, looking at her. "What happened?"

From her facial expression I knew I wasn't going to like it. "I just wanna tell you in person. I'll meet you at Mama Yolanda's." She ended the call.

The rest of my shopping trip was in shambles. I couldn't focus and I kept racking my mind, trying to think of all the possibilities. I didn't even know Maurice and Nic communicated like that.

"You need help LadyBug?" Mr. Lenard thankfully opened the front door for me.

"Yes sir, it's a lot." I sat the bags I had in my hands by the front door, breathing hard.

"You go sit down, I got it."

"Thank you" I handed him my keys. I wasted no time heading for the couch, kicking my boots off. "Ms. Yolanda! Maurice!" I yelled. Maurice's Audi was parked in the circle drive.

"Why you yelling child?" Ms. Yolanda came out of the kitchen with a towel on her shoulder. "We were just in the Kitchen."

"Oh" I giggled.

Maurice came out with a popsicle in her hand. "Hey Sis"

"Hey, now what did you want to tell me?"

"What's the rush?"

"Me wanting to know." She laughed sitting beside me. "Tell me so I can go home and get in my bed."

She grabbed my arm, pulling me up and leading me to the guest room. "I don't know how to say it so I'm just gonna say it." She paused, sighing heavily. "Tae tortured Nic and warned him to stay away from you or he'd kill him."

"What?"

"A couple days after you went to therapy with him, Tae went over to his apartment- whipped him unconscious, made small cuts all of his body, and threw him in a bath of alcohol and peroxide."

"What?" I asked again.

"Yeah sis"

Rage instantly filled my body as I quickly put everything together in my head. "Nic really did lie."

"He did"

"I- I didn't ask Tae to do that." I assured her. "I would never." Of course I was upset Nic had lied to me but I already knew, she just further confirmed my suspicions. Our Dad was full of love that he poured into us; beating us never crossed his mind.

"I know you didn't. Tae was just trying to protect you like he always is."

"Wait" I cocked my head to the side. "How do you know all of this? I never said anything about Nic and I's therapy session and I know Tae wouldn't tell a soul what he did.... besides Julio. Are you and my brother back together?"

"Fuck no!" She responded immediately. "He just needs a shoulder to lean on."

"He's just gonna drag you through the dirt until you can't take it anymore, Maurice." I tried to tell her. "You don't wanna put yourself through that."

"I'm stronger than most, Nicole."

"Alright" I tried not to take what she said personal. "Are y'all friends?" I really wanted to know.

"You can say that."

"Why I feel like you keeping something from me? What did he do? Is he ok?"

"He's fine" She kept it simple. "I just wanted to tell you about Tae because Nic mentioned it to me and it didn't sit right with me at all." She said. "He's terrified of him, Nicole."

"Well I'm not and I'll be sure to handle it."

**********

"Hey baby" Ms. Karen let me inside her house. "What you doing over here in all this Weather?" She asked concerned, hugging her Charcoal Gray Robe to her body. "It's raining cats and dogs outside. Where my Grandbabies?"

"Maurice is babysitting them for me. I need to talk to Tae." It was past Midnight and here I was standing in the foyer of his mama house. I couldn't stop thinking about what Maurice told me, I needed answers and I needed them now.

"You gotta talk to him right now?" She followed me up the stairs, turning off the lights on the way.

"Yes ma'am" I responded.

"Sounds like some drama to me. It's to late for y'all to be arguing and carrying on like y'all don't got no damn sense" She started fussing. "And you know better than to be driving over here in that weather just to argue behind nothing!"

"I'm not gonna argue with him." I stopped in front of his room door, looking back at her. She side-eyed me. "I promise I'm not trying to argue. I just want answers."

She pointed in my face. "If I hear even a peep, I'm coming in there to whoop both of y'all asses. You tell him what I said too."

"Yes ma'am"

She looked at me one last time before heading towards the opposite side of the house, where her room was located.

I quietly shut the room door behind me, hearing the fan blasting.

I hope he gets sick

I didn't wanna risk waking him up by turning on the light, so I used my flashlight to guide myself around his room instead. "What the fuck you doing in here?" His voice roared causing me to drop my phone, clutching my chest.

