' It is both a blessing and a curse to feel everything so deeply '
Addies's pov
"Addie! wait up" Calum called across the cafeteria. Unluckily he shouted it making people at the nearest table; Ashton's table; turn to look at me.
Including Ashton. I made eye contact with him for a second before I looked away quickly, I could feel my cheeks heating once again and prayed he wasn't still looking.
"What Calum?" I snapped but kept my tone as a whisper so no onlookers could here.
"I just told you to wait so I could walk to class with you he said in defence.
"Yeah well thanks for shouting it so the whole cafeteria looked at me." I mumbled as we walked out into the hall way in tow.
"Sorry. But hey! you should be thanking me!" he exclaimed.
"Why?"
"Because Ashton looked at you! he noticed you"
"We made eye contact for 4 seconds max" I chuckled "that's hardly noticing me"
"No no. you've got it all wrong, he was Looking at you for more than 10 seconds, his eyes followed you out of the cafeteria and he did that little smile guys do when they admire something."
"You're just trying to make me feel better Cal after what Luke said, thanks for trying though" I smiled at him appreciatively.
I nearly missed the shake of his head in amusement.
"What?"
"Addie. You're so stubborn babe."
"Shut up" I said punching his shoulder playfully.
"Believe what you want but at the end of the day I'm right like always" he winked before opening the door to his maths class and leaving me in the hallway.
Ugh. Was Ashton really looking at me? I doubt it, I would love to believe it but seriously, it's me. Why would anybody look at me?
I was kind of plain, nothing to unusual, except maybe my pale pink hair. Michael dared me in a game to do it so I did but I liked it so stuck with it.
My outfit was pretty normal today. skinny black jeans and a white sweater top. Simple but nice. So yeah, I was kinda boring. My eyes were a dull brown, that were nothing special. I wasn't special.
I sighed happily at the thought of Ashton actually noticing me, I mean we did make eye contact, that almost counts for a conversation right.
Oh god. how pathetic do I sound.
"Why are you so happy?" Luke grumbled as I took my seat next to him in English.
"For once can you stop ruining my mood" i huffed. "just because you're angry at the world don't take it out on me"
That shut him up and he didn't speak a word to me for the whole lesson. He sat there with his arms folded and leaning back in his seat with his jaw clenched and his eyes burning into the table, he made no attempt to pick up his pencil and do any work or make notes.
"You going to that party on Friday?" Luke suddenly asked out of the blue.
"I don't know what party you mean but no" i said and I could tell he already knew the answer. a since when did I go to parties.
He laughed at me spitefully and mockingly. "of course not. why'd I even ask? you're Addison brown, why would you want to associate yourself with people outside of school" he scoffed
"Can't you just live a little and maybe go out and have fun, you know a thing called getting a life that normal teenagers do."
"No. Because maybe I don't want a life." I said emotionlessly back at him, he looked at me in deep thought for a minute before the bell rang and I left immediately.
I wasn't going to cry. there was no way Luke would be the cause of me crying. Well not today anyway. He just frustrated me, I didn't need him adding extra hatred in my life, I already hated most things and he was one of them. Well I didn't hate him, I disliked him and I didn't understand him. He was beautiful though, how could someone so beautiful be so... angry at the world. What did he have that made him like that. I was curious to know, but I knew I never would be able to. I could tell he wasn't one of those people who opened up to others.
Aw shit. Maybe I would be crying because of Luke today I thought as I felt the first tear slide down my cheek.
Crap. Crap. Crap.
I furiously wiped away the following tears, taking deep breaths and hiding my face behind my hair as much as I could. The last thing I needed was somebody to see me cry and then laugh at me. Crying was a weakness and I seemed to do it a lot. I needed to get out of these crowded hall ways and quickly. I felt like I was going to scream, my hands started to shake and my mind became dizzy, I knew I was going to have a panic attack and needed some air quickly so I could save myself the embarrassment of having one right here in the middle of the busy hallway.
I pushed the heavy school entrance door open and almost fell outside at how quickly I was moving, surprised that I hadn't tripped over my own feet yet. There were a few people scattered around the school grounds but they were quite far away and wouldn't notice or bother me.
I spotted the bench I normally go to when feeling like this and sat down, all the while I was trying to slow my breathing down to normal. away was Luke so horrible. What had I ever said to him that made him hate me so much. I didn't deserve him to tell me how much of a boring person I am right? I can do that myself, he just makes these feelings I have worse. It's hard to explain.
He can make my life hell if he carried on like this. His comments .. well almost insults were getting meaner day by day. I didn't understand.
"Mind if I sit down?" A smooth voice cut through my raging thoughts and I looked up to the source of the voice almost gasping at the sight of him up close.
"Uh sure yeah, go ahead" I stuttered bewildered .
I turned away from him as he sat down, wiping away the tear streaks that had silently rolled down my cheeks. I probably looked so pathetic, he must of sat down out of pity thinking I was some pathetic girl who spent her break times crying by herself.
"Are you okay?" he asked as i accidentally sniffed and sucked in a breath. I had a sudden urge to cry again but promised I wouldn't. Not infront of him.
"Yeah" i croaked out pathetically.
"I can see that you're not there's no point lying" he said
"Then there was no point asking" I chuckled as he did the same.
"I'm Ashton" he said throwing me a smile and his dimples popped out mesmerising me for a few seconds. I liked dimples. They were cute. Ashton was cute. Luke has dimples. But I don't really like Luke. But Luke's cute too...
"Addie" I said
"I like your hair" he said touching the ends of it gently and twiddling it round his finger.
"Thanks"
"It reminds me of cotton candy. Fluffy and pink" he said in amazement.
"Yeah, I guess it does."
"So you're what? 2. Years below me right? because I saw you with Calum earlier and I'm pretty sure he's 2 years younger than me"
"Yeah, 2 years" I sighed.
"So, Addie. Whats up? and dear god don't say the sky or I will leave right now" he joked playfully igniting butterfly's in my stomach and making me feel funny.
"Well it depends on where you chose to stand" I said smartly.
"You're a clever one aren't you" he chuckled side glancing at me and smiling.
"Depends"
"On what?"
"My effort" I said
"Lets try this again." He said before getting up and walking away only to turn back round the next second and sitting back down next to me. I looked up confused at what he was doing.
"Hi Addie, what is the problem? why are you crying, please tell your dearest friend Ashton who could possible help depending on his efforts." He said making me laugh at his stupidity and how silly he sounded. But once again my body betrayed me and a blush rose to my cheeks as he said 'friend'.
Were we friends now?
I liked the thought of that. Ashton and Addie, Friends.
"Trust me, You don't want to know" I replied
"pleaseeee, I know we just met, but I can help. You can trust me Addie."
Trust- a thing thats hard to gain, easy to lose and never be regained.
"everything."
A/N: AW Ashton's so cute >.<
oh and Happy Halloween! I might update tonight x