"You almost gave me a heart attack!" I fell over on the bed still clutching my chest.

"Good" He turned the light on, mugging me. "What are you doing here and why are you in my room?"

I looked from his face, to his chest, and back up to his face. "I have to ask you something."

He held his hands out at his sides. "What?"

"Did you beat and torture my brother?" I asked hesitantly. "Does throwing him in an Alcohol bath sound familiar to you?"

His facial expression never changed. "It actually was Alcohol and Peroxide." He went into his connected bathroom.

"Why the fuck would you do that?"

He stood at the toilet, peeing. "At the time I had my reasons and I'd still do it again if I had to." He felt no remorse at all. "He lied to you, you were hurting."

"So you torture him? You're not God Tae, you can't give people their karma."

He rolled his eyes. "Are you done?" He asked annoyed. "If you came over here to ask me that then there's your answer." He flushed the toilet. "Get out" He started washing his hands.

I continued to stand where I was, looking at him through the mirror. Our eyes met "Why you still right here? Get out Nicole."

I folded my arms across my stomach, shifting my weight to one side. "Alright man" He turned the light off on me.

I threw multiple punches at him as he tried to run away from me. "I'm tired of you disrespecting me!" I yelled throwing blow after blow at him. He laid on the bed trying to shield himself as best he could. "You selfish, arrogant, disrespectful son of a bitch!" I hit him with all my might. I beat his ass until I grew tired.

"I did that shit for you!" He shouted once I sat down.

"You didn't do shit for me, fuck you! You hate Nic so you took whatever opportunity you could to fuck with him, you poor excuse of a man!"

"Say it again" He stepped in my space, towering over me with his fist balled up at his sides.

"You gone put your hands on me?" I looked up at his face. His lips was bleeding and he had a black eye forming. "I dare you Taelor."

"Shut the fuck up." He slightly stepped back. "I'm contemplating knocking your ass out right now."

"Do it then!" I challenged, standing up. My stomach brushed against his torso.

"I'm definitely taking Jasmine out now, probably even to Acadia." He smirked trying to get under my skin. Acadia was where we made things official four years ago.

"I know you're just saying that."

"I am? Then why I been texting her?"

"Nig-" I felt a sharp pain shoot across my lower abdomen causing me to drop to my knees. "Owwwww!" I cried out as tears started pouring down my face.

"Baby what's wrong?" Tae immediately grabbed my arm trying to stand me up. I held my hand against the bottom of my stomach as hot tears fell into the carpet. The pain shot through me again making me yell out. "Baby baby baby baby!" Tae kept repeating. "W-What's wrong with you? What can I do?" He asked, scared. "Where's it hurting at?"

"My stomach" Was all I could get out before the pain shot through me again. I held my face down in the carpet as slobber along with my tears leaked onto it. "I- I think I'm having a miscarriage Tae!" I started sobbing at the thought.

"No you not baby, not you not." His voice shook while he tried to assure me. "Come on, you gotta get up." He grabbed my arm with shaky hands.

"I-I can't stand!"

He scooped me up bridal style. "I got you, I'm sorry." He kept repeating, carrying me out of the room. "Mama!" He yelled through the house, walking as fast as he could while I held onto him. "Mama!"

"What boy? I'm sleeping!" I heard her voice but I didn't have the strength to pick my head up. "Oh God, what happened?"

"I- I don't know, w-we were going back and forth and then she just feel to her knees in pain." I could tell he was trying to keep himself together. "I don't know what happened."

"Get her to the car! I'm gone put some shoes on and wake up Mia!" She ran back into her room.

"I'm so sorry baby, I love you." Tae carried me down the stairs. "I love you so much, Baby." I responded by holding onto him tighter. "Can you stand up until I pull my car around? I don't want you getting wet."

I shook my head "I can't stand Tae." I mumbled. He ran as fast as he could but we still were soaked. He helped me get in before running around to the mdrivers side. I was on my hands and knees, holding my stomach. "I lost them Tae!" I sobbed uncontrollably.

"No you didn't baby, don't say that!" He pulled up to the front of the house, letting Ms. Karen and Mia in. They both got in the backseat with me.

I held Ms. Karen's hand for dear life as another cramp hit my body. "Owwww!" Slobber hung from my mouth.

"Lord, please!" She begged. "Tae you gotta drive a little faster!"

"I'm driving as fast as I can mama, the roads starting to flood!"

I had two more episodes before we finally pulled up the the hospital. It was only ten minutes from Ms. Karen's but it felt like forever.

A warm liquid gushed from in between my legs. Blood coated my fingertips and I already knew I had lost my babies.

"It's gone be alright, Baby." Ms. Karen cried with me, rubbing up and down my arm.

"Move so I can get her out, Mama! Tae opened the door in a hurry; with a wheelchair. He looked from her face to mine and down to my blue blood stained Chanel yoga pants. Tears came to his eyes "Fuck!" He yelled into the sky.

I laid my head against his leather seats, balling my eyes out.

********

Korea.

"What's wrong with you?" Julio sat down beside me, putting his feet in the water. "What you at the pool for?"

I wiped my face, sniffling, staring down at the water. He grabbed my chin forcing me to look at him. "You crying? What, you that upset that I changed the rooms? I told you I'd fix it."

"Nicole lost the babies." I wiped my face again.

His face fell "What? What you mean she lost the babies?"

"She had a miscarriage, Julio."

"What?" He whispered, shocked. "How?"

"I don't know but Maurice just called and told me; they're all at the hospital now."

"Damn man, you wanna fly back? We can."

"Maurice made me promise we wouldn't." I told him. "She said they're making sure Nicole and Tae feel enough support."

He dropped his head, holding it up with his hand. "Damn that's so fucked up." He paused. "I mean she was six months already, how?" He said what I had already thought about. "Just had the gender reveal and shit."

"I know"

"I know she going through it, and Tae is too."

I bit at my lip. "We don't have to get separate rooms." I glanced at him. "We can keep the one we have, I don't want to be by myself."

"Whatever you want to do is cool with me."

I woke up to Julio yelling at Cali. "Girl let me do your edges!" I sat up in the bed.

"No Daddy! I'll just wait until Mommy get up."

"You don't need to disturb your Mama and who knows when she gone wake up." He smacked his lips. "I can do the job, Babygirl. Remember that one time I did them?"

"Yes sir and they were ugly." I covered my mouth laughing.

"I liked you more when you talked less."

"I'm awake so I can do your edges, Cali." I walked into the bathroom. "What time is it?"

"Almost three o'clock"

"Y'all could've left without me." I opened Cali's edge control. "We've already missed a good portion of the day."

"I didn't mind waiting on you, Mommy. All we did was get food and walk around."

After I finished doing her edges, I dressed Cari, brushed my teeth, took a shower, and got myself ready for the remainder of the day.

The sun had gone down and the Resort was starting to settle in for the night. "Aww another night of just eating and sleeping?" Cali smacked her lips. "I didn't know you were gonna take that long to get dressed, Mommy."

I wiped off the bathroom counter that I had stained with my makeup. "Sorry baby, it wasn't on purpose." I had to start over on my face twice. "Tomorrow we'll  get up bright and early, we can go to the Spa." I gave her a sneaky smile knowing that would cheer her up.

"Ouuu the Spa!" She left out the bathroom. "Daddy you going to the Spa with us tomorrow morning?"

"Hell no" I heard a loud smack and Cali laughing. "Daddy said a bad word, I'm sorry Ma-ma." Cari must've hit him in his mouth. "Korea you teaching our daughter to smack grown folks for cursing?"

I laughed, covering my mouth, looking at my reflection in the mirror. "No!" I yelled back. "I don't know where she gets that from!" I honestly didn't, she had just picked up on it.

"Must be from Troi bad a- self!" He quickly changed what he was going to say.

"Roi-Roi!" Cari kept repeating.

"Awww, you missing your best friend, Pootie?"

"Gotdamn!" Julio scrunched his face up watching me  come out the bathroom. He grabbed Cari's hands, preventing her from hitting him. "You wearing that just to go eat?"

I grabbed my purse, phone, and our room key. "Are you ready?"

"Yeah" He looked me over once more before standing up, putting Cari on his hip.

"Put her in her stroller, Julio."

"I tried earlier and she didn't wanna get in it." She laid her head on his chest knowing he was gonna continue to baby her.

"She wants you to pack her around like you're doing."

"I know and I don't mind." He looked down at her causing her to shyly smile, sticking her head in the crock of his neck. He rubbed her back. "My baby light as a feather anyway."

"Can I get on your back, Daddy?" Cali stared up at him, pulling at her fingers.

"You ain't no baby, you can walk."

"But you're gonna carry Cari the whole way." She began to pout, folding her arms across herself. "That's not fair."

Here we go

"Don't start that jealous shit Cali." He warned her. "We spent all day together- just you and me, remember? We went to eat by ourselves and we took that long walk around the Resort."

"Yes sir, but the walk doesn't count because your were on the phone with your friend, Koriyon, the whole time."

Now was not the time for him to be light skin, his entire face had turned red. "I'm sorry-"

"It's fine Daddy." She cut him off obviously not wanting to hear his apology. "I'm gonna wait in the living room." She mumbled, walking around me.

I held my hand up, telling him to stop before he could start. "Not my business, but try not to talk to her as much while we're on this trip... for your daughters."

"It's just sex!"

"That's not my business Julio." I told him again. We ended up walking around for a while before we settled on Italian. "Take a picture with me." I nudged   Cali's arm. She hadn't said much since we left the room. She hugged my side while I wrapped my arm around her, smiling into the camera. "Ok funny face!" She giggled sticking her tongue out like I had.

"I haven't told you in a while, but thank you." Julio said once she got up to use the restroom. "You're her world, you just don't know."

"She'll always be my daughter." I touched my heart. "That's sweet of you to say but I know better." I laughed, thinking about it. "Nicole is definitely her world."

"You right about that.... you talked to her?"

"I've been blowing her up since Maurice told me, but she's not answering the phone or responding to my text. Have you talked to Tae?"

He nodded, sipping his liquor. "I gave him my condolences; he thanked me and that was it."

*********

Tae.

I lightly pushed our room door open, seeing Nicole in the same position I had left her hours ago. She was laying in pitch black darkness, on her side with the cover around her waist, staring out the window. It was still storming outside and the weather matched both of our moods.

Unfortunately, her body simply started to reject the pregnancy and ended up killing both of our babies in the process. By the time they rushed her to the maternity floor, our babies were already deceased and there was nothing the Doctors could do besides remove them from her womb.

I had no words, I just couldn't wrap my head around the shit. I didn't understand why or how it happened, or why it had to happen to Nicole and I. Neither one of us were in the space to handle such a thing yet here we were; dealing with it.

I laid down behind her, wrapping my arms around her tightly. I heard her sniffling. "You took your medicine?" I asked hesitantly.

"Mhm" She cried.

"Mama told me she'd keep the kids for us for the rest of the week." I licked my lips, not knowing what to say. I never had to deal with such a personal loss and I knew I had to be strong for both Nicole and myself. "Please don't cry baby." I kissed the side of her face as she broke down.

"I lost our sons' Tae." She stressed to me. "Both of them."

"It wasn't your fault Nicole." The last thing I wanted was for her to start blaming herself.

"Yes it was Taelor!" She sobbed on her pillow, looking out the window. "It was and I know you feel it too."

"I don't, Baby."

"I wasn't grateful for them." She cried. "I wasn't grateful and I should've been. I wanted them to be girls so bad and I-I was so angry when I found out they weren't. I've been laying here thinking what did I do differently this time around? What did I do different from Taejin and Troi? What if this is my punishment for not being grateful?

I got on my hands and knees in front of her, grabbing her hands in mine. "Baby you did nothing wrong." I looked in her eyes as I spoke. "You hear me?" She nodded, continuing to sob. "You couldn't have prevented this from happening, it was in God's Will." She nodded again as I ran my thumbs across her hands. "We can't move based off our own understanding."

"I-I know"

"This probably gone be the toughest situation we'll ever have to go through." I wiped her tears. "I need you to lean on me Nicole, that's what I'm here for. I need you to be there for me as well because I'm gonna have my days too."

"I'm here for you." She grabbed me face in her hands before hugging me. Her body shook against mine and she cried. "I love you so much Taelor."

"I love you too." I sniffed, fighting back my tears rubbing up and down her back. "We gone get through this, I promise."

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